They are in love. It was all started with just a simple encounter and it lasted for four years, their love is. Lee Hyukjae is born in a wealthy family, his father own quite a big company yet Hyukjae lead a humble and ordinary life, except for the big house they have. When Hyukjae was in his senior year of high school, he was struggling with his study as his scores was average, furthermore his father wanted him to continue his study in a good university. So as he was trying to study at some nearby coffee shop, because he couldn’t concentrate to study at home since his bed been calling him for a sleep, a guy in a same age as him suddenly knocked over his table and spilled some of his coffee on Hyukjae’s notebook.

It’s unneeded to say that Hyukjae is pissed off, but being the kindhearted he is, he just smiled to the guy though irritation is crafted deeply on his face. The guy who knocked over Hyukjae’s table is keep apologizing while bowing his head again and again, he was feeling guilty and Hyukjae’s oh-so-obvious forced smile made it even worse. But it was a fateful night, turned out the guy is also there for a self study, and upon seeing Hyukjae’s notebook and texts he suddenly volunteered himself to teach Hyukjae as a mean of apology.

Of course Hyukjae denied the request, who would agree when the guy is a total stranger? But the guy is too stubborn and Hyukjae is on his wits end, so in the end Hyukjae had no chose but gave the guy his affirmation. And yes, it all started there, their daily study sessions, casual remarks, learning and opening up to each other and in no time they felt the deep connection between them. After finally the guy mustered of his all to profess his love to Hyukjae, of course Hyukjae accepted it almost immediately. They nurture their love, Lee Hyukjae’s love with Lee Donghae, the guy who is not only knocked over Hyukjae’s table but also his heart.

Four years passed and their love still remains the same, if only not stronger. They are open about their relationship that even Hyukjae’s father knows about it, and accepted it, because he knew about his son’s ual orientation already even before the boy said it to him. So being the lovey dovey they are, Donghae is always coming over to Hyukjae’s house to the point that the house servants would ask Hyukjae if Donghae is sick if the guy didn’t showed up for a day.

“Hi lovely”.

Hyukjae turn his head to the source of the voice, smiling at the precious sight, “hey baby”.

“What are you doing out here in the garden? You’re not cold?”, Donghae sit down after placing a peck on Hyukjae’s temple.

“Not really, the sweater is enough to block the cold. And the tea warmed me up”, he sips on the tea.

“No way, I don’t believe you”, Donghae stretch out his arms, “come here”.

Hyukjae chuckles and come to sit on Donghae’s lap, leaning his head on the latter’s shoulder when a pair of strong arms wrapped him in warmth and protection.

“Don’t you agree it’s warmer this way?”, smiled Donghae brushing his lips on Hyukjae’s forehead.

“And cheesier, yeah”, giggles Hyukjae, “but I love it”.

Both of them giggling and stayed in warmth embrace not minding about anything else as if the world is only them.

“How are you?”, asked Donghae suddenly with concern evident in his voice, Hyukjae immediately knows what is it that the younger is asking him about.

“Not so well…”, sighed Hyukjae, “Dad’s company is slowly sinking and I can’t do anything… I’m useless”.

“Hey don’t say that, you know how precious you are for your dad… And you know how your body is”.

Hyukjae sighed again, “why was I born with this weak body? I want to help dad, but he never allow me because of my body, I’m just a burden”.

“Hyuk, stop saying that, you are not. We should be thankful it’s not some serious illness, I couldn’t bear to lose you, no way. It doesn’t matter if your body is weak or even have some defect, all that matters is that you are alive, breathing and heart beating beside me”, Donghae tighten his embrace as if he fear at the sudden disappearance of Hyukjae.

Hyukjae leans more to Donghae and circles his arm to the younger’s neck, “you are right, the important thing is that I’m not dying, I can’t bear to be apart from you too”.

Donghae smiled upon the words, can’t believe himself that he’s able to love someone to this extent. He placed kisses on Hyukjae’s eyes, nose, cheeks and chin, expressing his love and how perfect his lover is.

“What are you doing these days?”, asked the younger with one of his hand playing with Hyukjae’s hair.

“Hmm, just the usual… I can’t do much since I get exhausted fast, so the most vigorous activities I’ve done is walking the garden and… Well, with you…”, Hyukjae trails off.

Donghae grins naughtily holding in his laughter, “with me what? Doing what?”.

