Guilty

It was late at night when Taemin suddenly woke up from his sleep. He was extremely tired because he spent all day taking care of his kids, and haven't really had the chance to rest. He moved to his left wanting to snuggle to the warm body of his lover, but all he felt was the warm pillow where his boyfriend laid just a few hours ago.

Deciding that he wants to find out where Minho went, he got up from the bed and looked out of their room. That was when he saw the twins’ door open, which he knew he closed before going to sleep. He walked towards it, and decided to check if Minho was inside.

The sight that reached Taemin's eyes melted his heart. It made him feel warm and incredibly happy to see something like that.

Minho was near the crib singing softly to their children who were both in his arms. His eyes were set on the children, fully focused on them. Anyone could clearly see the admiration, care and most especially the love he has for the babies in his arms. His sweet voice matched the soft smile on his face as he stared at his children.

This scene pierced through Taemin's heart because it is an unusual thing to happen. Minho has been very busy with work nowadays with movie filming, CF shoots, and variety guestings. He's always on location that it has been really difficult for him to spend a lot of time with his family. Taemin knew how much his lover misses their children, and how guilty he feels because he couldn't spend so much time with them. Taemin tried to assure his boyfriend that it was fine, but it does nothing to remove or lessen the guilt that Minho felt.

Taemin was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Minho say his name.

“Taemin, babe, what are you doing up?” he asked.

“I should be asking you that, Minho. You should be asleep you have an early call time tomorrow. Now’s the only time you get to rest.”

“It’s okay. I heard them whining a little so I decided to let you get your rest since you’ve been with them the whole day.”

Taemin heard the sadness in Minho's tone and instantly knew that his lover was feeling guilty again. He slowly approached his family and placed his arms around Minho’s waist from the back.

“Honey, it’s okay. I don’t do anything besides take care of the children. But you, you have been working incredibly hard, going from one show to another, from airport to airport. You need your rest. I’m okay here, we’re okay.”

Taemin then went in front of him and took one of the babies. “C’mon, they’re asleep already. Let’s put them down and get sleep of our own.”

Once they have tucked in their children, they slowly went back to their room, Minho’s arms around Taemin’s waist and face buried in the younger's hair. When they reached their bed, Taemin positioned himself half lying on Minho, face on his chest and Minho's arms around him. Their legs were wrapped around each other trapping them into the other’s embrace.

Taemin could still feel the sadness radiating from Minho. He doesn’t really know what to say anymore to ease the other's feelings. He really understands the situation and wishes that his boyfriend wouldn’t torture himself with this.

“Baby, I’m sorry for being such a bad boyfriend and father, I really am,” Minho suddenly said.

Taemin was already kind of expecting him to say this, but it still broke his heart to hear it.

“Minho, there’s nothing to be sorry for. How many times do I have to tell you that it’s okay? When I got into this relationship, I knew that you would not have a lot of time to give me. And you know me, I don’t need you to be with me every second of the day. Of course, I wouldn’t complain if you are, but I’m going to be fine with you not being around for a couple of hours. As long as I know that you would come back home to me, I would be fine. As for being a father, Minho, you are a great father. You are working your off for our family. And when you’re free, you actually spend time with them. Now for me, that’s a great father.”

“But Taem, I’ve been doing nothing but work since Sori and Hwasong were born. The times you said I spent with them? What’s that, an hour everyday? They're usually asleep already when I get home! I don’t think that’s being a good father.  I feel that I am neglecting you, and I’m afraid that one day, when I get home, you won’t be here because you got so fed up with me,” Minho confessed.

Taemin felt Minho's body shake while his lover was talking, and this completely caught him off guard. Minho rarely cries. He'd get teary, yes, but sobbing to the point of his body shaking is a rarity. He didn’t know that Minho would ever think that he would leave him. He raised his head to look at his crying lover, wiped his tears away, and then cupped his face. He kissed him softly on the lips and said, “Baby, don’t ever think that I would leave you. I won’t. Remember that. No matter what happens, I’ll always be here to welcome you when you get home. And the twins would be with me shouting 'appa' and crawling towards you once you step in the house. We would never abandon you, Minho. I love you too much to do something like that. Plus, I know that you’re doing all this work for us, and that you try as much as you can to spend time with us. I know that you love us, Minho. You never fail to assure me that. What more could I ask for, honestly? What more could I want from you and be a reason for me to leave? Nothing, Minho. You’re perfect.”

Minho looked into Taemin's eyes and saw the sincerity there. He smiled and held him closer, if that was even possible. “I love you so much, Taemin. You and the kids are my everything. Thank you for enduring all of this for me. I really love you.”

Taemin just gave him a soft, sweet and loving smile in return. He placed his hand at the back of Minho's head and ran his fingers through the older's hair. Soon, he felt Minho's breathing even indicating he was asleep. He then closed his eyes and joined his lover in his dreams.