Here I am standing, feeling the sands between my toes. I could feel the muscle on the side of my lips curved upwards indicating unconsciously on how I was feeling on the inside. The wind blow on my direction making every weight on my body felt lighter. It was as if with every breeze blew pass me, the more blissful I was feeling.

 

 

“Oppa…” I called out for him while still trying to contain my excitement deep within me. We have been married for years now and yet none of those presents that I had received from him ever made me felt any bit close to this one. However, the grin that I was having across my face faded almost immediately as I saw him started to pack and got ready to leave the house. It had always been this way. With a single call, I know he would have to leave my side no matter how late or what day it was. He looked up straight to me after he put on his shoes on and with his pearly whites appearing before me, he said, “Yes? You called me?”

 

“Yes… You have to go already?” I asked, hoping that my guess on that was not right.

 

The pearly whites of his, too, slowly vanishing as he took notice of the look I had in my eyes. He stood up from his position by our bed and placed his hands on my shoulder, trying to get my attention. “Tiffany… You know it is my duty-“

 

“I know…” I interrupted him from finishing his sentence. I know that it is his duty to be where they needed him. It is his responsibility when he decided to join this force and for me, it is my duty to be able to understand that our city, our country will always be the first priority; his first priority. I let out a sigh as I smiled; trying to assure him that in fact, I understood and I will be okay.

 

I slowly remove his hands off from my shoulders and hold it in between my grasp as I spoke, “I know… I fully understand, I was just questioning because you just got back…”

 

“I won’t be long. My team located him and I will get home straight after that. I promise I’ll spend time with you, okay?” He said. Word by word let off from his lips. His voice going softer and softer; making me feel something indifferent deep inside as my stomach took its twists and turns.

 

“Just be safe… I’ve got something to tell you and it’s great things!” I blurted out while trying my very best not to give too much away.

 

Those were the words that I said before he left my side that evening. Never had I known that those words were the last few things that I was able to say while still having his gaze on me and those smiles that seemed to welcome me with so much of his attention. A few hours after, I received a call from the station, informing that Donghae oppa had admitted to the hospital after he took a shot on the side of his head and his right hand fractured. Those words of his station manager that came off from the phone speaker had it’s affect on me as I felt my blood flowed down to the ground and my heart sank deeply.

 

 

“Oppa…” I called out for him once I saw his being laid out flat, lifelessly on the hospital bed. His head wrapped with a bandage and his right hand cast. My heart seemed to beat ever so slowly with every step that I took forward closer to him. Usually, when he heard his name being called out even in a whole different room, his smile would be the first thing that greet me despite a few times when we had an argument about his absence during one of our anniversary celebration. He was always smiling even when he was sad. During the time when his father had passed away, he tried his best to keep up with a smile, no matter how heavy it was for him to have done that. Now that, I had called out for him and he did not seem to respond, I felt so much pain in my chest. All I want in the moment was for him to open up his eyes and assure me that I would be able to see that smile of his.

 

“…Kangin oppa told me everything… You did well oppa, you really did.” I said. The tears that I had been trying to hold back from the moment I stepped into the room, made its escape pass my eyelids. I reached out for his hand on his side, as my eyes never left his face even for a moment. “Donghae Pabo-yah...!” I scolded out for him as I let out a small sad chuckle after. “…I told you to take care of yourself before you leave the house, our house. Then, why did you jump in front of the fire to block the bullet from hitting someone else?! Don’t you want to know what I wanted to tell you about? Why are you doing all of this?”

 

I questioned out, wanting so much of my answers from him as if my life depended on it.. Unfortunately, none of it was answered, as he was still laid out in front of me, unconscious and still not moving. My sobbing got heavier and it was gradually getting so hard to even take a breath. Scared? Of course, I truly was. The moment felt like a déjà vu for me as it had been as what I had dreamt of numerous times when he had to leave for work like this. I really don’t wish for things to come off as how I had dreamt of. Not now, not when I am having a baby. Not when we are going to have a junior coming up soon. I need him. Our baby needs him too.

 

“Teee…t” a loud attention seeking alarmed went off from the heartbeat monitor on the other side of the bed, waking me up from my short trance. The doors to the ward flung opened as the doctors and nurses came rushing in. It was happening too fast that all I manage to sink into my head was the fear of him failing on me and leaving me on my own. A nurse was trying to ask me to leave the ward for a moment but all that I managed to do was to have my gaze fixed on him and my foot rooted to the ground. I couldn’t comprehend what I was supposed to do to even move my feet towards the door seemed to be a heavy task to have done when all that the heartbeat monitor seem to be showing was a straight line of decreasing number of heartbeats. The doctor was doing CPR on him countless times to get his heart ready for the shocks that the other nurse was getting ready for on his side.

 

“Ma’am… ple-“

 

“-N..No. I am going to stay here. Please… “ I begged as I tried to get myself loose from her grip.

