Her colors were green and red. Contrast in terms. Her lips were soft and kissable, painted in red so deep, it seemed crimson against her otherwise pale skin. Jiyoon's voice was like an echo, both a gentle husk and melodic timbre that would waft across the common room in a matter-of-fact sort of way. With brown eyes were wise and pained, filed with distinctly withdrawn sadness that probably wouldn't ever heal, her world was very small. Secluded in both her stubborn willpower and aloof demeanor.

More than that, she was a beauty who unflinchingly etched her life into everything and everyone she came across.

Maybe that was why even her most basic common sense screamed of how wrong this was. It would do her little good, although her heart retorted that if it was right choice. The conflict warred within her. While a strange sense of confusion clouded over her, she could do no more than down in her mental abyss. She had shared a bed with other woman before, this woman particularly, yet this was forbidden ground.

She had never before touched a woman, never the same way that she touched the one innocently laying upon her chest.

The woman in question, with dark colored hair, seemed a lost in a bliss that could only come from reaching heavens. Sooner or later she would end up falling back down to earth, crashing headlong into reality. "If only this lasted forever." Jiyoon said, wondering if she'd beed heard at all. "Then we wouldn't have to worry about what comes next." The woman atop her didn't answer, her breathing shallow and comfortable.

Witth a sigh, Jiyoon shook her head bitterly. Gayoon, you never think that far ahead, do you? The thought bothered her. They were trapped on the godforsaken planet and eventually the sun would rise to another day. It dampened her spirits and she couldn't pull her gaze away from the woman atop her.

Bedding down with a woman was an experience unlike one Jiyoon had previously encountered. The feeling was uncanny and entirely unnerving. She didn't mind it and enjoyed it, but the feelings welling in her chest were not one she had ever become comfortable with. She doubted if she ever would accept them.

"." Jiyoon cursed once she realized that now that she'd felt this woman's embrace, she would never be able to go on being alone. What am I going to do? She shook her head again. She brought her free hand up to her forehead grasping at the roots of green hair. What would Minsun do? Thinking of her boyfriend's death still bothered her, but she still turned him for inspiration in desperate times and situations. What the hell would he say about it...

Gayoon's balm had tasted like strawberries. Her hair smelt as free as a morning's crisp rain and her body was as soft as an ocean kiss, as free as the tides itself. Without thinking, Jiyoon pushed some brown tresses behind the shell of the woman's ear, wondering idly if such an action would cause the inquisitive woman to wake. Praying beyon all reason that it would, so that she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts any longer.

"Jiyoon..." Gayoon murmured sleepily a moment later.

"Hmm?" The woman responded with a choked nervousness and coughed to grasp some fresh air.

"What if it had been different?" Gayoon asked, almost afraid to look the woman she loved in the eyes. "What if I hadn't gotten married and hadn't just walked out back then?" The real question Gayoon wanted to ask died in . "Why..." Weakly she tried to force it anyway, but to no avail.

Why didn't we just admit it? Why didn't we just stay together? Why didn't we apologize when we had the chance? Why didn't we let go of the past? Why can't we do those things now? Why...

There was too many questions and no correct answers. It all seemed like a deep and dangerous undercurrent. Jiyoon doubted she could keep her head above the water and thus her desires. "If I had stayed..." Jiyoon murmured brokenly, unsure of her answer. "It would have been different, I guess." That she had to admit. She couldn't guarantee things would have been better, but events would have played out differently. "If I had thought saying somethin would help, I would have long time ago."

"You didn't." Gayoon said, wishing to her more. "I wanted you to."

"Me too." Jiyoon said softly. "I just couldn't."

"Then maybe you can say something now." As the other wonam said this, she took a sight of those dainty hands that were always so carefully taken care of. "I'd listen to whatever it is that you feel you need to say.

"What would be the point?" It was the question that had buried deep into her mind when she first realized Gayoon was pregnant, when their group of friends were ripped in half. "I suppose I don't need to say anything."

That wasn't the truth, but it was the nearest thing to a confession Jiyoon was willing to give. Gayoon was still a married woman with children. It didn't matter that their father wasn't around for them. They still weren't hers to claim, they never had been and never would be.

"You know that's not true." Gayoon told her, it was an admonishment shared after all this time and hardship. "I've been listening a long time. Your talk says more than you want it to, I think."

"It might as well be that way." Jiyoon replied, unwilling to utter the every words that had always been a sordid pretense for everything she did. "I'm not going to say it." Still, she was in this woman's bed and had touched what was never hers to begin with. There was something gratifying about that, although it wasn't a thruth that would do any good acknowledging out loud. Even speaking of the tiniest bit about her feelings confused her, but she knew one thing. "I think you should divorce him."

The woman was usually warm with a smile that was radiant in its own ways, but the frown that marred her face at the order left nothing to question. "I can't do that." Gayoon said after she took in the depth of the request. "Even if I could without worry, there would be unforeseen repercussions." Then she rolled over, hiding her face in the pillow. "Our marriage isn't really a happy one, but Jinwoo and I have an understanding." Then a little shylu, considering that, Hachi ran her figertips over Jiyoon's arm. "It's that kind of blindness that allows me to share my bed with you tonight. He'll turn the other cheek, because I do it for him."

