What will you do when your OTP is broken?
I know, the title sounds really childish. Let me explain myself. :(
I make fanworks based on this OTP I ship, we can call them A x B. Today, I found rumours of A dating someone, which were debunked later. For a moment I was kind of stunned and I didn't know what to do. I have this policy where if either A or B are dating someone else, I will stop producing fanworks for this OTP because I find it disrespectful. To others, it's not, and I completely accept that. It's just to me, personally, the idea of writing for an OTP where one person is dating or married to another doesn't sit well to me. I have no problem with others continuing.
Here's where my existential crisis set in. For the past 6 years, my life has revolved around my OTP. Sure, I hang out with friends, I study hard, and I have hobbies besides writing. But everyday, I think about what I want to write about my OTP and what fic I'd like to work on. Everyday, I make sure to clock at least an hour of writing for my fics. I've learnt things like video and graphics editing to make fanvids and fanart for my OTP. I always think about new ideas to write, draw and contribute to my OTP's fandom. I get a thrill from planning out stories about my OTP, of how people in my fandom may enjoy my fanwork and we can bond over our OTP.
It's silly, but the thought of suddenly having to stop everything because my OTP was broken knocked the wind out of me. In a moment, suddenly, all the things I've done seem so trivial and futile, and it made me wonder what I was doing with my life. I couldn't use any of my fanworks as a portfolio for a resume. My skills have never been certified and neither am I interested in making things without the thought of my OTP. Suddenly, all the time and effort I've been dedicating towards 1 OTP seemed like such a stupid decision as I now had nothing.
In no way am I saying that my biases should never marry anyone else besides each other; neither do I want to change my policy about where I draw the line. It just shocked me how easily I could lose everything I've been doing. And I'm wondering if anyone has been in the same situation where you've been making so many fanworks and suddenly your reason for doing it is all gone. It doesn't have to be due to an OTP. It could be due to a disbandment, a member leaving, etc.
What would you do in my case?
I make fanworks based on this OTP I ship, we can call them A x B. Today, I found rumours of A dating someone, which were debunked later. For a moment I was kind of stunned and I didn't know what to do. I have this policy where if either A or B are dating someone else, I will stop producing fanworks for this OTP because I find it disrespectful. To others, it's not, and I completely accept that. It's just to me, personally, the idea of writing for an OTP where one person is dating or married to another doesn't sit well to me. I have no problem with others continuing.
Here's where my existential crisis set in. For the past 6 years, my life has revolved around my OTP. Sure, I hang out with friends, I study hard, and I have hobbies besides writing. But everyday, I think about what I want to write about my OTP and what fic I'd like to work on. Everyday, I make sure to clock at least an hour of writing for my fics. I've learnt things like video and graphics editing to make fanvids and fanart for my OTP. I always think about new ideas to write, draw and contribute to my OTP's fandom. I get a thrill from planning out stories about my OTP, of how people in my fandom may enjoy my fanwork and we can bond over our OTP.
It's silly, but the thought of suddenly having to stop everything because my OTP was broken knocked the wind out of me. In a moment, suddenly, all the things I've done seem so trivial and futile, and it made me wonder what I was doing with my life. I couldn't use any of my fanworks as a portfolio for a resume. My skills have never been certified and neither am I interested in making things without the thought of my OTP. Suddenly, all the time and effort I've been dedicating towards 1 OTP seemed like such a stupid decision as I now had nothing.
In no way am I saying that my biases should never marry anyone else besides each other; neither do I want to change my policy about where I draw the line. It just shocked me how easily I could lose everything I've been doing. And I'm wondering if anyone has been in the same situation where you've been making so many fanworks and suddenly your reason for doing it is all gone. It doesn't have to be due to an OTP. It could be due to a disbandment, a member leaving, etc.
What would you do in my case?