Soojung opens her eyes when the bus goes over a hump. 

There is no one else on the bus except for an old lady nodding off by the front, and the three of them in the back. The afternoon sun is warm enough to feel through the window. Soojung blinks slowly, not fully awake. Beside her, Jongin breathes steadily in her ear. Beyond him, Kyungsoo is asleep on Jongin’s other shoulder. 

They wind through another street, never stopping for another passenger. Soojung watches as they roll by another row of small, stout buildings, before there is a glimpse of expansive sky, and then it is all concrete again. She looks up at Jongin’s face and the sun casts her shadow on him. Kyungsoo’s breathing is slow. Measured. 

Soojung closes her eyes. 


 

They are twelve months away from being university students. 

Jongin wakes up to this realisation, and stares at his ceiling for a long while. Then his mother calls and he climbs off his bed, grabs a towel, and walks to the bathroom to wash up. He looks thoughtfully at himself in the steamed over mirror when he is brushing his teeth. It feels a little too surreal. Where did all that time go? He slips into his shirt and pants, and takes his pullover to the dining table. 

“Morning,” his mother says while stirring a pot of stew, “to the very last high schooler in our house.”

“Morning.” He says and sits down. His father is reading the newspaper. Behind him hangs their family portrait, and he can see his ten year old self smiling widely at him as his twin older sisters pose in graduation gowns and mortarboards. “Thanks for reminding me, mom.”

“Of course,” she brings over the pot and sets it down in front of him, “this day has been long coming.”

He grins halfheartedly at his mother, and his father reaches over to ruffle his head, all the time not looking up from the paper. Jongin helps himself to the stew and pushes a bowl towards his father. It feels all very odd that in a year or so this will not be his usual routine. Jongin knows where he should go, and what his parents wish for him to do. It’s just not sinking in yet. 

Twelve months. He mixes his rice in the stew and chews. 





The morning is so cold that his breath fogs up his glasses. Kyungsoo takes them off and wipes them on the school-issued duffle coat. It doesn’t help much, but he puts them on anyway. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he waits. Jongin is usually early, but Soojung is a heavy sleeper. 

“You are such a pain.” He hears Soojung grumble loudly from a distance. “I said five more minutes!”

“Multiplied by ten, you mean.” Jongin retorts, and their footsteps get nearer. They have known each other for years, growing up and being in the same schools together. Kyungsoo grew up in Ilsan, and moved in only at the beginning of high school. But somehow Jongin and Soojung have made him one of their own. He doesn’t remember when or how, but it just happened. 

“Hi Kyungsoo.” Soojung appears out of the lift lobby, hair whipping around her scowling face. 

“Hi.” He waves, and Jongin jogs out shortly afterwards. His hair is in a mess. Some hair pulling must have gone on in the lift, he thinks. Soojung can be aggressive when it comes to waking up. “You might want to do something about your tie.”

Jongin grabs at his neck. “Oh. Jung Soojung, you little-”

Soojung makes a face, and Jongin makes a swipe at her hair. Kyungsoo watches as they engage in some more slightly violent physical banter. He was surprised at first but not anymore. “Kyungsoo!” Soojung pants and hides behind him. “Ask him to stop!”

“Stop?” He tries, and Jongin gives him a pointed look. “We’re going to miss the bus.”

“Yes, listen to the model student!” Soojung has stuck her head out from over his shoulder. Kyungsoo shivers slightly. “I promise not to tear out your tie next time.”

Jongin’s eye twitches and he holds out something. Kyungsoo takes a closer look--it’s Soojung’s hair tie. She grabs it quickly and rushes towards the gate. Jongin blinks slowly, then turns to give him a look. Kyungsoo holds it for a while, then shrugs. Jongin sighs and drapes an arm over his shoulders. He’s grown over the holidays, Kyungsoo thinks. Well, not him. 





Soojung sits through two periods of History without trying to text Jongin even once. It’s a record, because she has been planning a trip to Seoul all day in her head, but their History teacher is intense when it comes to using phones in class. She makes sure that he isn’t looking, before turning around at an awkward angle to steal a look at Jongin. 

