It was a cold windy night.

 

Sehun has drank all kinds of beverage that he knows is sure to knock out someone to sleep fully and dream.he drank everything,anything he could find on his refrigerator in hopes of catching sleep,but still to no avail.

He's been doing these techniques for 6 years already.He wanted to  desperately see him.He really needed to see him again,He thinks as he downs another glass of milk.

 

still nothing.

---

 

He fell inlove with someone who isn't  real.but isn't  fictional either.because he sees him & even talks to him in his dreams.

they even went on dates or at times make out before.he made Sehun happy whenever they're together when things get too tough for the other reality-wise.it all looked too real,too perfect for him back then,until his alarm goes on & steals him from his beloved angel,Signaling a start of a new day.

 

he remembers giving the boy a nickname the first time he popped up in his fantasies and talked to him.

 

He called him an angel.The ethereal looking guy looked puzzled as to why Sehun would call him that.he doesn't even posses wings the last time he checked.

Sehun bows his head down and looks at his feet as he shyly admits "You look really nice and pure.and your smile..it makes me feel like i have seen one.its so pretty.also the way you laugh and sing sounds as pretty as a lullaby.like how people portray angel's voices." Sehun then raised his head a little to see the said angel's reaction.the angel was blushing and smiling so happily at him that Sehun felt he just had to do something to make that smile lasting and worthwhile.so he kissed him.

 

And he kissed back.He knew he shouldn't.

---

 

He's pretty sure all there's left to his fridge now is meat & veggies.With a defeated sigh.he made his way to the bedroom and grabbed the bottle in his bedside cabinet downing a tablet or two.before slipping away out of consciousness,he brokenly says "When will i ever see you again,Suho..." hoping the other would hear him & answer him.

 

∇Δ∇

 

6 years ago since Suho disappeared from his life, & Sehun still misses him from time to time,Luhan observes as he heard the other whisper desperately about seeing Suho before going to sleep in their shared bed.He really thought he forgot about him-about his angel and remembered him only as the incubus who almost the life out of him and how Sehun's eyes looked dead when he met him for the first time."I just hope if he ever comes back....You'll choose to be with me this time." Luhan defeatedly sighs as he brushes stray hairs from Sehun's face.He really wishes Sehun would pick him this time if the angel offered sehun to be together with him again.

 

After 6 years,he finally showed up.Sehun couldn't be any happier.

 

But not for the reasons Luhan thought.

 

"Suho! I missed you so much!there are alot of things i need to tell you and questions i have got to ask too!" Sehun says almost without breathing,he sounded completely elated seeing Suho again.But Suho wasn't.

 

Or he tries to pretend not to.

 

I found someone Suho! I really did! He makes me happy and makes me feel all kind of weird things and all,but i like it.I'm so sad he cant see you if only-"

 

"I'm sorry.we shouldn't be seeing together anymore." 

 

Sehun was stunned at Suho's sudden interruption he didn't know what else to say other than the word "Why?"

"I'm not real,I'm just a dream.without your brain i would cease to exist in the first place...and you must have known by now I'm not really an 'angel' huh.that I'm not really pure and innocent and am actually a representation of everything that's bad in this world".Suho says the last few sentences with a confused and ashamed expression.

"But why do you still treat me like this?like nothing ever happened?you almost died because of me.don't tell me you don't even remember."He hung his head lowly,not even gonna think of seeing Sehun going still all smiles at him.

 

And with little curiosity,he tilted his head upwards ever so slightly to see his face.

 

indeed,he was still smiling.

 

It broke his nonexistent heart which he started having whenever Sehun is around.

 

"You could have killed me earlier and faster the first time i agreed.but why did it take long? And you didn't even try that hard to capture me too when the real chasing happened.I love you.You loved me.i don't think you are that kind of person Suho,I trusted you with my life and heart.and i am pleased you didn't prove me wrong."

Suho just looks like he wanna cry and stab himself repeatedly."I never asked to be an incubus.I just wanted to be a real person.Seems like being a real person is hard.I'm not a real person yet my feelings got the best of me.i gave up being a person since you guys die early anyway." He quips and with that Sehun laughed.

His brows furrowed questioningly."What's funny? Its the truth though!" "I know.its just the reality always sounds funny whenever you say it.i really missed you saying those." Sehun admits sincerely.

