Pearl Milk Tea

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Jackson absently plays with the straw of his bubble milk tea. He occasionally glances at the girl across him, Youngji, who is nibbling on the straw while her eyes are fixed on the screen of her phone. He fishes out his phone just to unlock then lock it again, he keeps doing the same thing for a minute until his screen flashes a low-battery warning.

Jackson puts down his phone and stares at his girlfriend. She is wearing her hair in pigtails, her eyes framed with thin eyeliner, and her lips glossed with soft-pink shade. Even though her bangs are slightly matted to her forehead because of the heat, she looks beautiful. She always looks beautiful to Jackson (even with her super weird laugh).

His family moved to Korea when he was in junior high—something related to his father’s job as a diplomat. He enrolled to an International School, where everything was taught in English. At first, he hated Korea; the kimchi was too sour for him, the language was complicated, and it simply wasn’t Hong Kong.

That until he met Heo Youngji, the girl with a weird laugh.

Their meeting was an accident. It was the best accident that ever happened in Jackson’s life.

There’s a public school close to Jackson’s junior high and there’s a park between two schools. The park is where the students from both schools hang out. The students from the public school wanted to know how the ‘elite’ students from the International School looked like and the International School students wanted to know how ‘real’ Koreans live.

Jackson’s friend, Mark, was supposed to meet him in the park. Mark promised him to help with some math problem but Mark bailed on him on the last minute. So, he is left alone in the park, glaring holes into his math notebook. That until a girl asked him if the seat across him is taken.

The girl wore the public school uniform and tied her hair into a high ponytail, Jackson suddenly felt self-conscious when the girl sat across him. She pulled out a thick English-Korean dictionary, a big English textbook, then a notebook. He wondered how she fit all those books into her cute pink knapsack.

Both of them didn’t say anything for long until Jackson picked up an accented English. The girl was having a hard time reading the reading passage. Her accent was too thick and her pronunciation inaccurate. Jackson was itching to help her but he didn’t want to look like a know-it-all so he listened to her while drawing doodles of robots on his notebook.

“P-pel… P-pe-a-l-..” the girl let out a frustrated groan.

Jackson glanced up and she clutched her head tightly while trying so hard to get the word out of .

“P-peal—,” she in a sharp breath before struggled with the word. “P-pearl..”

Jackson felt a strange sense of accomplishment when she finally managed to pronounce the word correctly.

“I can help you..” Jackson prompted, his Korean sounded so weird in his head.

The girl looked up, her cheeks dusted in deep shade of red. She blinked slowly.

“Really? That’s great! Do you need help too? Although my head won’t be able to grasp any International School materials but, I will try my best to help you!” she excitedly babbled.

Jackson didn’t refuse.

Even after so many years, Jackson still remembers the vivid detail of their first meeting. He wonders if Youngji remembers their first meeting the way he remembers it.

Youngji looks up from his phone screen, she has been reading blog posts on some survival tips about studying abroad. She looks at her Jackson who’s absently stirring his milk tea, his eyes distant, and his lips are slightly parted. Jackson is an open book, Youngji always know what’s going on in his boyfriend’s head just by a single glance.

There’s a possibility that Jackson is probably thinking about how they first met or how their first date went—because the expression Jackson is wearing right now is the same as whenever he thinks about one of those two happenings. Youngji tightens her grip around her phone before putting down her phone.

Next week, Jackson and his parents will move back to Hong Kong. Both of them have been avoiding discussing about this matter and by avoiding it, they somehow build an invisible wall between them. Whenever Youngji reaches out to hold his hand, there’s a subtle flinch in Jackson’s gesture. Youngji tried so hard to ignore this, but the more she ignores it, the more it haunts her.

She knows that one day, this day will come. She always thought that they will probably break up after the first three months of dating however, they somehow manage to make it last for two years. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies but they always find a way to make it work.

This time though, there is no way they can make it work.

Youngji hastily slurps her drink only to end up choking on one of the tapioca balls, Jackson is immediately snapped out of his reverie and hurries to Youngji’s side to give her light pats on her back.

“Didn’t I tell you to be more careful?” Jackson scolds her.

He stands up to buy a bottle of water for her. Once she is not choking on tapioca balls, Jackson sits across her, his brows are still knitted by worry. Youngji flashes him her small simper. Jackson grumbles under his breath about being more careful and how tapioca balls are dangerous. Youngji doesn’t say anything, a fond smile blooming across her lips as she listens to his grumbling.

