Final
Second"On stage in 10!!"
Upon hearing that, Jongin quickly fixed his collar and did a few encouraging jumps to get his body hyped up for the performance. The rest of the members were already lined up and ready in position, he was the only one still getting ready like he always did before performing.
"You can do this!" He whispered to himself before joining in the line, walking right past Kyungsoo to stand at the front. The crowd was already cheering for them and the huge stage was ready for their appearance. Although they'd went through this process a hundred times before, Jongin's heart was still beating as if this was his first time performing for his fans.
"Go go go!"
Jongin began running into his position on stage to begin the performance. He glanced beside him to see Kyungsoo, who was busy looking at another member as they walked into their position.
Jongin turned back to the front where his fans were cheering. His heart wasn't beating crazily because of the performance anymore, it was more like heartbreak.
Jongin was in love, he even confessed thinking the other felt the same way due to their constant fanservices, and how they just understood each other so well, but, it was all his misunderstanding. He confused friendship with love. He confused himself and fell in love when all Kyungsoo meant was for them to become great friends.
At the end of the concert, sweat coating their bodies, and exhausted, the group ran off the stage after their farewell. The staffs behind stage congrats them on their successful work, patting them on the backs and clapping. For a moment, jongin could forget that Kyungsoo wasn't standing by his side, for a moment, he could remember that he was just a friend to Kyungsoo and the cheers he received now was his one way out from being so depressed about everything.
His fans make him happy, getting attention from staffs and people make him happy. For the one attention he wanted was given to someone else.
"Great job man, you really rocked the stage Jongin!" It was Chanyeol, the giant who was always happy about everything. It was Chanyeol, someone Jongin wanted to hate, but couldn't, because who could hate a guy as nice and kind as Chanyeol? Sure he could be a jerk sometimes with his stupid jokes, but inside he's really a good man.
A man too good that maybe he did deserve Kyungsoo.
Jongin sighed and offered him a wide smile, "Thanks! You sure you didn't rock it too? We all rocked it!"
Jongin could see a head behind Chanyeol's shoulder. It was no other than Kyungsoo. They never trail far from another after any concert or show. They were like two peas in a pod.
The Tom and Jerry thing they had going on in front of the cameras and the fans, it was a nice show to watch, most of the members enjoy their play, but behind camera, it's another story. "Channie...."
There it was.
Chanyeol eyed him and Jongin nodded. "Go on. Give your boyfriend some attention," Jongin turned to walk the other way, "seems like he wants to talk or something." He didn't look back to see their hug, or the way they looked each other so lovingly in the eyes.
He bit back the bubbling anger, that quickly turned to self pity. Who was he to be so angry? What rights did a mere friend like him have to act so angry when boyfriends want to talk to each other?
He had no right.
Jongin went to change out of their performing clothes, and wiped off the sweat and make up, revealing his true skin underneath. There were some acne here and there, some fresh popped pimples because Jongin couldn't stand its redness. He sighed. He looked horrible with the dark eye circles and skin problem. He hated himself for looking like that.
Compared to Chanyeol, there was a huge difference. The giant had his own skin problem as well, but he didn't have as much as Jongin. All the stress must be getting to him, even affecting his skin as well.
At the dorm, Jongin goes straight to the living room and sat down, while others fight to enter the bathroom for a quick shower to end their miserable sweaty body. Tao was the first to enter, dragging a pouting Baekhyun with him into the bathroom.
Jongin chuckled as the others spread out into their rooms. His eyes follow Kyungsoo's figure, followed by Chanyeol. They both enter their shared room, and when the door closes, Jongin pulled out his phone and plug in his earbuds to distract himself from any sound coming from inside. It was better to ignore it than acknowledge it.
When it was Jongin's turn to shower, the water was already icy cold. But he enjoyed it though, the icy water running down against his body to numb away any pain. He made sure to stay in there as long as he could then went out where his clothes had been prepared on the counter. He wondered if it was a good idea to sleep in their shared room. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol probably would want some private time together.
Jongin didn't enter the room, instead went to the living room to sit down in the empty space. Their manager was out today, knowing they wouldn't do much but sleep. The housekeepers didn't stay too late to cook and clean. Jongin was alone.