Hyukjae rolled his eyes and slap Donghae’s cheek, “you know what it is, don’t make me say it you ert!”.

Donghae laughs heartily, “you’re not bored having nothing to do?”.

“Not really, you came to see me everyday in the morning after all”.

“Maybe we can have those activity for daily basis too?”, smirked the younger teasingly.

“Great, I just knew you gonna say that”, sighed Hyukjae, “but no, you can’t. It takes too much of me, as much as I love it, it’s very tiring for me…”.

Donghae kiss the older on the lips, gently with love, “I know, it’s okay, in fact it makes me love you more”.

Hyukjae chukle shyly melting by the younger’s understanding, he can’t believe how loved he is despite all of his shortcomings.

“What about tonight? I won’t do a thing, just wanna stayover”, asked the younger.

“Oh, I can’t tonight, I have to accompany my dad for a party. It’s important and maybe we can get a bit of help by socializing there”.

“What? Party?” frowned Donghae in displeased, “will Choi Siwon be there? Because I hope he is not”.

Hyukjae bit his lip, he knows very well that Donghae hate Siwon, despite they never meet each other, because Siwon had displayed his affection towards Hyukjae so openly that is a known fact in the circle. Actually if Hyukjae is willing, he could bring Donghae with him to the party so that the younger would be in much relief knowing that he could make sure a certain someone didn’t make his move on his lover. But Hyukjae didn’t want to, Donghae is an ordinary man with an ordinary life, he didn’t want to bring his lover to that part of his life because it’s not all that glamourous inside. But mostly Hyukjae is afraid that Donghae would come to realization of how different their life is and how it could cause an ounce of uncertainty to grow in Donghae’s heart.

He didn’t want that. He just wants Donghae to see him as a person, just Lee Hyukjae the man that is in love with Lee Donghae.

Knowing his lover jealous streak, Hyukjae did think of lying, but he didn’t do it because his conscience didn’t allow him. “Yes, he would be coming too”, sighed Hyukjae.

“You’re not going there”, snarled Donghae immediately, “you’re so not going to the party”.

“Baby, I have to… In this party we can further our business relation, maybe we can even find an investor for our company. We really need that now, like really, so I hope you understand”.

“…must you attend too?”, pouted Donghae.

“I’m still my dad’s son even though I’m like this, I can’t just never make an appearance when the company is obviously on it’s way of sinking down”, Hyukjae brushing Donghae’s hair with his fingers trying to ease his lover. “Trust me okay? I will always only love you”.

Donghae is looking down, his fingers tugging on Hyukjae’s jeans, he understand it very well that the older have to do this, but he just can’t say yes to the idea. Not when there is someone out there trying to steal his lover from him, no way, he definitely had a bad feeling about this.

Hyukjae cupped the younger’s face, “My baby, look at me. Do you know who is that I love?”.

“Me…”, answered Donghae with a whisper.

Hyukjae lean in to kiss the younger on the lips, and then he peck it over and over again, “that’s right, keep it in your mind. I’ll always love you and only you, so trust me okay?”.

Donghae tighten his hug even more trying to ease down the storm in his heart, he really didn’t want to let go, but then he had no choice so he reluctantly say, “okay… okay…”.

And they stayed in a silent warm embrace, because Donghae didn’t want to let go of the older, not knowing why he’s strangely feeling afraid, fearing the idea of Hyukjae out of his sight. They only broke the embrace when it’s time for Hyukjae to get ready for the party and bid goodbye to his pouting lover.

“Well hello there, beautiful as always”, said a deep low voice coming from behind Hyukjae.

“Good evening Siwon, long time no see”, he turned and greets the man.

“It’s been long, indeed. How are you Hyukjae? I missed seeing you”, the man stepping closer.

“I’m fine, thank you for asking”, smiled Hyukjae politely while taking a step back slowly as not to offend the man.

“Why so formal with me? I thought we’re friends?”.

“We are, but strictly in business”.

Siwon pout, “you don’t miss me? It’s been almost two months”.

“Well, I miss my lover more even though it’s only been two hours since we last met”, stated Hyukjae with a gummy smile, hoping that this answer would make the man give up on courting him.

A frown formed on Siwon’s face, “I honestly can’t understand why you love him, aren’t I far better than him? I’m richer, taller, more handsome than he is and he is just a commoner, he doesn’t deserve you, I did!”.