He looks like he’s about to nod off, while Kyungsoo is listening intently beside him. Soojung clucks her tongue in silent disapproval. It is odd, really, how much Jongin trusts that Kyungsoo will deliver when it comes to note taking. The foreign language high school they go to is strict, but somehow Jongin always manages to cruise through anything. 

“You might want to turn back now,” her desk partner Seungwan mutters, and Soojung whips back into place. Their teacher is still thankfully scribbling on the interactive whiteboard, and she slaps Seungwan lightly on the arm for the false alarm. “Stop sending lovey dovey gazes in class!” 

“I was so not.” Soojung hisses back. Seungwan rolls her eyes. Soojung slaps her on the arm again. “That’s gross, ok?”

“How is the truth gross?” Seungwan replies and continues taking notes. Soojung flips her notebook open and picks up her pencil. “The two of you need to get a room.”

“Shut up, Wendy.” Soojung nudges her with her elbow, and Seungwan nudges back. 

“At least my name isn’t too-cool-to-be-spelled-with-a-C, Krystal.” Seungwan raises her brows and Soojung gives her an affronted look. Their teacher clears his throat, and the both of them look up at the same time. 

“Seungwan. Soojung. I suppose the both of you already have an extensive knowledge of the reasons behind the beginning of World War Two?” He peers at them from behind his glasses, and Soojung shuts her eyes in dismay. She can hear Jongin cough in laughter from behind them. Whatever happened to snoozing in class? “Maybe you’d like to share your knowledge with the class, Soojung.”

She opens to say something, but the look in their teacher’s eyes stops her before she can get anything out. Soojung looks down at her empty notebook, and Seungwan silently slides hers over. She gives her a grateful pat in return, and begins reading out loud. 






“Whatever happened to listening in class?” Jongin laughs as they sit down together at their usual table. Soojung shoots him a dirty look and reaches over to grab at his tie. He leans backwards and avoids her hand, and she sits back down with a huff. “I vaguely remember you promising not to ever pull my tie out again this morning.”

“Witness?” Soojung says and he points at Kyungsoo, who is silently working away at his side dishes. Soojung narrows her eyes, and Kyungsoo nods without even looking up. “That’s extremely unfair.”

“Are you seriously trying to insinuate that Do Kyungsoo is a liar?” Jongin puts on his best look of horror. Soojung rolls her eyes. “Of all the people in the world, Do Kyungsoo?”

“He’s human too, of course he has the potential to lie.” Soojung defends herself, and Kyungsoo looks up at her while drinking a spoonful of soup. “Do you admit that, Kyungsoo, or are you going to lie and say no?”

Kyungsoo looks at him, then back at Soojung. “Is this a trick question compromising my integrity?”

“Yes, obviously.” Jongin says and Soojung raises a fist. “You really don’t have to answer.”

Kyungsoo considers it for a moment. “I don’t think lying is a very good way of maintaining a friendship.” He says finally, and Soojung deflates. Jongin laughs and steals a piece of kimchi off her plate. She raps his knuckles with her chopsticks, but he keeps laughing. Soojung is all bark and no real bite. It’s something he’s known for the last eighteen years now. 

Soojung glares at him and digs hard into her rice. Jongin’s eyes grow a little gentle at the way she’s pouting at the table. He finds it difficult to explain to anyone the way they interact, and Kyungsoo doesn’t usually ask. It’s their thing, an unsaid but explicitly known way of life that Jongin has grown accustomed to, and love. Soojung is one of the most constant presences in his life, and he can’t imagine it without her. 

“When’s your college consultation session?” He looks up when Soojung asks Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo riffles through his planner, while Soojung shoots him another dirty look. He grins, but the thought of university bothers him more than he likes. “Seungwan keeps asking me to switch with her, but I don’t like going home that late on Fridays.”

“Thursday morning.” Kyungsoo nods at her, and Soojung thinks about it before turning to him with bright eyes. 

“Can you please exchange your slot with Seungwan? Please? She keeps bothering me, it’s driving me insane.” Soojung pleads, and Kyungsoo gives her an odd look. “Seriously. She’s got a date with her boyfriend and she just won’t let up.”

