One thing that always surprised Kris when he was watching his pups was that all ten of them seemed to have their own distinct personality. There were always little areas where the boys had common interests or common reactions to certain situations, but each one was definitely as different as the colors of their fur.

On the quiet side was Minseok, Yixing, Kyungsoo, Kai, and Sehun. However where Kyungsoo seemed to quietly sit in the corner and read his books, Minseok followed Luhan around like he was a shadow. Yixing was the observant one who never really seemed to be on task yet magically never messed anything up, Kai was going to grow up to be the very definition of tall, dark, and mysterious, and then there was Sehun who seemed to be naturally shy. How the boy got to be shy when he had a house filled with nine older brothers was beyond Kris, but he loved his littlest pup for it.

Then there were the loud ones. Luhan loved the sound of his own voice. The twelve year old could go on about nearly anything for hours – so much so that Joonmyun loved to joke that Luhan felt the need to speak all the words for himself and for Minseok. Then there was Tao who was like a little koala bear and loved to flatter anyone in anyway possible in order to get what he wanted.

Then, there were the three troublemakers. The oldest was Baekhyun who seemed to love to be the brains behind any scheme that happened in the house. He had a way with words and a mischievous little mind that always came up with ideas that had the pups in trouble. The youngest was Chanyeol who seemed to be willing to try weird things out of childish curiosity. Over the past 3 years since he arrived in the house, he managed to squeeze his way into everyone’s heart with his big eyes and playful personality. The only thing that was faster than his legs was his mouth, always saying the first thing that came into his mind. And the one stuck in the middle of the troublemakers was Jongdae. He had the same curiosity that Chanyeol possessed, but seemed less interested in the weird things and more interested in the people around him. He seemed to have a talent for getting into his brothers’ stuff, but in his mind he didn’t do it to invade their privacy, he was just curious.

And it was Jongdae’s curiosity that led him into the room Chanyeol split with Kyungsoo and Yixing one day while its three occupants were running around outside. Recently, the family had moved houses to have a bit more space, both inside the house and out, so Chanyeol had decided to try rooming with different siblings to see if life would be any different. Secretly Joonmyun and Kris were happy about this because no good came from Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s late night talks.

But to Jongdae, despite the fact that Chanyeol now lived in the room next door instead of the bed next to his own, it was as if the slightly younger pup lived towns away.

The small eight year old walked up to Chanyeol’s bed and sniffed at the covers to see if anything had changed since they moved. But Chanyeol was still using the same black sheets covered in brightly colored flames. So, Jongdae jumped on the bed, giggling when it bounced underneath him. He liked funny things like mattresses.

From his spot on the bed he looked over at the other side of the room where both Yixing and Kyungsoo’s beds were. Overall, the place was much cleaner than the room he shared with Baekhyun – they were not very good at picking up their toys and crayons. Was that the reason Chanyeol decided to switch rooms?

When the sudden thought came to him, Jongdae couldn’t help but pout. That couldn’t be right because Chanyeol was just as messy as they were. Right?

To confirm this, Jongdae looked down at the ground next to Chanyeol’s bed and sure enough, there was a few toys littered on the ground, some crayons, and  a really pretty book that Jongdae had never seen before.

“What’s this?” Jongdae muttered to himself as he grabbed the plain looking book and opened it up, only to find that it was a journal, not a book.

I wonder if she remembers me. Or if I had a little brother or a little sister.

Jongdae sounded out slowly. Joonmyun had been teaching all the pups to read over the past few years, but with so many of them and only one person teaching, not all of them were great readers like Kyungsoo. And Jongdae was one of the ones who still struggled with reading. Plus, the pup always felt like he had too much energy to sit down and stare at a paper for a prolonged period of time.

The pup stopped reading for a moment to try and figure out who Chanyeol could have been talking about. He has four little brothers, why was he asking if he had a sister?

As always with the pup, his curiosity got the better of him and he kept reading.

I wonder if I would be happy if I still lived at home. Maybe with a new baby Umma would be happy again. She really didn’t like me, but maybe now she misses me. When I lived there, I really thought she hated me. Does Appa miss me too? I miss him a lot, but my new appas are even more nice than he was. They are the nicest most-

“What are you doing?” a sudden screech had Jongdae looking up from the journal he was reading. He hadn’t got very far, but he kind of felt like he had been reading for hours.

So, he simply replied, “Reading. Why would your Umma not like you?”

Chanyeol charged over to the boy on his bed and yanked the notebook hard before roughly pushing Jongdae away, sending the smaller boy over the far side of the bed. “This is mine! Who said you could read my journal? What is wrong with you?”

