“You gotta get with my friends”

“Your friends seem cool.”

“Hm.”

“I gotta ask though. I mean, I don’t want to sound like a jerk—“

Then don’t be a jerk …

“But is Heechul really a guy? Is he like … androgynous? Hermaphrodite?”

Donghae’s lips pull into a snarl and his hand clenches into a fist under the table. He’s ready to punch the guy any second now.

He can’t recall what exactly had been in his mind when he accepted to date Kyuhyun. Maybe he felt lonely. Maybe he got sick of being the only single one in his group of friends. Besides, Kyuhyun is good-looking. He’s pretty popular too. He has the reputation of being painfully blunt and lacking the romantic bone, but when he asked Donghae out, Donghae thought “Why the heck not?” and said yes. Kyuhyun’s high grades and extensive knowledge of school related stuff might have played a role too (not that Donghae planned on making him do his homework or anything; nope, not at all).

They’ve been on a few dates and while they weren’t the best dates Donghae had ever been on, they weren’t the worst either. So they kept dating until Donghae got bored of so much dating and decided to put Kyuhyun through the ultimate test: meeting his friends.

Needless to say, it’s not going quite like Donghae imagined.

“And I remember you telling me Ryeowook looks younger than he is, but I think that was an understatement. He looks like a middle-schooler. Makes Jiwon look like his baby sitter instead of his girlfriend.” Kyuhyun laughs at his own joke and then looks expectantly at Donghae.

“That’s not funny,” he says, his best poker face on.

“Woah! What’s Siwon doing with two girls at a time?”

“He believes in polygamy.”

“That’s stupid. He’s practically cheating on them with the other.”

Donghae thanks the heavens his friends scattered through the club so that no one can hear the coming out of Kyuhyun’s mouth. Heechul would probably plant the guy’s head on the table. Repeatedly. Until he bled.

As he shuts his ears to his date’s voice, Donghae scans the room, searching for something to keep him entertained. His eyes land on Hyukjae, a few tables away from him, chatting with his own date.

Why can’t Kyuhyun be like his classmate? Hyukjae never said a word about Heechul’s long hair or the make-up his friend is always wearing; he complimented him instead, admiring his courage to defy the norm and telling him the look suits him. Hyukjae never made fun of Ryeowook; he said Donghae’s petit friend is cute and adorable, and that when everyone else is going to be old and wrinkly, Ryeowook would still look like in his late thirties. Hyukjae never insulted Siwon for his choice; he admitted he doesn’t quite understand how it works, but he respected Donghae’s friend, like a decent human being.

Hyukjae has gotten along with all of Donghae’s friends since they first met. Why can’t the next to him do the same?

As if sensing Donghae’s intense stare, Hyukjae turns his head towards him. The blond smiles and waves at him. His eyes then point at Kyuhyun. Donghae gets the silent question.

How’s it going?

Donghae makes a cutting gesture to his throat.

Get me out of here!

Hyukjae laughs. Donghae watches in fascination how his eyes crinkle and his gums peek from behind his lips.

“That’s Hyukjae, right? Your classmate?” Kyuhyun asks.

“Yeah.”

“Kind of a loser if you ask me. That girl is totally ready to go and yet he sits there like a .”

Donghae finally punches him.

“Make it last forever, friendship never ends.”

Rain trickles down the windows, captivating Donghae more than whatever the professor is saying. Being in the first year of college, he usually concentrates all his attention on the lecture, but today he doesn’t feel like doing anything. He had a fight with Leeteuk and that’s all he can think about; he consummates his energy on being angry at the elder. The rain matches his mood.

“Are you all right?” Hyukjae asks as soon as the professor it out of the room.

Donghae sighs, debating on whether he should pour his heart out to Hyukjae or not. The blond might not even care, he probably has his own issues. “Not really.”

Hyukjae gives him a sympathetic smile. “We have an hour until the next lecture. You can tell me over lunch if you want to.”

Ten minutes later, Donghae is playing with his food while telling Hyukjae about the fight with his best friend. The blond ignores his own food in favour of listening to him. The canteen is buzzing around them, students coming and going, and Donghae wishes no one will sit with them.

“It’s just unfair, you know,” he says. “He always hangs out with people that are not me, but I cancel our plans once and suddenly it’s not okay.”

“Maybe he felt less important in your eyes. You two haven’t seen each other in months and now that he finally had some free time, you chose to hang out with someone else.”

“It’s not my fault I had other plans! I’m not a mind reader!”

“Of course not,” Hyukjae coaxes him. Suddenly, Donghae feels like a brat. “But you could’ve invited him along. What were your other plans anyway?”

Hanging out with you. And I wanted to hang out only with you.

“Just … meeting someone else …”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“We screamed at each other through the phone, yes.”

“No.” The blond chuckles, flicking Donghae’s nose. “I meant, talk about your feelings. Make up.”

