What We Don’t Say

            After Kyuhyun left the hotel room early in the morning, I had too many thoughts buzzing around inside of my head to fall back asleep.  So I got up and showered.  Kyuhyun text me, asking if I wanted to have breakfast together.  How could I refuse?  Yesung was just starting to wake up and still needed to get ready.  This was our one chance to be alone.  I got dressed and met him downstairs at the hotel’s restaurant, my heart beating like mad when I spotted him at a table in a quiet corner. 

            “I ordered you juice and coffee…I wasn’t sure which one you’d want,” he told me, looking uneasy as I reached the table. 

            “Thank you,” I said, sitting down next to him. 

            The waitress came over and quickly took our order.  Kyuhyun reached over and grasped my hand.  “I’m glad you came down.  I…I missed you already.  We haven’t had much time alone.”

            “No, we haven’t,” I agreed, smiling.  “I wasn’t expecting to share a bed with Yesung.”

            “Just when I’m finally feeling better,” Kyuhyun grumbled.

            “We’re only going to be here a couple more nights,” I reminded him.

            “But home hasn’t been that peaceful lately either,” he reminded me.  “There’s something strange going on.”

            We talked for a while about the concert and what was on the agenda the next few days.  The food showed up a short while later and then we both started eating, but Kyuhyun occasionally brought up a random topic.  I was quiet.  I was deep in thought, barely picking at my food and staring off into space, and he could tell something was bothering me.  He kept glancing at me as he was eating. 

            “Should I apologize?” he finally asked.

            “For what?”

            “For earlier in the room…when I woke you.”

            I couldn’t help but grin.  “No.”

            Kyuhyun reached under the table and squeezed my thigh.  “So that’s okay?”

            “Yes,” I said, “but we do need to have a talk.”

            His smile faltered.  “About what?”

            I thought for a moment on how I wanted to word it.  “The future.”

            Kyuhyun looked around the room.  No one was near us.  “What future?  Our future?”

            I nodded. 

            “Are you unhappy about something?” he asked, starting to sound panicked.

            “We shouldn’t talk about this in a public place, Kyu.”

            “Then let’s go to my room and talk.  We have time,” he said, glancing at his phone.

            I smiled at him and shook my head.  “You should eat first.”

            “I’ve lost my appetite,” he claimed, standing up and grasping my arm.  He took one last drink from his orange juice, wiped his mouth with his napkin, and then ushered me out the door of the small restaurant.  Thankfully, his room was charged the bill, so we didn’t have to wait around to pay.

            I followed him to the elevator and then stepped on with him.  We weren’t the only ones on it, so we didn’t speak a word during the ride.  I smiled sweetly at the other hotel guests and Kyuhyun slyly brushed his hand against mine, gently pinching my fingers with his.  When we reached our floor, we exited and walked over to Kyuhyun’s room.  He slid his cardkey through the slot and held the door open for me.  I walked in and stopped just inside the door, waiting for him.

            Kyuhyun closed the door and walked over to me. 

            “Kiss me first,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.  I stood up on my tiptoes and rubbed my nose against his.  “I’m feeling deprived ever since you got sick and refused to be around me without a mask on.”

            Kyuhyun grasped my waist, steadying me, and then angled his head to kiss me.  Unlike the rushed kisses from when he’d first woken me, he took his time to savor my lips.  And it had been far, far too long since he’d touched me like this.  I didn’t want to stop, but something had been weighing heavily on my mind for some time, and it was time to voice it.  So I eventually loosened my grip on him and softly pushed away, taking a couple steps back. 

            Kyuhyun opened his eyes and stared at me, confused.  “What’s the matter?”

            “I want to tell the others about us.”

            Kyuhyun shook his head. 

            “Kyu, we can’t keep lying to them.  I can’t handle it.”

            “We can’t!” he insisted.

            “Why?”

            “Because it will break Yesung’s heart!  And God only knows what he’ll do when he finds out.  He’s emotional right now.  He’s just gotten back from being gone for two years.  You should have a little compassion!”

            I placed my hands on my hips and gave him a puzzled look.  “It will not break Sungie’s heart.  Where are you getting ideas like this?  We broke up years ago!  How long has it been?  Seven?  Eight years?  Maybe even longer,” I said, too thrown off guard to think straight.  “And I’ve told him that I’m in love with you already.  This would hardly be a shock.”

            “But you told him that for years and nothing ever happened,” Kyuhyun pointed out.

            “So?”

            “So, he doesn’t believe it ever will!  And I think he’s still holding out hope that you two will get back together,” Kyuhyun informed me.  “And when he finds out that we’re dating, he’s going to lose it!  What if he quits KRY?”

            I shook my head.  “He’s not still in love with me.”

            “He was overly concerned about leaving you alone before he left and he’s been acting weird since his return.  He insisted on sleeping in the same bed as you,” Kyuhyun pointed out.  “And I think he’s trying to keep us apart.”

            “You’re delusional!”

            “No, I’m not!  In fact, I think he has all the other members in on it.  Have you noticed how everyone in the group seems to be conspiring against us to keep us apart lately?  If I cared less about him, I’d just tell him I’m dating you and to go to