The next time Kevin saw Hyungsik was the following week. Hyungsik could be elusive with messages and phone calls, but he seemed happy for Kevin to show up at his house unannounced.

When Hyungsik opened the door Kevin was surprised to find that he had cut his hair and was wearing a dress shirt with trousers. He looked nothing like the baeksu Kevin had met a week ago; he was now looking much more like his old self.

Hyungsik must have noticed Kevin's shocked expression, because he smiled and said, "I cut my hair. Do you like it?"

"What's the occasion?"

Hyungsik talked as he fumbled with the buttons on his sleeve. "I've decided that it's time for me to grow up. I know it seems a bit late for growing up, but until last week I didn't feel old at all. It wasn't until you came and told me that I was 29... then it hit me." He looked up at Kevin and grinned. "You are such a good influence on me hyung, more influential than my actual brother. Speaking of him, he's arranged for me to meet a woman today, some friend of a friend, and that's why I've put a nice shirt on."

He had failed to do up the buttons on his sleeve, so he held them out for Kevin.

"Have I come at a bad time?" Kevin asked as he fixed Hyungsik's buttons.

"Well, I'm about to go out, but I'm only going to the river, would you like to walk with me?"

They went out together and this time Kevin wondered if people would stare now that Hyungsik was back to looking like the movie star he had once been.

"The other day I was about to tell you why I gave up singing, but I don't think I got around to telling you."

"Are you going to tell me now?" For some reason, Kevin was feeling nervous.

Hyungsik took a long, sweeping look around the street, up and through the buildings and trees. "Whenever I sang," he said, "I always tried to express emotions from my heart, make people feel something - like Park Hyosin. That was the only reason I did it. But I can't sing from my heart anymore, because now... my heart is empty."

Kevin was about to say something, but Hyungsik stopped him.

"Wait, there's more to it. In my youth I was always quite pretentious. I thought I could be a great singer like Park Hyosin, but when I left the army I realised that I was actually quite ordinary..."

"Isn't everyone ordinary?"

"Exactly! Everyone I served with, and everyone on this street is an ordinary person, a citizen doing their part for the country. Why should I be any different? I admit that I was confused for quite some time, but now I know what I should do. I'll just get married, and live like an ordinary person."

"But do you actually want to get married?" Kevin asked.

Hyungsik shook his head while smiling. "The Republic of Korea does not strive because of people doing what they want to do."

They were almost at the river.

"But what about Song Hansu?" Kevin said suddenly, aware that he was running out of time.

"What about him?"

"Don't you want to speak to him again?"

Hyungsik gave Kevin a curious look. "It's all over. Hansu rejected me, and in hindsight, I'm glad that he did. Hansu, a poor farmer's son, rejecting a celebrity like me? It really put things in perspective. Besides, seeking him out would be undignified. I have to be a man about it." Hyungsik paused to look at his watch. "I'm almost late for the meeting. It was nice talking to you hyung."

As Hyungsik walked away Kevin thought he could feel a snake curling up inside his belly. He called out: "Hyungsik, come back!"

Hyungsik turned around, confused.

"What's the matter?"

Kevin ran to catch up with him.

"Hansu never rejected you."

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"He never replied to your letter because he never received it."

Hyungsik frowned as he studied Kevin's face. "Why?"

"Because I never gave it to him."

"But... why?"

Kevin had to take a deep breath. "Because I wanted you to end your relationship with him."

"But... why?" Hyungsik's eyes moved to stare into the space behind Kevin's shoulder.

"I thought it would cause you trouble. I only wanted what was best for you."

Still staring into space, Hyungsik started to walk slowly towards the river. He seemed to have forgotten about his appointment. Kevin cautiously followed him.

"Hyungsik - your date..."

Hyungsik stopped in his tracks suddenly and turned to face Kevin. His eyes were narrowed. "When I was discharged from the army I was told that you had moved away but nobody knew why. The others were mad - but I wasn't. We're all ordinary people and we have to live our lives, and I knew that you wouldn't forget about us because you loved us and you would come back. And I was right, you came back... but this! This!"

Hyungsik clumsily tore at his sleeve, pulling off the buttons. He pulled at the buttons at his throat too.

"After all this time I survived being betrayed by Hansu... but I can't survive being betrayed by you!"