Suho smiles at him,the same smile he did when Sehun told him why he wanted to call him angel."i missed you too,you know.but this relationship is not healthy.with me being an incubus and all and you...finding a partner..."

"But to be honest...i still love you.i love you more than i can ever love him.i think of you,where you might be everytime whenever i look at the classroom's window with a pefect view of the sky,cause it reminds me angels live in heavens.up in the skies.not only that though,its like i think of you everywhere,anywhere.i don't want Luhan to be hurt...but i cant pretend with you infront of me again.after all these years.i have and will still love you."

Suho tries to frown but his smile seemed more evident at the other's confession."Sehun,please don't try to make this hard on me.I'm trying to let you go,stupid. I cant really afford being with you.i love you.and i love you enough to not let you get hurt literally because you know I'm an incubus.and unless i started devouring you and your dreams,i will never become human.you deserve so much better than me.i don't even know what you saw in me to fall helplessly like this.Please don't fall inlove with me anymore.find a real person.better yet,that Luhan guy you told me earlier.do all the stuff we did together with him.be happy.You love him as much as you loved me.you might not see that now,but I'm sure you will see my point in the future.You know I'm never wrong right?" He tried to lighten the gloomy atmosphere by smiling and teasing him.

 

He expected Sehun giving in to his smiles since he does that to lighten everything no matter how sad or serious Sehun is.but he wasn't prepared for what he heard instead.

 

"If only i got two of me,i would lend the first one for you to eat and devour and the other one to be with you.He has his head slightly tilted down that most of his features were covered by his bangs and only his lips were showing-showing that sad,sad smile."Funny,right?"

 

"Oh,Sehun.if you only knew how much i wanted to be human for you.But you should really value real people.cause if you start moping after meeting me for the last time,the only person who loves you,took care of you and saved you,family and relatives aside,might be gone too.and you are dumber than an idiot if you let that happen." Suho smiles at him.a smile too wide and too cheerful,unfit for the speech he just said.

Sehun, now crying openly,nods and tried to make a coherent response but only said "I'll try to" clearly.It was all the confirmation Suho really ever needed.atleast he'll try.that's a start.

"Good.then my mission for coming here is over then.see you when I'm human! Whenever that is.haha...Good bye,Oh Sehun."

Sehun,trying to calming down from all the crying,barely registered the last words Suho said.and when the words finally clicked in his head he snapped his head up so fast he almost got a heart attack seeing Suho whose distance from him was a hairs breadth away suddenly.

 

Suho,seeing his reaction of mixed surprise and sorrow(more of surprise though) laughed hard at his face.

 

"See?this is why i fell inlove in you at the first place.and i will never regret it."

 

Sehun cups Suho's face which makes the other stop laughing and smiles instead.

 

"And now i actually found out why i fell inlove with you too.I'm actually a er if i really did kill you just to be a human.falling inlove with you is the best experience,memory and feeling i have ever been given and felt.and for that Oh Sehun,I'm thankful.thank you.thank you so much."

 

"Suho?"

 

 "Hmm?" 

 

"Before you leave,i just wanted you to know and let you remember.you are still an angel.even if you represent all the bad that is in the world,how i look at you will still just be the same.your'e still My Guardian angel Suho.Guardian angel who is nice and pure.and your laughter amd singing is still an embodiment  of angel's symphony.and your smile...its radiance even beat the sun.there is literally nothing like it for me."

 

"Thank you.those words meant so much to me you wouldnt even know how deep its sank into my heartBut,i guess its farewell now.Goodbye,oh sehunnie.my first love.see you." Suho said,with  grief and gratefulness in his voice.

 

And that's when they shared their last, bitter yet gentle kiss.

 

Next morning,when Sehun woke up,not even removing morning crust from his eyes yet,a crying Luhan engulfed him into a bone smashing hug while sobbing like crazy. 

"T-t-thank..Yo-you Se-sehun-nah."Sehun, not completely understanding the situation since he's just woken up just hugged him back and put his head on Luhan's back to resume sleeping and replied "your'e welcome." While yawning.

 

Luhan laughs."Ya,your sleeping  while hugging me? Sooo sweet." 

 

But Sehun already fell asleep. Luhan put him on their bed with minimal movements as to not jostle him and wake him up. Then he sat on the bedside,brushing the stray hairs on the other's face,the other smiling at the warmth of Luhan's hand.He kissed his forehead as he thanks him again.

 

"Thank you.Thank you for choosing me this time around."