"That's a horrible way to think." Jiyoon grumbled unhappily.

"We're good at fogiveness and constant betrayal." Gayoon said in way of an explanation. "I don't expect you or anyone else to understand."

"You can't be content like that, can you?" Jiyoon asked, a mere question of curiosity and little more.

"Could you?" Gayoon returned slowly, lifting her face from its hiding place.

"No." Jiyoon finally sighed after a moment of thought. "I was never cut out to be a wife." It was with offhanded and sideways glance that Jiyoon came to that conclusion. She felt unusually lucky for having mentality that she did, even if it got her into trouble more often than not. "I don't know what love is." She said. "I don't think I ever took the time to learn."

"I don't believe that." Gayoon laughed. "You show love for others all the time."

"No." Jiyoon murmured darkly. "I don't. I never have. You're so loyal, but I don't think like that." Gayoon amused her with such blind trust and ahppiness so easy going sometimes. It was almost dangerous. "Gayoon, I don't think I could ever be like you."

"Our marriage is of convenience only, even if we do care for each other on some level. If it's love, it's very twisted." Gayoon sighed. "I've come to realize, I'm kind of ." Then with a self-deprecating smirk, she shook her head. "I don't even think I can say I'm loyal with any sort of confidence. I'm sharing a bed with you, while my husband is overseas. What does that say about me, when I know other woman is warming his bed?"

"You waited for me, didn't you?" Jiyoon shrugged then, a soft smirk playing on her lips. "It figures."

"Jiyoon, please try to understand... It wasn't like I wanted to marry him and didn't just expect anyone to take care of me. It's just that I know deep down, I'm not a strong person." Gayoon said with a shake of her head. "But even more than that, when I found out I was pregnant with my first born, I was afraid." It felt so long ago now and yet, one thought of her children reminded her that it really wasn't" I chose the guy with the money, even though I knew it wouldn't work out the way I really wanted it to."

It was hard to admit all of that, knowing that the words would only rubbed away a stray tear that threatened to fall from her eyes. "If I had been stronger person, I would have raised the baby on my own. I wouldn't have had a second." It was even harder to force a smile. "Still, their father cared for them in his own ways and that's what keeps me there."

"I knew I souldn't have let you off your leash." Jiyoon sighed as she took of her dog tag. "You're stuck for now and I understand that."  Jiyoon said slowly, wondering if this was really such a good idea, but old habits died hard and old feelings never really went away. "You stay here as long as you need, but you're mine." It was the only conclusion Jiyoon had ever really come to. "I'll look after you. You won't have to worry about money and when you want to leave him, you can. Your kids can come too."

She put the dog tag around Gayoon's neck without thinking too deeply about the implications or about what she knew the act implied, the unspoked vow went deeper than blood, bone and their every souls. "I'm not very good with feelings, they're useless in a lot of ways."  Jiyoon admitted as she fastened dog tag. "I just don't want them to be useless to you too. They tend to weigh people down."

"But Jiyoon, I've never felt that way." Gayoon said, taking Jiyoon's hands into her own. "I've always felt that with you, those days of my life were the happiest. I finallt feel like maybe I can find some of that again. I'm happy now, you're here by my side."

Faith was a feeling that seemed too good to be true and Jiyoon didn't think too deeply on the subject. She watched the days slowly pass by, standing in the shadows. She cared greatly for the woman of dark stresses, even if she refused to announce such a thing. Instead, she stood in the doorways with casual smile on her face, the same way she used to do back in their dorm. Their friends would sit around the table playing cards and she would let her eyes wander just over the top of her hand to silently scream what she would not say, exactly as she had when they were younger.

Now she understood the feelings in her heart were so unclear before.

It wasn't ideal and there was nothing perfect about the slow drift of time going by, knowing she had missed so much and knowing she hadn't been strong enough to claim what she knew should have been hers, at least in spirit. Even if she couldn't really claim the woman she loved as her own, even if she could never say those words she desperately wanted to, she could think them, breath them and even live them.

Jiyoon nodded, her lips void the crimson red she often painted onto them. She leaned in close, breath ghosting across Gayoon's own. "I don't ever want to loose you again and leave."

"Then don't." Gayoon murmured as rolled over onto her back. "That;s all you have to do, everything else will work itself out." With contently hooded eyes that were inviting, her cheeks colored with the slighest blush. The caress upon her face was hesitant as Jiyoon seemed to study her in confuson, a hint of nervousness glimmering her in her chocolate brown eyes. "Do you think you can do that?"

A hard swallow, shaken sigh and forced smile gave way to the torrent of fears best left to rot in her past. "I don't know." She leaded down, leaning over Gayoon, elbows digging into the feather pillows as her fingers toyed with stray, tussled bangs. "But I'll try."

"I love you." Gayoon breathed, her words so quiet they dissipated into dim room.

A somewhat shy chuckle was Jiyoon's reply, but the kiss she placed upon strawberry glossed lips spoke of everything she refused to say.