Hello! it's been a while... Is it three months already? Time flies really fast. So a lot of things happened within these months. The last time I went on here, I told myself that I will not write anymore, however, writing keeps on making its presence known to me. I tried to devote time to more important things but I realized that writing is an important part of me too. I do not care if it's OC's I write or fanfic or poem or a piece of crack, I just want to write... I started to write OC's and stories again. So, this one... I converted this OC to taeny... HAHA! For the love of mother of a goose. I don't know... Maybe their friendship is beautiful?
But anyway, I will continue writing shots. Maybe not so often but I will uncheck this mark complete box.
This will be Taeyeon's POV, Enjoy!
What are you thankful for?
Inspired by Magic authored by Rhonda Byrnes
I grew up practically an underdog. I wasn’t so awesome as other cool kids are. Actually, I am pretty kind much of an antisocial. Do they call it introvert?
Frankly, I don’t give a damn.
I have friends, but they have friends too. I got a boyfriend, but I figured out he got another girlfriend too. So practically, I have no one to spend my weekend with.
It and if boredom could kill, I was already six feet under ground.
I decided to be charitable and volunteer to clean classrooms for the incoming students over the weekend. They will have to start classes on this incoming weekdays. I was alone in the room because no one wants to come with me. They said there is a ghost in there.
Just some ordinary horror campus tale about a girl who jumped on the window and suicide. I don’t believe it, and I was convinced it wasn’t true when a high school girl come in the room. She looked at me for a while, I thought she’s going to help in cleaning but she goes the other way around.
“Hey, please stop writing on the board. I already cleaned that a while ago!” I said to a red head high-schooler girl who seemed not to care about me ranting at the back.
“Kids these days…” I decided to ignore her and continue mopping the floor
In the house, I do house hold chores…In school, I do chores again. Am I born to be a cleaner? This , I’m not even getting paid but then it makes me think.
What’s my purpose in life? To help other people, that’s what I’ve been told. But I find nothing wrong with it, I mean, if you do not know what to do in your hands, lend it to the others. Living life that is purposeless is much worse than dying. You’ll wake up in the morning, eat, go to work or a university, do homework or work task to earn money, eat again and sleep.
What do I live for?
You’re just merely surviving without goal… All alone in your monotonous routine.
If I can’t do anything for the world, just hang me to death or send me to a battle field… At least I died a hero and with a fight, with a goal of diminishing enemies of the nation.
But what if life ? How can we turn it to 180 degrees and make it happy?
Does it always have to be “Same old, Same old…Nothing change good old mate.”?
I found the answer on a quote written by the high school girl on the board.
“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” –Thorton Wilder (1897-1975) Writer and Playwright
I went to the girl to ask what it meant, she only gave me a rock, and “Count your blessings…” she said to me as she gave me those eye smile that made my monotonous living drastically changed.
At first, I do not understand it, but I did it anyway. I started to count my blessings like the girl told me. Every time I looked at this rock, All I ever think about are her words “Count your blessings…” Am I bless? How come I do not feel it? How come I got a lot of bad luck in me? I just stepped on my dog’s this morning, is that a blessing? I do not know. But yet, I decided to write the major things that happened to me for a week. I decided to give thanks to it, even for the most critical ty one.
It was a sunny day this morning so I decided not to bring my umbrella when I had my groceries. But happened, the rain suddenly poured.
“My, Oh my! The grocery ran out of stock of Jellies and now it’s raining. Thank you so much!” I said sarcastically
“Hey!” Suddenly, someone called my attention. I saw a familiar girl, the one that gave me the rock.
“Oh! You’re here too.
“I’m always everywhere…” the red head girl said to me
I ignored her connotation and continued speaking “My…It’s raining heavily.” I said
“I have an umbrella, I’ll take you to the North bound station.”
“How did you know I’ll go there?” I asked
“I know…I just know.” She said
We were walking when she asked me, “Did you count your blessings?”
“It hasn’t happened yet to me.”
“It’s already happening… You’re just unaware of it,” she said
“And give me one blessing you know that happened to me today?” I challenged her
She looked at me and said “You’re alive… It’s more than enough. You got a chance to breathe the air, the privilege to think, to enjoy and to love.”
She was right… How come this high school girl is much intelligent than adults that I hang out with? Maybe I’m with the wrong group or we’re just naturally fools.
