the slow pull of warm coffee invading his nose is what wakes taekwoon up that morning, if he stretches his legs out he’ll be able to kick jaehwan and if it’s his arms then it’s hakyeon he’s touching. so he stays still, for a few seconds longer, a few minutes longer that he can feel the heat creep into his senses and numb him. when he opens his eyes it’s still dark, almost pitch black aside from the pale blue outline of light sneaking around to turn everything into heavy casted shadows. taekwoon doesn’t move, only listens silently when the bedroom door opens and the smell of coffee grows stronger as hongbin walks in, the smell sticking to him like a cloud of rain. he closes his eyes again, the filtering yellow light pouring into the room as hongbin shuffles around quietly so as to not wake up the others.

taekwoon knows. he use to wonder why so early in the mornings would he smell coffee, on their days off when only jaehwan and hakyeon lay beside him and hongbin was no where to be found except behind the door with the yellow light and streams of caffeine swimming in the air.

when hongbin leaves, he doesn’t close the door all the way. taekwoon lets out a hidden breath, small and silent, just like his feelings. he can hear hongbin’s voice, the soft lilt of it when he speaks and he can hear sanghyuk’s stifled laughter.

it’s been maybe three months, he figures since this started happening. since the sneaky whispers and not so subtle glances. taekwoon wonders if maybe it started happening even before he noticed, part of him prays that he’s the only one who does notice though.

he shivers a little when he hears sanghyuk say something, words nearly muted and mixed together in a tangle of warmth and lost feelings. even though taekwoon has the covers pulled up to his ears, he still feels cold, still feels the icey burn of sanghyuk’s touch on his skin and in his ears and heart and mind. he screws his eyes shut, blanks out his mind but he can’t drown out the sound of sanghyuk with the sound of nothing. hongbin leaves first, goes to wake up wonsik or something and then taekwoon knows it’s just sanghyuk now, sitting on the living room floor, a dying cup of coffee in his hands and a small grin of victory plastered somewhere on that beautiful face of his.

taekwoon in a small breath, feels hakyeon shift besides him and instinctively goes still.

suddenly, he hears the front door open and close and briefly wonders what that’s all about until the bedroom door squeaks open slowly, feet quietly dragging closer to where he’s sleeping at. he thinks it’s hongbin going back to bed until he feels fingers much too cold brush against the side of his nape.

“hyung.” it’s sanghyuk. small, bitter, cold sanghyuk whispering in his ear. “hyung, wake up. i made coffee.”

taekwoon mumbles a reply, eyes still shut and breathing even, his heart erratically trying to make a break for it through his chest. sanghyuk doesn’t say anything else after that, just caresses the back of taekwoon’s neck, fingers grazing his hair and nails lightly scratching his skin. after a long, frozen moment, sanghyuk pulls away and taekwoon can hear him leave, hears him close the door and shuffle away.

when taekwoon gets up that morning, he sees hakyeon and wonsik arguing about something, jaehwan cuddling a bowl of cereal in his arms with his eyes half open, and hongbin mumbling something against the shell of sanghyuk’s ear. he doesn’t know he’s staring until the younger smiles at him, small and inviting and taekwoon turns to go look for the pot of still warm coffee, his fingers tangling in the fabric of his worn t-shirt.