“You’re so pretty, when I see you, my lips go up so easily. You’re the helper of my life, I can stretch now thanks to you. Like birds of a feather flock together, you’re on my side.”

While the radio blast this song, I, close my eyes and slowly sink into it. Have I got one person in mind when I listen to this? I absolutely do. You must be wondering… Who am I exactly referring to? Well she is, wait no, he is…the angel of my life. He doesn’t know it, but I’m sure he will.

“Seungcheol hyung? Hyung? Hyung!” I hear a soft and beautiful voice calling out to me. He frantically waves his hands in front of me, and I was brought back to reality. It’s my angel. I smiled. “Yes, Junghan ah?” I chuckled softly as I looked at his beautiful face with ever so enchanting features. “What were you thinking about? We have to head back to the dorm now. It’s getting late.” He nodded and looks at me with an expression full of worry. “Oh well, it’s nothing. Let’s go.” I nodded and grabbed my jacket as we walked out of the practice room.

As we headed out, I stared at the sky. I have been thinking so much about him lately. I’m falling in love aren’t I? How long has it started? God knows when. After a moment of zoning out, I looked back at Junghan. “Hyung, is something wrong with my face? Why do you keep staring at it?” He frowns as he looked at himself, fondling with his clothes. “Oh no, nothing is wrong.” I shook my head and shrugged as I look towards the front, walking towards the dorm, letting out my breath against the cold air on the streets during this winter night.  Finally arriving at the dorm, I gestured him to walk in first while holding the door for him. He smiled at me and mumbled a soft thank you. I thought to myself; How can someone like him be so beautiful and perfect? That smile just takes my breath away. I smiled and look at him. “Hyung, goodnight! Have a good rest and sleep early okay? I’ll be going to my room now!” He grins at me, beaming as he skips to his room. What has gotten into him? He seems so happy lately… It’s alright, what matters is he’s happy.

I plop myself onto my bed and laid still, staring at the empty ceiling. The empty feeling I felt, without him by my side although he’s just in another room. I sighed and turn on my radio playing that song again.
“You’re so pretty, so beautiful. Sometimes I hate when you look away. But still, you’re pretty, so beautiful. Feel so good.” Slowly sinking into it again, I closed my eyes, listening closely to the lyrics that I could relate. As the song continued to play, I drifted into my dreamland, thinking of him every second.

The next day, we were heading towards music bank. Oh god, what a perfect weather to sleep, I heaved a sigh. Looking up at the sky, it was about to rain, I thought. We arrived at the waiting room and I sighed. I was really sleepy and couldn’t get it together. Then he walked towards me again and fixed his pretty long hair. Oh that smile, oh that movements of his hands, oh just how he looked so perfect, I sunk into my own deep thoughts again. “Hyung! Why are you always drifting off whenever I call you?” Junghan frowns and crossed his arms as he stood in front of me. He once again, waved his hands in front of me, leaning forward to cup my cheeks and taps them with a slight force but still so gently. “Oh, what? Are we up for our performance already?” I looked at him and shook my head a little, throwing all deep thoughts I was into just now, aside. “Yes we are. Go get ready, appa.” He nods at me and pulls me up, pulling me to the dressing room before shutting me in there. I quickly changed and got out, getting ready to take the stage.

“(아낀다) 요즘말야 내가말야 (요즘말야), (아낀다) 요즘말야 내가말야 (요즘, 요즘말야).” With that, we ended our song and bowed before quickly going off the stage. I sighed contentedly and smiled, all our hard work is worth it’s just been a week so into our debut and I’m proud that we’ve worked hard to finally debut. I looked at my boys and smiled brightly, I’m glad that I have these band of brothers, especially him. I look towards Junghan’s direction and see him messing with his hair as he walked further and further away back to the changing room. I sighed as our distance grew apart for a moment before walking quietly back to the waiting room, changing out of my performance clothes.

Great, it was raining and I pouted. All wells, I could at least sleep for a moment when we got home. Since it was raining, we had to share an umbrella when we headed back to our car. Junghan walk towards my direction and grinned. “Hyung! Let’s share an umbrella.” he giggles softly and that melted my heart so badly. I nodded and smiled. “Allow me to hold the umbrella then, princess.” I chuckled at him and took the umbrella from him, opening it up before hovering it above our heads as I placed my one of my arms over his shoulders, another still holding to the umbrella as we walked. The distance between us has finally closed in again, I smiled happily as I looked at him. “Hyung, what are you looking at?” Junghan chuckled softly as he adjusted his hair falling from his sides. “Oh nothing, let’s keep walking.” I nodded as we reached the car, gesturing him to get into the car first. He got in and I closed the umbrella before quickly jumping into the car. “Let’s go, manager hyung!” I shouted as all the members were in the van already.

