Kai's POV

" How much do you love me?" She asked me that silly question again while watching me reading her new ' novel' closely. Yes, my girl wrote novels and some kind of short stories that only girls would like to read. But i would always be the first one ti try it. That what makes her happy then i'm okay

" it depends" i took a sips a the coffee on the table and continued reading again.

" on what?" She asked again like a curious kitty wondering why her master was always a mystery. 

" on how long i can live. Now, let me read the 'novel', okay?" I pattef her head and she obiediently enjoyed her hot chocolate in silence, a happy silence. Today, coffee tasted sweet as much as chocolate.

" Oh, you are late" yeah, i was late again. The rain was still dropping outside the window. She was waiting for me again. Today she looked upset like normal. I can't cope up with her attitude anymore. The cup of coffee that she ordered for me had been cold like the rain outside. I sighed and sat down at the opposite chair and took another sip of coffee.

" i was in a meeting" i lied. I just sat in the office without doung anything. I didn't want to meet her on time. That's all. 

" oh......" And then we both fell into silence again. Damn, cold coffee tasted terrible.

" so, what would you like to do this weekend? I have something new to show you" oh, another weekend was coming. Something new again? Must be a new novel.

" i'm busy this whole weekend" i lied again. I just had a date, exactly, a date with my friends. I had spent too many weekends with her.

" oh......" God damn it. Coffee always tasted this plain?

" Happy our 5th anniversary. Baby, this is your gift" i showed her a bonquet of roses. Her favorite flower and smiled as bright as i could. 

" oppa..."

" ? "

" let's break up" she said something. Oh, it sounded kind weird. She was breaking up with me? Oh, why today?

" Can i ask you why?"

" your secretary told me about you and her. I don't think that we should really continue a fake relationship like this" she said while looking at the roses. Ah, my secretary a.k.a my new girl. How long had she known it? Is it the reason her sad face all the time lately? She should have told me sooner. Maybe.... No.... We could have a better day to say break up. We just fell apart.

" oh, today chocolate tasted bitter. Did the shop owner forgot to put some milk? " She asked as she took a sip a her hot- turn- into cold chocolate. Maybe he did forget.

I woke up due to the noise of the alarm clock. Oh gosh, i dreamt of the past. How long has it been since i last i had a dream of my first love? I couldn't remember it. It's so weird. It's been like two years since we broke up. Ah, this must be the side- effect after getting back to Korea. The last time i was here, the memories were actually hunting me. It's not like a nightmare or anything bad but sometimes it makes you feel sad. Actually, i did cheat on her- my first love. We both met in the last years of college. I actually had a few girlfriends before but she was the first one that made me feel love for real. So i choose her to be my first love. The term of love between us was so normal like any other couples. We hang out together, shared our stories, talked about the future and dreams, did many crazy things and ended up regretting about it a lot. She would have been like other girlfriends of mine if she had been normal but she hadn't been one. She was smart, beautiful and crazy. She accepted me for who i am. But she was a weird girl. And i fell in love with her in the way that i could never have understood. But then i was the one who cheated. It's not like that i didn't love her anymore or anything but we started feeling nothing around each other. We barely got time for love, we were busy and i started forgetting about our dates, promises and everything. And i got bored with her. And that moment, another girl who is my girlfriend right now stepped into my life. She is bright and funny, she knows how to make you laugh instead of making thousands of question and being sad whenever i made her upset. And i decided that we could have a few dates, a little time from the time with my real girlfriend. Until the day she told me that we needed a break-up on our 5th anniversary. I didn't feel upset that much but i could see the disappointment in her eyes. And it was actually the last time i saw her from that time. And the i moved to another country for my job and here i came back here with a dream of her. How nostalgic......

Walking around the city, many things did change. I walked and walked until my feet brought me to the old coffee shop that we used to date. Oh, it's still here. I'm dying to have a taste of coffee here because the shop owner knows how to make the best coffee. I pushed the door opened. Oh, everything is just the same even the decorations and the shop owner. He regconized me and showed me a same smile everytime i got here. Minseok, it's his name if i'm not wrong. 

" Long time no see. Why haven't i seen you around? Still the same favor?" He asked me as he saw me walking closer.

" yeah. It's been awhile. I've been abroad for my job. Same black coffee" 

" is it? I thought that you two did broke up or something that i don't get to see you. She's just got here too" he smiled at me again before getting back in track of making the best coffee ever. 

