final.

Age is a Number

They left the set as soon as they had finished filming the episode; there was no time for games or messing around backstage when exhaustion was beginning to rear its ugly head and a late show was scheduled for the next day. The moon was high in the sky, casting a faint glow on the boys as they trudged toward the van, their feet heavy as lead. The highways held little traffic, and were illuminated only by the street torches and headlights of other cars.

 

Touring was always a bittersweet experience for all of them -- on the one hand, performing their hearts out on the stage and receiving so much love from their fans thrilled them to no end. They wouldn’t give it up for all the money in the world. But the hours were unbelievable. Sure, one could argue that it’s what they signed up for, a constant state of fatigue; but, damn it, there had to be limits.

 

The van was silent, save for the sound of the wind hitting the windows. Jeongmin and the twins were a lump of sleeping bodies in the backseat while Hyunseong took the passenger seat, bouncing his leg to keep his mind from wandering off. Donghyun and Minwoo sat beside each other in the middle of the car, both resting their heads against the panes of cool glass on either side of them.

 

The boys’ leader had been speechless leaving the studio, and if they weren’t all half-asleep by the time their butts hit the car seats, they would have called attention to it. But with Hyunseong dozing off by the minute, Minwoo was the only one who noticed Donghyun’s uncharacteristic display of suppression. He turned his head, glancing over at his hyung starring with sunken eyes at his reflection. There was something wrong with his picture -- with the whole car ride, if Minwoo was being honest. Donghyun never congratulated, or scolded, them for their performance; never talked of improvement. Nothing. Only silence.

 

The quiet unnerved Minwoo. Set him on edge. He thought back to the show, wracking his brain for something, an instance, that would have caused his hyung’s depression. He could think of nothing -- the hosts were both animated and the boys had as much fun as they could, running on fumes. They even showed some of their choreography...that was it. The dancing.

 

The hosts had compared their dancing, Minwoo’s and Donghyun’s. Told them to do it how they always do, not to change anything. Minwoo’s dancing had always been dynamic -- he pushed himself and pushed himself until he could execute it almost as well as their instructors. He could not settle for anything less -- it was just how he was. Donghyun was a beautiful dancer, just as breath-taking as Minwoo, but for different reasons. His movements were relaxed, flowing into each other step-by-step. Of course, singling them out would make for a huge contrast! But Minwoo adored his hyung’s dancing style, how carefree it was -- he thought, when they had first started, that Donghyun didn’t have to think about it, he just moved to the beat. The hosts, however, had something dissimilar in mind.

 

They mocked Donghyun for it. They brought attention to the fact that his hyung looked his way when they folded in, to his gentle way of moving. They even held their age-gap over him, saying he was almost halfway to sixty. His face fell with their words, though he agreed with a solemn tone.

 

Minwoo felt an abhorrent twist in his stomach, wincing as he turned away from his leader. It wasn’t his fault, at least not directly -- but he took the blame, anyway. He made to open his mouth, to speak to Donghyun, but changed his mind at the last second, pulling his legs into the seat and curling into himself. Closing his eyes, he tried to fall asleep to the sounds of the wheels on the asphalt and the backseat’s snoring, failing to ignore the aching in his chest.

 

***

When they returned to the hotel, the van jerking to a stop, Minwoo woke in a sour mood. He blinked a few times, attempting to recall where they were, then stretched his arms in front of him. The twins, Jeongmin, and Hyunseong were all still snoozing in their seats. A glance to his left and Minwoo found that Donghyun had put his earphones in between the time he fell asleep and then, his eyes shut.

 

Although he didn’t want to disturb his hyung, he knew that waking the others by himself was nigh impossible. Donghyun and Hyunseong were in charge of that; the guys, save Youngmin, only listened to the older members. Minwoo bit down on his bottom lip, reaching for Donghyun’s arm, giving it a slight tap. When he received nothing in response, Minwoo sighed to himself, grasping his shoulder and shaking him lightly.