I realized I’m already on my destination so I said “This is me…” she just stared at me with her unreadable expression “So… See you when I see you?” I said
“Don’t worry, I’m always everywhere.” She said those words again as she gave out another eye smile. It should have sound so creepy, however, it gives me a happy feeling of seeing this girl again.
Well, I just wrote down what happened to my day. I got stuck in a traffic and got late on work. Is this a blessing? I have no idea.
On the next day, I was going to ride a bus but it seems like the bus is packed already. I was about to wait for another bus to come until someone pulled me inside before the door closes.
“Don’t waste your time, comfort will get you nowhere. Get out from it.” It was the same red head high school girl as before.
“You’re here again…” I said to her
“I’m always everywhere…”
“I pretty much sure you’ll say that.”
“Ah, Where too? I mean your destination.” I asked her and she just pointed out the window outside
“You see those clouds? I want to ride them someday…And those birds, I want to fly with them too.” She said seriously and I just throw a fit of laughter
“Aladdin’s magic carpet is on its way… hang on!” I said as I made a fake whooshing sound to make fun of the girl, but she ignored me and asked instead
“Did you count your blessings?”
“Same old, Same old…Life .”
“It wasn’t life…It was you.”
“How dare you?...” she cut me on my rants
“Life is always beautiful when you’re living it right…” she said, “You have the most powerful blessing, you just didn’t know.”
“How could I not know if it's something about my life?!” I said impatiently
“You’re taking it for granted.”
“Why you… I can show you an entire list why my life !” I said
“You do not have much faith, do you?”
“That every day is always a blessing…”
“Every day is a routine!” I laughed at her humor
“Do you still have the rock?” she asked
“When was the last time you said thank you?”
“You told me to count my blessings, not to say thank you!”
“Blessings are gratitude…” she said
I was in a daze until I noticed that the bus already made it stopped on my destination.
“Will I see you again?” I asked
“I’m always everywhere…” she said and the bus door opens
“What’s your name?” I asked fastly because I was in a hurry of getting off
“Tiffany…” she said as she gave me that eye smile of hers.
That’s enough to brighten up my day. Is it a blessing? Maybe… Okay, maybe it was the best thing that I’ve seen so far. A beautiful smile from a mysterious philosophical girl.
A week had passed, I continued writing what’s going on with my life… Frankly, if you look at my list, it’s pitiful and boring. It definitely like I said to the girl… I purposely wrote every misfortune things that happened in my life to show it to Tiffany. She’ll find out that,
My life is plain, average, and boring…
I went to a café the next day, I saw my old professor slash my old crush. I was contemplating within me if I will approach him or not to strike up some simple conversation, however, I was afraid he might not remember me anymore and will ignore me so I decided not to and just sit on a distant chair and looked at him.
“No matter what you are thinking, if you don’t say it, you won’t able to express it and people will not know it…” A familiar voice interrupted my thoughts
“Whoa there! You’re here again?” I asked
“I told you that…”
“Ah, yes… You’re always everywhere.” I said
She just kept quiet and looked at me.
“Don’t you have classes at this hour?” I asked her
“I’ve been there for years, I want a change of scenery…” she said
“Ah, skipping class? Then why are you always wearing that uniform?”
“I have no choice but to wear it…”
I just laughed, I noticed that the guy at the cashier kept staring at me weirdly but I decided to ignore it.
“Go on…” she said to me
“Take your first leap of faith…” she said as she pointed at my old professor “That man is lonely, he definitely needs company.”
“H-How did you know?”
“I just know…”
“I…I don’t want to. I’m too tired.”
“You’re not tired… You’re afraid to be rejected.”
“I-I’m not! But, what if he doesn’t remember me?”
“You’ll never know the answer if you do not ask! Don’t think, just do it.”
I stood up slowly and decided to approach the man that was reading the newspaper. As I go near him, my knees trembled and I was about to greet him when happened.
“H-Hi Mr.Byun…AAAAAHH! OUCH!” I didn’t notice the slippery when wet sign so I slipped.
“Oh, miss! Are you alright?” he asked
“I…I-I think so…” then I heard a giggle from my previous table. I glared at the eyeless mean creature but my gaze had softened when she smiled at me.
Professor lifted me up, and I so his expression very well “Miss Kim?” he said
“Ah… you r-remembered me?”
“Of course! You’re one of the brightest students I ever handled.”
And with that, we talked a bit more before he told me he has to leave.