Jongin’s session is also on Thursday morning. He clears his throat, and Soojung glares at him briefly before turning back to Kyungsoo, who looks very conflicted. Jongin knows it’s because he really wants to go to the optional study session on Friday, but he’s also bound by the laws of friendship to do Soojung the favour. Jongin, though, isn’t very interested in the study session. 

“Mine’s on Thursday too.” He says and Soojung immediately spins around to face him. “That was such a quick change of mind, Soojung.”

“Silence. You know I hate going back so late the day before the weekend.” Soojung sniffs and Jongin laughs again. “So, will you switch with Seungwan? And get her off my back? And tell her to stop telling me about how sweet and awesome her boyfriend is?”

“Uh, maybe he is really that sweet and awesome.” Jongin points out. Seungwan is dating a college sophomore that none of them really know. “You can’t tell someone to lie about their sweet and awesome boyfriend.”

Soojung points her chopsticks threateningly at him. Jongin makes a face. She glares at him, before putting her hands together pleadingly. “Come on, you’re my best friend! Plus, you know that unnie only ever calls home on Fridays.”

Jongin knows enough about Soojung’s sister, Sooyeon, to know that she’s a very busy business student in the States, and that Soojung views her as the greatest sister to ever exist. They’re close in a way that Jongin cannot even begin to fathom--his own sisters are twelve years older and only ever treat him mostly like an eight year old. 

“Fine.” He says almost grudgingly, and Soojung beams brightly at him before reaching over to cup his head in her hands and shake it excitedly. Beside him Jongin can see Kyungsoo’s mouth quirk up in a small smile. He gives him a stern look, but Kyungsoo simply shakes it off. “I expect payment in the form of chips and soda.”

“Anything you want, man. Let’s go to the convenience store after this!” Soojung chirps and pulls her phone out. Jongin places a finger on her forehead and pushes, but she goes right on texting. Kyungsoo still has that weird half-smile on after he withdraws his finger. Jongin tilts his head, and Kyungsoo shakes his cryptically. They are such a bunch of weird kids, Jongin thinks, and goes back to his rice. 





“Kyungsoo?”

He looks back and finds his mother standing at the door. She’s holding a plate of fruits and a thick stack of papers. Kyungsoo pulls his earphones off and goes to take them off her hands. His mother walks in after him and sits down on the bed when he does. Kyungsoo hands her a piece of melon and bites into one himself. It’s very sweet. They’ve moved in for three years now, and his mother has become fast friends with everyone in neighbourhood, so they get the best of everything that the grocery store has to offer. 

“Your father sent these over.” She says and Kyungsoo feels a little cold jolt up his back. His parents have been also divorced for three years now, and he has seen his father exactly five times since. He doesn’t show up very often. “Said that you might want to consider these for applications.”

“What applications?” He swallows and asks quietly. His mother hands them over to him and he flips through them slowly. Stanford, Yale, Brown. Oh. His heart sinks as he realises that his father doesn’t seem to want him to stay in Korea. Kyungsoo looks up at his mother, who gives him a very slight smile. How can she look like this when she knows that her ex-husband wants her only son to leave her? “I… want to stay in Korea.”

“It’ll be a very good opportunity.” His mother says like it doesn’t matter. The knot in Kyungsoo’s chest tightens. “Your dad only means the best.”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes momentarily, and opens them again. “Does he?” She will have to forgive him for thinking so lightly of a person he hasn’t seen in over a year now. 

“Yes.” Her voice is very firm. “Yes. He does.”

He doesn’t want to argue with her about this, so he just stares at his feet and chews on another piece of melon. They are both quiet for a while. Kyungsoo thinks that his personality is entirely his mother’s. The only part of his father that he can find in himself surfaces only when he looks in the mirror closely. His eyes, his lips. They’re a funny heart shape, and Kyungsoo doesn’t like them too much. 

“How is senior year?” His mother asks after they almost finish the entire plate of melon in silence. “Soojung’s mother tells me that she got caught talking in History class today? That girl is so cute.”

Kyungsoo smiles a little. Soojung is so transparent, it’s almost funny sometimes. “Jongin duly made fun of her because of it at lunch.” His mother laughs a little at that. Everyone in their apartment complex know about Jongin and Soojung, childhood best friends and mortal enemies that will lay their lives down for each other. Kyungsoo watches sometimes and envies them. He can’t remember too much about his childhood playmates. Ilsan is not a place he wants to go back to very often. 

