ii. Conversations and Consequences

Lost Cause

Taeyeon's PoV

"I swear I'm going to stop covering for you." Tiffany scolded as I walked into our dorm. The girls were preparing for a comeback so everyone was here. I thought I'd sneak in quietly, but Tiffany had been waiting for me.

"I was just out on a walk." I reply nonchalantly.

"As if." She scoffs. "You're lucky our schedule doesn't start until noon today."

"Sorry you were up so late." I kiss her cheek and begin taking my sweater off.

"Some of us were up late anyways. Yuri came back today and some of them decided to go out for drinks." She sighs and slumps in her chair.

"You didn't join." I sat next to her.

"I didn't feel like lugging around drunk Sooyoung, drunk Hyoyeon, and drunk Yuri." I lay my head on the table. She switches topics, "You shouldn't be out there alone. At least take one of the girls with you. Manager-oppa gets really mad."

"I wasn't alone tonight." I blurt out. Oh . I should not have said that.

"What?!" She nearly stands up. My eyes mistakenly pop open. She gasps, probably due to my reaction. "Who were you with then?" At this hour, I didn't know how to coyly get away with it, so I kept quiet. "Kim Taeyeon! You better answer me!"

Kim Taeyeon. The thought of him saying my name made me smile.

"Kim Taeyeon!" I almost wished Jiyong was here just to prove to him that people only said my full name when they were mad or wanted something from me.

"I'm tired, Tiff. I'm gonna get some rest. You know how our dance instructors always pick on me. I need to brace myself for that." I stand up and scurry to my room.

Her next question stops me in my tracks. "Does he know?"

I sigh. It's been nearly 2 months when we decided to take a break. "To be honest. I didn't know I was meeting this person today." It's was fate.

Before she could say anything else, I hid away in my room.

I hear her about to speak again. I slide down my door, half-hoping she would knock on my door and ask, half-hoping she would let it go for now. I feel one knock. I shut my eyes. Then nothing. I breathe out some tension I didn't know I was holding in.

I sit in front of the door for a while. Looking for another presence, I notice that Sunny isn't here. Maybe she went drinking with the others. For now, it's just me and my thoughts.

I can't believe that happened. Finding G-Dragon-sunbaenim and nearly saving his life.

No. Kwon Jiyong.

Thinking about it now, it hurt knowing that he thought SNSD's Taeyeon was fake. It’s not him I’m worried about. Do SONEs notice that? I should do something about that.

I take in a deep breathe again. I feel a bead of sweat run down my forehead and realize how bad I smelt; hot pavement and salty breeze is not too good of a mix.

I snuck out to take a shower and noticed that Tiffany was gone. I felt guilty hiding things from her. The memories with Jiyong shooed those negative feelings away.

"You're never going to see him again." I have to repeat to myself.

--

Jiyong’s PoV

“Oh, now you pick up?! Where the hell have you been?”

“Sup Youngbae?” I say a little too light-heartedly.

“Don’t you ‘Sup Youngbae?’ me! You need to stop running off like that!” Youngbae continued to yell at me.

“Just apologize to Sajangnim for me. I’ll be there in half an hour.” I cut him off. I don’t know why, but meeting Taeyeon suddenly… rejuvenated me.

Kim Taeyeon.

What were the chances of meeting her?

I still can’t believe that it was her that I met. She’s almost nothing like the person on stage performances and television.

“Yo, Ji. Are you there?” My friend interrupted my thoughts.

“Sorry. I temporarily lost you. What did you say?” I lied.

“I’m asking why you’re coming back. Usually, you run away for long periods of time. Usually, you go clubbing or do something crazy,” he states cheekily.

“My mind became really clear today.” I simply state. I look around. The sun is about to rise. Although I’ve been up all night, Hyunsuk-hyung is surely to give me the longest and loudest lecture as soon as I enter the building.

“Hyung, there’s no point coming back. When you left we just practiced, Teddy-hyung didn’t want to record much. Sajangnim let us go early. If you go, he’s just gonna yell at you and tell you to go home. He’s dealing with the iKon kiddos.” My friend’s sincerity made my heart ache. Sure, if one of them gets in trouble, Hyunsuk-hyung will just scold them. If I get in trouble, I get scolded and the rest of the group suffers. Since we’ve been in the business so long they find things to do, but still.

