July 26 2015 :11:00 PM

 

Tao lie awake in his bed, it was already 11 pm and he couldn’t fall asleep. He is currently at his home with his parents in Qingdao. There is just this itch to get out of bed to bother his parents but they were probably exhausted from all the controversy occurring lately. He turns on his phone, he really needs someone to talk to. Scrolling through his contacts his hand stumbles upon Sehun’s name, labeled as "Hunhun". His hand lingered on the call button, as much as he wants to press it, he knows he couldn’t. Sehun was probably one of the most disappointed person in the world. If Tao heard his voice, he might want to go back, he might want to leave China again and go back. He couldn't. Not after he came this far.

 

I left him when I promised I wouldn’t... he probably hates me so much right now...

 

Sehun I miss you Tao types then deletes it.

 

Thousands of miles away Sehun is restless, rolling and constantly adjusting himself around. His phone clutched in his hand, he too wanted to call Tao so badly. But SM did not allow any contact with Tao because they were in the middle of negotiating a deal. Thats just bull isn’t it, he thought. I just want to hear his voice again, just once… Tao had left so many matters unexplained and just disappeared from Exo. It was just so confusing. So frustrating. It hurts. Slowly a tear comes sliding down Sehun’s cheek. I hate this.

 

-

 

Midnight Dates

May 2014

Sehun rolled around his bed waiting for his alarm to ring. It was 12:56, he got out of bed and put on his cap then headed outside the dorm rooms. On the opposite hallway, he saw Tao quietly exiting his dorm room. He smirked at Tao’s sleepy and bare panda face, what a hot mess.. The two maknae’s slowly made their way out of the dorm and onto the streets of Seoul through the back entrance.

 

Sehun happily trailed after Tao following him to their usual place, under the tunnel where they would take long walks and talk together for hours. These long walks that they went on together, it was their way of releasing all their stress.

 

“How are you feeling Hun-ah” Tao said sleepily, releasing a yawn.

 

“I’m tired” he responded taking Tao’s hand and wrapping his fingers around it. Tao tightened his grip around his hand.

 

The two walked further down the tunnel in silence, enjoying each others company.

 

“It gets tiring sometimes...you know fame and all” Tao murmured. “Sometimes I wish…”

 

Wish…?

 

“Sometimes I wish I could run away from everything, I want to escape” Tao finished.

 

“Well then, you would have to take me with you if you ever do” Sehun said looking into Tao’s eyes with sincerity.

 

“It’s just a joke, I would never leave you” Tao smiled happily looking into Sehun’s brown eyes.

 

Sehun looked at Tao for a moment, it was strange. Maybe it was the lighting but there was just a slight hint of sadness he saw in Tao’s eyes for a fleeting moment. Something he couldn’t  quite put his finger on.

 

“Tao…” Sehun started his voice trailing off.

 

“Yah- you should call me hyung once in a while” Tao playfully scolded and ruffled his hair.

 

“I don’t think I could do this without you” Sehun whispered.

 

“Do what?” Tao asked.

 

“All of this, Exo, SM, fame...”

 

“Thank you hyung…”

 

Tao smiled at his best friend. These cheesy moments they shared together, he should cherish it more.

 

There he goes again with that sad smile... Sehun thought inside. What’s bothering him so much....?

 

“Tao...is there something you’re not telling me?” Sehun asked quietly slowing his pace a bit.

 

“Of course not, there are no secrets between us remember?” Tao responded quickly avoiding his eye contact.

 

Sehun smiled sadly. He knew he couldn’t push it out of Tao, he would only have to wait. Wait until Tao felt like it was time to tell him.

 

“Are you happy...living like this?” Sehun asked again.

 

“Well, of course I miss my parents, but I have you, so of course I’m happy” Tao said.

 

That wasn’t the answer Sehun wanted but he decided not to push it anymore. Tao was just being strange tonight but he wouldn’t force it out of him anymore.

 

“Hun-ah whats with all these questions?” Tao said stopping in his tracks.

 

“N-nothing...you just look unhappy sometimes” Sehun responded.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t ever be unhappy, as long as I have you. As long as I have Exo” Tao said quickly pulling the maknae into a hug.

 

Sehun wrapped his arms around Tao. He could hear Tao quietly sniffling and trying to hold his tears in.

 

-

Sehun woke up feeling his cheeks and eyelashes wet with tears. Maybe he really did get tired of us. Maybe I wore him out... maybe he was always unhappy, is that what it was Tao? Is that what you couldn't tell me... It was 12:56, Sehun drags himself outside of the dorm staring up at the sky. It was a crescent moon night. The dark sky and the glowing moon, he wonders if Tao could also see this. He shakes it off and continues to walk on their usual trail. This time alone.

 

Miles away Tao stares out his window looking through his curtains at the crescent moon. He feels this swelling sinking feeling. It was the feeling of loneliness. Emptiness. Isolation.

 

Under the same sky, yet so far away from each other.

 

Authors Note:

Sorry for the lack of updates!!

For more about their actual midnight walks/dates : Click Me

For a depressing Taohun post: Click Me

 

As always thank you for reading!