Then & Now

I am sorry for taking so long! 

This review will be short and blunt, so I hope you won't be offended >_<

Grammar

Firstly, your grammar is very bad. English isn't your first language, so I think you are awesome for trying to write in English, but if you are doing so, please find a beta or proofreader. It seemed as if there was a mistake in every sentence. It distracted me from reading because sometimes I had to stop and try to understand what you mean. I think it is the most important to fix this first, before getting into deeper topics such as plot, flow and character development.

Characters

As I said, your grammar took a lot away from the story. Your characters have personality, which is good, but they aren't very likable. It might just be me, but I really do not like any of the characters, especially Luhan. It's important for your readers to like your characters, unless you are making them horrible people to make a point. 

I like how they react to their friends being gay/bi, because there are people like that too, in real life. However, I wish you can also develop their feelings more. For example, try describing how Luhan felt while bullying Xiumin, how he felt when he kept having to lie and hide his true feelings etc. It might also make him more likeable to the readers.

Plot/flow

The problem with 1st person point of view is that it limits the narration to only what one person sees. You solved it by switching points of views throughout. It's okay, but try not to do it so often. Going between Luhan, Xiumin, Kai and third person point of view, and also between past and present, makes things even more confusing. For your future fics, I suggest trying third person point of view, because it's both easy and professional.

Your plot is quite complex though, which I like. There are a lot of sub plots and love triangles, and all the characters are quite important. It's also xiuhan, and I really love xiuhan ^_^

I think this fic has potential, but you really need to find help for your grammar. It's a turn off for many readers.

I hope this helped and I apologize once again.

Please comment after reading!