My head clouds again. The overwhelming pressure. The overbearing stress.

 

“Being the leader of the nation’s favorite groups must be hard.” Taeyeon’s words echo through my head. “But someone’s gotta do the job,” she sighs. “I mean, I might not be the best, the girls’ basically share leadership roles, but I’m the figurehead. We have to take the brunt of bad news. We have to be punished the most for not preventing scandals. We’re expected to be the best.” I hadn’t realized it, but I had stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. How could someone like her be so.. cool?

“Sometimes, I wish people realized I don’t want any of that: being the best. I love my girls, but the most important thing for me is singing. All the dancing and clothing means nothing.” I remember the look on her face as she turned to me: pure gentry. “You probably think otherwise, but, I don’t know.”

 

“I understand.” I answer her.

 

“Jiyong? Hello? What did you say? You understand? You understand what? You haven’t been talking for nearly 5 minutes!” The yelling in my ear reminded me that I was motionless in the streets of Seoul.

I nearly panicked. Someone’s gonna notice me.

 

“Although I wished I wasn’t an idol, the fact is never going to leave me. Even when I’m alone, even when I’m with family, even when I’m here at the bridge, my only thoughts are about what it’s like if I weren’t an idol, how to control my group, how much I hate my company, but love my girls and worked too hard to leave. Being an idol never leaves me.”

 

“Look Bae,” I chuckled at the weird nickname; he irks at it, “I’m going to call you back. My phone battery is about to die. I’ll call you back after Sajangnim yells at me.”

“Arasso. You do you. Just, please, don’t forget to call us. You know I hate it when you don’t update us your whereabouts. We at least want to know what country you’re in.” Youngbae begs.

“Just hang up.” I pretend flirt.

“Aish. Who are you?” Youngbae scowls. “Wait. Did you meet a girl?!”

I didn’t know how to respond, so I hung up. Through my mask, I was smiling to the point that my cheeks hurt.

I never thought about seeing Taeyeon as a woman. I guess I was too surprised of seeing the real her that I completely rid my usual playboy self.

Did this morning even happen? I almost want to ask her myself, but would we even meet again?

I would like that.

We decided--well, I guess I deeply expressed and somewhat forced us-- to be comfortable with each other. I was honest though. I didn’t want to forget what happened between us because I liked her, but because I like the moments we shared.

We weren’t in exact same position. In fact, we see things at different heights, but we’re viewing and understand the same picture.

And damn, was it nice to find someone that really understood me. There’s always people by my side. There’s always people who try to understand me, but Taeyeon actually feels the same pains as me.

Taeyeon truly is different. No flirting. No exchange of numbers. No pictures. No drinks. Just talking.

--

Taeyeon’s PoV

“I really don’t understand. How do you do it?” After yelling, my voice started hurting so I told him to stop. We sat back down, laughing, and just stared at the water. The last thing I remember yelling about was the whole situation with Jessica. It’s been such long time since the drama started, but the regrets never went away, no matter what we were forced to say. I always wondered what I could’ve done to keep her.

As I cleared my thoughts, I realized he didn’t respond. Did he hear what I yelled? I suddenly felt self-conscious. He has something against me. I didn’t even listen to what he screamed about even though he was louder than me. “What do you mean?” he finally asked.

I expected him to ask about Jessica or SM since I repeated their names multiple times. Nothing. I felt spontaneously vulnerable, regretting to ask such a dangerous question even in a safe environment. “How are you such a great leader?” I hugged my knees and covered my face. It was embarrassing how we’ve been in the industry for such a long time and yet I’m still asking how to be a leader. “You’re so talented. You sing. You dance. You write music. You lead such a great group. How is it even possible?” I tried to cover up. Now I felt like some sputtering fangirl.

He chuckles. I complimented him too much and it flustered me. “Well. As you know, I did train at SM for some time.” My eyes bulged at his words. “Or not.”