He laid back against the soft sofa and put his feet up on the center marble table. He could just sleep on there and lie that he accidentally fell asleep after playing games on his phone. But, he left his phone when he went to get his clothes earlier. Jongin sighed at his stupid self.
He was about to close his eyes and let sleep take over when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, it wasn't surprising to see Kyungsoo. It was always Kyungsoo who'd come looking for him when he went missing. It was the one misunderstanding that confused Jongin. "Hey what are you doing still up? Were you planning on watching something?"
"No," Jongin answered, keeping his head low, "just - wanted to get some alone time. Clear the stress and stuff."
"Want me to massage your head for you?"
"No! Err I just..need time alone Hyung, thanks though. You should go back to sleep."
Kyungsoo stifled a yawn, "Ahhh alright. Come sleep too okay? Don't stay up too late, that'll worsen the stress, and if you need any food, just wake me up, I'll gladly cook for you, okay?"
"Yeah, thank you."
"No problem!"
Jongin didn't return to the room. He'd been holding onto his one-sided love for almost two years. It was about time Jongin gave up and let himself loose from the constant pain. He was sick of himself for being such a weak person, wanting to give up, but in the end, the little things Kyungsoo did for him would draw him back.
He just wanted Kyungsoo to notice him in more ways than a friend would. To hold him, kiss him, touch him. Jongin wished he was Kyungsoo's boyfriend instead. He wished Chanyeol wasn't such a fun guy, annoying, but loving so that Kyungsoo would fall for Jongin.
Jongin squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from seeping. He was a man, and men shouldn't cry from heartbreaks. They should be strong, keep their cool and know how to restrain themselves from wanting something that wasn't theirs.
Jongin cried anyway. He was at his limits.
Jongin rolled over, stretching his legs out until he heard a few cracks in his bones. A sniff of the air made him flutter his eyes open. The smell of breakfast. The smell was stronger than usual, were the housekeepers making something to fill the whole table?
Jongin brought his hand up to rub his tired eyes, noticing how it was unusually quiet. The members always woke up first before him and would cause a ruckus in the dorm, playing and yelling as if they didn't know someone was still asleep in their room.
Jongin yawned loudly, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. His face felt weird, and as he poked it, he noticed the dry tears on his cheeks. Oh right, he was crying the night before. A frown fell upon Jongin's lips as he sat up. He was about to get off his comfortable bed when he noticed there was only one bed in the room, which was the one he was on.
Where was the bunk bed for two, him and Chanyeol? Where was Kyungsoo's bed?
And most importantly, why was the room so much smaller than their shared room? Everything in the room was neat, and tidy, but still had a cozy vibe to it.
Jongin panicked. He was in a room unknown to himself. Was this a prank the members pulled on him? He would be so pissed if Chanyeol or Jongdae popped out the closet laughing.
He got off slowly, scared that a single sound could alarm someone he didn't know. The silence was killing him, and he really hoped that everything was just a bad dream that somehow seemed so damn real.
Jongin gulped and went for the only door that should lead to somewhere. He grasped the brass knob and twisted it, a little click rippled through the silence as he pulled slowly. The crack in the opened door now allowed sound to travel through and enter Jongin's ear.
Humming.
Someone was in the place too.
He took a deep inhale before stepping out. This wasn't the dorm, Jongin was sure now. Everything just felt so different, and if it was the dorm, someone should be running down the hall .
His first step into the center of the hallway earned himself a loud squeak. The humming didn't stop though.
Jongin mentally sighed and went for another step. Luckily there weren't anymore squeaks. He wondered if he should try to find a phone and call for the police, obviously he'd been kidnapped while he was sleeping in the dorm living room.
As he got closer, the humming grew louder, and that's when he noticed that's it's Kyungsoo's voice. He'd recognize it anywhere.
Calmness surrounded Jongin in a blanket, cozy and warm. As long as Kyungsoo was near, it would be fine.
He had questions to ask though. Where were they? Where were the EXO members? Just what the heck happened?
Quickly forgetting about being sneaky, Jongin took long strides and tried to follow the humming until he came to an opening that was the living room. To the left was the kitchen, and when he looked carefully, there he was, back towards Jongin, in a pink apron, and still stirring something in the pot.
A relieved smile fell on Jongin's lips, he was glad it really was Kyungsoo.
"Hyung!"