Donghae pushes away Hyukjae’s hand and groans softly. “We’re too busy ignoring each other for that.”

“Come on, Donghae. You said you know this guy since you were five. Are you really going to let go of him because of miscommunication?”

“No … I guess not. Thanks, Hyukjae. You just saved my 14 years long friendship.”

“I’m always here if you need me.”

“If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give.”

Valentine’s Day passes like any other day for Donghae. He’s disappointed and furious. He expected Hanbin, the guy he’s currently dating, to at least take him on a walk in the park and give him a small package of chocolates if anything else is too much to ask.

"Did you, by any chance, forget yesterday was Valentine's Day?" he asks when they talk the next day. He hopes for a yes. He can forgive that. It happens.

"How could I?" Hanbin answers, irritation clear in his voice. "It's everywhere!"

"So?"

"So what?"

"You didn't say anything about it!"

"What's the big deal? It's not like we're boyfriends."

Well you too then.

"Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is."

On Monday morning, Donghae meets Hyukjae in front of the university. The blond is wrapped in a tight, fluffy coat and a thick scarf is covering half of his face. He's holding a gift bag. With snow slowly falling in the background, Donghae thinks Hyukjae looks freshly out of a sappy anime. He tries to convince himself he's not envious of the person that will receive the blond's gift; it doesn't really work.

Honestly, Donghae can't tell what came over him. He never considered Hyukjae a potential romantic interest. Sure, he finds his classmate handsome and attractive, but he never thought there could be anything more than a platonic relationship between them.

So why is he now?

He thinks about it as he crosses the street. He stops thinking altogether when he gets close to Hyukjae.

"Hey," he says. He hopes he doesn't sound awkward.

Hyukjae greets him back with a grin. "This is for you." He pushes the gift bag to Donghae, who takes it with shaky hands.

"What's the occasion?"

"Belated Valentine's Day."

Donghae's eyes go wide and he holds his breath, waiting for something like "nah, just kidding" or "no homo" or at least an "i love you, bro" to make it less suggestive. Hyukjae stays silent though.

"But ..." he stammers. "I m-mean, we're n-not ..."

Hyukjae shoves his hands in his pockets, pulling at his coat. "Do we have to be?" His cheeks are red now and Donghae wonders if it's from the cold or something else. "It's just a box of chocolates, Donghae. I'm not proposing to you ..."

Yeah, what's the big deal? Ryeowook gives chocolates to his close friends on Valentine's Day every year. Donghae never questioned him. Why is he questioning Hyukjae now?

Feeling a little bold, Donghae steps into Hyukjae's personal space with a racing heart. I'm just paying him back, he thinks as he kisses the blond's cheek. When he pulls back, he quickly looks away, but does not miss the flustered smile on Hyukjae's face.

Donghae wonders if Hyukjae felt the butterflies as well.

"If you want my future, forget my past."

"I'm gonna die."

"You'll be fine, you drama queen. What, is this the first time you ask a girl out?"

"It actually is. It's usually them who come to me."

Donghae finally screw up his courage and decided to ask Jessica out. He's been crushing on the pretty, half-Korean student for a while now. They only have two or three lectures together, but they got along pretty fast. Donghae has been drawn to her intelligence and sense of humour. It's been some time since he'd been into a girl and he doesn't want to screw this up.

Luckily, Hyukjae is there to keep him together.

"Go before she leaves," the blond says, pushing him towards the girl.

Donghae turns around and grips his arm. "Will you wait for me?"

Hyukjae's smile falters. He shifts his gaze, biting his lip. Donghae hopes he just imagines the sadness on the blond's face. "Sure." Hyukjae nods. The smile is back on his face, but it's considerably dimmer. "I'll be outside."

Donghae takes a deep breath and approaches Jessica, who is talking to two of their fellow colleagues.

"Jessica?"

"Oh, hey, Donghae! What's up?" Her brilliant smile gives him courage.

"Would you go on a date with me?"

There. He said it. No turning back now.

Jessica gasps. "Donghae," she says, her voice soft and gentle, and full of pity. Donghae gets the hint. "Look, you're very nice and I like you a lot."

No need to say that if you're going to break my heart.

"Do you remember that time when we shared our dating history?"

What does that have to do with anything? he thinks, but mutters a "yes" nonetheless.

"Well," Jessica says, searching for the right words. "Your list is quite ... extensive. I don't know, I just ... I'm looking for someone who doesn't change partners so often. I'm really sorry-"

"I get it." Donghae spares the both of them by walking away.

Hyukjae is waiting outside the classroom, as promised. When he sees Donghae coming out with tears in his eyes, he pulls him in his arms without a word. When Donghae starts sobbing on his shoulder, he carefully manoeuvres them in a more secluded space.

"She basically called me a ," Donghae tells him through sobs.