“Sorry. My manager doesn’t really let me go on the Internet. I’m lucky they let me have some freedom with social media.” I try to explain.

“Some?” he asks much more skeptical than I expected. I wasn’t sure if he was astounded-skeptical or jealous-skeptical.

“Well. I do post freely on Instagram. If there’s something my management doesn’t want, I’ll remove it, but nothing like that has occurred.” The thoughtful look on his face is something unforgettable, something full of hatred, remorse, regret? “I mean. I’ve been trained to censor myself. You probably know. Even as trainees, they would make sure our lives were squeaky clean. Thankfully SM doesn’t punish us as bad anymore.”

The look on his face was clearly I-don’t-believe-you skeptical. “SM used to punish me by not giving me food. You look like you haven’t even eaten in months.”

His words made me feel self-conscious. I wasn’t even sure if he was just saying that. How could you see my body in such thick clothing? “You-- We’re skipping around my question.”

He just chuckles and it angers me. Why would he ask such a question?

Even it was true.

“I’m sorry,” he starts. “Well, I’ve never confessed this, but my work ethic kinda started as a trainee at SM: having clean-cut moves, dictating things correctly, practicing facials in the mirror. I sometimes even punish myself harshly when I don’t achieve the little goals in time.” The look on his face was solemn. “But it was just that I really wanted to be out there. SM didn’t want a hip hop boy. SM didn’t want to give some 10 year-old some freedom. SM wasn’t afraid to drop me. So I left. I took what I learned and moved on. YG took me in. I was just taught other things. I kinda just put things together.”

I nodded. Hm. Maybe if I was in YG I could learn how to produce songs and sing whatever I want to sing? “I wish it was the same for me.” I slip out. I hoped he didn’t hear my confession and he was just in his thoughts.

For a while, we didn’t talk. Maybe he could piece things together.

“What did you mean?” His voice panicked me. Was he talking about my previous statement? How SM punishes me? “When you asked me how I could be such a ‘great leader’.”

My mind clouds. I didn’t even know myself. That’s how clueless I felt. “I don’t know. I never felt like SNSD’s leader, especially nowadays. The only leader-ly thing I do now is show up to the press to receive all the backlash and apologize for the group. I don’t wake up the girls or cook for them much. I don’t take roll. I don’t really talk to them. I feel like the advice I give to them are things they don’t want to hear. It’s just.” The touch of his hand on my cheek shocks me. I didn’t even notice, but he wiped the tears off my face.

“I never wanted to be leader, but I can’t get rid of the name. I don’t want to act like some spoiled kid and not do my job.” I grabbed his hand and tore it away from my face. He seemed shocked at my action. I turned away, discouraged. “I’m sorry. I’ve never really cried in front of anyone else because I don’t want people to pity me. I’m not saying you’re pitying me, but I’m just used to that feeling so…”

“I understand.” He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. He then put his hand over my head and led it to his shoulder. “Let’s take some baby steps, Kim Taeyeon. I feel like you’ve never experienced compassion.” I scoffed. What a bold statement. “Well, you probably do experience it, but not completely.” I felt uncomfortable, not really from his words, but this position. At least every passing second made things easier. I think it comforted me that he couldn’t look at my face. “It’s embarrassing at first, but you gotta let yourself be vulnerable in order to feel the relief you get from it.”

I scrunch my face. "How does this make me a better leader? I don't think expressing my problems will help. I mean MY problems."

He pauses. "Waking up the members, cooking, taking the blame. Those aren't exactly acts of being a leader." I sat up a little and we linked eyes. I really wanted to understand him. "What's important is doing things with compassion. Sure. You cook a healthy meal. You wake up the members so they won't be late. You clean things up for what's good for the team. You can do all things. As long as it's for your group as a whole, anything you do is leader worthy. The key to doing things right as a leader is doing things with compassion."

My eyes drop. I try to take in his words. "You don't seem to be a bad leader Kim Taeyeon. I mean, I've seen little of you and only hear things through the grapevine, but SNSD is successful. Why worry?"