Kyungsoo turned around, a huge smile on his lips, something Jongin hadn't seen given to him in a while. It was always Chanyeol who got to see it behind camera.
"Oh! Jongin you're awake! Hmm.." He narrowed his eyes at Jongin, making him nervous that he had done something to upset Kyungsoo, "Are those dried tear stains?"
Jongin blushed. He knew he should've at least wiped his face before getting up. "Uh..drool?" He tried, shrugging a little bit. If Kyungsoo was here then Chanyeol shouldn't be far off somewhere, it only made sense if the giant showed up suddenly.
"Ahaha! You big baby, that's so cute!"
Jongin raised his eyebrows at the choice of words. He didn't have time to process anything, before he knew it, soft lips were already planted on his own and his head turned into a blank slate.
"Go wash your face. Breakfast is almost done." Kyungsoo said against his lips.
Questions forgotten, Jongin obediently did as he was told. He struggled to find the right door that led to the bathroom, and when he'd found it, he noticed how his toothbrush and everything he needed on his daily morning was on the shelves by the side.
The only odd thing(s) was that the makeup remover all the members used to remove makeup after work wasn't around, and everything that should belong to the members were nowhere to be found.
Jongin's heart was beating so quickly, he thought he was going to have a heart attack and die right there. His face must be red, for he felt hot, and light headed. The way Kyungsoo's lips touched his, it was something Jongin had yearned for as long as he started loving Kyungsoo.
He didn't understand much yet, but, he'd rather not find out what was going on. Things were weird, yes, and finding out what was going on should be his top priority but Kyungsoo kissed him first, and that was all that mattered.
All those years piled up together, watching Kyungsoo and Chanyeol do so much but having no power to stop it, and wanting so much but having no right to do anything, now, they've all resurfaced at once and blocked all his senses. Jongin just wanted so much right now.
The person in the mirror had flawless skin, almost perfect even. No acne, no pimples. It was perfect without makeup. Jongin smiled at himself, examining the parts that usually had acne, which would be his jawline and on his cheek.
Jongin washed up without much thought, and when he was done, he hurried back. He wanted to see if things were actually happening, what if he went into the bathroom and came back out with all the members around?
The kitchen was still empty except for Kyungsoo when he got there. Relief washed over Jongin's whole body.
"Smells good.." He said the moment he'd went close enough.
"Ahh thanks Jongin," he paused to taste the food, "so, today's Saturday, no school. What do you wanna do? We could just watch movies and such."
Jongin wanted to do something he never got to do, something he wished he could do everyday, "I want to kiss you, and then hold you. And I want to tell you how much I love you Hyung."
"Really now? That's so sur........prising Jongin." Kyungsoo chuckled, "We've established that we like each other and all...and we've went pretty far down the road, but this is the first time you've said that. It makes me happy...to know that you feel the same."
"I love you, I've always had." Jongin blurted. He wanted to get it out, let Kyungsoo know that he loved him so much it hurt. If they could just get married, he would have proposed already.
"Jongin...I..I love you too, always." He smiled, turning off the stove to spread his arms out, "How about that kiss?"
This time, Jongin made sure to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo's waist and hold him tight as he kissed back. He'd dreamed for so long they he got to do this, and having it right now never made Jongin happier. He must've held on too tight, not before long, he was pushed back, "Oh my goodness Jongin, are you trying to squeeze me to death?"
"I-I..no, I just...I don't want to let go." Jongin mumbled sadly.
"I'm not going anywhere, what's gotten into you?" Kyungsoo chuckled, "you seem strange, was it a dream? Did something happen in that dream?"
Jongin stared at Kyungsoo deep in thoughts, a dream huh? "Yeah, it was a nightmare. You were in love with someone else and...I couldn't do anything about it. I could only watch and wither away." Please let it be a dream, and make this his reality.
"It's alright now. I don't love anyone else, it's just you. It's been you since high school." Kyungsoo rubbed Jongin's shoulder soothingly, "Honestly, I was the one watching and withering away while you and your ex-boyfriend, our friend now Chanyeol, did everything together. Back in high school, the two of you were so clingy it actually hurt to watch, but after senior year, you two broke up and we moved here together. And I guess, that's when you started liking me back too. We've only recently started dating Jongin, but I love you dearly already, just know that okay?"