 

The hyung roused awake with a mumble, his brow furrowed, placing his hand on the one that had bothered him. With his other hand, he yanked the earphones from his ears with a lazy tug. Minwoo looked to the three behind them, unable to make eye contact with Donghyun as his eyes fluttered open. He took a shaky breath, his lips before opening his mouth to speak.

 

“Donghyun-hyung...we, ah, we need to wake everyone up,” as the hand on his fell, he pulled his arm away to unbuckle his seatbelt. Donghyun said nothing in reply, opting for a small nod of the head, and made to do the same. The maknae reached over the seat in front of him first, patting a little rhythm on Hyunseong’s chest to wake him. The blonde groaned in the back of his throat, waving his hands away, as if to say five more minutes.

 

Minwoo only hit him with more enthusiasm, until his frustrated hyung decided once-and-for-all to open his eyes and get out of the van. Looking over his shoulder, the youngest boy found that Donghyun had brought them all from their slumber but the stubborn Youngmin. The leader pulled at the oldest twin’s cheeks, yelling into his ear, “Oy, wangohan, get up.”

 

Youngmin was only feigning sleep, clenching his jaw to keep from smiling. The corners of his eyes creased as he shut them tight. Donghyun, narrowing his eyes at his fellow member, dropped his hands to his sides and curled his fingers into firm fists, digging his nails into his palm. His knuckles whitened with tension. “I give up,” he declared at last in a small voice, deciding that any further attempts to get the boy up would end in failure. He heaved a heavy sigh, and turned to exit the van.

 

Minwoo slapped Youngmin’s knee with such fervor, the sound echoed throughout the car, ripping through like a gunshot. His cold “Get up,” was more of a formality than a demand, as the older boy was already halfway out of the cabin as it left Minwoo’s mouth with a harsh taste.

 

***

The awkward trek to their hotel rooms only made the atmosphere between the boys more substantial. The boys packed the elevator like sardines in a can. There was little room for their limbs, let alone their belongings. Donghyun was the first in, backing up into the far corner of the lift. His eyes, Minwoo noticed, were glazed over, reflecting the dim wall lights as he stared at the wall before him. Had he been in a better mood, the boy would have waved a hand in front of him to draw him from his thoughts, but as he was, Minwoo settled for standing next to him. The other four and their manager, sensing the ominous ambience among the leader and their maknae, followed Minwoo’s lead with hesitation.

 

Minwoo reached for Donghyun’s hand, though he did not dare to look at him straight on. His fingers began to curl around his leader’s with caution as he wondered how far he could take it without being snuffed. Their fingers laced together, the tips of Minwoo's twitching against the cold of Donghyun's skin as his digits locked perfectly between the elder's. Minwoo took in a shallow breath, reluctant to continue, curling his fingers around the base of his hand. He inched toward his leader, almost brushing shoulders, when Donghyun waved his hand away, shoving his into his pocket. Minwoo’s breath hitched, fingers grasping the air where the other’s had been, before clenching his teeth and turning his head away in offense.

 

Donghyun darted out as the elevator doors opened with their sharp ping!, jutting past the twins as he made his escape. Youngmin and Kwangmin swirled around to Minwoo for an explanation, and were met with the dismal look of hurt painting his features. They would have commented on his drooping eyes, his puppy-dog frown, had they not born witness to their leader’s coldness. The three of them slogged after their older members, arms linked together, to their suites.

 

***

Minwoo cursed his misfortune when the realization occurred to him that he was rooming with Donghyun. The twins and he parted ways at their room, patting their maknae on the back to wish him well before shuffling into their suite to sleep comfortably for the first time that night. Minwoo waited until their door had closed to head to his own room, biting at the inside of his cheek to keep from muttering profanities to himself. He raked his hand along the wall as he plodded down the hallway, each step more heavy than the last as he neared his room, anxious to find what may lie behind the door.

 

He stopped in front of the suite, his chest tight with unease. Uncertain, he extended his arm to knock, but drew it back in fear. Minwoo lowered his head, desperate for some way to content his hyung, to make him quit his worrying. But no matter how hard he racked his brain for an answer -- nothing. He was far too tired to come up with an answer to solve Donghyun’s attitude problem. He felt defeated, useless, and even considered going back to the twin’s room and asking if he could stay there for the night.