I play with play my hands, thinking I would find the answers. "I don't know. I just feel like I'm not being a leader anymore. I tend to coop myself in and not know anything about the girls."

Jiyong holds me tighter. We break eye contact. With this, I realized how close we were. I wanted to push him away, but I also wanted us to stay like this. "I guess you could always take chances. Do whatever you think is right for the girls. Take responsibility when no one else does. Even if it seems out of the norm, do it if it seems right."

I scoff. "Easier said than done."

"It may be easier to ask for forgiveness, but it's better to experience asking permission because being allowed to do something feels so right even if you mess up."

 

I walk out of my room to get a glass of water.

"You're home?" A familiar voice beckons.

"Yeah. I've been home for a while. Did you just get back?" I ask.

Sunny seems suspicious. "The girls said you went out for a walk. You're home early."

I grabbed a glass. "My mind was somewhat clearer today."

She was about to respond, but we see a frantic maknae rushing out of her room. "Oh, hey unnies! It's good to see you home. Sorry to leave in a rush, but I have to go pick up the girls. Apparently, they got so wasted that they've just been idle in some club. The bar owner was kind enough to let them stay, but it's getting too late. I'm gonna go pick them up."

My world pauses. "Do whatever you think is right for the girls." Jiyong's words echo in my head. “The key to doing things right as a leader is doing things with compassion."

Seohyun’s not the best driver. Sunny just got home. Tiffany and I are not on the best terms. I can’t leave our maknae alone. "Let me come with you." I grab a jacket and keys to my car.

In the corner of my eye, I see Sunny giving me a concerned look. "You're going to go?"

I walk up to Seohyun who also seems doubtful. I shrug. "Is it okay with you?" I ask her permission.

She seems shocked. "Um. Of course it's fine."

I look at Sunny. "Go ahead and rest. Don't wait for us. Tiffany's home too." She simply nods.

We exit our unit and Seohyun can't help but talk in amazement. "What gotten into you, unnie?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Someone's gotta drive the girls' car home. I know you're strong, but I should lighten the load. If you want, you can take half."

She smiles. "I'm really happy you're doing this, unnie. It's not like you."

I simply smile back as we enter my car.

I drove to the bar the girls went to and Seohyun navigated. We passed by the Banpo Bridge and I couldn't help but think of this morning’s happenings. I hoped I was making Jiyong proud.

We found Yoona's car inside a parking garage and parked near it. We discreetly walked to the bar not too far away.

We entered the empty bar, hearing loud laughter. Seohyun notices a worker, walks up to him, and explains that we're going to pick the girls up. I apologize for them and pay for consequences. We lug the girls back to the entrance.

"Do you want to get a car or drag them to the garage?" Seohyun asks.

The walk was pretty far and the girls were still rowdy. They would catch attention. I was nowhere being strong enough to lift two girls who were taller than me. "You wait here. I'll grab my car and we'll drop them off there. You can grab Yoona's car and we'll drive home."

"I thought we were going to split them up." Seohyun asks.

"We're splitting up? But I want to stay with Yoona!" Yuri hollers.

"It'll be easier this way. We'll get home faster. Just help me get the girls in once I pull up." I try to act quickly.

"Taeyeon? What are you doing here?" Hyoyeon interrogates.

"The leader is here? Please don't tell on us!" Sooyoung blabbers.

"I'm the designated driver! I'll drive them home!" Yoona yells above us.

"You can't drive! You were drinking with us!" Hyoyeon accuses Yoona.

I grab Yoona's purse and luckily finds her keys in the front. I hand them to Seohyun. "I'll be back."

She nods and I exit the building and hurriedly walk to my car. Luckily there was no parking fee so I left. I parked in front of the bar entrance and opened all the doors. The two of us helped the four drunk kids in.

"I'm still surprised to see you here." Hyoyeon stared at me.

"Maybe Tiffany or Sunny got in a fight with her. That's why she's not home." Yuri blatantly said. Her words hurt, but I ignored them for the time being.

"Seohyun, be careful when you drive! That car is my baby!" Yoona was almost hysterical.

