myungsoo liked to sit next to woohyun, ask if he could have a peek at his notes, ask if he could borrow a pen when he forgot his own, ask what woohyun was going to do later after the lectures.

myungsoo liked to put his hand on woohyun’s back when they walked next to each other.

myungsoo liked to make long eye-contact with woohyun, until woohyun could feel his cheeks heat up and he had to look away. woohyun remembers seeing myungsoo’s smile, almost a smile of victory — woohyun remembers smiling himself.

woohyun liked to think myungsoo had something going on for him. woohyun played with the idea of dating myungsoo, but he kept it to himself — at least until how he realised how myungsoo kept insisting on holding his hand, intertwining their fingers and smiling at woohyun.

woohyun remembers how his heart skipped a beat, how he didn’t expect that to happen. myungsoo, liking him, of all people? of all people. there’s probably more than thousand students at the university but myungsoo had his eyes on him.

woohyun remembers how impossible it felt (how impossible it still is) that myungsoo would like him, have feelings for him. woohyun remembers how the hair on the back of his neck stood up as myungsoo leaned in to whisper something in his ear. it was a compliment — a ”you look really good today” and woohyun fed off that compliment for days. he remembers that thinking of it, it would cheer him up but now, now it doesn’t. it brings him down, pushes him into a corner and forces him down.

he remembers when he asked myungsoo out. it was barely anyone in the canteen, it was just them and some professors at the other side.

picking at his food, he tried to force the words out, because he knew he would probably regret it if he didn’t ask — but he regretted it right after hearing myungsoo’s answer.

”would… would.. you.. you like to go out on a date with me?” he made sure to specify with him. he had asked, his voice lower than he originally wanted to, his cheeks felt burning hot and he struggled with making eye contact.

”ah, sure” played over his mind repeatedly until the day of the date. the smile he got wasn’t a myungsoo smile, it was nothing like myungsoo and woohyun wondered if the feelings he assumed he had for him were gone. was he too late?

he was too late, clearly. it was obvious how late he was. why would myungsoo say yes to a date if he was late?

after their supposed date, myungsoo didn’t smile at him the way he would before, myungsoo didn’t compliment him, myungsoo didn’t take his hand into his. myungsoo didn’t sit next to him anymore. suji replaced him.

woohyun figured he didn’t need much more to understand he was only being played with.