Jongdae’s head poked up from the other side of the bed, eyes filled with tears. “Why are you yelling-“

“I’m yelling because you went through my stuff! Why do you think I changed rooms? Because you were always going through my stuff!” Chanyeol’s shouts then turned to a low growl, “You’re such a brat! No wonder your parents left you to die.”

“What?” Jongdae went uncharacteristically quiet.

“They lied to you Jongdae.” Chanyeol’s voice stayed low, “They found you nearly dead in the woods because your Umma hated you. At least my Umma liked me enough to give me to Appa and Baba! Your Umma left you to die. Maybe you should ask why your Umma hates you!”

Slowly, Jongdae left the room. He even managed to shut the door behind him before what Chanyeol said really started to sink in.

He remembered what an Umma was from the time they met Kyungsoo’s and the one time Minseok’s Umma came to visit. They were the people who gave birth to little pups. And according to Luhan, some Ummas just didn’t have the money, time, or resources to give a baby all the love they need. Luhan had said that’s why Jongdae’s Umma gave him to Baba and Appa.

But Chanyeol wouldn’t make something so horrible up, would he? He did seem pretty mad that Jongdae had read his journal. But just the way he said it made Jongdae believe that it was true.

“Hey Jongdae, have you seen Chanyeol?” Kris emerged from the staircase just in front of him.

Jongdae didn’t vocally respond, he just pointed to the room behind him before scurrying into the door on his left that led towards the room he shared with Baekhyun. He didn’t want to talk to his Baba at the moment, he just needed a moment to think about what Chanyeol had just said.

Had his Umma really wanted him to die? Was he that bad as a puppy that she knew right away she didn’t want him? Or maybe it was the strange color of his fur. Most of the other pups were brown, white, red, black, or a variation of those colors. The only one who came close to his own color was Luhan’s strawberry blond fur, but when they met other people, they were constantly praising Luhan for his color. Jongdae had never been adored for being a bright orange ball of fluff.

Or maybe it was because he was little? But lots of his brothers were little too, but none of them had been left out to die.

Then he remembered Kyungsoo coming to them as a battered and bruised little boy who was afraid to shift into a wolf.

But then he remembered that Kyungsoo’s Umma was the one to bring him to Kris and Joonmyun for a better life. She must have done that because she loved him.

Why hadn’t his own mom loved him?

Meanwhile, in the room next door, Chanyeol felt the worst pain in the pit of his stomach. It felt like someone had stuffed him full of rocks and then swung his body around to make him want to throw up.

He hadn’t meant to be so harsh with Jongdae. He knew after years of living with the other pup that he was curious about everything in the world and never meant bad while trying to investigate something. But Chanyeol was having a rough day.

It all started when he was woken up before the sun even rose by a bad dream. He was tempted to climb into bed with one of his brothers, but they weren’t like Jongdae and Baekhyun who’d cuddle anything that moved. His two roommates were more selective in how they physically showed affection and cuddling through the night wasn’t one.

So, he stayed in his own cold bed trying to go back to sleep, but when he did he kept seeing shadows in his dreams that had him surging awake only seconds after he closed his eyes. And from there, everything seemed to spiral downhill.

He spilled his milk at breakfast all over his favorite shirt. Then after he changed, he got back to the table only to find that Baekhyun had eaten all of his bacon. Not like it would have mattered though because when he went to climb onto his chair, his elbow hit his plate and all his food ended up on the floor.

Then when he went out to play with everyone, he kept losing all the games they played. He tripped over tree roots, skinned his knee falling down, and he even got dirt in his eye when trying to look for bugs. It was pretty much like everything that could go wrong in his day was going horribly wrong.

When he saw his brother going through his very private journal that he started to get haunting thoughts of his biological family out of his head, he took all his anger and frustration out on the one person in front of him. He didn’t even know why he brought up the poor pup’s parents. Maybe because he knew the journal in Jongdae’s hands was filled with all the doubts that his own mother filled his head with back when he lived with them and that was personal. It was something no one else knew he felt – well except for Joonmyun who gave him the journal as a gift not too long after he arrived.

“Chanyeol, are you okay?” Kris lightly knocked on the door before coming inside. “Oh, are you having journal time right now?”

Okay, maybe Joonmyun had told Kris about his private journal, but it wasn’t like the adults knew what the eight year old had written.

“Do you want me to give you some time to write?” Kris tried smiling softly at the boy before retreating from the room before he even got an answer. When Joonmyun told him about the journal, Kris thought Chanyeol would get bored of it quickly. But it seemed like the boy really felt relieved when writing. So without a second thought, he went back downstairs to check on the rest of the pups.

For the rest of the day, both pups stayed uncharacteristically quiet. Note even Baekhyun could bring either one out of their shell. Chanyeol was constantly sending apologetic looks to Jongdae, but the slightly older pup never saw. He was too busy staring into space, eyes not focusing on a single thing as his mind ran wild.

