Okay Guys. So most of the conversations will be in english, but I'll indicate if they're not

Korean conversations will be italicised, English conversations will be kept as regular.

Quietly knocking the wall beside the doorway to make my presence known to the figure sprawled on the table. Looking up with a shocked yet handsome face and bright sparkling eyes, was my bias. Hong Jisoo. Dumbfounded, I begun to pinch my arms but I didn't flinch. Maybe because I was too stunned to be in the same room as the person I looked up to. Thinking it was a dream, I slapped myself in the face lightly but harder than a light slap until he shot up from his chair, scraping the chair on the floor and causing a squeak. In a matter of seconds, his face was in front of me as he bent down a little to look straight into my eyes. Those brown orbs seemed to be unraveling my whole being, unlocking all my secrets and opening the door to my feelings. Embarrassed I looked at the floor, as my mind began to register that this isn't a dream. I'm awake, this is reality.

"Why did you do that?"

Completely confused as to what he was referring to, I looked up puzzled and slightly distracted by his handsome face. Gently taking my arm in one hand and my face in the other, he started to the area’s I had abused.

“Ah. I thought this was a dream.”

“Why would this be a dream?”

“Because, what would an idol be doing in the same room as me, right in front of me and look so concerned about me. These things only happen in dreams.” Ashamed and flustered, I looked back down to the floor. After a few minutes of somewhat comfortable silence, as I looked at the floor and felt him analysing me as though that was the first time he had ever heard that, Jisoo broke the silence;

“Hey, you never had your tea. Would you like some?”

Aaah, Gentleman Joshua really is real.

“... Yes please.”

Jisoo guided me to the chair opposite his, facing the kitchen sink. I watched as he filled the kettle up with new water and placed it on the base. I noticed just how broad his shoulders were and how his hair would move ever so slightly as he walked from each spot and his cute little frown on his face as he concentrated at the task at hand, sure putting water in the kettle isn’t hard but as he furrowed his brows in concentration it gave me the time to sit and observe him. He looked tired. Worn out. I hope it wasn’t his bed I was sleeping on. I wouldn’t want to be a nuisance. Oh. I’m having these thoughts again. These thoughts were constantly running through my mind day and night, when I’m with my family, my friends and even when I’m alone. They never stop. It never gives me peace. Perhaps, if I had never been born my father wouldn’t have been so stressed about work and life. Maybe then he’d have fought strong and made it through. Maybe my mother wouldn’t have suffered so much. Perhaps my older siblings wouldn’t have been worried about me travelling overseas alone, and been able to see the changes in my mother's physical and emotional health. Everything would have worked out better had I not been born.

Ah. The doctor told me to stop these thoughts. To click a pen, or snap a rubber band around my wrist to snap me out of it. But no pen was in sight. And my rubber band had snapped earlier at the cafe. Feeling the tears well up at the base of my eye, I covered my face and tried to stop myself from whimpering and crying like a child. A quiet house with a single light on didn’t improve my current mindset. Sensing a pair of warm arms wrap around my body, a head rest against my head and a hand rubbing my back my tears came to a stop. Looking back up, Jisoo’s worried face came into view.

“What happened? Don’t cry. It’ll be alright.” Keeping an arm wrapped around my shoulder, he slid the cup of tea in front of me and grabbed my hands to help them hold the mug. My hands were trembling, not because of the cold. But because I felt so empty after crying so much. Boldly looking right up at him, I opened my mouth to speak when we heard some squeals of pain coming from the room I came from. Worried about what could be happening, I quickly ran to the room, only to find a few of the members had woken up and were trying to leave the room, however they weren’t very good at it, as they woke everyone up by stepping on the others. Chuckling quietly, I didn’t realise Jisoo looking down at me smiling.

Turning on the light for everyone to see the way, they all looked up. Chan, the youngest jumped on me causing me to fall back and be caught (again) by Jisoo.

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