Hyungsik continued pulling at his buttons, now dangerously close to exposing himself. When Kevin put a hand out to stop him, he hit it away.

"I'm going home. Don't follow me."

Kevin watched him walk off, his heart in knots.
 

After having created an even bigger mess, Kevin was starting to feel that he had outstayed his welcome. He found a paper shopping bag and ripped off a piece so that he could write a note.

Please call Hyungsik.

He planted it on the fridge next to the ZE:A photo where his face had been covered. He hoped that Minwoo would see it that afternoon.

Kevin returned to packing his bag. On the kitchen counter he picked up the letter to Song Hansu. In all of this, there was one other person Kevin still owed an apology to. He packed the letter into his bag, determined to do at least one thing right.
 

The window on the bus was fogged up by frost. Kevin breathed onto it and wiped with his sleeve so that he could see the outline of the mountains.

On his journey Kevin thought about the last three years suspended in time. It was enough time for him to have become alienated from his friends, so much so that he had been scared to come back. The longer he spent away the more he thought about how everyone was accelerating into the future while he was only filling space. It was like someone had pressed a pause button on his life.

Now he saw that by failing to deliver the letter he had created an indefinite pause in the life of Hyungsik, and Hansu too perhaps. It was only right that he should be the one to set them back in motion.

With every lurch of the bus, Kevin felt more nervous. Three years was far too late to be delivering a letter, and he didn't imagine that Song Hansu would receive him kindly.

As he walked down the country road, he wondered if Hansu even still lived at the same address. The whole place had an empty, abandoned feel to it. After some deliberation, he finally brought himself to knock on the door.

It was Hansu who answered. Kevin recognised him immediately, even with his hair grown back. He still had the same melancholy oval face.

"Song Hansu... do you know who I am?"

Hansu blinked slowly. "Pop singer. Calvin Kim."

"Kevin Kim."

"Yes. Is this about Hyungsik?"

"Yes and no. Can I come in?"

Hansu reluctantly allowed him inside. He took his shoes off at the door and followed Hansu into an empty room. They sat cross legged on the floorboards, facing each other.

Kevin passed Hansu the letter. "You were meant to have this. Three years ago."

Hansu turned the envelope over in his hand, then tossed it aside. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and placed it in between his lips. As he lit the cigarette he gave Kevin a suspicious look.

He breathed out and Kevin turned his head slightly to avoid the smoke. Hansu's eyes moved back towards the envelope he had cast aside. "So why are you here?"

"I wanted to put things right between you and Hyungsik. I stood between you two and I shouldn't have."

Hansu was still looking at the envelope. "No. You were right to do that. There was no point in us having an affair, it would only have come to nothing in the end."

"Did you love him?"

"No, not really." Hansu still avoided Kevin's eyes.

"Oh..."

"You've come a long way for no good reason so it would seem."

From Hansu's window Kevin could see specks of snow falling across the evening sky.

"It doesn't matter."
 

Some hours later Kevin was lying on a blanket in a dusty room. Hansu had let him stay for the night since the snow was heavy. As he lay, he watched a millipede crawl across the floorboard. He couldn't sleep.

The door to the room was slightly open and light was streaming from the other side, suggesting that Hansu was still awake. Kevin crawled to the door and pushed it open some more. He saw Hansu sitting against the wall, the opened letter in his lap and tears running down his face. Kevin paused for a few moments then he crawled into the room.

"Can I talk to you?"

Hansu looked up suddenly and wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. He did not reply.

"You did love him, didn't you? Why don't you go back to him? I know he still has you in his heart."

Hansu shook his head. "You don't really understand what it's like for people like us. I have responsibilities here."

"But it's affecting you?"

"Of course. Falling in love changes a person - no matter how hard you try, you can never go back to how you were before. That is the way of life. The memory of love will always be there, and it's hard to remember what life was like before it." He paused to look at the letter again, and a certain tenderness seemed to touch his features. He said to Kevin: "Is he doing well?"

"You haven't been keeping up with the news? Online?"

"I did for a little while, but I became too sad, so I stopped. Why, did something happen?"

Kevin took a moment to think about how he would explain it. "Hyungsik is... well, he's not himself anymore. He gave up singing, gave up everything really..."

Hansu stared hard at Kevin for a long time. His heavy eyes became narrow.

"So. That's why you are here."