“I thought I was your baby!” Yuri retorted. Her airheaded-ness was entertaining me.

The drive felt long. I was following Seohyun on the way home and her driving was... not exactly as good as her singing. We took weird turns. The girls complained a lot. I was worried one of them was going to throw up, but I got through it all.

We got home and Tiffany and Sunny were at the doorstep, prepared. We all took someone close to our height. The drunkards were finally at the point of knocking out so the room was calmer.

"I'll take it from here," Tiffany said, "It was my job in the first place. I just gave it to Seobaby and I didn’t want to tell our manager."

I bit my lip. "You could've asked me."

Her eyes widened in defense. "Sorry. You don't usually do it." Sunny took a cautious step towards me.

I turn my head. I made quick eye contact with Sunny, but she broke it off to rid awkwardness. "I want to change that." I looked at all three of them and they had serious faces. I bowed to them and went to my room. Tiffany dragged Yoona into her room and the other two monitored the other three buzzed members. I checked the time: 7:50. I'm really lucky our rehearsal is past noon.

I wonder how he's doing.

--

Jiyong's PoV

"What about you?" We turned to each other.

"What about me?" She questioned.

"How do you handle such negativity?" After asking my question, she plainly stared at me. I couldn't handle her gaze so I turned back to the bridge. "It's just, being a female in the industry. You get backlash for everything. Your company probably treats you like shi—." I stop myself. We slowly turn to each other. "Sorry."

She shrugs. Her gaze falls and I feel conscious of my looks. I’m not in any designer clothing. It’s not usually for me to be like this. "It's okay. You're right. Any other word wouldn't give it justice."

I felt guilty of what she said. Honestly, this girl didn't look like she deserved any of it. All she wanted to do was sing.

But that's life of a top KPop star.

"How do you deal with it? How are you okay?" I sounded exasperated. I didn't really know where this was coming from. I guess the aching pain in my heart and my head were just driving me overboard.

She smiles. There's a bitter tint. She turns to me, her eyes full of sorrow. "Who says I'm okay?" She turns back and bites her lip.

I sigh. "Same."

She shakes her head and sits up. "There's a difference between us." We lock gazes. I can sense the anger in her face. "Because I'm in SM, were always promoting. We're always on the move. Any wrong thing I could do could lead to the downfall of my group. We're merely performers. We can easily lose everything in a snap." She spoke so passionately. I couldn't even blink. "But for you, your fans will stay loyal. Don't take what you have for granted. Your fans can easily love you and 2NE1 and Big Bang. You're fans will wait. You're an artist. You mess up one thing, you can still produce music or design clothing or model or direct. I don't go out clubbing or partying even though I have the money. I don't go so I won't get in trouble. I already get in trouble enough. Why add fire to the flame? To have fun? To let go? I want to rebel, but I will always get caught. That's the power of SNSD and SM for you. To me, it's not worth it." I exhale sharply. Like me running away, rebelling. Is it worth it? "We handle stress differently. I'm sorry. I can't tell you how to be okay. But for me, I really feed off the fans love. Their support keeps me going." After focusing into the water, I feel her gaze so I connected hers with mine. "There are times where I don't want to be happy, but it's the least I can do for the fans. I need to be a sign of hope. I need to be a sign of continuation and perseverance."

I soften my gaze. "But why would you lie? Wouldn't you want to show you're unhappiness?"

She softly smiles. "Why would want to show my lovely SONEs how sad I am all the time?"

Her words hit me. Is she... sad all the time?

"I have depression, Jiyong." Her confession felt like getting hit by a car. "I also have anxiety issues." I grab her hand and she looks at me thankfully. We still are different. "I have a hard time talking about my feelings because I feel like no one understands me. I have a hard time voicing out because no one listens to me." A tears streams down my face. "I just accept the where I am. I have no power and I have to try to make the best of it."

I see the tears that stream down her face and I pat them away with the sleeve of my jacket. I didn't know what to say. I coped with my problems with smoking and partying. A lot. It really brought pain to my fans and anger to YG, but I guess I just wanted to be selfish and enjoy myself.