Hyukjae sighs, embracing him tighter. "You're not a , Donghae. It shouldn't matter how many people you've dated."

Donghae raises his head from the blond's shoulder, tears running down his face. "D-does it matter to you?"

"Don't be silly," Hyukjae says, cupping his face. "You matter to me."

The kiss Hyukjae leaves on his forehead is better than anything Jessica could ever give him.

"If you wanna get with me, better make it fast."

Sometimes Donghae believes Hyukjae likes him. In a full-homo kind of way. It's not like in the movies - lingering touches, sweet flirting, subtle confessions. Hyukjae does none of that. It's the way the blond talks to him, gentle and always considerate of his feelings; it's the way Hyukjae takes care of him, making sure Donghae does not break his neck or a limb at every step (because Donghae is clumsy like that) and reminding Donghae to eat throughout the day (even sharing his food with him); it's the way Hyukjae looks at him when he thinks Donghae doesn't see, but Donghae does see; it's the way he tells him "Let me know you got home safely" every time they stay out late.

But if Hyukjae does indeed like him, why doesn't he say anything? If the blond was shy, Donghae would understand and take the initiative. However, Hyukjae is anything but shy; Donghae has seen him asking people out or flirt more than he can count.

So why doesn't he ask Donghae out?

Donghae doesn't have the patience to wait and find out.

"Now don't go wasting my precious time."

"I don't get him, Jungsoo. What is he waiting for?"

Even from his seat at the table, Donghae can see his best friend roll his eyes at him as he moves about the kitchen, making dinner.

"If you want him so bad, why don't you ask him out?"

"Well, I would, but ..."

"But what?"

"But if he really liked me, he would've asked first. I don't want to make a fool out of myself."

"You're making a fool out of yourself right now," Jungsoo points out. Donghae has the urge to grab a fork and shove it up the man's . "You'll never know if you don't ask."

Donghae sighs, resting his head on the table. "You're not helping."

"I am. You're refusing my help."

Donghae flips him the bird.

"Have you considered that he's in the same dilemma as you? Or worse - maybe he thinks you don't like him in that way and doesn't want to risk your friendship on finding out."

"That's so cliche." Donghae scrunches up his nose. "This is not some lame drama."

Jungsoo laughs, his high-pitched tone filling the kitchen. "Even those lame dramas have a grain of truth. Where do you think they get their plot from?"

"Not real life."

"Guess again. Now back to your love-life crisis. There's also the possibility he's not confessing because you're always dating someone. Don't get me wrong," he says when Donghae looks close to crying. "There's nothing wrong with that. But the poor guy might just not be able to get the timing right."

"Well I'm not dating anyone now," Donghae mumbles.

"You might want to let him know that as well."

"Get your act together, we could be just fine."

It so happens that the next day is Saturday.

It's late spring already and the weather is perfect for going out. Donghae asks Hyukjae to meet in a park. He's so anxious and excited at the same time, that he leaves earlier than necessary and gets there first. He shivers a little as he waits for his classmate. Though sunny and warm, a cool wind blows and Donghae regrets leaving in only a T-shirt. Although, if everything goes well, he won't be feeling the cold for long.

Hyukjae arrives ten minutes later, wearing a hoodie and carrying a jacket in his hand.

"I got a feeling you'll be underdressed," he says, putting the jacket around Donghae's shoulders. As he pushes his arms through the coat, Donghae wonders how could he be so blind all this time. Hyukjae is totally boyfriend material. "So what do you have in mind?"

"Let's just take a walk for now."

He's not stalling. No, he just wants to find a secluded place, that's all.

When they find it, they take a seat on the grass.

"Hyukjae," Donghae says, going straight to the point. "I like you and I want you to ask me out."

Hyukjae looks comically surprised, his mouth hanging open for a few seconds. When a minute passes without him saying anything, Donghae starts to get worried. But then Hyukjae grins at him, smirks even.

"Why don't you ask me out, huh?" he asks.

Donghae looks away, all his confidence gone with the wind. "I have unpleasant memories."

"I won't call you a , I promise."

"Excuse you?!"

Hyukjae laughs out loud, his head tilting back and hand flying over his mouth.

"You think you're funny, huh?" Donghae pushes him away with force. "I shouldn't have said anything! I should've let you suffer in your unrequited love!"

Hyukjae gets up and pulls Donghae close to him despite his struggles. "The fact that you confessed doesn't make it an unrequited love." He embraces Donghae gently and Donghae melts into his arms. "I would've asked you out eventually. I was just waiting for you to get tired of everyone else."

Donghae feels bad. He wasted so much time dating losers when he could've dated his sweet, loving classmate; Hyukjae who's always there for him, who accepts his friends as they are, who doesn't demand anything of him.

He decides to make it up to him by kissing him senseless throughout the rest of the day.