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SPRINGS ARE ALWAYS THE SADDEST part 1 of 1

 

Jongin’s flowers are blooming as they always are and he sits amidst them all, on the large balcony again. He watches as a leaf takes flight as a sudden burst of wind ruffles the trees. Kyungsoo’s sleepy eyes meet his own when Jongin looks back and smiles his usual warm smile.

 

Kyungsoo recognizes the look the flower boy sends him and averts his eyes with a sigh. He feels like the ache in his limbs is starting to become overbearing and he wishes Jongdae wouldn’t go too crazy.

 

Sehun’s cranky too, spending most of his time in his room, a fan blowing cool air against him with full power. Only Jongin seems to be content in this house.

 

“I saw the first butterfly of the year just now”, the said boy informs Kyungsoo and at this the other looks back at the tanned sweet boy.

 

“What was it?”, Kyungsoo asks, genuinely interested as he avoids touching Jongin’s precious flowers as he sits down next to the other. “A brimstone, a bit disappointing really”, he tells and turns to look at a deer that appears from the treeline to gaze in their general direction.

 

Kyungsoo scoffs. Typical Jongdae, saving all his energy for the end. More work for him really. Jongin doesn’t seem to mind Jongdae though, and pleasantly smiles as if everything’s okay.

 

But like is said, springs are always the saddest.

 

That was the last thing his mentor had told him before he landed the keys to this house in Kyungsoo’s hands and passively walked off until Kyungsoo never saw him again.

 

Jongin’s fingers surround the cool metal bars of the balcony’s railing and he leans forward until his face is smushed between the two bars. “What are you doing?”, Kyungsoo asks and gains no reaction from Jongin until he stands up, preparing to leave, mindful of the flowers again.

 

“Waiting”, comes a soft answer, one Kyungsoo could have easily missed, if it wasn’t for the fact that Kyungsoo never missed a thing the boy said. Kyungsoo hums as a reply and disappears through the balcony doors to run his hands against the cool, plain white walls of the house absent mindedly.

 

Sehun emerges from his room the first time this week. His eyebrows are furrowed and Kyungsoo only shares a look with the other, before leaving him be. Sehun’s always y to deal with, and Kyungsoo kind of wishes he could run away like Jongdae does. But then again, Jongdae is the reason Sehun is so cranky.

 

“Where’s Jongin?”, the other questions as he buries his hands in the soft cushions of the sofa Kyungsoo sits on top of. “Out”, Kyungsoo only answers and Sehun already knows what this means. “Jongdae’s coming back soon, then”, he mumbles, which would explain why he’s out of his room again. Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything, only ignores the burn in his throat and the bothering guilt at the bottom of his stomach. It’s not his fault that spring’s the season of love, is it?

 

“How much of an annoyance do you think he will be to me?”, Kyungsoo asks, seriously considering snapping Jongdae’s neck as soon as he steps back inside this house, cheery as always, but probably exhausted to the very core, so it wouldn’t be much of a fight. Especially when Kyungsoo’s gathered all his energy through the year.

 

“It’s the warmth that will bother you the most”, Sehun says, sounding confident and pushing himself straight, no longer leaning against the sofa’s backrest.

 

“Jongin will be alright”, Sehun mumbles as a finishing touch, before he ventures back to his room, turning the air conditioner to colder, hoping that it would help the arrival of Jongdae.

 

 

Kyungsoo’s no longer sure of what Sehun had said a few weeks before. Jongin is no longer smiling and he’s carefully holding onto Kyungsoo’s coat’s sleeve. Jongdae arrived only a few hours earlier, but the sooner Kyungsoo leaves, the earlier he can come back.

 

To rest, to watch a flower boy tend to his garden.

 

“I’ll be back soon”, Kyungsoo whispers, when Jongdae’s boasting about how this was probably his best summer yet, like every year. Jongin leans closer and buries his nose in the other’s autumn coat, taking it in once more, before forcing himself to let go. One more reassuring smile from the boy gives Kyungsoo the confidence to turn around and open the door. He hears a ‘good luck’ from Sehun and when he looks back before the door closes, Jongin’s waving, but no longer smiling. It drains the color off of his face, but he can no longer turn back, as he walks into the tree line and greets a familiar deer on his way through the forest.

