" Hey ,  Byunghun. We are going out to celebrate the newcomer accepted  in our department ."

Said one employee as he patted the other's shoulder.   He had rich brown neck-length hair and luscious  pair of lips  .

 

" Um. Sorry ,  Daniel. I still got some work to do. I have to make sure everything is typed correctly. "

Replied Byunghun  , eyes glued to the  computer screen as he observed the order they would be sending to the supplier.

 

Daniel rolled his eyes because he knew that was a cheap excuse the elder was using .

 

" You have been staring at this order over the past few minutes and nothing is wrong !!  "

Exclaimed the younger ,  retreating his hands .

 

Daniel  wasn't annoying ,  he just wanted Byunghun to get some fresh air.

They were friends before being  fellow-employees after all .

 

When Byunghun had no words to defend himself ,   another one came to the scene.

 

" Come on ,  Byunghun !  Everyone is going. It's bad enough you had to take the day off but didn't.  Look at you !  You lost all the weight you didn't even have ! " Insisted jonghyun ,  another tall employee and even though he was the youngest out of them , he was also the wisest.

 

Byunghun took off his reading glasses and sighed looking elsewhere , that made Niel perk his lips to the side in annoyance.

Byunghun was just too stubborn.

 

And Niel knew that.

 

" Just give up ,   jonghyun. Let him be.

We can't really force him after all. "

Whispered Niel , trying his best to persuade the younger who clearly still  felt frustrated but couldn't argue with Niel.

 

Byunghun sent a " Thank you " look to Niel for saving him the pain.

 

Convincing jonghyun is never an easy job. Especially since both ,  Byunghun and jonghyun were thick headed beyond words.

 

But Niel didn't smile back ,  he only replied with a disappointed look of his own.

 

One by one , the open - office space grew quite , devoid of people except for Byunghun . He could hear no more heels clicking against the floor tiles , no more chairs creaking .. Nothing .. Just silence engulfing him .

 

Staying overtime , slipping opportunities to take the day off ,  they were all meant to be some sort of a distraction.

 

Even now .. when Byunghun reached his apartment building , he could have used the elevator but he didn't.

 

He decided otherwise .

 

Taking the stairs seemed more appealing for some reason. And that should be..

He wanted to exhaust himself so much that when he finally reaches his apartment ,   he would go straight to sleep.

 

No more thinking ,  no more stress. Nothing.

 

He wanted to feel nothing..

For once ,   he wanted to be able to sleep.

 

Without thoughts haunting him.

 

Once he reached his doorstep , he was trudging  and panting heavily , gripping his blazer with shaking hands .

 

On unsteady legs ,  he made his way inside frowning at the gloomy apartment awaiting.

 

Turning on the faint lights just about the entrance , Byunghun's frail legs barely supported his frame even though it was equally fragile .

 

He had tottered his way to the couch and flopped down on it then sprawled himself as he loosened the tie around his neck , his eyes felt heavy.

 

Blink .

 

Blink ..

 

Darkness .

 

 

 

Silence .

 

 

 

Vibration * ring ring *

 

The sudden noise made him Jerk awake and frantically fish his cell phone out of his pocket , heart beating erratically fast .

 

" Hello ? " He gasped it out .

 

“ Byunghun ? Did you arrive ? Have you eaten ? “  Asked Jonghyun over the phone as Byunghun massaged his forehead ..

 

Why did the younger have to act all concerned ? It made him feel guilty and indebted ..

 

“ yea , jonghyun ah . I just got home and was about to make me something to eat .. Thanks for asking . “

 

He wasn’t really planning to cook anything or even check the fridge but he wasn’t in the mood for such conversation .

 

“ Oh . Ok . We are having fun and I honestly wish you were here with us , Niel feels the same as well . “

 

A weak but heartfelt smile crept its way to Byunghun’s lips as he heard that ..

 

His friends were out , partying , all busy and occupied but still had him in mind .. They truly cared .

 

Even though he gave them nothing but tension .. Even though he was being negative and distant .

 

If anything , he would  try hanging out with them the next time ..

 

“ Thanks buddies , Just enjoy it ! “  Exclaimed Byunghun before he heard chuckling over the phone .

 

“ Yea . ok hyung . Take care of yourself , alright ? “

 

“ Alright . “

 

With that , they ended the call , jonghyun going back to the party whilst Byunghun back to darkness .

 

Oh baby , everyone but me looks happy.

Everyone but me is having fun oh no .

 

The following day was gonna be a long one .. since it was weekend .

 

Byunghun sighed deeply at such thought , willing himself to get up .

 

He had to at least make it to his bed ..

 

Next morning :

 

Like any other day , The sun kissed every inch of earth  gracefully offering its rays  , birds chirped and wind softly blew .

 

Surprisingly , his eyes and mind seemed to need more sleep unlike his body that was aching badly , he felt his back nearly splitting into two because of how long he had been sleeping .