“I’m glad you’re such good friends with them.” His mother says and pulls his pillows straight. “Jongin is a nice boy, isn’t he? His mother keeps telling me how happy she is that he’s growing up so much. Such a contrast from that total troublemaker as a kid. Too bad we weren’t here to see that.”

Kyungsoo nods. It is difficult to forget the way that Jongin had invited him to share Soojung’s birthday cake, when he and his mother had just moved in and he was going around to present the neighbours with homemade kimchi as gifts. Jongin didn’t even have to do it, but he did, and to this day Kyungsoo still can’t understand how and why he was so open to a complete stranger. They are poles apart and yet they are friends. Friendship works in an odd way, Kyungsoo thinks, but for that he is grateful enough. 

“Don’t study till too late,” his mother is saying when he tunes back in, “because I don’t want you falling sick.”

He waits as his mother runs a hand through his hair and pats his forehead slowly. She looks at him and he can see the moisture in her eyes. She has always been a sensitive woman, damaged enough by a divorce she did not see coming. Kyungsoo blinks back at her. 

“Look at my son,” she says and presses her lips together in wonderment, “all grown up now.”

But he hasn’t. He’s still small and afraid and scared that he will never be able to do the things that he has so meticulously planned out for the rest of his life. Kyungsoo is constantly in fear of not being to match up to everything that he has measured himself to. The fall is too painful. But he has to try, he thinks, the only way is forward. But he is also afraid. He is also the fifteen year old forever, scarred and embittered and wounded by the person who was supposed to love him unconditionally. 

“Mom.” He says in almost a whisper, and wants to say something more. But he cannot. 





Soojung records the number down and undoes the Velcro band for her mother. “Not too bad today, mom.” 

Her mother’s blood pressure is always hovering between dangerous and not, and it’s Soojung’s job to do the daily measurements so that they can call the doctor just in case anything is wrong. It used to be Sooyeon’s, but she is in the States now and Soojung is alright with taking over anyway. 

“What a relief.” Her mother sighs and gets up from the armchair. Soojung packs the equipment away and sits on the carpet for a while, wondering about nothing in particular and feeling the heat of their ondal system build beneath her. “Do you want something to eat?”

“I want pizza.” Soojung calls back and her mother makes a loud noise of disapproval. “What, you asked!”

“I asked if you wanted proper food,” her mother replies and Soojung makes a face. “We have some fried rice, if you want.”

“That’s not even my favourite,” Soojung says in outrage, “why do you have Kim Jongin’s favourite dish on standby everyday?”

Her mother comes out of the kitchen, a plastic container of kimchi in hand and a severe look on her face. Soojung backs up just a little. “You eat whatever I give you, young lady. And Jongin does precisely that, which is why I give him whatever he wants to eat.”

Soojung screws her nose up. “That’s really flawed logic, mom.”

Her mother shoots her a very pointed look, and Soojung pretends to zip up. Fried rice is okay, but Soojung would really prefer something more cheesy. But her mother is not a fan of deep frying anything or of cheese, because of her high blood pressure problem, and Soojung frequently finds herself at Jongin’s place dialling the pizza takeout number. It’s funny how she does it at his place, and never at Kyungsoo’s. Soojung folds her legs beneath her and taps her chin repeatedly on their glass coffee table. 

Her phone buzzes. She doesn’t even have to look at the screen to know who it is. “Speak, Kim.”

“Have you started on your Physics homework yet?” Jongin ignores her greeting and goes straight to the point. “Note that I’m asking you only because Kyungsoo’s phone is turned off.”

Soojung pretends to gasp. “I’m your second choice! Such a shocking realisation this is, Jongin.”

“Come on. You know you can only do your homework with me.” He laughs and Soojung tries to imagine his face in front of her as she flicks the air with her index finger. His laugh is very nice and deep though, and Soojung clears . “Is your throat ok?”

“Has never been better. By the way, you might want to come over because my mom is pretending that you’re her son again and cooking some of that kimchi fried rice you love so much.” Soojung tells him begrudgingly and Jongin whoops on the other end. 

