lapslock. freeform.

jiyong never settles for something for a long time, always exploring;  trying something new out, experiencing something better. he changes his mind as rapid as a bullet train or maybe faster.

seunghyun watches jiyong go through numerous phases. one time jiyong appeared in his apartment with bubblegum hair and the next time they met, which was two days later, the bubblegum was replaced by fiery red. there was another incident where jiyong spent half of his monthly allowance on some expensive clothes but soon enough the said clothes are long forgotten in his closet.

seunghyun never complains. jiyong looks the happiest when he tries something new. the glimmer in the younger's eyes, bright smile plastered on his pretty face and that certain glow coming from jiyong that seunghyun once convinced himself that he was just seeing things, are so hard to ignore. besides, a good best friend should make sure his best friend is always at his happiest.

the thing about jiyong is, his feelings and mind don't only fluctuate on things but on people too. seunghyun remembers the first one, a handsome part-time model from jiyong's management class named lee soohyuk. the guy was mysterious, he rarely spoke but when he did, jiyong would find himself falling more and more until he's finally fallen and spending less time with seunghyun. jiyong fell so hard and fast.

then there came jeon jungkook.

jungkook was a freshman and very passionate about dancing. jiyong would always drag seunghyun with him to watch jungkook's performances. seunghyun witnessed how jiyong fell in love with the young boy. jiyong fell hard and fast again and it was soohyuk's turn to be left in the dust.

there were more after jungkook, a guy named song kyungil who he met at a bar one night, hong jonghyun who he bumped into starbucks, and some people whose names seunghyun can't remember. 

seunghyun watches from the sideline as jiyong move on from person to person, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him without realizing.

daesung, seunghyun's roommate would only squeeze his shoulder and give him a sympathetic smile everytime jiyong moves on. it was no secret between them how in love seunghyun is with his best friend.

loving jiyong is not rainbows and unicorns, it is the exact opposite. it was hard to watch someone you love move on that way, like a butterfly flying from one flower to another.

well butterflies are beautiful, and so is jiyong.

seunghyun finally decided to let go of his feelings, he realized one day after a night of hard drinking that it wasn't fine anymore. jiyong rushed to him the same day, so worried because seunghyun was not picking up his calls.

and before seunghyun knew it, jiyong moved on to him.

they were walking under the pouring rain and sharing one umbrella when jiyong turned to face him and kissed him right there and then. seunghyun realized he couldn't let go of his feelings, and he was very very in love so he kissed jiyong back. the younger tasted sweet and so intoxicating that seunghyun found himself falling even deeper for jiyong.

seunghyun forgot how fleeting jiyong is, that he never settles to something or someone longer than a few months. seunghyun could not remember the broken hearts jiyong left before they started their relationship. it was so easy to not remember the past because jiyong's kisses, touches, words - even the way he screams seunghyun's name whenever he drives at the perfect spot were like a spell. a spell that would make seunghyun forget everything, and have him wrapped around jiyong's finger.

it was as if another spell was casted on him when jiyong broke up with him one day. seunghyun should have known from the very beginning but how could he when jiyong was nothing but the sweetest boyfriend for 2 months. 2 months of caresses, endless promises that they would settle down one day, intoxicating kisses and nights filled with intimate moments were all disregarded when jiyong walked away.

daesung had to break into seunghyun's room one night to make sure his rommate was still breathing, he hadn't left in days and daesung was worried.

"it- it was ing perfect you know." seunghyun looked away as he tried to hold his tears. he doesn't cry, maybe that's why it was hard for him to let it all go. "but then he had to tell me he was suffocating- and- and that what we had as best friends was more important. he didn't want mess our years of friendship. what the " he breathed unevenly. he could feel his tears but still denied it.

daesung hugged him long after that and insisted he slept close to seunghyun to make sure he would be okay.

jiyong tried calling him days after that. seunghyun wanted to reject the calls and ignore him but he was jiyong. jiyong who was like a ray of sunshine, jiyong who was always the best part of seunghyun's day. jiyong who would always leave seunghyun breathless. seunghyun is always weak for jiyong.

daesung cornered him one night when he returned home after hanging out with jiyong and told him to stop doing what he was doing. "it's not healthy anymore, hyung. please stop. stop doing this to yourself." but seunghyun assured him that he was okay. however the bags under seunghyun's eyes and the hollows on his cheeks tell otherwise.

seunghyun still loves jiyong despite everything. the way jiyong crinkles his eyes when he smiles at seunghyun makes it so hard for him to let the younger man go.

it wasn't too long when jiyong brought a guy over at some party he and seunghyun were both invited. dong youngbae, another guy whose name seunghyun is going to start remembering.

jiyong moves on, and seunghyun is still at the same place, motionless as he watches pieces of him shatter as jiyong gets further and further away.