Jimin looked down at the small photograph in his hands as he lit it on fire.

Seven young boys beamed back at him with their arms draped around each other – their shining, laughing eyes seemed to light up the glossy material despite the flames that were slowly consuming the photograph.

There was Namjoon hyung and Jin hyung clinging to one another – the Cannot Dance Line, as the whole group used to call them – and then Yoongi hyung, who was standing on his toes with his elbows propped up on Jungkook’s shoulders in an attempt to appear taller, and at the bottom was himself – squashed comfortably in between Taetae with his alien grin and Hope hyung with his sunny, megawatt smile.

Jimin held on to the edges of the photograph as the flames continued to spread, remembering the day it had been taken.

“Last one out of here buys dinner!!!” Jimin called out, pushing past Rap Monster and J-Hope as the seven of them ran towards the end of the underground tunnel. The walls echoed loudly with their laughter and footsteps, producing a clattering and booming sound throughout the entire tunnel.

As his feet raced across the grey stone floor, Jimin tilted his head towards his left and was surprised to see his pink-haired hyung just behind him.

Well that hyung ran pretty fast for someone who moved so little, he thought.

Slowly, the dimly-lit tunnel became increasingly illuminated by the strong daylight that was seeping in from the mouth of the tunnel. All seven of them picked up their paces, and after a few moments, they were greeted by the bright, warm sunshine as they exited the tunnel.

“Jin hyung buys dinner!!!” Jungkook yelled, as the eldest hyung exited the tunnel last, panting and out of breath. Everyone else cheered as Jin rolled his eyes.

“I’m the eldest hyung, you babo,” he panted, as J-Hope pulled out his little camera and began cramming everyone into a selfie. “I would have been the one buying dinner anyway.”

“Everyone say kimcheeeeee!!!” J-Hope said, as he grinned and clicked the shutter. Jimin smiled widely, putting his arms around Taehyung and J-Hope as they squeezed into him from both sides.

Jimin had never felt so happy. 

By now, the photograph was turning into an ashy, black lump in his hand. In a few short moments, it would be the end of that photograph. And the end of him as well, Jimin thought sadly.

Dropping the remains onto the bathroom floor, he sighed as he lowered himself deeper into the water.

Jimin wasn’t planning on resurfacing. 

When the six white petals on the floor began to flame up, it didn’t take long for Jin to realize what was happening down there.

He’d been watching his six kiddos all this time – in all their moments of pain, frustration and suffering during what would be the last few days of their lives. The worst part was not being able to do a single thing about it.

Yes, he watched it all. Watched Yoongi brood around his motel room all day contemplating to burn the place down while Hobi overdosed his body on pills and Namjoonie spent everyday at the gas station trying to pretend that everything was okay. He watched their baby Kookie get beaten to a pulp while the other two youngsters Jimin and Taehyung struggled with depression and alcohol problems.

Jin walked over to the little window of the room and drew back the thin, white curtains in one swift movement.

Today, the light was shining in stronger than usual. He didn’t know which he wanted more – for some miracle to happen so that they could all go back to their old lives, or for the six of them to just end it quickly so that they could all be together again. He just wanted to end all their pain, because it hurt seeing them hurt.

Turning back to glance at the burnt, ashy remains of the white petals, Jin braced himself for what was to come. 

A few pieces of the dried wood sparked up, then the entire pile erupted in flames. “I did it!” Rap Monster yelled, jumping back from the hot flames. There were cheers all round as everyone else automatically reached out to warm their hands.

On a cold, winter night, seven boys sat round a campfire – it was Bangtan’s first Christmas together. Rather than spending their holiday baking gingerbread cookies and singing carols by a fireplace, the boys had decided to hit the outdoors for a crazy – and extremely loud – snowball fight.

It was massively fun, until their bodies started to feel numb from the cold. That was when Jin decided it would be good to start a fire, so he and Rap Monster set out to gather pieces of wood while the younger ones collapsed in an exhausted but giggly heap on top of one another and continued smearing each other’s faces with snow. 

They sat there, talking and laughing and just enjoying each other’s company. Feeling a little tired, Jungkook let out a small yawn and leaned into Suga, who grinned and wrapped his arm around the maknae. Jimin, who was watching them, humorously imitated Jungkook’s yawn and pressed the side of his face into the person beside him. 