“It’s not about who is better, I just love him, that’s it. You don’t have to understand why, you just need to know that he is the only one for me, I’m sorry”, said Hyukjae while walking away from Siwon, but his step was stopped when the latter grab on his hand.

“Wait Hyukjae, I’m sorry if what I said upset you. Please, at least you can talk with me as a friend right? I won’t say anything anymore about him, I’m sorry”, pleaded Siwon.

The look of Siwon’s eyes was sincere, so Hyukjae sighed and give in to the man’s plea, “just as friends okay?”.

“Yeah, friends”, grinned Siwom happily, “come on have a toast with me!”.

“Uh, I can’t drink too much…”.

“What is too much? You have only drink one glass of champagne, that’s barely drinking!”.

“Bu- but…”, said Hyukjae uncertain. Should he? He didn’t know if his body can handle alcohol or not, but he’s feeling fine drinking it, so maybe it’s okay.

“Here, here, try this too”, Siwon giving him a glass of wine.

Hyukjae is contemplating first, but then he decided it’s okay to drink a little more, “okay…”.

How wrong his decision was.

He feels a pounding pain in his head and his body feels really heavy. He open his eyes lazily, trying to sit down to somehow ease the pain that is all over his body, like his muscles is overstretched by a heavy exercise. He scanned the surrounding, realizing that he’s on a bed in an unfamiliar room.

Where am I…?

He runs his hand to his head feeling the pain is killing him, leaning down his head and come to realization that he is . His eyes grow wide in terror, so much that all the agonizing pain is left forgotten for a while. He is in an unfamiliar room, on a bed and , the scenario is all too familiar for him to deny the possibility, he was beyond terrified to turn his head and take a look at a figure who is sleeping next to him. He prayed and prayed, oh how he prayed again and again despite he himself knew that what he is praying for is impossible, for hoping that the one sleeping next to him is Donghae, that maybe they met last night at a hotel or something when he was far too drunk to remember.

He was far too drunk to remember alright. But it’s obviously not Donghae, which is why right now all he can do is sit still, unmoving, scared to identify the person who is laying beside him. But he did anyway, he turned his head to take a look and how his heart shattered into million pieces when he did because all of his hope for the person to be Donghae is gone, it was Siwon. And his heart sink even more when he saw Siwon is as as he is, it’s obvious what happened last night.

He gets up from the bed slowly not minding the pounding pain in his head, but then he nearly cries in desperation when he felt a dull pain at his lower back. He can’t believe it himself, he’s terrified, ashamed, and guilty because the pain only further confirming the deed of last night activity. He gathers all of his scattered clothes on the floor while holding in his cry, after dressing himself he runs out the room, the mansion or whatever it is, he didn’t care. He keep running even though he doesn’t know where he is, he simply forced his legs to move, away from the madness and even hoping it could bring him way from reality. It doesn’t.

Tears streaming down unstopping on his cheeks, his body is shaking in denial of the horror that is reality, screaming incoherently in desperation. He couldn’t believe himself, he hates and loathes himself for allowing this to happened.

He feels filthy.

He betrayed his love.

He betrayed Donghae.

Then he fell on the side road feeling his consciousness leaving him, his body was weak from all the strenuous activities and the emotional blow made it worse. But he could careless about it, right now death is a better choice than living in his betrayal to Donghae. How can he show his face now? This is just as good as losing Donghae, so what is the point of keep on living?

He shut his eyes, feeling the rough asphalt road hit his head.

And his mind embracing death as a runaway.

But he didn’t die, of course.

When he open his eyes he didn’t remember what happened, his memories is still floating about in the back of his mind as his brain is only just waking up. He look around, recognizing the room this time it was his. And the moment he turn his head to the right, all the horrible memories of this morning came rushing into his mind, he was flooded by guiltiness and self loathes once more. Donghae was sitting on a chair beside Hyukjae’s bed, a warm smile painted on his face and his eyes filled with worry and love. How can Hyukjae face him after all that? He felt that he didn’t deserve Donghae’s love, not anymore. The pain when he look at his lover’s face is something no one can describe, it’s beyond awful.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?”, soothed Donghae and reaching out his hand to caress Hyukjae’s cheek.

The older palmed his face and close his eyes, he don’t know what to do, unable to talk and forcin