“I’ll see you around Miss Kim!” He shook my hands and waved goodbye at me
I could not believe what happened so I was left speechless on my spot. Then I noticed that the girl isn’t on her seat anymore.
“That brat… she abandoned me after I made out a fool of myself!” I muttered a curse then I walked out of the café. I decided to stroll at the park to get some fresh air and for sure, no one in the café will go there and noticed that the girl who tripped a while ago in front of her crush was there.
I was looking at a statue, the statue of freedom where our national hero is, then a voice startled me.
“So, how was it?” Tiffany asked
“EVERYTHING IS EMBARASSING!” I retorted
“At least you get noticed and you find your answer to your question.” She said
“Whatever…You ditched me.”
“Now, the destiny will take its course.” She said
“That’s just a coincident…” I said
“Do you think this man had become a hero because of a coincident?” she said pertaining to the statue in front of us.
“Maybe?” I answered
“Pen is mightier than sword… that’s what he believed in…so he fought for it.”
“So the point is?”
“We all have something we believed in… it’s implanted on at from the day we were born, however, it’s up to you if you will fight for what you believe in to reach your destiny.”
“Destiny is not true… it’s just a mere magic… a superstition.” I argued
“There is no such thing as coincidences or accidents. Nothing happens unless someone wills it to happen.”
“Who is that someone?”
“God.” She said
“If there’s such thing as him in heaven, why am I not rich right now? Why my life is always like this? Why am I not blessed? Why can’t I feel him?” I said
“He’s here, you’ve got to know that he’s always here, all around us but he stays invisible for you… like everything he does for you, and it remains unseen because you do not open your eyes.”
“Well if heaven is true, I would like to go there.”
“You already live in there…”
I looked at her as she speaks
“To live in gratitude is to touch heaven… You’re lucky enough to be able to move, unlike this statue.” She said
“I do not even know when the last time I went to church…I guess I have low moral value.” I confessed
“You see that man in cloak walking with his mobile phone on his hand?” she pointed “That man is a preacher, he keeps on sending Godly verses to everyone. He also donates a huge amount of money in the church, however, he practices adultery.”
“Morality isn’t based on religion…It isn’t based on what you preach. What matters the most is what you do for yourself and your fellows.”
She’s right… I hate it when she’s always right.
I suddenly remembered about my list.
“Ah! Here’s my list…” I handed her the paper that contains the reason why my life . She just stared at my hands and said: “Just read it for me.”
Start of the list
I stepped on my dog pooped. It was my favorite shoes. >.<
My sister Seulgi stole my pringles.
I slept for 4 hours because of my report deadline.
It’s Monday and I’m already screwed!
My friend Sooyoung and Sunny stole all my chips and jellies.
My report got rejected so I have to repeat it all over again.
My friends set me up on a blind date, for the reasoned that they said: “Love is blind.”
Seulgi teased me that my dress is out of fashion and laughed at me.
Tuesday, I had a hard time to choose my clothes
I woke up
Brush my teeth
Take a bath
Go to work
Comes home late
Well, I basically wrote these down because nothing happened to me today
My allowance for the week ran out, Seulgi stole it that brat.
The bus is packed, the train is packed, cabs are packed… Damn, our city is congested.
I have to clean the house because mother nagged me to do it.
Father got home drunk, he got six bottles of soju left in his bag, we drink it together. Mom was raging mad.
I got sick.
Seulgi finally confessed that she’s pregnant. Mom was not pleased. Then Seulgi suddenly laughed and said, she was kidding. Prankster forever! Imma kill her one day.
My boss gave me loads of work, he actually , to be honest.
My phone was stolen by thugs out there, Gosh my selfies…
My friend Jessica cooked food for the entire troop… We’re doomed! I so Sooyoung shaking in fear. It was the first time I saw her afraid of food.
I forgot my umbrella and it rained so hard, I got drenched from head to toe.
I forgot the key in the house so I was locked out until Seulgi comes around and let me in but with a bribe of having an increase in her allowance. Son of a !
I didn’t sleep well, so I just stared at the rock you gave me like a fool.
My ex re-added me on Facebook, I saw his profile picture, and he’s with his new girlfriend. That animal jerk douchebag!
I sat on the couch all day watching romcoms all day… I hope they all ended tragically.
End of list.
“Sounds interesting…” she said as she crossed her arms and looked at me
“Neither of that interest me…” I said “It’s chaotic! When will my days be peaceful?” I said in frustration
“Come with me, I’ll show you somewhere peaceful…” she said as she took my hand and dragged me somewhere.
