“How have you been?” Hunchul questioned.

Chungrie and Hunchul walked side by side under the trees. A few people walked by them, conversing and laughing. The air was musty and smelled of wet cement due to the rainfall early that day. The park stretched out by their right while the street stretched on for miles on their left. Beside the park, the dark river dragged on forever.

Hunchul glanced down at her, looking attractive in loose blue jeans and a white long sleeve shirt. His worn out leather jacket was hung over his shoulder. His free hand was in his pants pocket and he looked relaxed. He was even more attractive than the last time she saw him.

“I’ve been good… How about you?”

He nodded, looking straight ahead. “Getting by, I guess… When’s Kiseok and your wedding?”

“Ah, we’re not getting married.” She looked flustered, avoiding his gaze.

“How long has it been?”

Chungrie looked at her shoes as they stumbled over the gravel whereas Hunchul’s feet glided effortlessly beside hers. His strides were long and graceful whereas she had a hard time catching up. She hated being short. “Two and a half years,” she said quietly.

“Wow… It’s already been so long.”

“Not really.” She turned to him, smiling. “Time doesn’t seem long when I’m with him.”

“Does he treat you good?” A sad smile appeared on his face when she nodded. “That’s fantastic… You’ve always wanted a family.”

“I… I don’t think about it anymore.”

“I still do…” Their eyes met, but neither said anything. It was too painful. Reminiscing about the past would tear the wound open and all those years of healing would be wasted. They couldn’t possibly do that to each other. Not again. Hunchul let out a chuckle and avoided her eyes. He his bottom lip. “Sometimes I’m ashamed I couldn’t do it, that I couldn’t take you overseas… You always told me I had everything when I had nothing… I let you down.” He wanted to say more, wanted to let her know, wanted to be vulnerable and expose himself, but his top lip clamped down on the other, forcing him to stop.

“Don’t be like that. We both let each other down.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Besides, you have everything now, Hunchul.”

He abruptly stopped and pulled her to face him. He looked down at her with piercing eyes and lips set in a straight line. She looked up at him, who towered over her. In his eyes, she could see pain and guilt gnawing at him.

‘Please, not now,’ she silently prayed.

He wanted to say something he’s been dying to say, but suddenly his lips felt like bricks. He couldn’t muster up the energy to move them. Worst of all, his throat had dried up, feeling like it’s about to close. He could feel the pricking of his eyes. Frustrated and terrified, he harshly turned his head and let out a laugh, blinking fast. She bit her lip, turning her head so she wouldn’t see him. They had been together long enough for her to know what was happening. Chungrie couldn’t watch it unfold before her; she couldn’t lose everything right then.

“I’m sorry,” he said with an embarrassed laugh. “I told myself I wouldn’t do this.”

She took a deep breath and cleared before turning to look at him. “Don’t worry about it. An oppa once told me it’s easier to let go when you say it out loud.”

Hunchul smiled weakly. “I forgot how refreshing it was to be around you.”

She grinned at him causing her eyes to disappear. “I’ll be Hunchul’s life refreshment!” He smiled, patting her head. “Ah, you said you got my number from Hye Ryung?”

He nodded. “I ran into her at the market selling books.”

Her smile vanished and her eyebrow raised. “Books?”

“She sells books online and delivers them personally.”

“She’s not going to Stanford? I-I thought…” A look of worry creased her face as she looked at the gravel. Hunchul noticed and gently rubbed her shoulder in comfort.

“Hey, she’s probably fine.” She hesitantly nodded her head in agreement, but she still felt unsettled. It didn’t seem right.

She turned to look at him. “Do you have her number?”

He arched an eyebrow. “You two haven’t talked at all?”

Shaking her head, she explained, “We haven’t kept in touch ever since graduation… I thought she left for America… A lot of things happened since then…”

He pursed his lips, nodding. “I understand.” He gave her Hye Ryung’s information.

As they started walking again, she looked at him. “Are you still working on music?”

 “Of course! I’m currently working on my next album.”

“That’s good to hear. I can always produce for you, all you need to do is ask.”

“Have you gotten better? I’m too good for an amateur beat,” he said playfully, making her laugh as she hit his arm.

“You just wait until I’m in demand then I won’t offer to produce for you,” she stated.

He laughed freely, patting her head. “Then what are you waiting for? Let’s work on the next song together.”

“Even if you’re my oppa, I still charge two percent for every song. No discounts or freebies.”