 

A couple of shock waves had been sent through his chest as I could see his body jumped up from the bed and yet, his heart doesn’t seemed to budge. All of a sudden, the doctor in charged of him voiced out, “Passed: 0345” as the nurse earlier on recorded the time. My eyes widen at the fact that I understood what those words meant. My heart that was beating wildly at the sight of what had tragically happened before me, led me to burst out crying desperately; not wanting to believe what was happening,

 

“No-no… please don’t give up on him. PLEASE!” I cried out loud begging.

 

“I’m sorry. We’ve tried the best that we could.” He said as his eyes expressed his empathy.

 

Refusing to believe the truth, I turn my back on the man that was standing in front of me previously to where my husband was. I climbed up onto the hospital bed and sat straddling on top of him. I got myself in position to do another round of CPR. Having been a doctor, myself, in the States before getting married to Donghae oppa and still was in the clinic near  the neighborhood of our house, I know how to get this things done when the doctor himself had given up hope on him.

 

“COME ON! LEE DONGHAE! DON’T YOU FAIL ON ME NOW!” I pumped up my force on his chest a couple of times before I breathe into him and continued my steps on the CPR. “COME ON!” After a couple of sets, there were not single changes. Warn out, I lowered my upper torso onto him and hid my face on the side of neck as tears fall effortlessly.

 

“Lee Donghae! How can you do this to me? How could you leave me? Napun namja… How can you leave me now when we are going to have a baby soon?” I took his left hand to my tummy for the last time, as I know that I will not be able to feel his touch on my bump once it shows in a few months’ times. The nurses tried to get me off the bed but I just stayed there where I was unmoved. “Just give me a couple more minutes… I’ll be out to sign the paperwork.” I explained myself.

 

Just when nurses had their back on us and the doctor was about to leave the ward, the heartbeat monitor went off again. The number of heartbeat counts slowly rose up. “Dr Shim! Patient’s…”

 

“I know.” In a swift, the doctor turned his head back and rushed towards the bed, without any words, he carried me off from the bed as he started his normal checks on Donghae oppa. Still was not clear of what was happening, I heard the most familiar voice that I had been trying my best not to miss too much.

 

“Fany-ah…”

 

I felt a pair of arms snake through my sides and a pair of palms laying on top the baby bump that I had. Consciously, the smile that I had on my face widen, as I know whom those arms belonged to and the warmth that enveloped me was. I looked up slowly, only to be greeted by his face looking straight towards the beautiful view of the beach and the sea. “Enjoying the view?” He questioned.

 

“Yes, very…” I answered. He smiled down as his cheeks turned to the shades of pink ever so slowly while his pearly whites started to show. The smile that I almost lost and the person that I was so close to losing stood there in front of me.

 

We had gone through too much for the past few months. Donghae oppa went back and forth to the hospital for his check ups and for mine’s. We started to focus on the restaurant, ‘GRILLF5VE’ that we had opened together while he was asked to take a long hiatus from his duty until he is well enough. From the time, that I could see my feet until now that I no longer could, his presence was all that I had and I wish those nightmares that I had about it will not happen.

 

“Don’t leave me, Fany-ah…” He said.

 

“No… You, don’t leave me.” I blurted out. We both ended up laughing at the feeling of a small kick on my tummy by the little Lee Donghae inside of me that seemed to throw a fit at the sound of us having a tiny fit.

 

“Looks like he’s angry…”

 

“Well, not really. Maybe he just does not want anyone to leave him… In addition, I am famish! Let’s go grab dinner, Sooyoung and Siwon oppa is on the way to the restaurant, right?”

 

“Yes. Siwon called earlier, he said he just got off from the house with Sooyoung and Daehan.” He turned me around as he lowered himself to face my tummy. “Daddy’s aegi… Let’s be nice today and not let Mummy tire too much okay?” He, then, end his small conversation he had with the little Lee Donghae with a kiss.

 

At the beach is filled with all of our memories. We got married and said our vows here and most of the time ever since I am filled with the seedling of our love; we had spend most of our time here as well. If he had not come back for the both of us, I may not even want to be here, haunted by our memories, not especially when his favorite place is the sea. All of the miracles in our life started out at sea. He was miracle and he will always be. He was the one who saved me when I almost drowned years ago and that marked the day that we first met. If he did not, I might have not been able to breathe the same air as everyone else, and be able to feel the sand between my toes anymore.

 

When your love is put to the test, what type of results are you hoping to seize?

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author's note;

I'm still on hiatus. i apologise for not being able to upload any new chapterss for my still inpending stories. I'll upload it once i have the chance. But for now, i hope you supergeneration stans, will be satisfied with this. A one shot that i typed out in my phone for quite sometime now. Comments are pretty much appreciated and hope to talk to you soon in another update on 'For the sake of us' or 'My heart'.