I am always the last place.

In fourth grade, I decided to join the track and field club out of pure interest but after a few tries, the coach told me I am not up for the team because I always get the last place. Pure determination and effort won't get me to anything, nor would it get me accounted for.

In fifth grade, I worked my resolve to be the first in rank in my class after finally getting into the advance class. I study until the sun doesn't smile, and rarely did I eat. My grandmother scolded me for it and I should've obeyed her. At the recognition rites, I found out that I am last in my class. A total failure.

When I was five, my parents decided to part ways. I have asked them, "Why are you leaving me?" Apparently, I am just their last choice—their last retort. I am an illegitimate child whose parents choose their second families. I was left with my grandmother, who also chose me the last against her vegetable fields.

And just five years ago, my boyfriend broke up with me because I am last. He prioritizes his career more than me, and that I am the last retort for inspiration. The person...who have promised me that I will always be his first eventually made me his last.

I fidget in discomfort as I was left behind my styling team because they want to see the young and fresh Kang Seungyoon. Gathering up all the courage and esteem I have left, I say, "So, how's everything?"

"Great." He naturally says, pushing his soft red hair away from his face. "I heard you are dating Kim Soohyun."

There it is again: Kim Soohyun. The boy-next-door kind of man who can sweep you off with his stoic, beautiful face. Regrettably, he's still not mine. We still don't have commitments. As if I ever had them.

I smile, trying to be compose and natural with his rebut. "Fine. I heard you're with Kiko."

He laughs, scratching his cheek with his index finger. There is something in his eyes, as they always has been. It shines like it holds the universe, and Jiyong looks appalling as before. The four years we spent dating is something I am proud of. Because at least I hold a long record of his life.

I look at the other side when he turns to look at me. "Yeah. Things are going fine with me. You're going to film a drama right? What's it is about?"

"Well," I start, trying to sound casual. But I ended up speaking formally. "We're going to shoot 2 days and 1 night. You're at Running Man right?"

"It has been a while." He sighs. We're still together when they filmed it.

Come on, Dara! Wake up. He's your ex-boyfriend!

The styling team returns with devilish faces, and I think they did this on purpose. With a heavy sigh, I stand up from my seat and speak without looking at him, "Then good luck. I think I need to take some fresh air outside."

I punch the pole too quickly, my eyebrows forming a deep v in between but my hands still feel as cold as ever. My nervousness is still as its peak.

"Noona, what are you doing?"

I turn to look up and see Seungyoon in his military outfit, which is the same as mine. We're here to make cameos as we promote our new web drama, something I am eagerly want to work on since before. Seungyoon has his hands inside his pockets with stream coming out of his nose and mouth as if he's part bull. The remark makes me laugh inwardly.

"Just taking out nervousness." I answer plainly, massaging my wrists. I grin up at him. "Why? Are you starting to feel worried about your Noona?"

He shrugs. "I just saw GD Hyung from the dressing room. Seems like he just talked to you."

I glare at him. "If you knew the answer, why ask?"

"I am just testing if my ability to see auras are still the same. Taehyun has been strange these days and I can't read him." He sighs in disbelief then looks me with squinted eyes. "Oh yeah, Kim Soohyun sunbae wants to talk to you. He made me deliver the message."

I snarl. "So underhanded and sly, Seungyoon."

"Noona fighting!" He answers, pumping up his fist with masked joy. "Fighting!"

I leave him and walk towards the place I know Kim Soohyun will be waiting, my legs shaking oddly.

I hide behind a wall as I quietly watch Kim Soohyun wait sitting on the chair he pulled out himself. His mushroom-cut hair accentuates the cuteness he has, together with the flat eyebrows and blank look. He is not a day any older than 3 with this kind of concept.

I tiptoe and silently stand behind him. "What is it?" I say, my voice low.

He jerks slightly, showing