He raised a brow. “Only two percent? Isn’t that too cheap?”

She looked uncertain as she glanced at the ground. “I’m still an amateur, two percent seems a bit high to me.”

“An amateur wouldn’t be working with Block B, Chungrie.”

 “I just got accepted. Besides, it doesn’t mean I’m good.” She held up a finger and looked at him dramatically. “And, I usually work with underground rappers and they don’t earn much. It wouldn’t be right to take most of their earnings.”

Hunchul sighed, running his hand through his hair and messing it up. “I just don’t want you to live like this… A person with your experience and talent would be earning four to five percent right now.”

“I’m getting by, it’s fine.”

Hunchul scoffed. “We both know how you’re living and I wouldn’t call it-.”

Chungrie quickly interrupted him, “Hunchul, please. I don’t want to argue with you on our first day after two years.”

He sighed in exasperation, running his palm down his face. “I forgot how frustratingly stubborn you are.”

“And I forgot how annoyingly caring you are.” She made a face at him and he smiled as he loosened his shoulders.

“You’re still with AOMG?” She nodded. “That’s good; you’ll get numerous opportunities working with them. Someday you’ll be the greatest producer in the universe and I’ll get to say I knew you during your pre-breakout years!” His fist punched the air with a carefree grin on his face.

“That’ll be a while.”

He looked down at her with gentle eyes and said sincerely, “But to me, you’re already the greatest producer.”

“You always say stuff like that.”

“I just want you to know I mean it.”

Chungrie let out a light laugh. “Still the same response, you never changed.” He looked at her with a softened expression, eyes lingering on her lips before meeting her eyes.

“Maybe I’m only like this with you.”

“And I’m only like this with you.” She got on her tiptoes and flicked his forehead, making him pretend to stumble back as he clutched his forehead while making weird noises. She laughed, turning around and walking away. “When did you get here?”

He followed after her, hand gripping the arms of his jacket. “Around nine. Hey, remember that arcade we always went to?”

“Of course.”

“I went back and I’m surprised I still recognize it. It brought back a lot of memories.” He looked at the sky and smiled.

“Of course you’d recognize it; it’s only been two years.” She rolled her eyes at him and he flicked her nose – something he always did back then – causing her to flinch. “Oppa, your flicking skills are still daebak.”

“Oh?” He looked at his fingers then at her with a look of playfulness and fake surprise. “I haven’t practiced flicking while I was away, but with you, it comes easily.”

“Everything comes easily with me.” He shook his head, smiling. “I haven’t been at the arcade for years now.” She sighed longingly and Hunchul looked at her.

“Then let’s go together.” She quickly turned to meet his gentle eyes and she grinned, nodding enthusiastically.

“But not tonight, I’ll be at NB…” She quickly looked at him with hopeful eyes. “Will you be coming?”  

“Ah, I’m hanging out with the boys… Are you the DJ?”

She grinned, brushing away the fact he couldn’t go. “It’s my night off.”

His hand gently rested on her shoulder. “Good, go enjoy yourself. Who’s performing?”

“You have to be there to know.”

“Well then, too bad I’m not going, right?”

She shook her head. “Are you and Namjoon still in touch?” She noticed his face fell at the mention of the rapper, but she decided to not question him as he shook his head, facial expression implying he didn’t want to discuss about the man. He used to talk about his friends a lot and took her to visit them frequently, but one day all communication stopped. He didn’t mention them; he didn’t ask her if she wanted to see them. Before she knew it, Chungrie and Hunchul were no more and he left for another country. Now he was back, but she still felt like he was distant.

“Hey.” Her head jerked in the direction of his voice. He was staring at her with concern. “You’re not conspiring to ditch me, are you?”

“After two years? Of course not.”

For whatever reason, he didn’t want to believe her.

*

Chungrie got out of her black 1970 Dodge Charger and smoothed down her white mini dress that reached a little above mid-thigh. The dress hugged her slender frame as well as making her smokey eye makeup stand out. Her signature matte red lips were a good combination against her medium skin tone. Her hair was pinned up messily with strands framing her face, showcasing her neck.

As she began heading for the door of the club, her phone vibrated and she fetched it from her purse. She smiled and stopped in her tracks when Kiseok’s name flashed across the screen. Sliding the screen, she opened up his text message.

 

I’m sorry I can’t be there. Enjoy yourself and please be safe, jagiya.

