Angst/ Fluff

 

(Baek)

 

It was when I was 15 when my life took a turn for the worse. It was then I was told I was diagnosed with Leukaemia. I couldn’t breathe; my lungs burned and gasping for air wasn’t happening. I couldn’t do anything but grasp my neck my skin turning red as I continued to choke. My parents came running inside my room, crying at my state and called the ambulance. My mother held onto me and kept chanting for me to breathe for as long as I can. To not give up and to stay alive.

 

It felt like forever until an ambulance came to the house and ran into my room. They carried me down the stairs and onto the stretcher. I was given an oxygen mask and a needle I don’t know what it was for but I felt calmer than before. Breathing was still hard to do but I could manage better as the oxygen mask was doing it’s job. Everything was hazy and the strength to stay awake was fading quickly.

 

I was told to stay awake until I was at least sedated in the hospital which I kept fighting. Finally rolled into the hospital I was quickly placed on the bed and given many different needles which I couldn’t feel any pain since my chest was the only place I could feel pain. The light shown in my eyes which made my eyes tear up, making the want of sleep to increase. I was so tired I couldn’t move as fatigue took over me and the thought of moving just a little brought the fear of pain. I remembered a hand rubbing the hair out of my eyes and it was the ambulance man who took care of me and I knew it was him as his voice was very familiar. I could hear his soothing words ‘You did good kid now just rest you earned it’ with that I fell asleep finally relieved.

 

(Present)

 

That was me 8 years ago and now here I am… in a society help group which is a group for those who are struggling in depression or anxiety from sicknesses they are in. For me it was just chronic leukaemia stage 3 which meant there are too many lymphocytes in my blood and not many red blood cells. It makes my liver, spleen and nodes larger than a normal person and it was very fatal. Surgery to get rid of the cancer wasn’t an option as it is in the later stages and means I am too late to get surgery to make me better again… when I was 15 I already had stage 3 since the two stages that went past I didn’t get checked out.

 

“So everyone please who wants to go first?” the speaker asked to the circle of us. I rolled my eyes not really in the mood to be here I mean I am here apparently because I’m depressed even though I’m not… my parents say I am depressed as all I do is stay home and in my room on the computer or just reading books. They complain how I don’t hang with friends which makes them take me to places where I could meet people my age but I never took interest not one bit.

 

That was until today… where my eyes laid on the new student in the group. He was tall with black hair and had this baby like face which made him look really adorable. I heard his voice from a distance which was deep and he sounded like a comedian from my perspective. He spoke to the guy in my class who had a brain tumour for the past year; he looked healthy so I didn’t know why he was here probably a friend of the brain tumour guy.

 

One of the people in the group stood up to start. “My name is Krystal and I am diagnosed with cancer for the last 4 months,” she spoke softly.

 

“Nice and how do you feel? How are you doing?” the speaker questioned.

 

“Well I am doing fine I took a scan and they said it had become worse but they are making a surgery for the next week for me and it will hopefully get rid of it for good.” The whole group clapped congratulating her for her good news. I wish I could have that, good news was something I could never hear doesn’t matter what the hospital could do for me I knew I was as good as gone in the next few years but I kept quiet about that so I wouldn’t make my parents cry.

 

Eyes stared at me I could feel it, sense it like it was drilling a hole inside my head. I looked to my right to see that person who just stared at me and smiled… he smiled that damn bastard why is he smiling like this?! Smiling wasn’t the thing I was upset about but the fact he was hot and had this genuine smile it made me blush hard. I looked away crossing my arm taking deep breaths hopefully to calm down. Damn him why is he staring at me?! Why does he make me feel this way?!

 

Questions kept appearing in my mind when I heard a voice taking me away from my thinking. “Hello my name is Chanyeol and I came here for my friend Sehun. I was actually in a position when I was diagnosed with Lung cancer but luckily the doctors found it early and after 1 year I had my surgery and here I am 2 years after and cancer free. I am hoping that each one of you will have luck and be cancer free in the future,” he bowed and sat down smiling but then something happened… he looked to me. Oh my god he is doing this again?!

 

“Okay since no one is offering the next one Chanyeol was it? Please choose someone in this room to go next,” I felt my life drain… he was going to choose me.

 

“Okay then the young boy who looks like he doesn’t want to be here,” he pointed to me, .

