When They Grow Up

It’s always a hard thing to let go, but a joyous thing to see them fly.

Part 1

Change.

It comes when you least expect it.  Sometimes even when you do expect it, and try so very hard to stop what's coming, it ends up happening anyway.

But hey, that's life.

What else can you do but accept the inevitable? Worrying, crying, stressing yourself out-- it's not exactly going to stop the world from spinning. Maybe in the end, trusting the mighty power above is all you can do. And hope for the better.

“Myungie hyung, hahaha!” Sungjong’s cackle filled the air in their little bedroom. The five-year-old was giggling so adorably. So so wonderfully precious. It lights up the whole world in ways that would make sunshine look dull. At least, to Myungsoo that is.

Myungsoo the older brother, seven years old, had taken to tickling Sungjong like there was no tomorrow. Myungsoo was very fond of his little brother. He'd never forget the day Sungjong first came to life in their mother's arms. Myungsoo laughed to himself because everyone thought Sungjong was a girl at first.

He was the family's bundle of joy. Myungsoo likes it that way. Likes the way Sungjong is every bit a glimmer of hope as much as faith, trust, and pixie dust.

"Just shut up! You're nothing but a sick bastard!"

"F*** you! I'm so done with all your dramatic crap!"

"Stop acting like I don't know! You think I don't know that you actually have the balls to screw around with other women, even if you have a family? I've tried to ignore it, thinking you'd come back to your senses once the guilt eats you. Guess not, because your thick skull is filled with nothing but alcohol!"

"Whatever! This sh*t will end soon enough. Then I won't have to see your ugly f***ing face ever again!"

"Just shut up and get out!"

The sound of broken glass is heard, and Sungjong's laughter dies down--turning into whimpers because this is hapenning again. Loud noises that crash along with more profanities have the five-year-old shaking. Myungsoo takes his little brother in his arms, as he tries to comfort the boy by humming a song. Sungjong takes shelter in his brother's hold, sobbing into the elder's chest as Myungsoo soothingly rubs a hand on his back.

Even if the two siblings try to distract each other, even if they smile for a while, it's fleeting. Because their little bedroom just isn't far enough to escape reality.

--

The divorce was soon done with and over. Without a doubt, Myungsoo and Sungjong were placed in an orphanage. They saw it coming. Their father spent all his money on booze and women. Their mother decided to stop caring a long time ago when anger ate her up. She only ever fed them instant food after that. Sometimes she would even forget to feed them. Until such a time she saw the kids as a nuisance.

It all started three years ago. Sungjong and Myungsoo's father got invited by his friends to go to a club. It ended in a one night stand, and then he was sneaking out-- turning the lust into a cycle. When their mother found out, it pretty much turned downhill from there. Her anger just grew every time their father would pretend that he wasn't doing anything wrong. The guy was already too far gone in his sh*t to quit. He was hooked on the lust game.

So now the siblings were here at an orphanage, with kids they didn't know. But within three weeks of their stay, many of the kids had taken a liking to Sungjong. He was pretty cute after all, and energetic when he chose to be. Myungsoo, on the other hand, was quite reserved. Good looking too yes, but kept to himself so he was seen as cold. Maybe it’s just that he’s more mature, or that he still thinks about his parents and what a happy family they could have been. Still misses a place to call home, and a mother who would kiss him or a father who would carry him up on his shoulders. In the end, Myungsoo just started to reflect and ponder about things more than average kids his age. He had to grow up much faster with the way things were. He developed a quiet character that didn’t interest other kids, so they didn’t play with him. Most always get surprised when Sungjong introduces him as his brother. They seemed so different. Myungsoo was always in a corner, or by himself—perhaps reading a book, or just looking out the window. Sungjong was active and ran around with others. The two siblings contrasted each other.

But nobody knew how truly similar they were. They just had a different way of expressing themselves.

Because no matter how many friends want to play with Sungjong, or how happy he tries to be, at night he weeps in his brother's arms. He was only five after all. He missed his parents too. At times like these, Myungsoo felt the need to protect Sungjong all the more. Myungsoo told himself he would always be there for Sungjong. Always.

