What does SoLim means to you?

Jaerim’s precious woman and that woman’s man.

Jae Rim stared at the words So Eun had written last night through her Instagram account as an answer to one of their fans. His mind is wandering… and wondering.

“Jaerim’s precious woman.”

He has been thinking a lot about these words for a few hours now. Throughout their virtual marriage, he had always been proclaiming that to the whole nation, proudly so. Back then, he has all the rights to claim that she is his. His.

But now…

He sighed. And touched So Eun’s smiling face on his screen.

~

“What am I to you?” He is drunk. The whole world seemed to be spinning and So Eun’s smiling face was all he could see. It was the night of their closing party with the whole We Got Married staff.

“Oppa!” She giggled when he placed his head on her lap… one of the things he would terribly missed doing. “People might misunderstand.” She said.

“I don’t care. They are drunk as I am, anyways. They probably wouldn’t care and wouldn’t remember a thing by tomorrow.” He grabbed her hand, kissed her palm and the back of her hand, then intertwined their hands and placed it on his chest. She softly caressed his face with her other hand, her finger traced his features while she had this solemn look on her face.

“I wish I know what you were thinking.” He whispered as he looked at her face.

“Am I really that unpredictable, Oppa?”

“You… you’re a mystery to me. There are times I thought that I have managed to tear down all the walls you’ve built. But each time, I would find another wall between us. It’s a shame…”

“It’s a shame because you got tired?” She asked playfully but her eyes held that certain of insecurity.

He wanted to laugh it off but his raw emotions are taking a toll on him. Most of the time, when he is sober, he will surely laugh off the serious conversations that they would have. They were good at it. The push and pull game. When one would step forward, the other would take steps backward.

But not right now…

“It’s a shame that before I could tear down the last wall, our virtual marriage has ended.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I wish I could, you know.” He whispered. “I wish I could get tired running towards you and head to another direction. I wish I could stop trying to break the walls in between us. I wish I could turn my back on you, pretend that you don’t exist… pretend that you aren’t deeply engraved to my heart. But I can’t… I just can’t.”

They were silent afterwards. His confession lingering around them. They were looking at each other, spell-bound.

She traced her finger on his eyes, nose, lips… “Are you still drunk?”

He sighed… thinking she is doing it again. That push and pull game. He closed his eyes, his dizziness and grogginess are in full force… clouding his mind.

“I am.” He said.

“You should have not drink too much. If you could only see your state right now…”

“What am I to you?” He repeated his words softly. So soft that she probably didn’t hear it as she continued on rambling on how can he go home when he is that drunk, as well as his manager. On how he should have controlled his drinking… on how she looked stupid now talking to a drunk person who won’t even remember what she is saying or anything. And then he felt her face close, a warm feeling on his forehead. She whispered something… he felt warm liquid on his cheek.

He tried to concentrate and fight off the sleepiness but failing miserably.

“…That’s what you are to me.”

~

His eyes widened… remembering it. He isn’t sure but he heard her last words… answering his question.

He scrolled his phone, stopped on her name, pressed call and then he waited, her voice recording filled his ears. He tried for another three times and it all went unanswered. He sighed, frustrated.

He pressed message.

“So Eun-ah… we need to talk.”

~

People who are drunk won’t remember a thing. So Eun laughed at herself knowing full well that it is just a misconception. She knows that it is just a pathetic excuse of a drunk person so that they can deny doing some stupid things on their drunken state.

She looked at her phone as it rang and rang, Jae Rim’s name on her screen. Once… twice… then on the fourth time, it stopped.

Then a message.

She sighed.

Truthfully, she is scared. Her words last night made her heart beat so fast and she knew she is blushing terribly.

“But for how long will you be a coward, So Eun?” She asked herself out loud.

~

 Tears has endlessly flow and she had asked the production team to stopped the black room interview filming. They were kind enough to oblige and they all gave her the space she needed. They also mentioned that they will be having a closing party and she nodded in affirmation that she will be going.

She immediately went towards the ladies and there she allowed her tears to fall once again.

She never thought she would this be regretful ending their virtual marriage. When she decided to join, it was for the purpose to show to the nation her true personality in order to break out of the image that she had been tagged for so long.

It was always for that reason… until he came… until Jae Rim became her reason.

She doesn’t know how to handle a person like him. He has always been the showy type, the person that would speak his mind without a care in the world. His gestures are always over the top… always giving, always loving… always.

So she worked hard. Making him smile. Matching his cheesiness. Making him laugh and cringe… making him happy. Before she knew… his smile and happiness became one of her reasons why she continue doing this show.

She had almost failed in making him happy. Seeing his uncertainty when they talked about the unfortunate incident that almost crushed her career… but the comments didn’t affect her as much as his broken face affected her.

So she worked harder. Showing to him how much he means to her has become her reason. His smile has become her salvation; her strength.  Slowly… he had penetrated her heart, taking residence on the huge part of her heart.

She had depended on him so much and she had received from him so many things that she is afraid that she hasn’t given enough. That she hasn’t done enough.

And now… their virtual marriage has come to an end even before she can ask him to accept her heart.

~

He is here somewhere. She had managed to convince her friend, Go Ara, to take a peak on Jae Rim’s schedule on their company’s database.

She never answered his message. And she knows that Jae Rim understands that she isn’t ready. She had watched yesterday’s broadcast and it is a surprise that she had watched it without shedding a single tear. Probably because she had already decided to be brave.

She had delayed this too much. She’s afraid that it might be too late, but she will do it anyways.

She strolled around the streets of Itaewon, where Ara said that he’s currently at. Even though she decided to be brave, part of her is still a coward to message him that she is there.

“Fate…” She whispered… deciding to fully rely on fate. It might just be an excuse… but she wanted to know if fate, if such really exists, will allowed them to meet.

She’s been there for almost 30 minutes, appreciating the freedom of just walking without any cameras and watchful eyes following her.

Except one.

She felt it… she felt him. She turned around slowly and saw Jae Rim standing a few meters away from him, catching his breath (probably from running), looking at her with so much intensity.

He took her breath away.

~

His eyes must be playing tricks with him. He is busy laughing with his friends when one petite young lady caught his attention, slowly walking across the street before turning to an alley.

“So Eun-ah…” He whispered and run towards her direction. He almost laughed recalling his words to her during that night.

“I wish I could get tired running towards you and head to another direction.”

But no… he just can’t. His feet, his entire body, his mind, his heart… will always be running towards her.

~

They were now sitting at one coffee shop that he always frequented at because it gave him privacy. The owner, who had grown to love Jae Rim like his own son, is kind enough to close his shop for them, to allow them their privacy.

No words have been exchanged between them since they saw each other again. There is a big elephant in the room that they chose to ignore and just sipping their coffee. Their eyes will meet… as if communicating.

Then slowly, their hands found one another.

“I wish I could get tired.” He whispered.

“You could rest…” She said. Intertwining their hands. “For I won’t run away anymore.”

~

“SoLim… that’s what you are to me.” She whispered knowing full well he is drifting off to sleep.

“SoLim…” He whispered on his sleep.

She smiled and laughed. She knew he might have heard her. And when he realized that he isn’t dreaming of it… he will realized what she meant.

What she wanted to say.

‘I am yours and you are mine.’

END