"It's okay to be rebellious, but know your boundaries and know how much your doings will hurt those around you."

 

I enter the YG Building with nervousness. Many eyes are on me and I have a bad feeling about what's to come.

"Kwon Jiyong." I stop my tracks and turn to the stern voice. Within seconds, my manager-hyung has stomped towards me. "You have the nerve to show your face?" He pushes me with a great amount of force.

I bow my head. "I'm sorry to cause you all this trouble. I have come to apologize."

"You can't just run off like that anymore!" I try not to twitch, but fail. His words sting. "We can't run on your schedule all the time. Stop acting like a spoiled brat! Just because you're the golden boy of the Korean music industry doesn't mean you can always run off like that! You're still under contract and—."

A powerful, but calm voice cuts my manager off.

"Enough."

The both of us and all that were watching our fiasco turned to the owner of the loud voice.

"It's good to see you're back early, Jiyong, but I'd advise you to listen to your manager next time. I don't want any more of your excursions."

I bow to him a full 90 degrees. "I'm sorry for my actions."

The almighty Yang Hyunsuk sighs. "Just go home now, Jiyong. If I see your face any longer, I might explode. I'm too tired to do that."

Still bowing, I plead on. "Let me at least finish the samples that I started. While everyone rests, I will work the lost time."

There was an elongated break. Before I lifted myself, due to pain, he patted my shoulder and simply left.

I heard my manager curse under his breathe. I apologized to him and left to the studio.

Hour 3 passes and I'm left with frustration. Everything isn't mixing well. The tempo is inconsistent. I really want to re-record a lot, but this is what I get for running away. I'm trying to deal and just have an outline of the song, at least put together part of it and then fill the missing pieces when the team is together, but I'm not liking any of it.

I text Teddy because I was furious at what I had. It's a bit past 9. He should be awake?

Hyung. Did you guys do any more recordings? I'm at the studio.
You're here early.
We did, but don't worry about it. Worry about the arrangement. I'll work on the production.

I scrunch my face. Although that's usually the case, I thought it was strange Teddy was going to do all of it.

I thought we were going to work on it together.
Maybe next time bro.
While you were gone, I started putting it together.
I still need the drop you wanted and the outro.
I made a new folder. It's literally called 'Untitled'                                                           since we have no name for it. Just look for it in
there if you want to listen.
If you want to edit things around, just call and I'll go there.

I wasted 3 hours for nothing? I slam my head to the table. Of course. They’re still going to work. It’s Teddy. He’s going to basically finish things quickly. I texted a simple thanks and stared at the computer. I felt so aggravated and opened the drawer under the desk. There laid a packet of Marlboro cigarettes. For some odd reason, I sincerely hesitated to pick them up.

"It's okay to be rebellious, but know your boundaries and know how much your doings will hurt those around you."

Smoking would allow me a 15 minute break; I don't really like smoking longer than that. But I need to check out what Teddy is talking about. If I smoke, I need to leave the room.

I clenched my fist. I harshly shut the drawer. I put my hands between my head. I walk to the recording panel and shut the door. I slide my back down the door. I try to take a few deep breaths.

I couldn't hold back anymore and just screamed.

I felt my whole body shake. I splayed my body all out. I was breathing heavy. I was craving the nicotine and I knew I was reaching a new low. I walked out and grabbed the box and my phone.

I need to stop this, but I can't do it all at once.

10 minutes.

Baby steps.

 

I walked back into the studio. I broke my promise and my habit and smoked the whole joint. I felt guilty, but I felt so relieved. I twitched the mouse for the computer to come back to life. I went to the files Teddy was talking about and gave it a listen. I went along with it and added some drops I had created beforehand. There were a few sounds I wanted to decide with the group so I just left it in the folder. I listened to it a few more times and thought of what to do for the outro. My drops were put on a loop and something was building inside of me.

I suddenly had an epiphany. I listened to one of the drops and thought of stretching it out so it would fit and outro.

I played around with the keys and managed to get a 10 second bit done.

10 seconds sounded too long though.