 

Her stomach tickled with butterflies and she grinned, making her eyes disappear. She quickly sent him a response, wishing him luck on his new project as well as reassuring him she’ll look after herself. She wanted to tell him she wished he was there, but she didn’t want him to feel guilty. This project meant a lot to him and the sooner he got it done, the sooner they’d get to be together. She slipped her phone back into her purse and headed for the destination.

The loud rap music boomed from inside the building and inside was so dark that she could only make out silhouettes dancing on each other. The line stretched out far into the distance, the night making everyone look like a shadow.

She showed the security her staff pass and he let her enter. The bass immediately shook her bones and the screams and yells flew into her eardrums, making it hard to hear herself think. She pushed through people and tried to find her way through the crowd, but it was hard because everyone was double her size. Compared to them, she was like a child.

The DJ cut the song and announced Jay Park onto the stage and the crowd went wild when ‘Mommae’ blared through the speakers. People started grinding and dancing around her which made it harder for her to navigate her way to the stage. She tried jumping in her brown Timberland Boot stilettos while at the same time trying to inch forward. Just then, somebody put their arm around her left shoulder and yelled beside her right ear.

“When Hanhae told me you couldn’t dance, I thought he was joking.” The person chuckled and she turned her head to meet Jaewon. His hair was spiked up, revealing the glory of his forehead.

Chungrie smiled. “Don’t judge, you haven’t seen my chicken dance.”

He beamed down at her. “Would I want to?”

“It’s the best thing in town, duh. But then again, only the crew get to see it and you’re not part of the crew.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not in the crew then, eh?”

“You’re performing, right?”

He nodded. “I’m going backstage, wanna come?”

“Gladly; it’s so hard to move in here.”He took her wrist and led her through the crowd. He yelled something and glanced back, but she couldn’t hear. “What?!” Her lungs felt like they were burning from the yelling.

Jaewon glanced back. “Simon’s not coming?!” A couple behind her shoved her forward and she slammed into his back, causing her to look at his back apologetically. “He’s busy.” He looked at her, shaking his head with a confused expression. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear anything!” She smiled and shook her head. Due to the difficulty of hearing each other, they said nothing as they took the last steps to the backstage.

“We’re free!” she exclaimed in glee as they entered backstage, free from the bodies and loud noise. It was still loud backstage, but it was less loud, allowing them to hear each other better. He chuckled as their eyes locked and she grinned up at him.

“It’s late, thought you wouldn’t make it.” Jaewon noticed Sunghwa looking at Jaewon’s hold on Chungrie and Jaewon immediately pulled his hand away.

“Who said I wouldn’t come?” She walked over to a chair and put her purse down before turning back to look at the two. “I met with a friend. We talked longer than expected.”

Sunghwa nodded. Jaewon cleared his throat. “I’m gonna go get ready. See you later.” He directed the last sentence towards Chungrie and she smiled, waving.

“Blow me away, One.”

*

After wishing Hanhae luck for his upcoming performance, Jiho left backstage and instantly merged with the wild crowd. A few people around him did a double-take and after realizing it was the Jiho, they hooted and greeted him. He smiled and greeted them back, asking if they were enjoying the performances and whatnot.

From a distance, Taewoon noticed his brother and went to greet him with Soojin on his arm. She was reluctant but didn’t want Taewoon to question her relationship with Jiho. She couldn’t let him know what she and his brother had. She knew it would make their relationship hard and she couldn’t risk it.

“Bro, I didn’t know you’d be here.” Taewoon tapped Jiho’s shoulder and Jiho turned around. The moment his eyes landed on Taewoon and Soojin, Jiho’s smile dropped. His eyes lingered on a curvy Soojin and she narrowed her eyes at him, putting her arm around her fiancé.

Jiho met his brother’s gaze. “I can say the same to you.” They quickly hugged. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be watching movies or something?”

Jiho tried avoiding Soojin’s cold gaze. The way she was staring at him made his heart clench. His hand clenched by his side and his eyes kept going back to the way they held each other in their arms: close and clingy.

“Jagi wanted to party.” As he said that, Taewoon turned to Soojin and they shared a sweet smile before pressing their lips together.

Heart wrenching and pulse quickening, Jiho cleared his throat, harshly turning his attention away from them. Soojin whispered something in Taewoon’s ear and he nodded before turning back to his brother.

“Will you be performing?”