“We have to talk about it,” Youngji finally drops whatever’s been bothering her.

He shoots his gaze down to his lap, his fingers twisting the end of his t-shirt. This is what has been keeping him up at nights, those quiet nights spent by staring at the ceiling before he eventually fell into a restless sleep. Jackson wishes by avoiding talking about it, everything will stay the same; he won’t have to move to Hong Kong and Youngji won’t have to go to America.

Everything will stay the same.

He recalls about a quote Youngji had told him months ago; the world is not a wish granting factory or something like that.

“You’re right,” Jackson agonized.

What’s there to talk about, Jackson pondered. Youngji has made it clear that she is against the idea of long distance relationship and he agreed. Unless you are already bound by marriage, long distance relationship is tiring and useless. There’s nothing good will come out from a long distance relationship.

People tend to romanticize long distance relationship, it will strengthen the bond between the two of you and stuffs like that. That’s so unreal. Long distance relationship is painful, you can’t be there for him or her and it’s not just about the physical contact. Absence makes the heart grows fonder? No, absence only makes suspicion grows.

And suspicion only sparks ugly emotions.

“So, what do we do?” Jackson asks.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Youngji sighs.

A heavy silence follows the Youngji’s remark.

Both Youngji and Jackson are loud but there are times when the time they spent together that filled with a comfortable silence—the kind of silence where they usually play with each other fingers.

This is the kind of silence that follows after a big fight; after Youngji screamed “I hate you!” on the top of her lungs which Jackson would reply “Fine, whatever!”. The silence filled with tension and raw emotion. The silence that feels like watching storm unfolding before your very own eyes, it’s cold, dark, and unpredictable.

Youngji relives their first fight, she bought Jackson a tall cup of his favorite bubble milk tea and she remembers that once, Jackson offered her a piece of cheese as a truce.

“Two years, huh?” Jackson muses.
“Yeah, two years,” Youngji smiles bitterly.

Jackson meets her eyes and he sees her love for him and her sadness—it’s a beautiful and somber look.

“And Hara said that we won’t last for a week,” she reminisces.
“Yeah and Jaebum said we will kill each other within three days,” Jackson chortles.

Tears begin to pool in the corner of her eyes. Jackson hates that sight, when she is in the brim of crying. No matter what the reason is; when they fight, when her dog had to be put down because he was too sick to go on. As if she notices, she looks up and blinks the tears away.

“I love you, Jackson,” she whispers.

And Jackson’s heart breaks.

“I know it’s a heavy word and what do I know about love.. But we’ve been together for two years, Jackson.. Can you imagine that? I love you and that is all there’s to it,”

Jackson thought that he would hear the sound of his heart shatters into million pieces but instead, he didn’t hear anything, it was silent. Now he understands why the wound that doesn’t show hurts the most.

“I love you, Youngji,”

Youngji finally breaks. She cries and sobs so hard, she is making hiccupping and choking noises.

Oddly, the only thing Jackson remembers was the first time she laughed at a dumb joke he made. Her laugh was bizarre, she didn’t make any sound and there were no small giggles of a school girl or rambunctious laughter of an ahjumma. Instead, she opened so widely he could see the inside of .

That time, Jackson laughed too. He laughed because she laughed.

“Thank you for the two years, Jackson. Good bye,” she hiccups.
“Thank you, Youngji.. and good bye,” he whispers.

She stands up from her seat and leaves her half-drank bubble milk tea. Her shoulders are trembling and he got weird looks from the waiters and customers of the shop. He stares into the air for what it feels like forever before finally leaving his half-drank bubble milk tea.

+++

Six years later.

The woman’s arm is circled around her boyfriend’s arm while the other is holding a glass of bubble milk tea, the man leans down and whispers a shared joke between them and both of them laugh. The weather is lovely so the couple decided to stroll down the park.

And from the opposite direction, a couple is also taking a stroll in the park. The boyfriend’s arm is loosely draped around the girlfriend’s shoulders, both of them are laughing about something the girlfriend pointed out.

“Jackson?”

“Youngji?"

END

Ever since Roommate S2, I've always wanted to make a JackJi fic. I finally made one! Even if this fic has a bittersweet ending, I still feel the weird sense of satisfaction after writing this.