This world was different, in this world, it had been Kyungsoo who suffered the pain. How ironic. Jongin nodded and leaned in to hug Kyungsoo. Wherever he was, wherever he woke up to, he didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay forever and feel Kyungsoo's love.
At night, as they both lay on the only bed in the room, Jongin held tightly to Kyungsoo in fear that the next day he woke up, Chanyeol would have him back, and Jongin would be in pain again. He held tightly, not knowing when would be his last minute so close to Kyungsoo like this.
Jongin couldn't remember when he fell asleep, but as he reached over to feel his side, it was just an empty lump of bed sheets. A small knowing smile appeared on his lips as he silently accepts that that dream was the best one he'd had. It felt so real to have Kyungsoo in his arms. It felt so good to hold him and kiss him.
But how pathetic.
Jongin was pathetic to want something so bad like that. He pitied himself. Just how much more pain must he go through to realize that -
Humming.
There was humming, and there was no noise. The whole dorm, or so he thought, was quiet, void of any screaming member, and as he sat up to look around the room, he noticed there was still just one bed. The room was still smaller, just as how he remembered it from the day before.
The door opened to reveal Kyungsoo, in the same apron. "Hey Jong! Wake up already! You can give me a hand too, you know."
Jongin nodded. "I'm up."
College wasn't at all what Jongin had in mind. He always envisioned it as going to class, going through a lecture, and then returning home to finish whatever assignment there was. Instead, college was actually pretty easy. There was always some free time to chat freely, and, it's understandable.
The only thing hard about college was the part time job he had that was interlocking with his college classes. After class, he'd hurry to work. You see, without the work, college would be much easier.
Everything was still pretty new to Jongin. Especially the part where he didn't have to worry about a concert schedule, or a practice schedule at SM's practice room. Now, he had to memorize his college schedule, and working on how to arrange enough time so he had enough fanned out to share some time with Kyungsoo too.
On weekdays, it's so busy, they hardly have time to be together except at night. Jongin had started to really look forward to weekends where they spend all day together, no classes, and no work.
"Jongin, rent is coming soon, let's gather up the money." Kyungsoo called from their bedroom. Jongin was busying himself with popcorn and a horror movie. It was always good to watch in broad daylight, that way when something creepy appears on the screen, it's less likely to scare him. Weren't ghosts afraid of light?
"Yeah! I put mine in the drawer, second down." He said back.
"Oh, by the way, Chanyeol texted me, he said he's gonna come over."
Jongin froze. He didn't care that in this world Chanyeol was his ex, but he still didn't know if he could bear to see Chanyeol with Kyungsoo again. "Really? Why?"
"He just said that. I don't know actually, maybe he just wants to talk."
"He can't come over." The words came out without much thought. Chanyeol, why was it that its always him between them? Even now, did he have to come? If he was really their friends, why couldn't he texted Jongin? Why text Kyungsoo?
"What? Why Jongin...you usually like it when Chanyeol comes over." Kyungsoo appeared at the end of the hall holding his bag of money inside. "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just.....don't want him over."
"Then–" the knocking at their door cut him off. Jongin stiffened as Kyungsoo rushed over to open it. When the door was fully opened, he could see Chanyeol.
"Hey Kyungsoo! Hey Jongin! Long time no see eh? Just kidding, anyway, may I come in?"
Kyungsoo stepped aside with a chuckle to let him through then close the door behind them. The taller came and sat beside Jongin comfortably as he stretched, "Ahhh so tired, got anything to eat?"
Jongin turned his gaze to Kyungsoo. He was feeling uncomfortable with Chanyeol so close to him like that. Just when Jongin was about to say something, Kyungsoo cut him off. "No, but I'll go buy something! I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"
He was already out the door before Jongin could muster a word. He wanted to go too. Although they were friends in the other world, Jongin didn't know if he would want to be friends with Chanyeol in this world as well.
"How have you been Jongin? The last time I came was a month ago," Chanyeol started. Jongin kept his gaze on the horror movie as he half listened, he wasn't interested in that. "Miss me?"
With that surprising question, Jongin looked over, only to be forcibly pulled into a kiss. He was already pushed down on the sofa and Chanyeol was crawling on top of him. "You taste so ing good Jongin, you know that? Even though I have Baekhyun now, you're still my favorite toy."
