He thought they had the perfect relationship.

How could they not? They complemented each other so well. Daesung was gentle, hilarious, open, and quick to divert attention to himself to prevent someone else from being humiliated; Seunghyun was brusque, often serious, private about his love life, and sometimes so awkward that he wanted to crawl into a hole. But he knew when Daesung was faking, for the cameras or their managers or because he was so used to it he couldn’t seem to stop. He saw past all that and let him know that he didn’t have to pretend everything was all right around Seunghyun: he could just be himself. At least he thought he did. 

As time went by, it became painfully obvious to Seunghyun that he had been deluding himself.

“Can we just go away?” Daesung asked.

He wasn’t looking at his boyfriend. He was staring at his hands, folded neatly on the table next to an untouched cup of tea.

“Just the two of us. For a little while.”

Seunghyun sighed. He knew Daesung was trying to avoid a sobering conversation on the state of their union. That morning he had ambushed him with fresh bagels from the American bakery down the street, which meant that he had (with great difficulty, knowing Seunghyun’s sleeping habits) gotten up early to surprise him, which in turn meant that he had been planning this in advance. When he had said that they needed to talk, Daesung had put the blueberry bagel back on the plate.

“About what?”

Seunghyun snorted. It was just like him to fake ignorance. He was way beyond thinking that his boyfriend was naive and innocent. He remembered a time when he was so lovesick that he always fell for Daesung’s claims of forgetting an anniversary that he viewed as important, or believing him when he said it was an accident that he had flirted with a member of a band or a variety show. But that was then, and this was now.

“You know damned well what. What are we doing? More importantly, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to eat breakfast in peace.”

“Yah! I brought you that breakfast.”

“Well, if this is the cost, I’d rather not have it.”

Daesung pushed the plate away only to have Seunghyun return it with twice as much force.

“The cost is talking to your boyfriend like a person who likes your boyfriend.”

“I make you breakfast every other morning and I don’t expect anything in return,” said Daesung craftily.           

Seunghyun blinked. He wasn’t about to let his skillful way with words trick him into both feeling guilty and changing the subject. Daesung may be good at killing two birds with one stone, he thought, but that wasn’t the only thing he was killing.

“Then you should tell me that.”

His chair legs scraped loudly against the floor as he pushed off from the table, screeching like a train coming to a halt.

“That train is our relationship,” he announced.

“What?”

Seunghyun needed to stop unintentionally sharing thoughts out of context. He rose from the table, watching as Daesung’s eyes grew larger.

“You shouldn’t just bottle up your thoughts about always preparing breakfast so that you can play the martyr all the time. I want you to tell me when you want me to do something. I can’t read minds, you know.”

“I told you that I don’t expect anything—”

“Except for me to feel like I owe you something when you remind me that you don’t, what was it, expect anything in return? How’s that for ironic?”

Daesung opened his mouth, then shut it. Seunghyun looked on triumphantly. He so rarely got the final word.

“I make you breakfast because I love you,” he said.

He knew that the l-word still gave Seunghyun butterflies, but he wasn’t done talking.

“You bought me breakfast because you want to talk about some problems that don’t exist and because you can’t cook.”

He was switching tactics from evasive maneuvering to deliberately missing-the-point. Seunghyun’s mind was spinning from the 180 degree turn and pure rage.

“Don’t exist? You think that you trying to wind me up all the time is a problem that doesn’t exist? That you lying, pretending, keeping secrets—”

“Can we just go away? Just the two of us. For a little while.”

Seunghyun sighed, disappointed that he wouldn’t have his say that morning.

“Might do us some good,” Daesung said, rising from his seat. “I’m leaving first.”

He started walking towards the door, then thought better of it. He came back. Seunghyun looked at him hopefully.

“I deserve this bagel,” Daesung declared, snatching the blueberry bread off the plate before running out the door.