“’Tough Cookie’ in a bit.”

Taewoon nodded as he bumped his fist with Jiho’s. “Have fun, we’re gonna go now.”

Jiho nodded his head and watched Soojin as his brother led her to the dance-floor. He watched as Taewoon slid his hands down her waist and she pulled him onto her. Jiho grunted, feeling his body begin to boil with jealousy as he harshly turned and stomped towards the bar. He slumped down onto the empty stool next to Chungrie and ordered a cup of alcohol.

“Your body is bangin’ in that,” Jiyong commented.

He slid into the empty stool on the other side of her with a bottle of liquor in his hand. His dreads covered his eyes and he reeked of alcohol, making Chungrie scrunch up her nose. She smiled at him and turned her attention to the bottles on the wall.

“I hate compliments like that,” she muttered, holding her glass of sugar water to her lips.

“Props to Kiseok for getting to hit that.” She frowned at him and he raised his eyebrow. “You guys don’t…?”

“You can love someone without , you know.” She sipped her drink and beside them, Jiho silently listened in on their conversation as he gulped down the alcohol. It scorched his throat as it went down and he sighed in satisfaction.

“I doubt he agrees.” Jiyong took a gulp of his drink and she turned to look at him with an arched brow.

“Did he say that to you?” Sighing, she dismissed him with a wave of her hand. “Wait, don’t you have a girlfriend?” The man shrugged, earning a look of disapproval from her. “Whatever, you’re drunk. We’ll talk when you’re sober. Leave.”

He blinked a couple times then stood up and walked away while stumbling. Beside her, Jiho let out a light laugh and she turned to look at him when he tilted his head and downed the liquor.

“What’re you laughing at?” she asked.

“Everything’s so much more amusing when you’re slightly disoriented.” He lightly smiled as he set the glass down and stared at it.

“Sometimes I wonder how that feels.” She sighed. “But I prefer to stay classy.”

“No one’s classy at a club, especially at NB.” He turned the glass in his hand and scanned the crowd. “Everyone’s wild here, can’t keep their hands to themselves. But you,” he paused as he turned to look at her, “you’re different from everyone here.” His hand motioned behind his shoulders and she glanced back. He studied her face, eyes occasionally looking at her legs. “Not much of a drinker, are you? Or probably playing innocent? Whichever one, you don’t seem to belong.”

“Honey, I’m a lot of things, but innocent isn’t one,” she replied. “Besides, I’m the designated driver.”

The bartender refilled Jiho’s cup and he eyed Chungrie. “Really? You look like the Mary in that.”

“My innocence is that noticeable?”

He pursed his lips, looking at the counter and nodding sadly. “Maybe if you drink, it’ll be less pronounced.”

“Ohhh…. Or should I just…” She stood up and stumbled, causing him alarm as his head jerked in her direction, only to see her acting drunk. Her arms flailed in the air and she stumbled here and there, saying things that didn’t make sense in a drunken voice. Jiho laughed, shaking his head and turning back to his alcohol. She finally laughed and went back to her seat. “Is that enough to convince people I’m not the Mary?”

He scanned her figure with a smirk. “Or I can just taint you.”

“Are you harassing me? Mind you, I’m the producer for the album. We wouldn’t want production to suddenly stop, do we, boy?”

He hummed then took a drink of the alcohol. “Let me guess, you desire control. You’re always planning ahead, cautious of every little detail. Anything that surprises you causes you to become unbalanced.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What are you getting at?”

“No one would expect someone your size to be blunt. When you talk, you intimidate everyone. Due to your size, you choose to be feisty so nobody can take advantage of you.”

“Predicting each other, are we?”

“But it’s all just an act.” He stared straight at her. “In order to mask the pain, you adopt that façade. With all those trust issues, you might as well be Drake.”

“With all that talk, you might as well be Kanye.”

He shrugged. “I might as well be, but you’re the one with the Drake feelings and the Kanye attitude.” Chungrie half scoffed and half laughed. He continued, “You like to understand the world you’re living in, that’s why you have a weakness for science.” He turned to her, who was looking at the empty glass in her hand. “Tell me, you studied at Seoul Science High School, why did you choose this lifestyle?”

A soft smile surfaced on her face as her eyes glanced at the wall before she turned to him. “Coming up with all that talk, it must’ve taken you all day to stalk me and then rehearse it.”