Jongin's eyes widened at the sudden attack and information, "I still remember how you begged me to take you back when I found a new toy, such a . How's things with Kyungsoo, have you liked him yet?" Chanyeol was kissing down the expanse of his neck, but he couldn't bring himself to move. What was Chanyeol saying?
"He's the only one you've got to turn to in the end, of course you like him right? Or are you just using him as my replacement?"
Replacement?
Jongin punched Chanyeol square in the face, and slid off the sofa as fast as he could to get away. He wasn't using Kyungsoo as anyone's replacement, he loved him wholly.
"What are you saying? Don't with me!"
"What? Lost your memories or something?" He laughed as he wiped his lips, "So you're saying you don't want me now?"
"I never wanted you."
"Really? But weren't you the one who begged me to have with you every month? Weren't you the one who said its alright as long as I held you once every month? Or have you forgotten that it's you who's cheating on Kyungsoo, and using him as a place to go whenever I throw you away?"
Jongin punched Chanyeol again. He didn't understand the situation, but hearing that he was cheating on Kyungsoo just pissed him off. He would never do that. He would– or had he? This wasn't his world. Whatever happened before he woke up here was completely blink.
Chanyeol left with a remark that he wasn't coming back again, even if Jongin begged. But Jongin could care less for him. All he could think about was what Chanyeol said. He had to connect things.
Based on the information Kyungsoo told him, Chanyeol and the Jongin before he came was in a relationship, but they broke up. So the Jongin before and Kyungsoo decided to move together, all the while Kyungsoo was in love with him the whole time. But, with what Chanyeol said, the Jongin before must've never really loved Kyungsoo and was only using him as a replacement, someone to lean against, when Chanyeol left. But did Kyungsoo know?
"I want to kiss you, and then hold you. And I want to tell you how much I love you Hyung."
"Really now? That's so sur........prising Jongin."
Jongin gasped. He looked up at the clock on the wall and ran towards the door to go find Kyungsoo. He wanted to know if Kyungsoo knew of Jongin's cheating, he wanted to know if Kyungsoo had been hurting the whole time. Even though it wasn't him, his mind and soul who did it, Jongin still felt ashamed of himself. Why would the Jongin in this world be so stupid?
It didn't take him long to find Kyungsoo, for he was sitting outside on the curb, with his hands over his ear, and his whole body shaking. He was crying. Jongin's heart twisted at the sight.
Kyungsoo knew. But he stayed with Jongin anyway, he stayed knowing that Jongin didn't really love him.
Jongin went closer, feeling like wanting to cry himself for making the older cry like that.
"H-Hyung?" He whispered softly and placed his hand gently on Kyungsoo's shoulder. Although he was careful not to scare him, Kyungsoo still reacted violently, yelping and jumping to his feet with fear on his face.
When he noticed it was Jongin, he quickly wiped his face, and forced a smile on his lips, "Jongin? W-What are you doing here? Is..is Chanyeol...is he gone already?"
Jongin nodded. He wanted to hold Kyungsoo, and just tell him over and over again how much he loved him. "I'm sorry Hyung....please don't hate me." From the looks of Kyungsoo's eyes, Jongin could tell he'd known for a while that the before Jongin had been cheating on him.
"What?...I would n-never hate you, Jongin. I just...I don't want you to get hurt, ever." So that was the reason. How could the Jongin before not see how precious Kyungsoo was? How could he use Kyungsoo in place of Chanyeol, knowing how much Kyungsoo loved him? How could he be shameful enough to stay with Kyungsoo all this time and let Kyungsoo suffer? What kind of animal was he to do such a thing?
"I won't get hurt again Hyung, not anymore and I don't want you to continue hurting either. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused. I promise you, Chanyeol won't come around again, and you don't have to leave like this, ever again. I really, really love you. You don't have to believe me right now for what just happened, but I really love you, so much Hyung. Please come back?" Jongin reached his hand out, waiting for Kyungsoo to take it.
He wanted Kyungsoo to be his and only his in his world, but in this world, it was he who betrayed Kyungsoo's trust and love. If there was anyway for him to fix everything, that would be to patiently wait for Kyungsoo's forgiveness.
Slowly, Kyungsoo reached for Jongin's hand as well.
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