We fell in love instantly—it was the national gay parade day and somehow my best friend convinced me to go. I’m not the type to blurt out my life, but he said it could be different. That’s how I ended up drunk and dancing to lady gaga like a monkey. My best friend found some guy and they were laughing in the sea of people. I was just minding my business when I felt splash into my face. I coughed as people gasped as I stared at the red paint covering my skin and once white outfit.

“Yah!” I shouted as my best friend came over; his face red with anger, but before he or I could yell at the bastard in front of me. A fist met the cheek of the man in front of me. I looked in shock as you came into my view. You were so handsome hyung—power, intimidating, and all around perfect.

“Hey—are you okay?” I looked over to see that the guy was clearly knocked out cold and my best friend standing in shock with a black haired handsome and tall guy in his arms.

“U-uh yeah—but my outfit is ruin and my face is probably—.”

“Perfect.” Did you know that you stole my heart right then and there? If you didn’t know; now you do. Your warm brown eyes were subtle as they met mine. You then blushed and apologized for being so forward and I kissed you—in front of the world, in front of my best friend, and I loved it. Your lips were painted red now as you stood in shock. I then smirked and apologized for being too forward as well.

You smirked as our eyes stayed connected. You got my name and number that day and I got your beautiful name as well.

“Jonghyun…”

*

I roll over in bed as the warm sun danced over my skin. Waking me from my peaceful sleep—I see your side of the bed is empty and I hear a small cry. I chuckle and hopped out bed and put on a shirt and shorts. I go down the stairs and turn the corner and make my way into the dining room. There you sit as you fuss with our baby boy we adopted four years ago. Can you believe we’ve been married for seven years now? I can’t; it feels so fresh still.

“Come on Hannie—just one bite for daddy. See its good—mmm!” I chuckled as Jeonghan scrunched his nose in distaste. As you took in some of his food, but I chuckle lowly as you make the same face after you eat it.

“What’s going on here?” You sighed in relief as I came in view. You had no shirt on and your hair was disheveled.

“Appa—daddy is trying to making me eat nasty veggies.” Jeonghan whined. His speech was clear as day as he made the same face you do when you hate something. It’s amazing how much he reminds me of you. I stare and couldn’t help but smile at you guys.

“Hannie—daddy is right. Don’t you want to be just as strong as daddy. Big and manly.” You caught my drift and made a muscle with you bicep. Hannie eyes got big as he reached and grasped them.

“So cool—yeah I want to be strong like appa!”

“Then veggies will help you. So what will our big boy do?” Hannie scoped up a spoon full of veggies and began chowing down. You whispered as quick thank you as I laughed and went in the kitchen to get us some food. I felt your arms around me minutes later as you kissed my nape.

“You know I can never understand how he only listens to you.”

“He does take after you the most and I say I have a pretty tight leash on you.” I teased as you smack my making me jump. I glared at you as you stole a long and sweet kiss. I hummed and kissed back eagerly.

“I’m going to miss these lips.” You whispered. I knew what that meant—I have to let you go tomorrow.

“It’s okay—we have computers to Skype. The next year will fly by in no time.” I tried to stay positive. But my heart was burning already—just thinking of sleeping alone without you next to me seems like a bad nightmare.

“It . I can’t touch you like this or hold Jeonghan like I usually do.”

“We can make it. But you need to be safe and come home well and then we can take that big trip we’ve been planning. Taemin said once Minho comes back too we can all go together—they’re bringing Minki as well. Me, you, and Jeonghan away on a beautiful vacation—how does that sound?” You smiled and pecked my lips softly.

“Perfect.” I made us food and got Jeonghan ready to go out for the day. Today we’ll be together—we’ll enjoy the day out like a family is suppose too.

That night you ravished my body once more and I held you closer than ever. I was trying my hardest to imprint your scent in my mind on my skin. Hell—I wanted to swallow whole. You whispered my name as I cried yours. You’re mine Jonghyun—you’re Jeonghans, you’re ours. You’re the air I breathe.

*

“D-Daddy…” I held a crying Jeonghan as you stood in front of us with a sad smile. Handsome as ever in your Army uniform. You said even though we aren’t in Korea no more and now lie in America as Amercian based citizens; you still wanted to serve; so I agreed and let you join the Army along with Minho.

“It’s okay baby—daddy is going to come home and when he does he’ll play and hug you all day long. How does that sound?” Jeonghan just cried as Jonghyun kissed his forehead and my lips. Taemin doing his hardest not to cry as Minki hugged Minho like a vice grip. Always the hard one.

“I’ll bring him home safely Key.”

“You better.” Minho smiled and kissed Taemin and gave a crying Minki to him. We watched as they boarded the bus and sat together. The bus slowly pulled off as they waved goodbye.

“Just come home soon…”

Weeks passed as usual; Jeonghan was starting Kindergarten now. I took pictures for you and sent them to you via email. Time was slower than usual; every night I kiss our son and lay in bed. It was cold in this room Jonghyun—my nights have become restless, but when we chat I make sure to say I’m okay. I can’t have you worried about me. Your pictures around me make me reminisce about our past. The beautiful times we shared together.

I could never imagine having someone so perfect. So I whisper I love you and hug your pillow. It smells like you Jjong. So much like you.

*

It’s been seven months and I haven’t heard from you a while; I’m lonely Jjong. Even Jeonghan can sense my lonely heart. He hugs me and kisses my cheek. Just like you.

“Appa—someone is at the door!” I come out of the kitchen as I answer the door. To my surprise it’s two of your sergeants. They’re quiet; why are they here Jjong?