“Is she okay today, though?” Jongin asks and Soojung nods even though he can’t see her. “Shouldn’t you be helping her out? Wait, you’re not? Be over in a few.”

He hangs up before she can even say anything, and Soojung makes a face at her phone. 






Jongin pulls open the doors of their shoe cabinet and fumbles around for a pair of flip-flops. There are too many pairs of heels that his twin sisters have left behind, ostensibly to “take to Seoul” someday, but Jongin knows they won’t. His sisters come home far too little times for it to happen. 

“Are you honestly going to eat another round of dinner at Soojung’s place?” His mother sticks her head out from the corridor and says. He tries to shrug like it’s nothing, but she is also his mother. “Look at my son. Is he mine, or is he Soojung’s mother’s?”

“Mom.” He drags out the word and she laughs. “I’m just going over to get some homework done.”

“With Soojung and not Kyungsoo?” She points out and Jongin groans. “That’s a first.”

“We’ll get him to come over later. You know how persuasive Soojung isi.” He says and his mother raises an eyebrow at him knowingly. The woman knows everything, he thinks, and to say anything more would be adding to her knowledge bank. So Jongin picks up his books, slips on the flip-flops, and unlocks their door. “Be right back!”

“Yes, yes, stay there forever. It’s ok, my only son. Your mother will be fine.” She calls out and Jongin cringes as the door swings shut. He sure hopes no one is around to hear this. The side effect of being the only (and youngest) son of the family is that everyone seems to treat him like some sort of toy. His sisters do it the most often, but his parents alternate between thinking he’s a baby and wanting to send him off to Seoul ASAP. 

He trudges off to the unit next to theirs. Their apartment complex is as old as they are, and there are only three units on each floor. His family lives next to Soojung’s, while Kyungsoo’s unit is around the corner. Jongin deliberates on ringing Kyungsoo’s doorbell, but decides that it’s alright to wait. Kyungsoo doesn’t answer his phone because he has legit reasons, he thinks. 

“Open up.” He rings the bell and puts his mouth to the camera of the digital eyehole. 

“You are so gross.” Soojung says from over the intercom and then the door buzzes open. Jongin pulls it open and finds her standing at the end of the corridor, arms crossed. “Are you seriously here to do homework, or to eat our stash of kimchi dry?”

“Either or,” he shrugs and closes the door behind him, “I’m not picky.”

Soojung shakes her head slowly, and he slings an arm around her when he gets close enough. She’s tall enough for her age, but Jongin is taller. The only one who doesn’t seem to gain any more inches is Kyungsoo, but they don’t talk about it around him. Soojung leans in and tries to bite his arm, but Jongin pulls away fast enough. 

“Why are you always trying to physically hurt me?” He widens his eyes at her and she shakes her head non-committally. “Whatever happened to being best friends?”

She throws a lollipop at him. “My apologies.” It’s his favourite flavour, so Jongin decides it’s good enough. 

“Jongin! You’re here?” Soojung’s mother calls out from the kitchen, and he hurries in to greet her. “I was just frying up some rice.”

“Smells delicious, Mrs. Jung.” He grins at her, and she pats him lovingly on the cheek. Their mothers are so close that sometimes he calls Soojung’s mother “mom” just to make fun of her. “I’m here to get some homework done with Soojung.”

“With her?” She raises her eyebrows. “Where’s Kyungsoo?”

Why do all of them ask the same question? Jongin shrugs and says that they’ll call him later. When he gets back to the living room, Soojung is on a lollipop of her own and watching something intensely on her phone. He sidles up to her and props his chin on her shoulder. She tries to shake it off weakly but lets him anyway. It’s a performance of Kyungsoo’s cello solo in the school orchestra. 

“Never knew he was this good.” Jongin says and pulls the wrapping off his lollipop. 

Soojung turns slightly and gives him a look. He’s very aware of how close they are. “You’re a great best friend, Jongin.” He sniffs at her sarcasm, and she pushes him lightly on the forehead. 

“You do know how quiet he is, right?” He pops the candy into his mouth. “It’s not like we can get him to talk when he doesn’t want to.”