He wouldn’t let anymore tears be shed. He would give Sungjong a happy childhood.

--

Adoption came later in the year. They were adopted by an old widow who wanted children of her own, but she was barren so she couldn't have that dream. Instead, she chose to be a teacher in her younger years to be surrounded by kids. She was happy that way, being a teacher while living with her husband. But unfortunately, her husband died in the army. It was a devastating blow to her, and she quit her teaching job because of grief. They were lonely years; she felt a sudden emptiness and a loss of purpose. She didn't know what to do with herself. So she often went to the elderly home, surrounded by seniors to care for, since she no longer had a husband to shower with love. Some were able to relate with her--she had met widows and widowers in that place. So she continued her service there, until she also grew old. She was nearing sixty now. Another couple of years, and she’d have to live in the elderly home not as a caretaker but as the cared for. In fact, people were already telling her that it’s alright to stop working, and start being the patient. Which she did not really like the thought of. She didn’t want to grow old just yet, but the white strands of hair she sees in the mirror were telling. She… would feel unfulfilled to grow old alone.

It just so happened, one of the volunteers in the elderly home was talking about adoption during lunch time. She realized she never thought of that option. Safe to say, the idea hit her like a bullet train.

--

Myungsoo and Sungjong lived happily with the old widow. Even if her house wasn't all that big, and she could only afford to let them attend a cheap daycare, still they felt her love that filled the gaps in their hearts. She was kind and she was caring—she was very motherly, and adored the boys. Her name was Miyoung. And the boys loved her back with just as much intensity. Someone was reading them bedtime stories, giving them hugs and kisses, and praising them when they came back from daycare with stories to tell. There were cookies sometimes and pancakes other mornings. On weekends, they would go to the park for a picnic, or to feed the birds. It was just… magical. Myungsoo and Sungjong thought that this was the happiest they’ve been in a long time. Miyoung thought the same.

But of course, sometimes life just does that thing… that thing when you’re extremely happy, and it takes something valuable from you so that you’re equally sad, if not even more.

Myungsoo was fifteen and Sungjong was thirteen when it happened. It had been ten years living with Miyoung, and she was getting old and getting weak. Eventually, she became sick and bedridden. Myungsoo did his best to provide for the family by delivering newspapers, handing out flyers, working at a carwash, shining shoes—anything at all really, that would bring money home or enough to save for future use. In order to do that, Myungsoo had to quit school. Sungjong also wanted to help, but Myungsoo decided against it. He wanted his brother to finish education and get a real job. So Miyoung’s retirement money was half spent on every day needs together with Myungsoo’s small earnings, and also on Sungjong’s school tuition. They were able to get him in a private school that had affordable tuition and allowed student loans. Not the highest class, but nevertheless still a private school. Sungjong endeavored to do his best for his family, as such an honor was placed on him. If you asked him, he would rather that Myungsoo be the one to finish education. His brother deserved it. But if the blessing was passed onto him, then he was going to make it worth every sweat and energy that his brother worked for, and to make Miyoung proud.

After Myungsoo works and after Sungjong’s classes, the two boys would instantly sit beside Miyoung’s bed when they get home. They would hug her and kiss her, and tell her stories like they always have. They would feed her and look after her, give her medicine, and hold her hand. She would reciprocate with as much strength she could muster in her withering body. They would exchange “I love you”s, with a heavy atmosphere settling afterwards. Any moment could be the last.

But Miyoung doesn’t cry; she wants to be happy in the sight of her boys until she departs. The boys too, would cry to themselves only when they are out of sight; making sure to always be happy in the presence of their mother. No, she’s not a stepmom to them. To them, she was a real and true mother. She was lovely and she continued to be even until her last breath.

_____________________________________________

Author's note:

Hiiii :) Don't know when I'll be able to update again cuz of school, but yeah here's the first part.

Comments are appreciated.

Thanks for reading!

*there was a Peter Pan reference btw, I'm sure you guys noticed ehehehe