He turned to the bartender after finishing his drink. “Can I get something a little stronger?” The bartender took a few bottles of alcohol from under the counter and started mixing them together before dropping a few ice cubes into the glass and pouring the mixture into Jiho’s cup.

“I’ll be straightforward with what I’m gonna say,” she said, watching him gulp the liquor and sighing in satisfaction. “You like your hyung’s fiancée.” He froze for a second in surprise before acting like it didn’t matter and took a gulp of the drink. She smirked at his reaction. “You pretend the betrayal doesn’t hurt-.”

He interrupted her, “Taewoon didn’t betray me.”

“I’m not talking about Taewoon,” she replied. “You thought it would be Soojin… By the look on your face, you were going to propose but she chose your brother.” She tilted her head, watching him and he scoffed, downing the remaining liquor in his cup. “The memories haunt you and you can’t turn off your feelings for her. Around others, you act like you’re not hurting. You laugh and joke around, but when you’re alone you drink yourself to sleep. I’m not the only one hiding behind a façade.”

“You’ve gone through the same thing.”

“I’m the Mary, did you forget?”

“Again with that act,” he said in a tsk-tsk tone. “I know who you really are. Drop that act when you’re with me, expose yourself, I won’t judge.”

She chuckled with a shake of her head. “You’re going to assume I quit science to pursue music to be with him, blah, blah, blah. No honey, I’m not some stereotypical woman whose life depends on men. I don’t let others define the life I’m going to live. I’m not living for them.”

“If not, why’d you quit pursuing science?”

“If it doesn’t work, you should know when to stop. It turns out you don’t know me at all, Woo. Ji. Ho.”

He slightly smiled. “Darn! I was thinking I had impressed you,” he said mockingly.

“You look exhausted. Maybe you should go relax and release that tension.”

“Again with those Drake feelings, man!” He chuckled in mockery.

“What kind of girls do you like?”

He smirked. “Are you interested?”

She rolled her eyes. “I was offering to hook you up with someone.”

“You don’t want to be tainted by me? To have my scent carved into your soul? To expose yourself to me? Are you afraid I’ll know the real you?”

“And let the album production stop when I haven’t even started? No thanks.”

“Do you want to know why we chose you over all those applicants?”

“Isn’t it because my interview was the best?”

“Simon Dominic kept pestering me, shoving his letters of recommendations in my face. He even got as far as threatening AOMG to cease all contacts with us. With all that praise about you, how could I refuse?”

“He what?” Why didn’t he say anything? Why did he pretend I did this all by myself? Kiseok you jerk! “So it wasn’t because of my interview?”

“What interview? I didn’t even see it.”

“Seriously?! I even told a heartwarming story and th-that one girl teared up and I thought I did so well… I…Ugh.” She groaned and slammed her head against the counter, mumbling curses. Jiho leaned back in the seat and watched with amusement.

“Now that I got that off my chest, we can move on.” Head still on the counter, she made a face. “I like women with thighs and hips. Black women, I like black women.” Satisfied with his answer, he entwined his hands together in his lap and smiled. “Your turn.”

“I’ll pass.”

“It’s me, ain’t it? It’s a shame you’re not my type.”

She rolled her eyes and sat up. “I like men with a conscience, someone with deep thoughts and easy to converse with. He can have his faults but still acknowledge them and try to better himself. Yes, sadly, you’re not that kind of man.”

A lighthearted laugh escaped his lips. “You don’t know me, babe. You’re all about personality?”

She looked at her glass and twirled it between her hands. “You don’t know much about relationships, do you?”

“I’ve had my share of break-ups. But you have to admit, appearance is a factor in dating.”

“The difference between you and me is that you focus on the things that won’t make a relationship last. You’re afraid to go deeper than what you see. Afraid she’ll leave when you fall?”

“I’m not afraid of anything. I like things that make me feel a type of way.”

“You’re an impulsive man; always focusing on the present, afraid to think about the future.”

“Do you know the first rule of a boss and an employee, Miss. Hwang? Let me remind you that attacking your boss is always a no-no.”

She smirked. “Deep down, I know you’re not like that, boss. I can tell by the way you look at Soojin.”

She started to stand up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chungrie put the cash on the counter. “You’re a man capable of going deeper than the outer surface, you’re just afraid to be exposed again.” She walked away and disappeared into the crowd. Jiho laughed and downed the rest of the alcohol.

“Who is this woman?”

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