“YAH! Jiminie your cheek is frozen!” J-Hope screeched and jerked back, knocking V into Rap Monster, who almost fell into the fire.

“Yahhh, Tae!” Rap Monster shrieked. “Watch out, I almost died!”

As Hobi tackled Jimin to the ground, Rap Monster reached out and grabbed onto V’s head, ducking him. V laughed and wriggled in his hyung’s grip, but Rap Monster was stronger.

“I. ALMOST. DIED…!” Rap Monster exaggerated, grabbing V’s head and stuffing handfuls of snow into his beanie. V cringed at the iciness, wriggling even more and whining out to the others for help. 

A quick glance round the fire proved his attempts to be futile. By now, J-Hope was already sitting on top of a very defeated-looking Jimin, while Jin was giving them one of his loving yet judging stares. Opposite him, Suga still had his arms around Jungkook and didn’t look like he was planning to move from that position anytime soon.

Rap Monster laughed hysterically as V was forced to surrender. Their leader pulled the beanie off his head, causing all the snow stuffed in there to slide clumsily down V’s face.

Putting his arms around V’s neck in a playful half-strangle and half-hug, Rap Monster leaned down to the freezing boy’s ear and whispered cheekily, “Merry Christmas, Taetae.”

After being out nearly all day, V managed to find another old, abandoned-looking flat to spend the night.

He stepped through the main doors cautiously, allowing his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. He noticed many empty beer bottles and trash lying around, but he couldn’t tell how long they had been there. Just as he was about to explore the rest of the ground floor, he heard a faint noise coming from upstairs.

Strange, he thought, walking over to the stairs and putting his foot up on the first step. What kind of noise would come from an abandoned flat?

in a sharp breath, he took another step forward.

in a sharp breath, he took another step forward.

Every wobbly step he took sent a fresh wave of excruciating jabs into his back, his shoulders, his stomach, his legs… his everything. There was a sharp pain in his head, his left eye felt swollen up and he tasted blood on his lips.

Jungkook bit down hard on his lower lip, fighting back the stinging tears that were threatening to well up in his eyes. He’d managed to drag himself out of the old alley – God knows how – and was now trudging along the main road once again. He knew he must have looked horrendous – all bruised and covered in dried blood, but he ignored the stares he got from the people who passed by him and turned to cross the road.

Everything hurt. Hurt so bad. His entire body hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain he felt inside.

How much longer was he going to roam the streets aimlessly? Until he found his brothers? Or until he stopped hurting? It didn’t look as if either one was going to happen anytime soon.

The little maknae stepped onto the main road, not caring whether the green man was lit up or not. He was tired, so so tired. His eyelids began to feel heavy, and his footsteps slowed.

He was in the middle of the road when his sleepy thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of a car’s horn right next to him.

As he made his way up the stairs, it became clear that it was the voice of a man and a woman. And by the sound of it, they were arguing about something, although he couldn’t make out what they were saying. They sounded drunk, though.

Reaching the room where the sounds came from, V glanced through the slit of the half open door.

Yup, definitely drunk.

The couple looked disheveled and physically unstable as they struggled valiantly and spouted bitter words at one another. Suddenly, the man grabbed the girl’s head in his hands and roughly pushed her back, causing her to stumble and fall. Then he reached out and hit her hard across her head.

V held in a gasp, his eyes widening. A man never, ever hits a lady.

At least, that’s what Jin hyung used to say.

As the “Mum of the group”, Jin hyung not only did most of the cooking and cleaning in their home, but also spent lots of time taking care of them and teaching the younger ones – particularly Jimin, V and Jungkook – the ways and manners of a proper man. It sounded a little cheesy, but V had always been thankful for that.

Suddenly, all the memories began rushing back. Along with all the pain. And that opened the door, for all the anger V had been holding in all this while, to just gush out.

Without thinking, V spun around and whizzed an empty beer bottle off a nearby table. He pushed the door open roughly and barged inside, ignoring the shocked faces of the couple.

Pushing past the girl, he grabbed the man by the collar of his T-shirt, his mind still racing uncontrollably.

The last thing he heard as he swung the bottle upwards and prepared to slam it down was the loud, clear sound of a car’s horn being pushed from the street below. 