 

Sighing I stood up and kept my arms crossed. “Well my name is Baekhyun, I am diagnosed with chronic leukaemia stage 3 and I know I will be living this all my life until it takes me,” I sat down and rolled my eyes.

 

“Well… thank you Baekhyun hopefully you will be more… positive in the near future,” the speaker smiled which I wanted to gag in response. “Alright who is next?”

 

(After class)

 

I was waiting outside for my mother to pick me up when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to see it was that guy, Chanyeol. Before he could speak I looked away. “What do you want?” I asked him quickly. He just chuckled and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I tried to pull it off but he was pretty strong and apparently very stubborn.

 

“What I want? Well nothing much maybe just a ferrai but other than that nothing else,” he joked making me groan rolling my eyes.

 

“Ha ha very funny smart . Now please let go of me and please stop staring at me,” I begged which he laughed in response. “W-what’s so funny?!” I blinked confused.

 

“Now I don’t just stare at just anyone silly I stare at those who are angels such as yourself,” I blushed hard not expecting those words to be spoken. He is so messing with me! “Come on angel why does one such as yourself have to wait here in the cold when you could stay in the warm comfort of my home.”

 

“You could be a mass murderer,” I answered quickly making him laugh again.

 

“Well there is always that chance of course but at least it’s a y mass murderer. I’ll make sure you are dressed beautifully after your death,” he joked in which I couldn’t help but laugh. That brought a smile on his face and his eyes lightened up.

 

“What? Is there something on my face?” I went to wipe at my face when he grabbed my hand and held onto it.

 

“You smiled,” he answered. I smiled… oh dear I have in front of him! I let my guard down damn why is he so easy to want to hang with?

 

“No I d-idn’t,” I blushed biting my lip looking away. He grabbed my left cheek and brought it towards my right to have me see him again.

 

“Yes you did… does that mean I get a reward?” he winked which confused me.

 

“A reward? For what?” I wondered.

 

“For making you smile silly, come to my place we can watch movies and eat a lot of food,” My eyes widened hearing this, is this what friends do? I haven’t had any friends and they do sound inviting as well… even if he is a little strange and my parents do want me out and about.

 

“Fine I’ll go with you but it is only because I had nothing to do,” I stubbornly spoke which he laughed and ruffled my hair. “H-ey not the hair!” I brushed my thin hair out properly so it wouldn’t be messy.

 

(In the car)

 

“So tell me Baekhyun how old are you?” Chanyeol asked me to cut the  silence awkward silence.

 

“23 years of age,” I answered him. He began to gasp happily.

 

“Wow hyung I never expected you to be older than me!” he laughed and I blinked shocked.

 

“How old are you then baby face! You look like you are 12 years old!” I joked annoyed to know he thought I was younger, probably it was my height.

 

“I’m 22 years old but thank you for the lovely compliment. Wow so I am going to take care of an old man,” I hit his shoulder. “Ow wow feisty old man!” we laughed all the way to his home.

 

My mouth gaped at his room. It was really big, on the left there were sport trophies and on the right a room full of games and a big sound system accompanied by a 60 inch flat screen tv. This guy must be loaded…

 

“You better close your mouth in case flies fly inside that adorable gap,” I closed my mouth in a jiff and blushed hearing that, damn him.

 

“Wow you have so much stuff! Your parents must have great jobs!” Chanyeol’s smile faded a little but there was still a hint of a smile.

 

“My parents ‘had’ great jobs… they died at work from terrorists,” my heart shattered. He lives alone in this big house… that must be very lonely. Being alone would make any person feel depressed but this guy I don’t get how he can still be the happy jumpy person that he is. I wouldn’t of have expected something like that to have happened to him. “Aw we gone quiet now have we? It’s okay I’m over it after 6 years or so. That’s why I have friends like yourself come over as there is plenty of room here to do many things, let’s have some fun Baekhyun okay?” he grabbed my hands and held them rubbing circles in them.

 

I stood there my heart beats could be heard in the room. My negative thoughts of him had turned from bad to sympathetic. I could feel his giant hands around my small petite hands and how well his massages them. The word friend came into my mind how he called me a friend even though we hardly spoken to each other. “I-I’m your friend? Even if we just met?” I stuttered.

 

“Of course we are best friends and we will be forever until we part,” he winked I couldn’t help but smile. The smile I kept for many years has risen thanks to this man. “Now let me show you around.”

