Today is Monday and Mark wakes up with a huge eye bags. It is nothing new though, it has been a week since his son was suffering from indigestion. Not that he is complaining with his look but aside from not looking presentable for his monthly report at the company later, he also have not finish half of the slides he is suppose to present too busy attending to baby Yugyeom’s needs in the middle of the night. Mark does not know why he did not even bother to wake his partner up when he knows he needs to rest or maybe because he already feels guilty for putting everything on Jackson, for having him take care of their son the whole day, cleaning the house, and even doing the laundry while he is gone to work.

Jackson retires from fencing a week after they brought home one month old Yugyeom from the orphanage. Before the couple comes to an agreement for the younger one to be a stay at home dad, they had a couple of arguments resulting to a cold war none of them cannot remember how long it last.

For Jackson, it is not something that is easy to give up. As much as he loves his son, he cannot just abandon a profession he worked hard for his entire life. He won several gold medals in his lifetime and he does not want that to go to waste in a snap. “Let’s be honest here, your joints are going to get rusty soon.” Mark says and he is aware of that but he is only twenty six, what could go wrong?

“What could go wrong? Jackson seriously, no one is going to take care of Yugyeom and besides my work is  better paying than yours.” And that is the cue for Jackson to slam the door shut to their bedroom. Thankfully baby Yugyeom does not wake up to the sound.

Mark knocks profusely, feeling guilty for saying that to his husband. The door soon opens not long before he hears a loud thud on the floor followed by a crash. Maybe Jackson is punching the wall or throwing off random things but Mark does not really care for the state of their bedroom because it is Jackson’s feeling that he broke and that is what he wants to fix right away. He continues knocking, sweaty due to uneasiness that he forgets there are spare bedroom keys.

“You are right, hyung. It’s not like I am still competing anyway. I am just some coach at a local sports clinic earning less than half of your salary.” Jackson says sounding hurt with a hint of sarcasm. It is true though, Mark does not have to remind him. But he enjoys teaching children with the sport he has grown to love when he was at their age and here is Mark forcing him to quit his small time job because his earnings can only cover their monthly electric bills. How nice is that.

Both does not clearly remember how they reconcile because Mark is not a sweet talker, only says he’s truly sorry and that is it. Jackson, on the other hand, is too prideful to just give in besides he still feels a little aggravated and he clearly is not buying his husband’s sincere apology at the moment.  Until one night, Yugyeom started crying uncontrollably. Being first time parents, they probably think he is hungry but when Mark brings the feeding bottle close to his son’s mouth, he refuses. They alternately try cooing him but to no avail, no method of calming stops the crying baby.

When they are in the hospital lobby waiting for the doctors to announce Yugyeom’s test results, Mark is sobbing and he knows only Jackson can comfort him but he still does not forget that they are still in an argument so he sits down far from his husband, palm covering his face because he looks like a mess, snot and all. Jackson is not heartless anyway and it is not the time to argue because they have more serious problems to face like this one so he scoots closer, hugs his train wreck of a husband and repeatedly whispers, “Our son is going to be fine.” Mark calms down eventually.

Fortunately, Yugyeom has only mild digestive problem. The couple sighs in relief as the doctor scribbles a few notes on his clipboard containing a messy handwriting of prescriptions or oral medication for the baby.

Jackson places Yugyeom on the car seat at the back and Mark sits on the front occasionally glancing at their son. “Hyung?”  Jackson breaks the ice and Mark realizes that none of them have spoken, only the faint sound of the car stereo playing on their ride home. Mark hums in response and Jackson starts apologizing which the elder finds unnecessary considering that he is the one who is at fault here.

“I can quit my job and just take care of Yugyeom plus I get to spend the whole day with him. Who knows, I might be his favorite daddy.” Jackson says like it is not a big deal to give up something that he invested his entire life into. Maybe that is what made Mark love his husband who whose confidence was sky high during college and now self degrading himself, admitting that he is losing to the game of pride which started seven days ago and it hurts.

“Hey, you don’t have to do that. Besides, we can hire a personal nurse for Yugyeom. If it is because of what I said, I am so sorry and I regret saying it. I know I am such an idiot for being insensitive; you can punch me if you want. I-” Jackson pulls over for a second and Mark only starts to comprehend that he has been talking non-stop (or saying what he has been suppressing the whole week because Jackson ignores him and he completely understand that)

“But I have made my decision, hyung. You know better than me anyway. I only know how to poke my opponents and you know everything about finances, stocks, and all that office but I love Yugyeom and I love you.” Jackson looks at him straight in the eye and reaches for his hand. He starts the engine and steps on the clutch before Mark can reply. He will be saving his I love you, too once he tucks Yugyeom to bed and when they are about to sleep.

-

Today is Yugyeom’s first birthday. It is not a grand celebration because Jackson protested that their son is not going to remember it anyway. “That is why there is this device called a camera, babe.” Mark blurts out.

When the guests ask what Jackson does for a living, Mark smiles and says proudly that he is a stay at home dad and is recently learning how to cook but he does not reveal that they are a burnt egg yesterday morning. Mark also claims that what his husband does every day is harder than managing stocks and deal breaking to which his fellow parents agree.

He remembers coming home from work seeing his two boys curled up in a nap. Sometimes, little Yugyeom is laying on his daddy’s chest, other days he catches Jackson drooling on the couch, half empty bottle on his grip. Everything else remain as it is, only the saber that his husband used to hold twenty four hours a day is now replaced with Yugyeom’s dirty diapers. Who would have thought that the gold medalist would also ace parenting?

-

Indeed, their son grows up so fast without them realizing. When Yugyeom was four, he often wakes up, usually at one A.M. and slips in the middle of his parent’s bed because he can be easily scared, all kids are anyway (he must have taken that from Jackson, Mark is sure of) but it only lasted for about a week when Jackson suggested that they must go shopping for big boy beds because Yugyeom is too tall for his age, his feet are already slipping past his bed.

But Yugyeom is over that phase now because he will enter kindergarten today and Mark has never been so nervous. He thinks of calling in sick for the day just so he can accompany his not so baby boy to school and see if he is eating his packed lunch well.

“You do not want our son to be a pig, do you?” Jackson says as Mark adds another pack of animal shaped biscuits on Yugyeom’s lunch bag.

“Ssshh, what if Gyeom gets hungry or what if a bully steals his lunch?” Mark cringes just by thinking about what can possibly happen on his son’s first day of school.

“Are there even preschool bullies? I thought they only exist in middle school?”

“Shut up, Jackson.” Mark sighs, inserting a small plastic container with diced fruits.

Afternoon came, and to every parent’s horror, Yugyeom’s uniform is dirty, his lunch almost untouched, But he hugs his parents, smiling and too excited to tell the story of how he manage to beat his Thai friend, Bambam and Youngjae whose fringes are like bitten by a mouse in a game of dodge ball. Their son made new friends today and it is all that matters.

Two months later, Yugyeom loses his two front teeth and he still looks adorably cute. Although he protests that he has become a vampire. A very cute vampire, Jackson adds. Also, it is the time of the year where his parents secretly slip one thousand won under his pillow for every baby tooth he loses.

“Daddy, daddy! The tooth fairy came!” Yugyeom waves his two thousand won as he makes his way downstairs for breakfast. Mark and Jackson exchange high fives.

note: typos and tense inconsistencies because i'm lazy