'She'? Who is she? My girlfriend? Minseok doesn't know her right? And then it was like being hut by the lightening. No way that she came here. I make my steps slowly and there she is, still sitting at the same spot and looking outside with her hot chocolate. Still the same even every feature, my first love. I walked closer and closer and took the same opposite seat and tapped the table to get her attention. She turned around with her eyes full of tears and a surprised look. She was crying? Why was she? But then she wipe all the tears quickly and showed me her bright smile again. How long haven't we met? And how long since the last time she cried besides me? 

" oppa? What are you doing here? She asked surprisingly

" to see you cry" i smiled vefore handing her my handkerchief. 

" aigoo, not like that. When did you get back?"

" last week" i looked at her again and smiled before we both fell into silence again. I started noticed things around. There is no smoke from her chocolate. It's not hot anymore. She loved hot chocolate not cold ones. I turned around and asked Minseok if i can have another hot chocolate instead of coffee. And everything is okay. I took the cold chocolate back to my side and let her have the new cup. She smiled at my gesture and started drinking.

" were you waiting for someone?" I asked trying to break the ice and get to know the reason behind her tears. 

" my boyfriend. And you? Are you still with that girl?" I nodded and started wondering again. Her boyfriend? Was he always this late? The chocolate wasn't hot anymore. How long did she waited? How long did she cry? Did she cry when she was waiting for me too?

" hey, i heard that your novels are always in the top best sellers list. Congrate"

" oh, you heard. I'm very happy with that. Did you read any of them?"

" oh, please, i read all of them right? Even before they were published" we both laughed at our joke before the silence took it place again.

" so.... Why did you get back here? She asked me lightly and her eyes started wandering outside. We actually don't have much eye contact since i got here.

" to get married. I'm getting married next month" i said it truthfully. I'm having a wedding soon. And the girl who i had an affair with is my soon-to-be - wife. She laughed and clapped her hand before sipping the cocolate. It's still hot as the beginning.

" oh god, oppaaaa. Congratulation" i nervously laughed and took the first sip. Wow, talking about wedding with your ex. Well, everything feels so weird and the chocolate is weird too.

" so when will you get married too?"

" i don't know. I'm thinking about break-up actually" i choked after hearing her answer. Always so straight- forward. Is that the reason of her tears too? Did she cry like that before  we broke up too? I wonder.

" so you will break up on your anniversary too?" I joked and we both laugh. The answer ' maybe' made me thinking. 

" oppa, have you ever wondered... What if we did'nt break up? Will we get married too?" She asked, this time, looking right into my eyes. Ah, have i ever wondered? Actually, a few times. I did want to marry her and build a family with her. We will have kids, a big house, hanging out at the weekends, picnics.... So manything. But it's just something unreal when we get to the reality. 

" oppaaaa, i'm just kidding. Why do you have to think so seriously?" She laughed and looked outside again. Ah, it's joke. But i haved myself wonder too long. But then, i notice the changed expression on her face. She looked at a car and a man was walking out of it. She smiled sadly before getting up and thanked me for the hot chocolate. The shop owner looked surprisingly at me when he saw her outside with another man and kissed his cheek. I smiled at him and told him that we broke up a long time ago. The show owner nodded and sadly smiled at me. Didn't he know it? He never saw her with another man in here. That's weird. I drank the weird chocolate and got surprised by an firgur next to me. Oh, it's still her. I looked outside i saw the man waiting for her.

" oppa, remember to send me the invitation to your wedding okay?"

" okay" i laughed again. This girl.

" is it okay if that day i looked dreadly beautiful? Definitely better than today" she smiled.

" no problem" she happily smiled and jumped like a kid and gave me a friendly hug. Ah, it's been a long time too.

" ah, oppa, today chocolate tastes totally sweet" ah, right. I always drink black coffee and enjoy the bitter taste so i found it weird to have chocolate. But black coffee or chocolate, they both have undefined taste like our love. My first love. Sometimes it tastes sweet, sometimes plain, bitter. We couldn't understand it. But the tastes will always remind us of the memories that we could never erase it. 

She didn't come to my weddung even i sent the invitation. But later that day, one friend of us gave me a card with her hand writing on it and a picture of her with her stunning dress. She said that she would come and showed me that dress if she could but she couldn't so she sent me a photo. She is dreadly beautiful. Actually she broke up with her boyfriend on the day i met her because a friend told me that it's her aninversary that day. And she moved to America two weeks later. It's just sad how i didn't know about it. But at least that day the hot chocolate tasted sweet as she likes. I hope that she would be happy and never have to break up on her anniversary anymore. So what does your first love taste like?