 

(Months later)

 

“So Baekhyun I have to tell you something,” Chanyeol stopped walking and grabbed my hand. I turned to his face confused but waited patiently. “I am just going to say this out loud to you so you know. It is up to you whether you want this friendship to continue or end.”

 

“Our friendship? What is so bad that would ruin that?” I asked him. Mixed emotions ran inside of me my first friend is making me feel uneasy for the first time in forever.

 

“Look after I say this, our friendship won’t be the same and I can’t just not tell you this as it isn’t fair not to. Look to sum it up… I like you Baekhyun and I am not talking about just like as a friend,” my heart fluttered hearing this. He was c-onfessing to me! “I love you Baekhyun,” he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

 

“C-hanyeol I-I,” I stuttered trying to find the right words to tell him. My feelings that have been bottled up for these few months. Those memories of hanging with him at his home, at my own home, in the park and over the bridge. Also the most important memory was eating at a fancy restaurant which I begged to pay my half but was declined as Chanyeol took care of it all. My feelings which had made me act all bubbly towards him and when he wasn’t around me I felt like I was in a different unwanted world of my own.

 

“I’m okay with whatever you answer I will understand. But please don’t walk away without any answer. The want of knowing is painful for a person to bear,” his eyes creased and his hand that was on his heart. My right hand reaches up to his left hand on his heart and I slipped my own under his. I looked up to him and placed my head on his chest hearing how fast his heart beat was increasing. My smile spread all over my face and I leaned and kissed his heart.

 

I pulled away and looked up to him again. “I love you too Chanyeol and we will always be together before we part,” I answered which brought out lips to a sweet kiss. My heart bubbled happily and it hurt a little… oh ! Before I could tell Chanyeol I began to take deep breathes and I leaned my head on his chest cringing in pain as the ability to breathe was taken away from me.

 

“B-Baekhyun?!” I could hear Chanyeol’s scream. My eyes began to flutter and I kept gasping holding on him tightly; tears travelled from my eyes. No not this again please! “Stay awake Baekhyun! Someone call an ambulance please!” he cried loudly. My hand shaking viciously bringing it up which he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his cheek. I could feel his tears seep in between my fingers.

 

“C-C-hany-eol!” I gasped out pain I wanted this to end so badly.

 

“D-ont talk please y-ou will be okay. I am h-ere with you just don’t fall a-sleep,” he begged to me. I nodded gasping but that was very hard to keep my word, I don’t know how long I can keep on going. I felt myself be carried towards the stretcher by Chanyeol who placed me down softly. I reached out for him to be taken into the van. An oxygen mask is placed over my nose and mouth and a needle into my right arm. But even in all this pain I stared at him, I wanted him to come along with me.

 

I saw as he tried to talk to the paramedic to come in which he was lead a pathway into the van.

 

“Baekhyun stay strong for us” he whispered and just like that I felt my consciousness fade away.

 

(Chanyeol)

 

I was in the waiting room where I have been for the past 5 hours and slept overnight. It was 5am when I finally saw Baekhyun’s mother walk out of his room and I stood up. She looked tired eye bags under her eyes but I also tear stained face. “Mam is Baekhyun alright?” I asked her softly. She looked to me and smiled that smile looked like Baekhyun’s sweet smile.

 

“Yes he is alright but… he has stage 4 chronic leukaemia now and I don’t know how long he will last until this happens again,” she hiccupped a tear running down her face. She quickly wipes it and tries to fix herself.

 

“Miss can I see him please?” I asked her which she gave me a sympathetic look but I knew it was a fake smile.

 

“I’ll tell him you were here okay?” she replied and I nodded bowing and walked away. I guess I can wait until he gets out of the hospital. The events of Baekhyun made my stomach churn and I sighed walking to the reception.

 

“I… can I get a check-up please?”

 

(Baekhyun)

 

It has been a week and so far I was babied by my parents which ticked me off. I wanted to go out but they would always keep the doors locked and the keys hidden with them. My phone buzzed and it was Chanyeol.

 

C: Hey Baek I was wondering if you wanted to go out camping with me. It would be like 1 hour away so it isn’t so far.

 

B: I can’t I am like trapped in my house and I don’t know how to get out. *sad face*

 

C: Keep an ear out.