I contemplated my choices in my head. I was thinking of trashing it idea. I was thinking of deleting it, but it sounds perfect as it is. I went to cut it, but as I tried to type Control, V, the screen froze. Out of frustration, I continuously clicked the keys. Once it came back to life, multiple copies of the track were pasted on the song. I guess in my button smashing I managed to copy and paste the sample hundreds of times. Thinking, 'why not' I gave it a listen. The beat was just great. Putting in on repeat was the best idea ever.

"Let's go!" I scream as I turned up.

Wait.

I let it play and repeated myself. "Let's go!"

A flow suddenly came out.

This would be a great outro. The finisher.

I texted Teddy.

When's the next recording?
I just came up with something. It's dope.

I was so excited. If this pulled through, I had faith it would be another worthy hit.

Idk man. The other members have their own schedule.
I wasn't told there would be recording today.

Oh.

I slumped in my chair. It's okay. We still have time. My phones beeps multiple times.

We were basically done recording.
I doubt we'll have any more time unless it's touching up.
We're already behind for the due date.

I'm taking my chances.

I checked the time and see I had been at the YG Building for nearly 6 hours. Luckily, it was my day off, so I decided that I would leave and have lunch.

Before I left the building I received a text. It was from Teddy.

I contacted Hyung. We scheduled to listen to what you
have and then we'll schedule another recording session
of he thinks it's a good idea.
Please don't flake on us. I know it's annoying, but
you have to be there.

I stare at my phone. I reflect on my previous actions. Guilt flows through me. I text him back that I was leaving.

Ji. I know it's your day off, but please don't drink.
We're at the final stages of the song production and
I really want you at your best.

I would be lying if I said that wasn't on my mind.

He's basically begging me.

How did it progress this far?

 

I'll become a better person. I promise.

 

--

 

A/N: And I'm back! I'm sorry it's taking me a really long time to update... So I thought I'd update with a SUPER LONG CHAPTER :D

I hope you guys like it~ I'm having a pretty good day and I'm writing and editing like crazy. Don't expect too much ^^'. I'm starting school in a month. I'll try to update once a month? I know... but I will finish this story! I have so much planned! The second meeting is being written. I'm brainstorming more fluff, intervention, [i know ryt?], and drama, and everything! I'm going all out with this fic! I'm also writing another GTae fic (not publishing just quite yet) and I'm working on some unfinished business~ 

Tell me what you want to see in the comments~ Thank you! I love you all[:

Enjoy G-Tae~

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fuchaoife #1
Chapter 3: They make each other a better person :""")) please update this storyy
firstblessing #2
Chapter 3: THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! you basically picture the image of Taeyeon and GDragon in the same way I picture them to be. not the personality tho. but regarding how they can fit each other's problems well. a calming solution for GD and a encouragement solution for Taeyeon. They suit each other exactly THIS way. I SO LOOK FORWARD FOR YOUR OTHER LOONG UPDATES! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
albioo #3
Chapter 3: ahhh so hard being idol in korea..i feel like what you portrayed in kinda whats happens in real life.
anyways i like that they are helping each other be a better person and without even having like a proper relationship.
I wonder how they will meet again. Keep it up :) can't wait for next chapter.
CheriLane #4
Chapter 3: Their going to help each other be better selves aren't they?

Can't wait till their second meeting! One meeting and they've already affected each other so much already! ^^
CheriLane #5
Chapter 2: I subscribed to this story after reading the description a while ago, and I hadn't started reading it until now, but this story completely gives me the gtae feels! ^^ You make them seem like they're on the same wavelength, and understand each other even if they are strangers to one another.

This is such a well written story and how they
meet is very creative. Thank you for continuing this story. On to the next chapter! :)
Rho_Raven
#6
Chapter 2: So cute interaction. Hoping for the next update. :)
albioo #7
Chapter 2: Omg can't wait for more chapters. This is such a sweet story.
lynn_yu #8
Chapter 2: gtae...yesss...
i am curios about they relationship after this meeting.
windflower01
#9
Chapter 2: Unique beginning. Being idols can be really frustrating sometimes. Hope they meet more often.
butterfly__
#10
Chapter 1: Subscribe this story.