 

Tossing to the side , he tried forcing one eye open but it terribly stung so he gave up on waking up .

 

And even though his eyes were closed , mind practically blank , his other senses were awake .

 

Occasionally , he would hear his own  soft breathing as his hand dangled about the edge of the bed .

 

The once humble apartment now felt fancy .. Too big for him to occupy  alone .

 

He had spent too much time in silence that he has come to notice even the slightest creak in the fan that was softly spinning , producing  light   air every once in a while   .

 

Too much time in silence that he had come to deem it foreign when he would laugh every once in a while ..

He couldn’t recognize it . It felt forced and fake .

 

He would also hear his neighbors' dog barking ..

 

He would hear sounds he never really noticed when the elder was still living there .. With him .

 

Because them being together had him preoccupied ..

 

His stomach was growling , begging to be fed but he felt drained and lazy ..

 

No .

 

 

Seriously !

 

He was hungry . Perhaps , starving would be the right word .

 

He was starving to the point he felt like throwing up .. And started feeling a pain throbbing in his head .

 

But the bed engulfing his body in comfortable warmth was  almost serenading , tempting him to sleep some more  .

 

Too much for breaking up and staying healthy ..

 

Did they break up though ?

 

The idea of labeling their relationship was long lost in the sea and as the saying goes .

 

[ You don’t expect what the sea has taken to come back .. And if it ever did , it won’t be the same . ]

 

Well , that wasn't exactly a saying because Byunghun just made it up .

 

They slept on unspoken words .. Too scared to publicly announce it but everything was falling apart any ways .

 

What’s it good for now ?

 

* Ring * Ring *

 

What was that ringing ?

 

 

Maybe it was part of his dream ..

 

Wait .. When did he even fall asleep ?

 

Sighing deeply , he threw his hand on his face covering his eyes and oh it felt so good .

 

It was blocking the annoyingly bright  sunlight .

 

 

Ring * Ring *

 

 

He moves his hands away ,  eyes lazily opening as he stared at the ceiling for few seconds before he willed his body off the bed and reached for the source of the sound  and blindly swiped his finger about his phone .

 

“ .. Hello  ?   “

 

He answered , soon recognizing the person on the other line. His mother .

 

She wanted to fix a time when they would meet .

 

It has been a long time since he last saw her .

 

She was somehow linked to the idea of

“ Parents “ which reminded him of his father and that didn’t make him feel thrilled .

 

He would have to dedicate some time for her later on .. but for now , he needed to Lay down and do nothing.

 

~ ♦ ~

 

 

He was finally there , in the cafe where he would be meeting his mother who he had soon enough noticed , sitting in a distant table . She was dressed elegantly and classy , her diamond necklace shining brightly making other women look dull if compared to her . That was his mother and that was his truth . The truth he couldn't change . The Wealthy background haunting him.

 

He his lips , encouraging himself and made his way there .

 

Once greetings were exchanged , momentary silence filled the atmosphere before his mother cleared signaling the start of their talk .

 

“ Byunghun , you are in this point in your life wher- “

 

“ Your decisions will either make it or break it . “ Completed Byunghun , swaying his head sarcastically but then realized how childish and disrespectful he was being .

 

He felt guilty and apologetic especially when he saw how his mother blinked lowering her gaze as she traced the brim of her cup nervously .

 

Sighing , he tapped his feet few seconds before he willed himself to apologize .

 

She was here , probably without her husband’s knowledge . She was going out of her way to be there for him even though she wasn’t exactly for his relationship with Chanhee  .

 

“ I’m sorry .. “ He whispered .

 

She nodded sadly making him frown ..

 

Looks like they would be leading that kind of conversation  .

 

“ Your husband insulted me when he interfered in my life like I was nothing but a child !  “

He had to engrave it in her mind that it was all because of that man .

 

In an instant , she raised her head looking at him with extreme sorrow .

He knew what she wanted to say . That man is your father .

 

But she held it in and instead reached forward , taking his hands in hers , caressing them before smiling at him .

 

“ Son , I want you to know that no matter what , I will be supporting you . “

 

As in , whether you get back with Chanhee or not .

 

The time with his mother soon flew by and he found himself wandering in a deserted alleyway .

 

A lone tear rolled past his cheeks as he bitterly smiled ..

 

Why Chanhee ? Why did you have to leave ?

 

I was ready to fight everyone including my parents to be with you ..

 

 

 

As if everything has stopped , this alleyway is filled with darkness

My poor heart after you left me gets cut even by the passing wind

When will this cruel longing end ?

I shouldn’t have met you , I can’t shake off your beauty

A flower that lost its scent , it’s like me who has lost you

What use is it to regret ? you’re gone .

 

~ ♦ ~

 

The moment he got back home , his mood had gone from bad to worse ..

 

His talk with his mum - as much as it had warmed him up a little - it had opened some scars .

 

All of his scars actually .

 

He threw himself on the bed , lazily wandering his eyes about his ro