 

An ear out? For what? Little banging noises were heard and I walked to the window to see it was Chanyeol there with two bags and that big goofy smile of his. Ohh so he already had everything prepared even if I declined… I bet there was no chance of saying no to him.

 

“Come on climb out of your window,” he whispered hastily to me. w-hat the window! I shook my head biting my lip a little scared to try it. “Come on I’ll catch you I promise,” he blew me a kiss which made me pout as I smiled like an idiot… fine. Opening my window more I slowly sat onto the roof and closed my window and looked down to immediately panic.

 

“I c-ant do this,” I cried clenching my eyes together.

 

“Please just get onto the edge of the roof and fall forward I will catch you I promise,” he instructed. He isn’t helping at all. in a breath I shakily crawled towards the edge and looked down my heart sort of racing a little. Okay Baekhyun you can do this it is going to be okay. Crossing my fingers I fell forwards to Chanyeol (more like death) but it didn’t hurt… I opened my eyes and saw I had landed in his arms. “See I promised didn’t I?” he winked making my heart flutter. “Come on let’s get in my car we got to get there to put our tent up.”

 

(At the camp sight)

 

Puffing I placed the heavy bag on the floor and sat next to the fireplace I had already made. It was dark out and we both made it placing the tent up. “Hey do you see that?” my mind wondered back to reality and I looked to where Chanyeol was pointing to and it was the stars. I crawled to him and lay next to him. “Those stars make it look like an angel,” I saw where he was pointing and I couldn’t see the so called angel.

 

“I don’t see anything Chanyeol are you joking around?” I puffed annoyed trying to find it.

 

“Keep looking it’s there I can see it,” he continued and I did as I was told not giving up. I squealed as I felt a kiss on my cheek and I turned my head to him who chuckled. He brought me onto his lap and nuzzled our noses together.

 

“I am looking at the angel,” he winked and I playfully hit his shoulder blushing. He was playing with me! I hid my face in the crook of his neck too embarrassed. “Aw you get so embarrassed so quickly you are so cute,” he cooed making me more flustered. Damn him. “Baek,” after a minute he spoke.

 

“Hm?”

 

“I-it’s back…” I brought my head back and gave him a confused look.

 

“What’s back?” I questioned curiously. Tears filled his eyes for the second time I ever saw him do this.

 

“M-y lung cancer is back Baek… I took a check-up after what happened to you and… I don’t have… have,” he stuttered shakily. Tears rose into my eyes and I cried hard into his shoulder. I shook my head not wanting to believe it, he couldn’t have had it back.

 

“But if it’s b-ack then it’s w-orse right?” I hiccupped and he nods after a few seconds. “Oh Yeol,” I cried hugging him tightly. “Why did you have to get it again?”

 

“I don’t know but please can we not talk about this… I want to have fun with you,” he insisted rubbing the tears out of my eyes. I nodded trying to calm down and hugged him tightly. All this sadness after one minute had made me tired and I closed my eyes snuggling into his chest.

 

(Few days later)

 

“Here could you?” I blinked and looked to the paper.

 

“What do you want me to write?” I asked him confused he always leaves details out.

 

“Write me what you would say at my funeral,” he cleared making my eyes widened. “Aw don’t give me that look and I really want to hear your words. So in case I don’t have a spirit form of myself at my funeral at least I can see my funeral now right?” he winked playfully.

 

“You always make things sound so funny and enjoyable even if it’s heart breaking. I don’t know…”

 

“Please do it for me. Let me hear your heart, the heart of an angel.” I looked to the paper and then to him.

 

“I’ll say it now,” I took a deep breath and locked eyes with him. “Chanyeol… was a cherry, sarcastic and an eventful young man. He is not only my best friend but someone who I can call my love. Chanyeol and I have a history even if it’s only a few months history it felt like years upon years. The way he could make you feel so happy when you are mad, dry the tears when you cry and make you mad when you are happy. He was one of a kind and someone that many adored.

 

Some people find death the end but even if one shall fall it brings a new beginning and that new beginning for a bright future. He wouldn’t wish for us to shed tears or hurt ourselves for him as it would make him cry on his way to heaven. He will always be watching us and always be in our hearts.

 

Be at peace Chanyeol and always remember I love you always until the day we part because we still haven’t parted our love is too strong for that to come.”