Jungkook barely had time to turn his head towards the direction of the sound, before he felt something huge and rock solid ram right into his left side.

He flew backwards a few yards from the impact. He felt his cheek graze the rough surface of the road, and realized he was lying on the ground. His left side and hip was in extreme pain, and he felt liquid soaking up his shirt.

He tried to turn his head to look, but he couldn’t move his neck. Jungkook let out a shaky breath.

Cars horned, tires screeched to a stop and he heard the muffled voices of people who had gathered round to help. He tilted his eyes upwards and saw a man crouching over him and examining his side, firmly telling him not to move. Jungkook took his eyes off the man, staring blankly ahead as his vision began to cloud over. He felt like he must be losing a lot of blood, because he was beginning to feel very faint.

In the midst of all the noise and chaos, he felt a numbness set in just enough to block out all the sounds he was hearing, just enough to hear the little voice in the back of his head telling him that it was no use.

For once, Jungkook didn’t argue back.

He’d lost everything. He wasn’t going to find them, and the pain wasn’t going to stop.

Slowly, it dawned upon him that maybe, just maybe, fighting wasn’t worth it anymore.

He’d made it this far …. surely, his six hyungs – wherever they were – would be proud of him, some way or another? He didn’t know if they were, or if he would ever see them again.

But he was tired. So tired. All he wanted to do was sleep.

He felt himself slowly slipping in and out of consciousness as he continued to lose more and more blood.

Still lying on his side in the middle of the road, Jungkook took one last look at the tilted images of the cars and people surrounding him, and made his decision.

He took a deep breath, and exhaled, feeling it all being released. All the pain, all the sadness, all the frustration, all the loneliness and all the hopelessness that had been haunting him all this time – he felt them all leave his body, being washed away like magic.

All the surrounding noises faded out, all the pain was numbed and for a second, Jungkook felt peaceful.

It felt good – he thought, a small smile coming to his face as his eyes closed for the last time – it felt good, to finally, just let go. 

The single horn of a car on the street below.

The sickening crunch sound of a glass bottle being rammed straight into a person’s skull.

A high-pitched, horrified scream of a girl.

Then there was silence.

Everything was suddenly quiet. The streets below were quiet. Nobody in the room made a sound. The man in front of him let out a muffled groan as he collapsed against the window. V watched as a trickle of blood began to flow from his head, slowly soaking the collar of his white shirt.

Then something in him snapped.

He raised his hand – still holding on to the bottle, which was now broken with sharp edges of glass jutting out – and stabbed it straight into the man’s stomach.

Again and again.

With every stab, the mental images of their old Bangtan playfights gushed out of the little box in the back of his mind that he’d tried so hard to keep locked up. And that only made him stab harder.

The man cried out in agony and pain, but V had gone too far to stop. He let his mind switch off while his body acted on its own.

Well, no one could blame the kid, considering what he’d been put through.

But boy, did he feel partially responsible for letting it come to this.

He knew, at that moment, that he wasn’t looking at the little Taehyungie who used to run around the house making weird alien noises and who sat around talking to inanimate objects like the laundry.

No, that cheerful, crazy young boy Taehyung was gone.

All he saw right now was a murderer.

A single tear rolled down Jin’s cheek, because he knew what would happen next.

With all his remaining strength, V gave him one final stab.

The broken bottle cut deep into the man’s stomach, and blood gushed out from his mouth.

Suddenly snapping back and realizing what he’d just done, V let go of the man – who crumpled to the floor in a pool of blood. V stared as the girl rushed over to the man’s lifeless body, screaming and crying as she did so.

He thought that finally allowing himself to lose control and hurt someone would release all the pain and tension inside. Thought it would have made him feel better, or even more in control.

It didn’t.

All he felt was the aching, suffocating horror of realizing that he had just killed someone. 

- AUTHOR'S NOTE - 

Finally, Chapter 5! I apologize sooo much for this one coming out so late - was out of town for a bit and this one was hard to put together! But thanks everyone for continuing to read and not giving up on this story HAHAHA, and thank you so much for subscribing - you guys are THE BEST. :) Here's an extra long chapter to make up for it, and I hope you all enjoy it! Stay tuned for the ending, and please do continue to subscribe and comment! :)