We just had a fight, we said things we did not mean and now you are leaving and I cannot stop you. You are putting on your shoes. My voice is gone, my tears are dried up. I should say sorry, but that won’t change anything, our fighting will not stop. It is always the same two things! My out of control partying and your alcoholism. I go out to forget my problems, to release my stress in the dance floor and then I come home to find you completely drunk. We yell at each other and end up sleeping in separate rooms still angry at each other.

I am fool just staring at your back. My chest hurts, I cannot breath, I cannot breath. I want to stretch out my hand and hold you. When I look up you are gone. I rush to the front door and see you at the end of the hall. You have become a small dot, you turn the corner and disappear. Will this be the last time? It seems like this is a real break up. I clench the door frame, angry tears start to flowing down. How dare you leave me! How dare you! I slam the door shut and slide down to my knees clenching my fists. I hate you!

I look up and see some of your toys on the table. I snatch them and throw them across the living room. I go to your closet, grab your suits and start ripping them apart. You have destroyed me, you have broken me so I will break everything you love. I go to your designer chair in the corner and start kicking it and throwing it around the room. I am so frantic I do not hear Taeyang enter. Next thing I know he is pulling me out your room. I thrash around.

“Let me go! Let me go! I should kill him!” I yell, but Taeyang only looks at me with pity in his eyes. It only makes me angrier. I do not need him to pity me. I turn around and hit him square in the face. “I said let go of me!”

I shut myself in my room. What happened to us? We were so happy before. We would joke around and flirt wherever we could. I am face down in my bed when I hear a knock in my room, I ignore it and fall asleep.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It has been I week since our break up. I been going clubbing each night trying to forget him, but my heart still hurts and I still have a hard time breathing. I have seen you a couple of times in the studio and that is the thing, no matter what happens in our personal life we will never be able to be truly apart. You seemed composed, like this break up has not affected you at all. I should have treated you better when I had you, now it is too late.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It has been two weeks, I saw you with a girl at a restaurant. Have you met someone new? You seem happier. Will I also feel better if I meet someone?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It is raining today. You love the rain. I take the photo I have of us out my drawer. Do you remember when we went to Jeju Island? I think that was the happiest day of my life. My tears fall down onto the photo. I still love you and anyone with eyes can see that. I thought with time my feelings would pass but it seems like time is only making this worse. If it is not too late, can’t we get back together?

I hear footsteps outside my door. I am sure it is you. I hear a knock. Should I answer? I put the photo back and go to the door. I stand with my hands on the knob.

“If you are struggling like I am. Can’t we make things work?” I whisper. I can hear my own heartbeat. It feels like hours have passed.

“Yes we can” I hear you finally whisper. I open the door and you pull me into a hug. I will never let you go again.

A/N: I know I should be working on my other fics T_T but I just had to write this short entry. I loved “If you” and the live countdown created so many gtop feels XC