“Mr. Kibum Kim? Jonghyun Kims’ husband?

“Yes. Is there something wrong?”

“Sir—I am sorry to have to say this. But there was an accident at camp. Mr. Jonghyun Kims’ truck was testing driving when the driver trigger a hidden time bomb. I apologize to say—Mr. Jonghyun Kim did not make it.”

It’s not possible; it’s impossible. You said you were going to come home. I sat in silence as they handed me your badge and flag. My hands trembling; I can’t hear them anymore; I can’t breathe anymore Jonghyun. Give me back my air Jjong. I gasped as I grabbed my heart and collapse. I didn’t realize I was wailing and weeping. I can’t hear or sense anything. I didn’t see as our Jeonghan cried for me.

When I came to I was laying in bed alone. It must have been a dream—a horrid dream.

“Key hyung?” I look up to see a red face Taemin sitting in a chair next to me.

“H-yung?” He hiccupped. I couldn’t stop the endless tears.

“N-No Taemin…n-no. H-He’s not—he can’t b-be.” I sobbed as he climbed into bed and held me close. His sobs matching mine. I cry and cry as I whisper your beautiful name. You promised me—you said that we will last through all time. Jonghyun—how can you leave me here? How can you leave Jeonghan? You promise!

“I-I’m sorry—I’m s-o sorry hyung.” Taemin cried as he rubbed my back as I shook from my violent sobs.

“T-Taemin—wh-what do I do? W-what about H-annie?”

“I’ll h-help you…we’ll help you. Min-ho is asking for permission to leave early. You can do it h-hyung—Jonghyun would want th-at.”

I can’t believe you right now Tae. I can’t even fathom my future anymore—half of my future just vanished like that. How can I possibly survive without him?

I heard a hiccup and saw Jeonghan crying by the door. I jumped up as he ran into my arms.

“Ap-pa what’s wrong?”

“Ap-pa needs to talk to you b-aby.” Taemin made his leave as he went down stairs. I sat Jeonghan next to me as I pushed his bangs back. His handsome face reminds me of yours.

“It’s a-about daddy.” I whispered. I did my best to breathe as Jeonghan looked at me confused.

“Daddy?”

I nodded as I took his little hands in mine.

“Th-there was a bad accident and daddy got h-urt.”

“I-Is daddy okay?” I shook my head no.

“Daddy is-is in that pretty place in the sk-y.” Jonghyun I want to hit you as I watch our baby take in my words. His sweet voice broke into wails as I held him close. Jonghyun what am I suppose to do? He needs you—I need you—we need you. Baby—I love you. How can you leave me so soon?

“I-I’m s-orry bab-y. Ap-pa will pro-tect y-you now. B-but daddy i-is always he-re.” My sobs began twisting my voice as I kissed Jeonghan and rocked his little frame. He cried you for you and it tore me apart, because I can’t heal this wound Jonghyun—how can I, when I’m hurting as well?

“I-I want dad-dy! Appa!”

“I-I know ba-by…I kn-ow…I’ll t-take ca-re of you. I-I’m here.”

That night he cried himself to sleep. Taemin hugged me as he took a crying Minki home. Minho had gotten permission to leave early. He’ll be back in a week.

The week was a blur…a funeral. Your funeral.

Friends from Korea came down. I never seen Amber cry so hard before. Onew? He can’t even look at me or Jeonghan. Minho…he just cried and cried. He apologized to me. He said he was suppose to be with you that, but he over slept. I cried as I hugged him tight. I told him you wouldn’t want that—he has a family too. I’m glad he wasn’t with you. I bet you are too.

Baby—I can’t seem to find reality right now. Jeonghan hasn’t spoken in a week and it scares me. I haven’t slept in days. And I can’t find my heart anymore—I think I know where it is. You stole it as I watch your white casket descend into the earth. We were supposed to be cremated together when we grew super old.

What happened to that promise my love?

It’s the night after your funeral. I’m carrying your flag as Minho placed your Army picture in a corner. Him and Taemin said they’ll come by a few days. Jeonghan is staying with them. They said it was best for me to be alone for now.

“It’s empty love.”

I stare around our home. Memories decorating the house; you walking down the stairs lazily as Jeonghan skipped behind you. You—kissing me in the kitchen. Christmas, Halloween, late nights alone; every beautiful memory so distant now.

I walk to our room and lay down. My tears fall for the thousandth time. It hits me.

Your scent from your pillow. It’s so lonely here—it’s waiting for you to use it. I’m waiting for you to use it. I’m waiting for you. I close my eyes as I felt arms wrap around me. I open them to see you smiling at me.

“J-jong?” You kiss my lips. I sob and hug you close.

“I miss y-ou.”

“Shush baby…I never left. I’m always here. For Jeonghan and you.”

“Y-ou broke your promise.”

“I know love…I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s so lonely…Jonghyun I’m cold. I’m scare. I need you here. I can’t fathom life without your touch, smell, and love.”

“It will get better, but for now let’s sleep. Sleep love—I’m coming home.”

I like that…come home to me. I miss you...

Sleep love—I’m coming back…

Sleep—I’m coming home to you…

I love you Kibummie…and I’m sorry

I love you…

I broke my own heart writing this; I literally had to stop writing to stop my tears. T.T

I have no idea why I wrote this sad one shot but after re-listening to Trey Songz – Yo Side of The Bed. It hit me. What would it feel like to lose everything you love in an instant?

I hope you enjoy this angsty Jongkey, but I really couldn’t help it. I'm sorry...I'm going to bed now...T.T

Anneyong

Kori<3