080515

12:03A.M.

I closed my eyes, letting the memories take over. It plays over and over again, the good ones. Only the good ones that I wish to come back to.

090512.

That was the day. The day that I met her. It was in the music room that she so loves, with the company of the piano that she used to always play. She plays them with her slender fingers that I used to always question how such dainty hands could manage to play so many keys all at once. She always wore her dark, ebony hair down; swaying along with her when she plays the piano. It was a magnificent image. A beautiful memory that I always treasured to remind me of her.

I remember her each and every feature. Her slim and always moistened rosy lips, a small straight nose that I used to always make fun of but secretly adore, and her round dark orbs that I always get lost in. That woman was the first and the last that I loved. That woman was, Im Yoona.  

230812.

The time I finally grew courage to come out from my hiding from a far. To just stop watching at the side and finally let my presence known to her. It was a surprise that she was well aware of my watching gaze that went on for months and months before the determination to introduce myself to her came. I guess I wasn’t really that good when it comes to hiding and being secretive, but she was.

We clicked on almost immediately to my surprise. She was so open and modest that it always got me wondering who approached who again. We always spent our free time together in the abandoned music room just at the far end of the campus, right at the corner. It was our place of escape, where we can both just get lost in each other’s company. She laughed so full heartedly that I always mocked her to how she’s slowly beginning to resemble a fish due to the way her jaw just hangs wide open whenever she laughs. The sound of her laughter rings in my ears as if she was right beside me right now, but she’s not. Not even anywhere close.

080515

12: 45A.M.

I opened my eyes, looking around the dimly lighted room. There was nothing but silence.

Time check, 12:47A.M.; has it really been an hour already? 23 hours and 13 minutes left until this day moves to the next. 23 hours and 13 minutes left until the ninth of May which marks the third year of when I first saw her playing alone in that music room.

That music room where everything began.

I will join you soon, my love.

We’ll be together, forever.   

I promise...

240313.

I’ve been longing to ask her out but I just had no such courage to do so. Whenever such thought invades my mind, the ‘what ifs’ are along with it. What if she says no, what if she thinks of me only as a friend or a brother, what if it will forever ruin our friendship, what if she never wants to see me again after that, what if...

I finally grew courage this day to ask her to be mine. To be mine officially, not that we were together in the first place but in my head we’ve always been together; ever since the time that I came up to her and introduced myself.

When the magic happened.

I planned out the whole day to make it special; a ride down the sunset hand in hand using those couple bikes, picnic on the park, take a stroll afterwards eating ice cream before I popped her the question. It turned out perfectly just as planned, and she said yes. Yes to being my girlfriend, yes to being mine.

It was one of the best day of my life, I love the moment, that moment that had to end with me walking her back to her house with a wrapped up of a goodnight kiss. I still remember the smoothness of her hair against my lips and the scent of the shampoo she uses, a soft and subtle strawberry scent. It was her signature smell which I’ve noticed since day one, she smells of sweet strawberries. Not overpowering and overwhelming but just, subtle. Just how I like it.

161214.

We graduated, and grew apart. Yoona went to pursue her music career and I went to pursue mine. We became more and more busy as months passed by; we’ve hardly gone out together, text or call. It was until I saw her hand in hand with another man. Tall, lean and muscular. She was laughing and seemingly enjoying the company of the male.

I didn’t like it; I didn’t like it at all. I was filled with nothing but anger, jealousy even. My breathing has become a lot shallow and harsh, needing to clench my fist from the itch of wanting to just swing it to the guy. They didn’t seem to have noticed me as they walk away laughing, smiles both plastered across their face reaching to their ear. I hate it, I hate it so much. But I got to be well composed and calm; after all, there might be a reason to this.

That night, I texted her that I missed her and asked her to what she’s doing at that moment. I waited and waited for any texts or call from her, there was none. Not even a single one.

140315.

“Kwon Jiyong, let’s break up.”

That’s what I got from her after the months and months of being apart and being unresponsive to any of my texts and calls. She still looks the same; the gleam in her eyes was still there which was what attracted me to her the first day. The long locks that she once had reaching down her waist has now been cut down to her shoulder blades, it made her looked much younger and radiant.

There was no trace of sadness or regret in her eyes. It was as if it was something very normal and ordinary to her. It pained me; it pained me to no end. It pained me knowing that it’s because she has another man.

So I blurted it out.

“Is it because you found a replacement to me already?”

She quickly shook her head.

In denial.

“There’s no one other than you, it’s just that, everything has changed. My feeling has changed; I don’t feel the same way as I once did to you, oppa.”

She lied so easily, so quickly in front of me.

It hurt. It hurt a lot.

We once promised to be together, you can’t break that promise now.

080515

01:20A.M.

It won’t be long until tomorrow comes but until then, we’ll just both have to wait.

I got up from the bed, stretching my arms out a bit while making my way to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from one of the cupboard before pouring some cold water on it with the pitcher of water that was in the fridge. I drank the water, not realising how thirsty and dry my mouth has been until now.

“I’ve arranged everything, everything so that we can be together forever just as we both promised to each other. You love me; you love me just as I love you. Right now, you’re just confused because we haven’t seen each other for a long time and your work is changing your perspective of things.”

I opened the large chest freezer, looking down at the resting figure of the woman inside. She is pale compared to how she usually was, and peaceful. She is beautiful, truly magnificent. And she is mine, all mine. No one can have her now except for me, and once tomorrow rises, we’ll be together. No one can separate us now.

I turned to look at the black, sophisticated box that was resting on top of the dining table. It was customised to be big enough for two; the workmanship was truly remarkable as well as the interior design and fabric that are the main features of the construction. I had to pay extra just to have it customised the way I wanted it to be, but it wasn’t anything of a big deal because I know that it have to be special. Everything has to be special for her.

This was the only way I can think of for us to be together.

I will join you soon, my love.

Everything may not have been what we always wanted it to be but we will be together just as we promised each other. I’m not going to lose you to anyone; I’m never going to lose you to anyone. Just as the saying goes, things that we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. This would be your way of coming back to me and never leaving my side again.

I wish to go back to how simple it used to be, but this would be the only way for us now.

We’ll be together, forever.

“In loving memory of:

Kwon Jiyong & Im Yoona

Together, Forever.

090515”