 

I stopped and I saw the biggest smile on his face. “That was very beautiful.. have you ever thought of becoming a poet?” he joked and I rolled my eyes.

 

“Ha ha you are very funny. Come on let go swimming in the lake,” I stood up starting to take my shirt off to be carried onto his shoulder. “H-ey let me go!” before I knew it Chanyeol had jumped and we both landed into the water happily.

 

(Next morning)

 

It was the day we were to go back to my boring place. I didn’t want to leave but I knew if I didn’t come back then Chanyeol could be charged for kidnapping or something ridiculous. Opening my eyes I looked to my right to see he wasn’t with me in the tent. He is up early this morning.

 

I ped the tent and looked around but I couldn’t find him. “Chanyeol!” I yelled wondering where he was. I heard coughing from the lake and ran towards it to see Chanyeol coughing on his knees and gasping himself. Scared I ran to him I didn’t know what to do how was an ambulance meant to get here?!

 

“B-aek” he gasped and I cried grabbing my phone out. But a hand stopped me and took the phone from my hands. “D-ont”

 

“No are you crazy you are going to die if you don’t let me call the ambulance! You aren’t going to leave me!”

 

He smiled up at me and chuckled while taking deep breaths. “They w-ould be too late w-hen they come. I’m s-orry,” he choked and fell onto his back looking up to me with a shaky smile. Stubbornly I took the phone and called for help. They were on their way with a helicopter and I held onto him for dear life.

 

“Stay awake Y-eol don’t you dare l-eave me!” I screamed my heart was breaking. It felt like it was going to shatter into many different shards.

 

“I knew I w-as going to d-ie,” he coughed violently and he was going red I didn’t know what else to do I felt so hopeless. “That’s w-hy I brought u-s here to spe-nd our last d-ays together,” my eyes widened. He knew he wasn’t going to live longer… and he didn’t tell me!

 

“N-o please you can’t I will hate you if you leave me!” I didn’t know what I was saying I was just so upset and hurt.

 

“That’s o-kay,” he spoke.

 

“N-o you aren’t meant to be okay with that! I can’t hate you idiot! I love you too much if you go I don’t know why I should live! You are my other half so please don’t!” it was quiet. “C-hanyeol?” I hesitated.

 

“Saranghae Baekhyun,” he placed a kiss to my hand and his eyes just stared into the blue sky. He wasn’t blinking and they showed no life. how dull they looked not those cheery, happy eyes he had before. I cling onto him my lips meeting his now cool lips and clenching my eyes tears running down. 

 

People pulled me off him and I screamed not wanting to be taken away from him. The paramedic took him up into the helicopter and took me to Chanyeol’s car. I watched as the helicopter took him away from me  and flew towards the hospital.

 

“Sir I know how hard it must be right now but I need the address of that young man so I can take this car back,” the paramedic asked me and I gave him the dullest eyes.

 

“Here” I gave him the paper with the information. My heart is shattered and I don’t know what to do.

 

(No ones pov)

 

It was later on that night that Baekhyun was on his bed for many hours not talking to anyone. His parents worried a lot and decided after 6 hours they were going to see how he is. Opening the door they walked in to see their son on his bed lying on his back.

 

“He is asleep all this time?” his mother spoke calmly and sat on the bed and brushed his hair out of her son’s eyes. Something inside of her froze as she inspected her son closely and she brought her hand to and cried. Her husband hugged her wondering what was going on with her all of a sudden.

 

“Why are you crying now?” he asked her.

 

“His skin is cold as ice… honey he is gone.”

 

(Somewhere else)

 

“Chanyeol!” there was a yell and the tall man turned around wide eyed. He stared in the distance a shorter young looking man who showed a huge grin. Was he dreaming? He didn’t know but then he realised… it was reality. “Yeol!” Baekhyun pounced onto Chanyeol happily and cried in his shoulder.

 

“Baek… did you know it was your time too? Or did you do something stupid to come here?” he questioned the older man. Baek looked to him and hit him across the head.

 

“I didn’t kill myself! I felt really out of it and before I knew it I let it happen… I didn’t want to be in a life without you so here I am. I didn’t get to say this before you died.

 

“What was that?” Chanyeol whispered.

 

“Saranghae Yeol,” he smiled and they both kissed happily. A gust of wind flew past and the paper Baehyun wrote flew in the beautiful breeze. 

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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