“Try?” The performance has finished playing, and Soojung puts her phone down. He still has his chin on her shoulder. It’s not like he wants to move off, and she lets him stay there. “I feel like we don’t try enough sometimes.”

“You do.” He says, and she sighs. “You’re being very insightful today.”

Soojung leans back against the sofa and sighs again. “I don’t know,” she says and gestures with her hands, “I think it’s because it’s finally sinking in that we’re high school seniors now? That feels kind of scary. And really exciting at the same time.”

Jongin agrees a little. More with the scary part than anything else, but then Soojung has always been the optimist in their trio. Always willing to venture out and try anything and everything, while he and Kyungsoo stay and act as back up. Kyungsoo doesn’t move out of practicality and sticking to his plans. Jongin… he thinks about it and comes to the conclusion that he’s not really a fan of being out of his comfort zone. 

“You know what’s scarier than turning eighteen?” Soojung shakes her head and he points at their stack of Physics worksheets. “Not handing that in on time.”

“You are such a Debbie Downer.” She says in English and Jongin laughs. 






Kyungsoo switches with Seungwan in the end, for their college consultation session, and she shrieks in delight and promises him “ever lasting gratitude from Chanyeol oppa and I forever!”. He isn’t so sure he actually needs that, but lets her jump up and down on his arm for a few moments before walking back to his seat when Seungwan finally sprints off to use her phone in the bathroom. 

His seat is next to Jongin’s. It’s been the same arrangement for the last three years, simply because their homeroom teacher is too lazy to make any changes. Ms. Hong is pretty cool though, Kyungsoo thinks, because she gives him good advice on his English compositions and tries to make him speak the language more. But he’s only ever good at pronunciation, and struggles with grammar sometimes. 

“Kyungsoo,” Jaebum, who sits in front of him, turns around and calls urgently, “have you worked out the answer for that last question on the Physics worksheet?”

“Yeah.” He reaches under Jongin’s desk (because he and Soojung hadn’t got more than five done last night and needed to copy off his) and pulls out the sheet. Something else falls along with it, and he hands the worksheet over to Jaebum first before bending down to pick it up. It’s Jongin’s iPod, a really old second generation that his sister Jae-in used to use. He seems to have forgotten to turn it off, and Kyungsoo reaches to press pause when he notices it’s on the playlist page. 

for jung soojung

He sort of remembers this. Jongin started this playlist in their first year of high school, and as he scrolls through the list, Kyungsoo realises how big it has actually gotten. It’s an eclectic mix of Western and Korean music, some indie and some mainstream pop, but they all have something in common. Love. Kyungsoo blinks slowly and puts it back down. He didn’t realise how much work Jongin had been putting into this. It kind of jolts him off course a little. 

“I’m telling you that grape overrides anything else,” He’s still trying to process when Jongin’s voice floats in through the open door. It sounds like they’re arguing about what the greatest flavour of their favourite fizzy soda ice pop is. “Orange is so not it.”

“I reject your reality and replace it with my own, where orange is obviously the most sensible choice. Ever?” They come in and Kyungsoo watches as Soojung elbows Jongin in the side. He yelps and makes a grab for her, but she runs off towards the front, where a group of her friends have gathered. Jongin sticks his tongue out at her, and she makes a face back in return. “Neener neener, Kim!”

Jongin rolls his eyes and drops himself into his seat. Kyungsoo catches as he tosses an ice pop his way. It’s grape flavoured. Kyungsoo personally prefers the apple, but cracks it open anyway. Jongin stuffs his wallet back into his backpack, before realising that his iPod is not in the right place. 

“It dropped out when I was looking for the Physics worksheet.” Kyungsoo says quickly before he can ask. “Sorry.”

“Hey, not blaming you. It’s so battered anyway.” Jongin presses play and offers an earbud to Kyungsoo. He takes it and puts it into his left ear. There’s only five minutes left before break time ends. “Ever listened to Of Monsters And Men?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. Jongin nods thoughtfully and puts his iPod down before lying down on his desk, a single arm nestled under his head. He waits for a moment, and lies down himself. Jongin has closed his eyes, and Kyungsoo looks at him as the song plays. It’s haunting. Like something is about to change. It courses through Kyungsoo, and he shuts his eyes before he can get close enough to know.