“Do you think they got into a fight or something?” Kris asked his mate late that night once all the pups were in bed. Of course the two adults in the house noticed the sudden change in their pups, but if it was something between the two, they didn’t want to get in the way of things naturally working out.

Joonmyun shrugged, “I can’t imagine. You know Chanyeol is a little firecracker. Plus, he didn’t seem to be having the next day. I’m sure tomorrow everything will be back to normal.”

“Probably,” Kris smiled before climbing into bed with the smaller man.

But the next morning, things weren’t any better. If anything, they seemed to be worse. Both Chanyeol and Jongdae looked like they hadn’t slept with dark bags under their eyes and Chanyeol seemed to be snapping at anyone who talked to him while Jongdae hadn’t even said a word.

Well, not until just after lunch when he found Joonmyun relaxing on the couch. “Appa, do you hate me?”

“What?” Joonmyun, who had just started to read, dropped his book on the floor. Usually he had more care for his books, but he hadn’t been expecting that to come from his little orange fur ball. “Of course not. I love you Jongdae, everyone here loves you. Why would you even have to ask a question like that?”

“My Umma hated me.” Tears began to streak down the poor boy’s cheeks. “Umma wanted me to die. Umma left me outside to die.”

“Kris! Luhan! Get in here!” Joonmyun felt an uncontrollable rage building the pit of his stomach as he carefully pulled Jongdae into his arms. He held the eight year old close and kissed his forehead as the two people he called for ran into the room.

“What’s going on?” Kris ran over to his mate and ran his fingers through Jongdae’s hair. “Why are you crying Dae?”

“Someone told him how he was found.” Joonmyun stared at Kris to gauge his reaction. When he didn’t see a flicker of guilt on his mate’s face, he turned his attention towards Luhan. “Now I’m not saying you did it Luhan, but do you know who told Jongdae?”

Luhan shook his head. “Sorry Appa, I don’t know. I can go ask everyone.”

“No, that’s okay. But thank you Luhan,” Suddenly, the dots seemed to connect in Kris’ mind. “I’m pretty sure I know who did this.”

The taller alpha took off from the room. He quietly went up the stairs to the closest door and opened it without knocking. “Chanyeol, we need to talk.”

“It was an accident!” The lanky eight year old’s guilt took over and tears seemed to trail from his eyes. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Can you at least tell me what happened?” Kris was trying his best to stay calm, but he was always a bit rash, especially when it came to his pups. And yes Chanyeol was his pup who he loved with all his heart, but Chanyeol had made one of his other pups cry. It was an awkward place to be at, but he knew he had to hear from both sides before being acting out.

Chanyeol curled up on his bed, holding his journal close to his chest. “He was looking through my journal. He asked about my Umma and why she didn’t like me. I got mad. I got really mad.”

Kris sighed, walking deeper into the room so that he could sit on the bed next to his pup, “Jongdae shouldn’t have read your journal. I’m going to make him apologize to you. But that’s still no excuse for what you did to him. A lot of you boys came here through bad circumstances, but that doesn’t mean we love you any less. We don’t know if Jongdae’s parents left him there or if he got lost or if his biological parents died. All we know is that we love him, just as much as your other brothers and you.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Chanyeol’s tears stopped, but he still had a pout on his face, “I was just mad and it came out before I could stop it. I told him his Umma hated him and that she wanted him to die.”

“Okay, let’s go see how your brother is doing.” Kris stood up and held his hand out to Chanyeol.

The eight year old put his much smaller hand in his father’s and let the alpha lead him out of his room and down the stairs. They walked over to the living room and found Joonmyun sitting on the couch with a sleeping Jongdae on his lap.

“I found the culprit.” Kris sat Chanyeol down next to his other dad. “Jongdae read his journal. He got upset.”

But Joonmyun didn’t seem to be paying attention. He was staring off into the space in front of him with tears in his eyes.

“Myun?” Kris kneeled in front of his mate, making the smaller jump in surprise.

“I didn’t want him to find out like this.” Joonmyun admitted. “I wanted to wait until he was older. He kept asking me if we wanted him to die too, Kris. He asked why his Umma hated him. I didn’t know what to say.”

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol tugged on his father’s arm. “I got mad. I’m sorry Appa!”

“You’re okay.” Joonmyun placed a kiss on top of the boy’s head. “Pups fight, I know this. But Chanyeol, words can hurt people more than you’ll ever know. You have to be more careful in the future with what you say.”

“I will.” Chanyeol rested against his father and yawned. “I promise, Appa.”

