You never thought you’d get to this point- you were independent, strong; a man would never make you hopeless. But here you were, in your friend’s spare room, in borrowed clothes, hiding from the world. You didn’t feel like faking smiles for Luhan and Xiumin- who were either trying to lure you out with pity ice cream or camping outside the door incase you tried anything stupid; apparently it had gotten to that point. You disagreed, saying you just wanted your space to think- but then again from their point of view it must seem like it, when even was the last time you ate? You grimace at the thought of food, anything that touched your empty stomach made you feel nauseous, but that was no surprise- even being conscious hurt right now. Speaking felt like razorblades in your throat from the crying when Luhan brought you to his. Thinking caused too much physical pain, the hollow feeling of loss tearing through you like a riptide- making it difficult to breathe.

You pull the covers from over your head and tumble out of bed, your feet patter on the laminate flooring as you make your way across the room to the ensuite. Opening the door, you’re blinded by the daylight streaming through the skylight- you’d been sat in the darkened room for so long, the light stung your eyes. Shielding your vision, you make your way to the sink, cupping water from the tap and bringing it up to your lips, repeating the process until your thirst was quenched. You splash water on your face and gather all the mental courage you could to look into the mirror. You flinch inwardly at the reflection, gaunt and pale, a shadow of your former self. No. No, you couldn’t let your friends see you like this. Just a few more days, you could pull through that long- get your mind in check, then you could leave this room, and convince everyone you were okay.

*
Luhan paces back and forth in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee maker to signal when his much needed caffeine fix could be met. He rubbed his hands together nervously, scratching at split skin around his nails from where he’d been biting them in his stressful state. Xiumin sipped his tea from across the centre island, watching on with exasperation.

“Luhan, if you keep doing that you’re going to make me motion sick.” He rolls his eyes, setting the mug down and brushing the crumbs from his muffin off the surface and into his hand. Luhan turns to him- ready to spark back, but sighs heavily after a meaningful look is exchanged between the two, and leans against the counter opposite Xiumin.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m just worried. Y/N hasn’t left that room in days, I knew we shouldn’t have put her in the room with the ensuite.”  He pouts his lips in a regretful expression. Xiumin hums, passing the other half of his muffin to him- Luhan accepts it gladly, wolfing it down in two bites, and carries on like nothing had transpired.

“It’s just, you should have seen him, man. He didn’t try to explain or defend himself, he just stood there with that stupid face of his. He wouldn’t even look at her. The nerve of that tool.”  He snarls through gritted teeth, turning to the coffee machine and gripping onto the counter ledge either side of it. “I’ve got half a mind to drag him over here to apologise.” Xiumin shakes his head.

“It’s been three days, if he was going to come crawling, he would have done it by now.” Luhan flips around in a second, causing Xiumin to return a startled stare.

“He’s scum. It’s like he doesn’t even care what he’s doing to her.” Luhan spits, staring angrily at the spare room door. Xiumin stands up, walks over to the bin and sweeps the crumbs out of his hands.

“He must care, they’ve been together for 5 years. Maybe he’s expecting her to be angry and giving her space.” Luhan raises his eyebrows.

“You’re defending him?”

“Of course not, but he’s our friend too you know, we know him and there’s got to be a reason.” Luhan grimaces, a bitter taste on his tongue.

“You could say that.” An unfamiliar text tone from across the room gains his attention as he pushes himself off the counter and looks for it’s source. Xiumin frowns.

“What do you mean? Do you know something?” His questioning is ignored as Luhan pulls out your phone from down the side of the sofa, a message from Kai. He grits his teeth at it and passes it to Xiumin- who sighs deeply and rubs his temples.

“Where’s the washing liquid? Really? ing arsehole only has THAT to say? That’s it.” Luhan grabs his jacket as he storms towards the front door, leaving Xiumin frantically looking from his friend to the spare door, not knowing where to go.

“Don’t do anything stupid!” He calls after him as the door slams shut.