 

He balled his hands into fists at the thought of quitting, knowing well what that would do to his honor and credibility. He reached for the door again, tapping it with his knuckles while pulling the room key out of his pocket with his other hand. “I’m here,” he called into the the black entryway, feeling the wall for the light switch. After wasting time taking his shoes off at a snail’s speed, trying to buy as much time away from Donghyun as he possibly could, he entered the room.

 

Peering around the corner of the walkway into the dim sitting area, Minwoo deemed it safe to proceed, with no other person to run in to. He let out a long sigh of relief, unaware of how much he had wanted to avoid confrontation until he no longer had to worry about it. Donghyun and Hyunseong were probably fast asleep in their beds, too caught up in their dreamlands to wake before morning. Minwoo was free to do as he pleased in the livingroom for the remainder of the night.

 

The bathroom was his first choice after grabbing a loose change of clothes, unable to wear his unbearable layers any longer. He slipped his jacket off and threw it to the ground in a crumpled mess -- two shirts, a decorative skirt, and jeans to follow. Throwing on his loungewear, Minwoo scooped his mountain of clothes from the floor and made to open the door.

 

“Hey!, watch where you’re going,” a deep voice interjected, startling Minwoo as he threatened to drop his massive clothes pile. The owner of the voice clicked his tongue in annoyance, crossing his arms, taking a small step back from the door. The younger boy pushed through, dipping his head to fight shy of his hyung.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Minwoo breathed, hugging the clothes in his arms closer to his body. He sped past Donghyun, slipping into a power walk down the hall, his heart racing with his natural ‘fight or flight’ reflexes. He had almost escaped his leader’s gaze when he called out after him, booming for someone so worn out.

 

“I want to talk to you,” Minwoo gulped at the prospect of being with moody Donghyun for more than a brief moment, but swiveled around to face him. Donghyun took a step into the bathroom, resting his hand on the doorframe before beginning again in a softer tone, “I’ll be out in a minute.” His maknae nodded in understanding, watching him shut the door behind him. He took in a shaky breath and held it for a moment, stomach knotting with trepidation.

 

***

Minwoo sat himself criss-crossed on the couch parallel a weary-looking Donghyun. Deep, purple bags lined his eyes, making his face look pale in comparison. The younger boy assumed he presented just the same -- his exhaustion made it difficult to be afraid any longer. Had his hyung taken a moment’s more time, he’d have fallen asleep where he was seated.

 

A deafening silence fell over them once more, neither one making eye contact or initiating a conversation. Instead, Minwoo grew restless, tapping his knee and biting down on his lip while waiting with growing impatience for Donghyun to address his problem. The man in question, half-perched on the arm of a chair, was deep in thought, wondering how he’d go about starting the exchange.

 

“Hyung, will you please just say whatever’s on your mind?” Minwoo broke the stillness at last, more like a whine or a beg than a question; he couldn’t care whether or not it was disrespectful. His voice shook Donghyun, pulling him back down to Earth. He scanned his fellow member’s face, seeing only the slightest bit of sympathy in his eyes.

 

A long pause, and Donghyun opened his mouth to speak, fingers fumbling around with the hem of his shirt. He glanced down to watch them, breathing in deeply. “Minwoo-yah..,” he faltered as Minwoo shot a look up at him, serious now that he had been addressed by name. “I...I want you to be honest,” Donghyun swallowed, his Adam’s apple bucking up and down, “Am I -- am I old?”

 

Minwoo was taken aback at his leader’s bluntness, surprised that he would call direct attention to it. Donghyun lifted his head only just, trying to search Minwoo’s face for his answer. Minwoo met his gaze, and found that his hyung was close to tears, his eyes red and watering over. He blinked once, twice, three times to clear his vision, but could not stop his tears from falling. His fingers had long stopped messing with his shirt, and were now wiping away at his hot cheeks.