 

 

The walk doesn’t take long, and as always is more of a blur of waiting more than a journey. In no time at all, he’s walking up familiar stairs and greets a lady that’s aged a bit through the year. She’s carrying a laundry basket as she smiles warmly, but they don’t stay around to chit chat.

 

To this day, Kyungsoo has no idea what they look like. Perhaps the facade they hold as a barrier in between the four of them and normal people is a combination of Jongdae’s slanted, playful eyes, Jongin’s beautiful tan skin, Sehun’s lanky body and Kyungsoo’s full lips. He has no idea how to combine the four together in his mind, and it’s probably not at all true, but he likes to think it’s that way. Perhaps because he finds his full lips the best thing about himself and that Jongin’s tan skin looks really nice holding his own paler hand. Maybe he finds Sehun’s lanky body more attractive than his own chubbier, short figure and that Jongdae’s characteristic eyes bring charisma to this mystery person they all represent.

 

He has never known and still to this moment, as he’s pushing a worn out key into the apartment’s lock, he doesn’t know.

 

To his relief, the apartment’s clean. Jongdae hadn’t left a mess like two years prior, and Kyungsoo wonders when the couch had been changed into a bigger, more comfortable one. He doesn’t complain though, as he sits on top of it and glances outside. He doesn’t need the coat he’s wearing at all yet, but soon he will, he decides. He lets Jongdae’s handiwork be for one more day, knowing that everyone has always liked summer more than autumn.

 

Except Jongin.

 

He sighs loudly at the memory of a tanned boy timidly laughing at something Kyungsoo had said to Jongdae’s ing self one day, one year and Kyungsoo had smiled back at the laughter. Jongin had crawled closer, Jongdae whining about the two being too close again, but neither of them minding. The summer boy had turned the heating up and tightened the scarf around his neck.

 

Kyungsoo knows he should be excited to experience his favorite season of the year once again, being biased as all of them are, but he can’t bring himself to not want the flowers to die this year, like last year.

 

They do anyway.

 

When Kyungsoo finally opens his bakery again, the one that was an ice cream kiosk when Jongdae ran it, he’s finally able to use his coat for a reason. It’s almost October, and Kyungsoo hates Jongdae for being so annoying and pushing all of his might into the last heatwave of the summer, making it last way longer than necessary. It would’ve been mid-Autumn already, and he would be way closer to seeing the flower boy again, but no, it’s still just a little past square one.

 

His usual workers, Yixing and Joonmyun, greet him with impersonal smiles and ‘how have you been?’ before they fall into a nice rhythm of Kyungsoo serving, Yixing baking and Joonmyun being the cashier. It’s a small shop, and he doesn’t need any less or any more.

 

Kyungsoo’s tired.

 

He’s so very tired and all he wants is to see Jongin making flower crowns and watch as he wears them because Kyungsoo can’t, they’ll always die. It’s funny how someone who brings life finds comfort in someone who can’t help but killing what the other loves.

 

Springs are always the saddest, but Autumns are not far off.

 

 

 

“I love Fall!”, a teenage girl chirps as she enters the bakery with a friend beside her. They order two pieces of chocolate cake and two cups of hot cocoa. Kyungsoo watches them with curiosity as they eat, chattering about any and everything.

 

When it starts to rain, like he had planned to, the same girl whines about it and takes his words back. “It’s beautiful, but I hate the weather”, she continues and the other girl agrees, as they open an umbrella and share it as they walk out into the rain.

 

Kyungsoo would rather they’d say hurtful things rather than get his hopes up every time.

 

The last decade of Autumns was by a man with rough eyes, yet a gentle mind. They had only exchanged a few words during the tour of the house, but as a sweet young girl who took care of the Springs continued whispering secrets of the man into his ears, he grew to know that the Autumn was indeed able to be loving when needed.

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