We ended up standing in front of a cemetery.
“This is really peaceful… and dead.” I said
“It’s all quiet in here at the west front… I always hang out here for the past few years ever since that day when…” she was about to continue but she seemed to change her mind “Never mind, let’s go!” she dragged me inside
She started to tour me inside…
“You see the tomb on your left?” she pointed
“That’s Tommy… he died because of a car crash.”
“Oh? You know him?”
She ignored my remark and continued speaking “He died not even saying thank you and I loved you to his wife and parents… he regrets it the most…” she paused and continued “He regrets not being able to express his feeling well.” She said sadly
“Why do you know?” I asked in wonder
“I just know…”
“That’s unfortunate…” I said in sympathy
“That tomb on your right…” she said and I looked at her direction “That’s Margarette… She died when she gave birth to her baby. She didn’t even have a chance to meet her own baby.”
“It’s so sad…”
“I know… but there’s sadder than that.” She said as we walked again and we stopped after a while “You see this tomb?”
“Of course… I’m not blind.” I said sarcastically
“Then what have you noticed?”
“Hmmm, it’s just a tomb.”
“I know but you don’t even read…”
I read what’s in the tomb… I was shocked when I only saw a single year written on it.
“This one’s a baby?” I asked
“Yes… her name is Angel. She was aborted by her mother because her mom is too young to have a baby. Her mom was just 16 years old and her boyfriend doesn’t want the baby.” She said sadly and touched the tomb with love. “She regrets aborting her baby… She regrets taking her right to live…” she said, “She only realized that she loves her baby when it’s already too late.”
“That’s cruel! She didn’t even have a chance to live.” I said
“I know, and look behind you…” she said as she diverted the topic
“This one is full of weeds and dirt.”
“This is grandmother Dolly… She devoted her life to her children and her grandchildren, however, no one seems to remember her when she died. She hadn't even been visited even just once.”
“How could they do that to her? That’s pitiful.”
“When you die, no one will remember what you did when you’re living… unless you’re loved. That’s when people will cherish you.”
“I know…Come, Let’s sit on the pink tomb!” she cheered
“Okay? But why the tomb is pink?”
“This one… it’s her favorite color.” She said as she looked at the tomb
“She died when she was 17?” I asked as I looked at the year on the tomb
“Why did she die?”
“She committed suicide…”
“Oh…That’s such a young age! I wonder why…”
“She got pregnant and aborted her baby… Her family disowned her and her boyfriend left her in times she needed him the most. She tried to forget everything but her conscience kept on creeping on her so she decided to jump on her school building.” She said
“I do not know what to say…What she did was wrong but on the other part, I do understand her, it must be so heavy…” I said
“It was heavy…It’s surely was.” She said as she looked down
“Why did you take me here?” I asked
“Because I want you to understand something…” she said
“Life is too short… Take it, conquer it, do not fear, and don’t run away from it. Enjoy it while it last. Even the littlest things matter the most. Don’t take your life for granted. Don’t hate it. Life is the most amazing thing you can have. You’re able to move, do right choices, feel the air, love, meet other people and fulfill your dreams, cherish the people around you… You’re lucky you’re still living. Being alive is more than enough.”
“But I’m not happy…” I said
“That’s because you have no gratitude… Take that list of yours and think of something to be thankful for every unfortunate thing that happened to you. Think of something to be grateful for everything.”
After that day ended, I stayed up all night looking at my list and holding a rock… What is something to be thankful for these misfortunes?
I started it from her words in the cemetery… “You’re lucky you’re still living. Being alive is more than enough.”
I looked at my list and decided to write anything I can be thankful of…
Here’s my list:
I'm thankful for these feet, I can walk.
I'm thankful for these eyes even though it's blurred, I can see.
I'm thankful for my ears, I can hear music and harmonies
I'm thankful for this voice, I can express myself
I'm thankful for the dog , after all, my dog is still alive
I'm thankful for my nagging mother, at least I still have a mother that cares about me.
I'm thankful for my drunkard father, at least I have someone to share
some drinks with. After all, drinking alone is lonely! The problem with the world is everyone’s a few drinks behind.
I'm thankful for my jack bully sister, at least I know how to be less stupid in front of other people
I'm thankful for my friends, even though they get all my chips and jellies plus matched me and set me up through different blind dates that so bad. At least they’re supportive.
