Seungcheol awoke to a dog pile of boys around him. 

Hansol was right next to him with a bandana covering his disheveled hair, most likely left on from their late night, early morning schedule. In front of Hansol, Seungkwan slept with his arms tucked neatly to his side's, but his face looking anything but neat as it was stained with various colors of blacks, pinks and browns from the heavy makeup he forgot to remove. Junhui and Minghao were sleeping side by side like puppies, well, somewhat rabid puppies that is. Jun looked thoroughly assaulted from the wild limbs of the China line's younger and the assailant himself looked relatively content. Mingyu and Wonwoo also slept next to each other in something like a lazy embrace, almost like Mingyu went to hug the other playfully, but got locked in to the position when sleep hit him. Knowing Wonwoo, the rapper was probably hit with the same strong dose of sleep. Soonyoung was asleep in a position as if he were actually awake in a chair, sitting forward with Chan at his feet. Seokim was laying against the wall next to them with a hoodie covering his face. Jisoo slept on his guitar in front of Jeonghan like they were going to sing before being knocked out by the inevitable exhaustion.

The leader would have felt the usual contentment of seeing all s together, but did the mental count once, then twice and came to the realization that someone was missing.

 . . . Jihoon . . .

Seungcheol carefully got up and tip-toed around the sleeping members. He stalked over to their bedrooms that no one was able to make it to, then the bathrooms which were empty. Finally, in a mark of desperation, Seungcheol decided to go outside for a moment so he could call the vocal leader.

Thankfully, Jihoon sat on the steps outside their dormitory. He was in an oversized sweatshirt (which Seungcheol noticed was his upon approaching) with his face buried into his chest and eyes screwed tightly shut.

"Early bird catches the worm?" Seungcheol asked his friend gently, coming near and sitting with the younger. 

Jihoon visibly tensed up, but forced a smile and nodded. Seungcheol tried not to do the same.

It was embarrassing to even remember, but it was most definitely the reason they're relationship was tense. The thing is, Jihoon came out and confessed his love to Seungcheol a few years ago and no matter how hard he tried to make it seem like the brusque little confession was merely a joke, both knew that it was not. It was exactly everything both boys never really wanted for themselves- a sappy story about first love and rejection.

Not that it was exactly a rejection though.

Seungcheol prided himself on being the leader and going that extra step farther if the others gave their all. He liked being reliable, the oldest hyung who didn't bias anybody out of all his younger brothers . . . but if Jihoon and he were to- become more than friends then he couldn't guarantee things would stay the same.

"Look Jihoon, I love you with all my heart, I also love Seventeen as a whole with all my heart and I love being an idol with all my heart- I think you understand right?" Seungcheol said carefully.

Jihoon nodded, forced a smile and hugged himself close like it was suddenly cold in the stairwell.

He looked so small, smaller than Seungcheol had ever seen, even with him being the smallest in height of the group. Seeing him all curled into himself made the older's heart ache and even trying so hard to look strong, he looked too vulnerable, like he would cry, which was not the Jihoon that Seungcheol knew. 

He honestly didn't know what he knew.

Jihoon awkwardly got up and made his way back into the dorm. Seungcheol dropped his face into his hands and uttered a hopeless sigh. He sprung up though when steps alerted him that someone else was coming.

An almost unrecognizable face peaked around the banister and joined him in sitting in the steps. "Hyung . . .", the youngest started in a groggy drawl, resting his head on the oldest. Seungcheol forced his face to be neutral while talking to Chan. The round faced youth didn't say much for awhile, but eventually muttered, "Do you and Jihoon hyung not like each other anymore?" He didn't have to look down to know the groggy face had been wide awake and listening- too how much was the question. The maknae always kept up so well with the others that sometimes the leader forgot that he was still just a kid and seeing two people who were close to him going through problems could definitely freak a kid out, no matter how mature he seemed.

"No Chan-ah, Jihoon and I were just talking about some heavy stuff", Seungcheol tried to assure the youngest, patting his shoulder gently.

Chan made a small sigh knowing that things wouldn't be solved so quickly and said in a rush, "Jihoon likes you a lot and I know he'd probably never tell you this, but you're his first ever love. He thinks you're special." 

Seungcheol tensed up. So that's how much he heard, basically everything.

Chan continued, "And I know you think he's special too. I don't see why you can't just love him back."

Noise from the dormitory interrupted them. The members were waking up. The sound of someone singing obnoxiously loud despite the others that were still resting, displeased complains and other kinds of loud chatter.

Chan seemed disappointed, but scurried off to the dorm without saying.

Seungcheol took another deep breath before returning inside to find zombie-like boys trudging around in preparation of the day. Soonyoung, despite his wild bed head and half asleep eyes, was ready making plans to order breakfast from the nearby take out place and a line was forming at their bathroom.

Chan had joined the group of waiters and Jihoon was just sitting on his unused bed. He was patiently explaining a Korean word to Minghao, but seemed to make it more drawn out when he noticed Seungcheol looking. He looked even more relieved when Soonyoung asked if he could pay half of their meal, sending the vocal leader on a wild goose hunt for his wallet. He put a smile and went.

Seeing the twenty year old work so hard made Seungcheol ache. He was smiling and doing everything as normal even though he had just been rejected, and rejected in such an awkward way. It wasn't his fault that things were . . . Like this. Not what he thought but . . .

The truth needed to come out.

He moved without thinking to the room Jihoon disappeared in to find his money and was greeted by thin legs poking out over the edge of the bed, looking deep in the covers. Seungcheol closed the door behind him, alerting the younger to look up.

"Oh . . .", Jihoon said, straightening on the bed with his money purse in hand.

The older held his breath for some moment before starting, " I lied Jihoon. I'm not rejecting you because of Seventeen- it's because there's something about me. Something different . . ."

That piqued the younger's interest immediately and Seungcheol continued, forcing down the mixed emotions to tell or not.

"Like, you're gay and know a lot of things about stuff like that, but I'm kind of something else. I think I might be aromantic. I love you and the others like brothers, but actual romantic feelings don't- work for me. I don't know."

It was obvious Seungcheol was struggling. He had always lived a hyper masculine lifestyle and was expected for it to transfer over into his love life. He found himself liking to be around Jihoon, but didn't understand why he couldn't go that extra mile. He didn't understand why he couldn't feel the kind of love they talked about in stories no matter what.

Seungcheol took a shuddering breath to control his tears.

Suddenly Jihoon's hands were on the older's shoulders. His smile was sad but completely genuine as he said, "I mean, yeah it's sad that you can't love me like that, but I'm completely happy just knowing you how you are. I love you, and because of that, I would never force upon you to feel the same way."

He wrapped his arms around Seungcheol in a light hug and said, "I'm perfectly fine just being a platonic partner."

The leader sighed and hugged Jihoon back. "I would like that. Thank you so much."

It was so good to finally confess.

The both of them.

A little snicker from the doorway made both men look over to see Chan with a smug little smirk on his face.

They laughed.

Pinku pinku mobile

Skype if the ending seems lazy or nah.

I just wanted it to be cute.