On our journey back home, I thought a lot. Maybe….I should tell Junghan how I feel right? I just wanted to let him know my feelings and I can’t hide it in anymore, I needed to get it off my chest. I sighed deeply and we finally reached our dorm, quickly walking back into the dorm. “Junghan ah~, where are you? Can I have a word with you for a moment? Come to my room.” I called him and looked around before walking to my room. “Sure hyung, I’ll be there in a second.” he shouted. I walked to my room and sat on my bed, waiting for him to come in. He walked in at that moment, “Close the door please, Junghan ah~.” I nodded. He quickly closed the door and walks towards my bed, sitting beside me. “So, what did you wanted to talk to me about, hyung?” He stared at me seriously and wiggled his eyebrows. “Well...I...I…” I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. Many thoughts ran through my head; What if he never looks at me the same way again? What if he decides to distant himself away from me when I tell him this? What will he think of me? “Hyung, just tell me already!” He demanded. “Oh, well, nevermind, I completely forgotten what I wanted to say. It’s alright, go have a good rest, Junghan ah~. Take a warm bath and head to bed. Goodnight!” I forcefully smiled at him as those words came out of my mouth. Why couldn’t I just man up and tell him? He looked at me and shrugged as he walked out of my room, mumbling; “This hyung is so weird.”

After he left, I sighed and leaned back down on my bed. Once again, I stared at the ceiling. I thought of something, since I couldn’t bring myself to say it, why not write a letter? Since we didn’t have any schedule tomorrow, I could get away for awhile. I nodded to myself, contented at my own idea and quickly walks to my table, grabbing a pen and a paper as I sat down and started to think what I wanted to write.

“Dear Yoon Junghan aka Yoon Cheonsa,

I’ve been wanting to tell you this so long. I think I’ve fallen for you. I can’t explain what is it about you that just fascinates me and attracts my attention. Maybe it’s the way you look so pretty, maybe it’s the way you touch your hair, maybe it’s the way you are so nice because of your personality, or just maybe, you are an angel.  

I can’t get you out of my mind constantly. I hear many love songs and think about you constantly. You’re on my mind and I can’t get you out. Just what about you is so special? I am so glad I’ve met you since the day you came into Seventeen. I know I am not the first to talk to you like Jisoo and I don’t show you my concern always, but yes, I do like you. I am in fact, in love with you.

Writing this to you, is something I wouldn’t usually do. But since I can’t express it by words, I will write this to you. Today, we inched closer when I held the umbrella for you. I wanted to whisper to you in your ear, how much I loved you and how much I love everything about you. I have always been silently watching by you when you were always around the others. I just wanted to say, I am glad you are here.

You are beyond perfection and the fact that you exist, that’s more than enough. I will not be in the dorm for a few days, I’m getting away. Don’t look for me, angel. I’ll be away. See you, Junghan.

Always remember one thing, no matter where I am, I am silently watching you and…...I love you. I’m sorry if this shocks you, please be happy, angel. I love you.

Love,

Choi Seung Cheol.”

With that, I ended my letter, quickly placing in an envelope and puts it on the bed. Since everyone isn’t awake and sleeping by now, I’m going to get out and take a breath of fresh air. I took some clothes into my bed, all my necessities and walked out of the house, closing the door quietly. I walked onto the streets with my jacket wrapped around me as I huffs a breath of air. Would he realize that letter? Would he...bother? Frustrated, I gripped my own hair and continued walking to the park. “I will probably just sleep there.” I mumbled to myself, looking down.

Feeling uneasy, Junghan woke up and sat on his bed, staring into space. “Why do I have a feeling something bad is going to happen?” He sighed and talked to himself, looking at his roommate, Joshua. “Maybe I should go check on Seungcheol, hyung.” He mumbles to himself and he gets up, quietly walking to his hyung’s room. He opens the door, hoping to see his hyung safely sleeping. But little did he know, Seungcheol wasn’t there. He gasped and runs into the room, to see a letter on the bed. “Oh god.” He mumbles and took a deep breath before opening the letter. He stared at it, carefully reading the letter, each and every word. His heart sank. He knew something was off with his hyung all this while, he should have known! “Oh hyung……” His tears fell as he felt a ‘pang’ in his heart. “I’ve got to find, hyung.” He shook his head angrily and runs back to his room, taking his jacket. “What’s wrong, Junghan ah? You seem flustered.” Joshua sat up on his bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Oh you’re awake. It’s nothing, I gotta go out for awhile.” He sighed deeply at Joshua and shook his head. “Oh, so late? Mhn, okay. Be back soon okay?” Joshua nodded and plops back down, covering himself with the blanket and falls back to sleep. Junghan quickly runs out of the house, frantically searching the streets for Seungcheol. The only thought on his mind was; I have to find, Seungcheol hyung, he needs to be safe. “Maybe he’s at a cafe. Maybe he’s at the park. Oh god, where else would he go? The park.” Junghan nodded and quickly runs to the park. He looked around and panicked, he couldn’t allow himself to lose his hyung. Especially not at this moment, he needed him. As much as he hadn’t say it, he loves his hyung, Seungcheol. Junghan always needed this hyung to be there, he didn’t know what he’d do if he hadn’t had his precious hyung, always taking care of them even though he had his own worries.

I was at the park, feeling the cold atmosphere. He was still on my mind all this while. I sighed to myself and laid on the bench at the park, closing my eyes. Not knowing what’s going to happen next, I just rested my eyes and sighed, thinking of what I wrote just now. To his own surprise, he heard someone shouting. “Seungcheol hyung! Hyung! Where are you?” I gasps quietly and pulls down his own hoodie. Junghan sees a bench with someone lying there, he ran there and indeed, it was his hyung. He pulled his hoodie up and glanced at his hyung. “Choi Seungcheol!” He exclaims.

With that moment of silence, Junghan mastered his courage and leans in, pressing his soft lips against his hyung. “I love you.” Junghan whispers in the kiss. I smiled brightly and close my eyes, falling into this kiss at the perfect midnight.