Physics shouldn’t be making Taemin cry.

He’s glad that nobody’s in the prep room. Apart from a couple of people who’ve walked in and out, casting him glances which just scream “Just another typical Asian”, he sits alone at the desk. Pen in hand, his knuckles go white as he grips it determinedly.

Atoms consist of electrons and neutrons.

Taemin bites his lip. The physics test is on Monday. It’s a Saturday; he could’ve finished revising tomorrow, but he has dance practice all day.

Electrons are negatively charged.

It’s so unfair. He’s revised for this for three hours in the past five days, yet there never seems to be an end to revision. He doesn’t get how people like Minho can do no work at all, and still get perfect grades. His mother says that some people just need to work hard for it.  But why don’t his scores improve?

Neutrons are positively charged.

There’s this enounced pressure to him to live up to the high standards he’s set upon himself. People always act so surprised when he tells them that he’s got a scholarship. Is he really that dumb? He laughs it off, but he never lets it show that it does hurt his feelings. Taemin avoids expressing emotions. It just reveals his weaknesses, he thinks. People would probably laugh at him anyway.

So, now he’s here, sitting on an uncomfortable chair, trying to force something into his brain which he doesn’t really care about. He can hear his friends laugh in the dining room below him. Taemin doesn’t get how they can be so relaxed about tests. He wishes that he could be just as free as them, but the worry’s managed to fill his head to the brim. No wonder he can’t learn anything new.

Something snaps inside Taemin and he realises that he’s been talking to himself. He checks the time and thirty minutes have passed. Thirty minutes and all he’s managed is three measly sentences. The rest of the blank page glares up at him, the white blinding his eyes. A cruel reminder that he needs to write a lot more on it.

Ugh, why is he so useless? He’s wasted precious time wallowing in his own self misery. Taemin just doesn’t get why test after test is piled upon him. He can’t revise for all of them at once and expect 100%. Though his grades aren’t bad,with the amount of effort he puts in, he should be getting everything right. So, with the one or two careless mistakes, he just wants to cry. However, he can’t say anything, because people would say “Oh stop complaining; I did worse than you” or “It doesn’t matter, you should just stop freaking out about it.” They don’t understand; everything leads up to those important exams, and if he doesn’t work hard enough and he loses his scholarship his parents would be so disappointed in him.

Taemin can feel his throat tighten, the burning sensation consume him, and he presses his lips together tightly. But he can’t stop the tears from flowing as his vision becomes blurry and the ink on the paper starts to smudge. Eventually he gives up, and lets a strangled sob fall easily from his mouth. His sleeve becomes damp as he wipes the tears away.

“Taemin! Wher- Taemin? Hey- what’s wrong?”

Taemin turns around. In the midst of his sniffling, he didn’t notice the prep room door open. Jonghyun’s standing there.

“I was trying to find you. Do you wanna come with me and get some hot chocolate from the dining room? Or… What’s going on?”

Jonghyun glances at the work spread out on desk. He sees the blotchy writing on the paper and looks into Taemin’s eyes. 

“Taemin. Is it work and school stuff in general stressing you out?”

Taemin can only nod his head. He knows what he looks like right now.

Small. Weak. Pathetic.

He expects Jonghyun to do what the others did. He expects Jonghyun to tell him not to be so ridiculous, that it’s just a small test, and to stop freaking out. He expects Jonghyun to go back up to their dorm after words, and tell Jinki and Jongin and Chanyeol about what a weirdo he is and how he’s going to end up with no friends at this rate.

But, he does the exact opposite.

Instead, Jonghyun says nothing. He takes Taemin in his arms and hugs him.

And that’s all the support Taemin needed. He just needed to know that there was one person who was on his side.