Her

Seoul came alive with light and sound as nighttime settled upon the city. A light breeze passed through the city reminding its inhabitants of the coming season. A girl sat near the edge of the Han River sobbing and letting the pain of her heartbreak wash over her. She felt pain engulf her whole body as she felt all the sorrow and pain of parting ways with the one she loves. The split was inevitable and necessary as she was supposed to die in 6 months. With 3 months left she decided that she could no longer let her lover suffer and so she decided to let him go. She did not want him to once again feel the pain of losing a loved one too soon to a sleep in which they would never awaken. She could not bear to have him see her in the pained and pitiful state she would be in before her death. She had to let him go so that he could move on after her death. She hoped that he would soon come to forget her and live a happy life. She wanted him to be able to move on and find happiness with someone else, someone who would not leave his side so soon. Although the thought of him with someone else pained her greatly, she knew that she could never be the one. The one who he marries and has a family with; she could never be the one who grows old with him. For her it was too late to even dream of this sort of happiness. As she sits by the river deep in thought, she tries to convince herself that she made the right decision in letting him go.

Him

He stands in his kitchen staring out the window at the cityscape lit up by the lights and sounds of the local nightlife. He thinks back to the moment when she said that she wanted to break up, the scene plays in his head over and over again it seems like it has been on a continuous loop since that day. He had watched her through teary eyes as she got up and walked away, she had said that she didn’t love him anymore and wanted to break up. But he knew the truth, he knew that she had lied and although that hurt him he understood why she really wanted to break up.

He knew that she was sick, and that she didn’t have that much longer to live; she thought that she hid it well, but he knew. Despite her tries to keep it a secret, he found out anyway. He had found the papers on her desk that detailed her prognosis, her sickness as well as how much time she had left. Although he understood her reasoning, it still hurt; it hurt him to know that she didn’t want him there at the end, to comfort her and show her how much she is loved in her final moments.

His phone rang, snapping him out of his reverie; it was the hospital calling to inform him that she was there, she had collapsed and didn’t have that much time left. He rushed to the hospital; only to find out that it was too late she was already gone. The truth was that her condition had been rapidly decreasing for the past few weeks and she knew she had even less time than originally thought. The hospital staff handed him a letter, which she had asked to be given to him right before she passed away.

마크 오빠(Mark Oppa),

사랑헤 그리고 미안헤 (I love you and I am sorry). I am sorry for everything.  I am sorry that I lied and said that I didn’t love you anymore. I am sorry for breaking up with you, but I had to do it, I hope you can understand why I did it and forgive me. I am sorry for not telling you that I was sick, although I feel that you knew anyway. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you that I was dying, and that there was no hope. It hurt too much knowing that I wouldn’t be able to spend a lifetime with you. We promised to be together for forever and I am sorry that I won’t be able to fulfill that promise. You lost your parents so early and I couldn’t hurt you with the knowledge that you were about to loose me early as well. Now that I have passed, I want you to let me go and be happy. Please move on with your life, meet someone new, get married, have children, and live a long happy life together. Thank you for being one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I am sorry for not properly saying goodbye, but you know I am terrible at goodbyes. Thank you for being one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I am sorry for not properly saying goodbye, but you know I am terrible at goodbyes. 나를 사랑해줘서 고마워. (Thank you for loving me).

니 자기 (Your Honey)