 

“H-hyung..,” Minwoo choked, trying to remember the last time his friend had been this discomposed, knowing well that he had never cried in front of him for reasons other than awards and shows. Seeing him break down was a sensation he had never witnessed, and the sharp pain in his chest told him he never wanted to see it again. “Hyung, please..,” he cooed, body moving on its own toward Donghyun. He rested a hand on his back, patting gently to soothe him. With his other hand, he tilted his hyung’s head upward so he could see his face.

 

Warm, wet trails streaked his flushed skin. Minwoo cupped his leader’s cheek rubbing away the tears with his thumb. The younger boy was so consumed with Donghyun that he hadn’t taken notice of the tears welling up in his own eyes until large droplets gushed down his face like water breaking through a dam. Donghyun clenched his teeth together to restrain himself from crying out, feeling shameful just by letting his friend see him as he was. The tears had a mind of their own, refusing to stop despite his efforts.

 

“You,” the younger boy whispered, coarse through his tears. Donghyun occupied himself with keeping his eyes on the other’s lips; he could not stand himself for being the cause of his precious maknae’s crying. “Donghyun-ah, you are not,” Minwoo paused again, moving the hand that was resting against Donghyun’s back to his other cheek, attempting to make eye contact. “You are not old,” he emphasized with a sharp t, “The hosts...the hosts were rude to you. They should not have said those things.” He his lips as he struggled for the right words to say, to complete his train of thought.

 

“You -- you are our leader. You work the hardest of us all,” his hands were shaking against Donghyun’s skin, his lips quivering with every word he spoke. Donghyun laid his own trembling hands over Minwoo’s, half to calm him, half to calm himself. “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be here -- it’s all thanks to you,” his voice had caught in the middle of his speech, and he was lost to his tears, shaking his downcast head and weeping.

 

“Minwoo-yah,” Donghyun heaved, sounding more like an exhale of breath. He cleared his throat, rubbing his thumbs over the younger boy’s, and then tried once more to speak. “Minwoo-yah...Minwoo-yah, my dear dongsaeng,” he leaned down, resting his forehead against Minwoo’s, wrapping an arm around the boy’s waist to draw him closer. Minwoo jumped at the gentle touch, and brought his head up, tracing Donghyun’s features with his free hand.

 

“Thank you,” was all he said before capturing Minwoo’s lips with his, pressing against them for a soft kiss. Minwoo’s eyes widened, his heart hammering against his rib-cage at his sudden advance. As Donghyun pulled away, trailing light, chaste kisses along the corner of Minwoo’s mouth and jawline, the younger boy took ragged breaths, his mind drawing blanks as he tried to make sense of the situation. “Thank you.”

 

Donghyun kissed Minwoo’s lips a second time, longer, deeper. The younger boy could no longer fight his eyes fluttering shut, tilting his head back to further kiss; his hand s through the back of Donghyun’s hair, at it was his turn to jump at the return of his affection. Each second felt like an infinity, their lips fitting together like puzzle pieces. Minwoo smiled into the kiss, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the bottom of his face. His leader smiled back, forgetting the damp stains from where their tears had fallen before, and instead began to laugh, drawing back and nuzzling into the crook of Minwoo’s neck.


They stayed like that -- standing in the sitting room, embracing one another, and laughing like fools -- for a time, content with just being together. It was only when, placing a kiss to Donghyun’s temple, Minwoo decided to break the silence, running his fingers down the older man’s arms and taking his hands into his own, “Let’s get some sleep, hyung. We’ve had a long day.”

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Pinkunicornsrainbows #1
Chapter 1: Awww it's so cute ^^ i saw it on tumblr too ^^
fishykevinwoo
#2
Chapter 1: This will sound harsh but I swear it's not.
I don't understand it fully at the end but it's not meant to be.
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
I can't understand their sleepless minds and why they suddenly kissed for no reason although their relationship was so innocent (or was it) but hell I'm in love with Donghyun's insecurities that he finds so hard to let on and Minwoo who can't decide if he wants to deal with it or not.
And it feels like a crazy spur of the moment thing that they'd regret the next morning with flushed face and avoiding eyes but secretly smile at their little secret exchange.

No one else came closer to them then each other did.

...sequel? :3