[JUNHYUNG'S POV]

it was my first day of school. i feel awkward. after a year and several moths, Seoul felt like a new place to me...as if it has never been home. i took a deep breath upon entering the room and introducing myself...but my deep breath was taken away when i saw the person that i least expect to see... ___________-ah.

it has been a long time since i last saw her. those eyes...that stare, i missed it...though it doesn't show affection to me anymore. Her stare made me shiver, i know i hurted her... should i pretend that nothing happened before? definitely not. i can't pretend. let's not fool ourselves. if she got over it...i should too.

i walked passed her seat and those words that she whispered made me froze.

You: why did you leave me behind?

i clenched my fists tight, it my lips and walked to the empty seat. thw whole time i was staring at her and thinking of the words that she whispered. What does it mean? She's not over me? but... do i have the guts to talk to her? seeing her makes me happy and makes me nervous. guilt rules my body. but i have to fight this off.

the bell rang which signaled the end of classes for today, and before she left, i saw her took a glimpse at me. why won't my heart stop beating like crazy? i still love her. my feelings for her hasn't changed. i followed her and grabbed her hand.

JH: _________-ah.  i can't take this anymore, can we talk for a minute?

she didnt talk or answered my question. she just stared at me. i got the feeling that i should explain so i started to talk.

JH: i'm sorry. you asked me why i left you...

You: forget about it. i was just-

JH: sshh. listen to me first.  a year ago, i had this operation... a 50/50 survival rate-

You: mwo?!
JH: listen first. what if i didn't survive? that would hurt you more.i was afraid to give you a long term pain...i really don't want to hurt you. instead of saying goodbye...i just left. if i leave ,without any trace, you'll get over me and be happy again...it would just be a pain for a short period of time...

You: do you know what you're saying?! *started to cry*

JH: yes. i was really upset that time. i thought i'll get over you if i didnt see you...but..it felt as if i'm dead . i checked your minihompi regularly but you never updated it. all i see were messages for you...telling you to take care and be strong...that almost killed me! i never knew what your condition was. all of them tell me that you're miserable. and that hurted me more. those days that i'm away..i really don't know how to live. i missed you like i'm going crazy.i call for you while i'm crying at night though i know you'll never be there-

tears started to rush down our eyes. i felt the pain all over again as i reminisce those days where i wanted to see her so bad.

You: ssshh~ that's enough...

JH: ahniyo.i hurted you right? i was selfish. i should have told you. i was the reason why you were miserable. the pain that you felt was much more than i felt-

i cant control my tears at that moment. it came rushing down my face. i tlted my head down to hide it but she touched my face, wiped it and stared at me with smiling eyes though there are tears in it.

You: ssshhh~ stop it now. you're here. i'm happy now. that's the important thing right?

she smiled at me. the same smile that she used to wear when we were still together. she pecked my lips. and my tears started to stop. i smiled as i wrapped my arms around her.