“Good. Thank you.” Joonmyun wrapped an arm around Chanyeol and pulled him into his lap so that he could cuddle in next to Jongdae. “Come on, let’s just stay here for a little while.”

Chanyeol gladly curled up next to his brother and let himself drift off to sleep. It was still a bit fitful, but taking a nap with one of his dads and any of his brothers always made everything better.

It felt like almost as soon as he closed his eyes, a crash woke him up. He looked around and found himself still on Joonmyun’s lap, but Jongdae was nowhere to be found.

The orange pup was actually in the other room on the counter – something his dads always told him not to do – trying to grab a cup since he was thirsty. But as he tried to climb down with it, he slipped and came crashing down. Luckily, the cup was flung out of his hand so he didn’t injure himself. But the cup did shatter on the other side of the kitchen, causing a loud crash to echo in the house.

“I’m sorry!” Jongdae’s eyes widened when he saw Kris run into the room. “It was an accident!”

Kris sighed as he lifted the pup away from the pile of glass on the floor. “Why didn’t you come ask for help? You know you’re not supposed to climb on the counter.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again!” Jongdae seemed more frantic than usual. “I promise, please don’t leave me out to die!”

Kris froze. He couldn’t imagine what was running through the eight year old’s mind, but hearing something so tragic come out of the boy’s mouth made Kris want to cry. Instead, he placed a kiss on the boy’s forehead and carried him outside. The cold night air would do them both good.

However, Jongdae saw getting carried outside as something completely different and began to freak out even more. “I’m really sorry Baba! Please don’t leave me outside! I’ll be good! I promise!”

“I’m not going to leave you outside.” Kris walked over to his favorite chair on the porch and sat down. He shifted Jongdae into a more comfortable position and held him close, “No one is ever going to leave you outside again, I made that promise to myself eight years ago when we found you. Just relax.”

Once his father was settled in the chair, Jongdae let himself relax. He rested his head against his father’s chest and let out a heavy breath, “I promise I’ll be good, Baba.”

“I hope so, we’ve raised you to be good.” Kris chuckled and ruffled his son’s hair, “But you know, sometimes we’re bad. We don’t do it on purpose, but it happens because we’re not thinking or because we’re too curious. But that’s okay Jongdae, your Appa and I won’t love you any less. You’ll always be our pup.”

“So you’re not gonna leave me outside?”

“Never.” Kris leaned down to place a kiss on his pup’s forehead. “You know, one day when you’re big and you find a mate, you’re going to wanna move out from here so you can start your own family. But even then, we’re not gonna want to let you go. We’re gonna do our best to keep you were forever because we love you, we love all of you. Nothing in this world could make us give you up.”

The small eight year old looked up at his father with the most serious look on his face that Kris had seen throughout Jongdae’s entire life, “Then why did my Umma leave me?”

“I don’t know Jongdae.” Kris admitted with a sigh, “But can I tell you a secret? I’m kind of really happy she did because I can’t imagine my life without you. Back when we found you, I was unbelievably mad that someone could leave such a small pup out in the forest, but I was also unbelievably happy because when I first saw you, I knew you were meant to be my pup. And Jongdae, I’ve loved you for every second since we found you. Your Appa has too.”

“It’s true.” Joonmyun’s soothing voice came out of nowhere as the shorter alpha walked out into the backyard with an eight year old in his arms. “We love you Jongdae, and nothing you do can change that. Just like how we feel about all of your brothers.”

“I love you too, Jongdae.” Chanyeol squirmed his way out of Joonmyun’s arms to run up to his brother. “I’m sorry I said what I said. Your parents love you Dae because Appa and Baba are your parents. And I didn’t mean to yell at you, I was just mad you went through my journal and-“

“I’m sorry.” Jongdae cut him off, unable to make eye contact with his slightly younger brother. “I was just curious. I promise I won’t go through your stuff again. I just miss having you around.”

Chanyeol pushed Kris’ arms away from his brother and wrapped his own lanky arms around the littler pup, “I’m sorry too Dae. I had a bad day. I didn’t mean anything I said. I didn’t want to be in a different room, but your room doesn’t fit three beds. I miss you too Dae.”

“You don’t need your own bed.” Jongdae squirmed until he was free of Kris’ arms. “Come on! You can sleep in my bed tonight.”

After the two ran back inside, Joonmyun collapsed onto the taller alpha’s lap with a heavy sigh, “How many more times do you think we’ll need to go through that? Jongin and Sehun still don’t know how they got here, and sometimes I don’t think Kyungsoo remembers what led to him being here either.”

“Hopefully this is the only time this’ll happen.” Kris wrapped his long arms around his mate. “As long as the older pups don’t go crazy and let it slip.”

“They’re good pups. I don’t think we have too much to worry about.”