I'm thankful even though I'm standing inside the bus, at least I go to work early.
I'm thankful because I have a job, even though my boss , he gave me
I'm thankful I have education, even though all I ever did was skipped, sleep in class and be stupid.
I'm thankful I got tripped on the rock in front of my crush, at least I'm still alive and I got noticed.
I'm thankful for the food that Jessica cooked, even though it's not appetizing, it's edible.
I'm thankful for this couch I'm sitting right now for the comfort it gives me
I'm thankful for my house, my shelter from the storm and that sack this potato 24/7.
I'm thankful for the music on the radio, I like the playlist very much even though I do not know the song titles.
I'm thankful because I'm alive and woke up today
I'm thankful even though I'm sick, I know I have a chance to get better, unlike those folks that rest in peace six feet underground.
I'm thankful for these clothes that block me from getting in public.
I'm thankful I got cheated by my ex, at least I know he's a jerk and we are never ever ever getting back together.
I’m thankful that my ancestors got laid… I exist.
I'm thankful for this household chores, at least my house will be cleaned later
I'm thankful for the traffic, I got the chance to listen to the radio even though I got late.
I went out this day to the school in hopes to see Tiffany on the campus. I found myself standing in the same room as I saw her writing on the blackboard. It’s weird that everyone doesn’t like to be here and yet, she comes here alone.
“You came…” she said without looking at me and continued to write
“You know I’ll come?”
“I had a feeling that you will…” she said and finally looked at me and smiled
“Why are you here alone? Aren’t you afraid of ghost here?” I asked
“I’ve been here for years… I do not want to be kept here too. I want to be free.” She said but I do not understand what she was saying
“Here…” I handed her my list “These are the list I am thankful for…” I said
She opened it and smiled proudly “I’ve done my part…” she said, “Finally, I’m free…”
“You know, you are one peculiar teenage girl…”
“I am not…It’s just the people around me are different.” She said
“Ah… there is one thing I forget to list.” I told her
“What is it?”
“I’m thankful because you appeared into my life… If it was not because of you, I wouldn’t know how beautiful my life is… Thank you for letting me know.”
“Thank you too…” she said
“You gave me a chance to find the light.” She smiled and hugged me “You will not see me for a long time after this.” She said
“What? Where will you go?” I asked
She pointed at the window… “There, I will fly and go there.” I looked at her direction, she’s pointing towards the sky.
I did not understand her but I chose to hug her tightly for I am sad that we have to depart.
“I will miss you…” I said to her “Where will you go?” I asked again
“If you don’t understand, look at the board.” She said, and I was so sad to answer.
“Don’t worry… I’m always everywhere.” She said and smiled at me
“I figured out you’ll say that.”
“Til’ we meet again…” she said and waved goodbye to me
She suddenly went out of the room, I noticed that I have to return the rock she gave me so I ran after her but didn’t see anyone in the hallway. I came back to the room and saw what’s written on the board.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” –Matthew 11:28
I was in a dazed until someone entered the room.
“She shows up to you?” the janitor asked
“Stephanie… She shows up to you?”
“Stephanie?” I asked
“The red head high school girl, she’s been showing up around here ever since she killed herself by jumping from that window.” the old man said as he mopped the floor.
“What? I-Is that true?”
“Yes… Rumor has it that she jumped because she got pregnant and aborted the baby. Her boyfriend left her and her family kicked her out so she had enough and ended her life tragically… poor girl. It must have been tough.” He said
I suddenly remembered a certain tomb in the cemetery and now I know that it belongs to her.
I stared at the rock I was holding in my hand and said: “Thank you…”
For me she’s not a ghost, she’s an angel…And I’m glad she found her peace through helping me how to live my life.
On my way out, I bumped into a familiar man.
“Professor Byun…What are you doing here?”
“I teach here.” He said as he smiled at me
My first leap of faith works… She was right, that there is no such thing as coincidences or accidents. Nothing happens unless someone wills it to happen… and this, this is destiny.
There are so many things to be thankful for, it’s just we seemed to be focused on an unfortunate thing that we encountered that we already forgot all the good things that happened before it. We take good things for granted. It passed on us without us knowing it all because, we are not aware of what’s happening around us. Little things are huge if we know the importance of it. Life started from little things, from a single cell to billions or trillions or octillions or whatever damn numeric is that. Life started from the littlest of things, our life shall start on that too.