His eyes were a fathomless brown, the kind you could get lost in. They were shocking and electric, they could capture ones soul in an instance, and that is exactly what they did to him. He could still remember the time he first looked into those eyes. At that time he could not understood his feelings, he wouldn’t understand until they had become over whelming. Feelings he could neither suppress nor control. It would become a feeling he feared as well as his greatest strength. One he was afraid to confront, as well as one he wished to flee from.

"We ask that the passengers will begin to board. The next flight for Beijing will depart shortly. We repeat-"

"Excuse me, Hankyung," Jolting, Hangeng looked up into the straight face of the man before him, "They have proceeded to board the plane, I would suggest that you join them."

Nodding silently he grabbed his tote bag as he headed towards the line, preparing to leave Korea, for good. Biting his lip he banished the face that swam before his eyes and the pained expression that those eyes would hold once they learned of his deception. The eyes that had shaken the core of his soul for the last five years.

Nodding grimly to the stewardess he followed the line as they began to select their seats, his mind swimming with the confusion he had been quelling for so long. Could his brothers ever forgive him for leaving them, would they possibly understand, or would the betrayal be too much? How he had wished he could tell them what he had been planning this last month, or how he wished he could have properly told them good bye, but he new that that was impossible. He did not think that he could have left if they had known. Their pleas and their cries would have kept him. One look from HIM and he would have never been able to leave his side. Even now he wished to leave this plane and run to him, run to him and tell him everything and hold him. Hold him so tight that he would never let go. How his heart ached for it, but he new it could not be.

It would never be accepted, and that was why he was leaving. These emotions were something that could not be contained anymore, and they would be the destruction of them all, especially him. He was the only one that Hangeng wanted to protect more than anything else in this world, and leaving was the best way to protect him and to cure this - this illness that swept through him.

Sitting heavily in the seat Hangeng looked out the window forlornly. The view before him swimming as the tears welled in his eyes. Swallowing hard he closed his eyes as he forced away his tears, allowing the sun to gently caress his face with its gentle fingers, its warmth soft on his lips. Biting them he thought of how his felt, soft and yielding. Unwilling his mind strayed to the first time that he had suggested they become kiss partners, and the immense shock he had received. He could still feel the confusion and the wonderment of whether or not he had lost the translation. He remembered how his heart raced when they had been drinking and it had happened the first time - the first, powerful kiss. His face still burned with the embarrassment and confusion. Slowly he felt himself drift into restless sleep as the plane began to take of, his memories melding with his dreams.

"Hankyung." Heechul’s voice persisted through his foggy mind, "Hankyung, wake up! We’re going to be late!"

"I don’t understand you," he mumbled groggily, turning to the other side.

"Hankyung I’m hungry!" Heechul’s voice whined. "Get up!"

"Make something yourself!" Hankyung mumbled, pulling the pillow over his head.

"I thought you said you didn’t understand! Liar! Get up! I want to eat!"

"I don’t understand! Now go away!!"

"I’m going to cry!"

"I don’t care! Let me sleep!"

"Fine then, be that way." Heechul replied sulkily.

"I will." Snuggling under his pillow Hankyung relaxed, listening as Heechul shuffled about the room.

"Stupid Hankyung, he doesn’t understand anything does he, Heebum?"

Narrowing his eyes at the insult, Hankyung forced his eyes to remain shut as Heechul continued to talk to his cat.

"He doesn’t care about anybody but himself. We are so hungry and all he wants to do is sleep, what a horrible man. He makes my heart sad." Heechul cried, his voice filling with sorrow and sadness. "I thought we were friends, and that he cared, but I guess you’re the only one who loves me." He finished, soft cries emulating from his body.

Peeking out from beneath his pillow Hankyung saw Heechul huddled in the corner, hugging his cat.

'I bet he’s faking like usual…' Hankyung thought cynically, pulling back under his pillow. I’ll just ignore him.

Trying to ignore the soft sounds of crying Hankyung tried to fall back asleep.

He is faking it, right? He asked himself, peeking out of his pillow again, to see Heechul’s thin frame rocking as he cried.

Guilt sweeping through him Hankyung pushed the blankets aside and padded towards Heechul.

“Heechul… are you ok?” he asked uncertainly.

“No, you said you didn’t care,” he whispered brokenly, refusing to face him.

Heart sinking Hankyung reached for him, “Come on Heechul, you know I didn’t mean it.” He replied coaxingly.

Yanking his shoulder away Heechul continued to stare at the wall, “How do I know that?”

“Well…” Hankyung thought, searching for the words, crouching beside him. “How about I make you what ever you want for breakfast?”

“That doesn’t mean you care.” Heechul bit back.

“Come on Heechul you know I love you.” Hankyung replied in desperation, jolting at the words. “Wait, I didn’t, I mean that’s the wrong - uh, I mean don’t-“

“OK!” Heechul interrupted, leaping to his feet, smiling mischievously. “I want fried noodles!”

“Huh?!” Hankyung replied, trying to organize his thoughts and what he just said.

“I said I want noodles!” Heechul replied radiantly. “You said I could have anything I wanted right?”

Narrowing his eyes Hankyung took in Heechul’s dry eyes. “You weren’t even crying were you?” he accused.

“Hmmmm... I don’t know, was I?” He asked playfully.

“Heechul!” Hankyung shouted back angrily, standing to look at him.

“Yes?” he asked doe eyed.

“I-” Hankyung began, looking into Heechul’s innocent face. “Oh, never mind.” He replied defeated, brushing off hands, “You said you wanted noodles, yes? I’ll make them, so go wash up.”

“Really?!” Heechul asked, brightening, “Thanks! You’re the best!” He said as he leaned forward, kissing Hankyung full on the mouth before dancing off. At the door way he turned to a stunned Hankyung. “Oh and I love you to!” He smiled radiantly, disappearing behind the frame. Heart racing, Hankyung placed his fingers to his lips tentatively, heat racing through his body as he stared blankly at the empty frame.

Swimming, the dream was replaced by another memory, one he had sought to forget the most.

“You love him don’t you?” Siwon asked softly, looking at Hankyung sadly.

“What?” Hankyung asked in surprise, prying his eyes from Heechul who was talking in an interview.

“I said you love him don’t you?"

“What do you mean?” Hankyung hedged carefully.

“I mean, your heart races when your around him, your mind is full of him, when your apart you feel as if your going to die, and all you want is to be around him.” Siwon replied impatiently.

“Oh,” Hankyung replied, “I don’t know if you should say I love hi-”

“Don’t bull me.” Siwon bit angrily, his eyes flashing. “I asked if you loved him.”

Biting his lip uncertainly Hankyung looked at Siwon’s serious face, “I don’t see how it concerns you.”

“Just answer the damn question.”

Looking at Heechul, Hankyung caught his eye, waving back as Heechul waved enthusiastically at him, his heart filling with warmth, a smile creeping across his face. Turning to face Siwon he looked him in the eyes. “Yes, I do. I truly love him.”

Flashing his eyes radiated pain before they became void. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” He whispered, looking at Heechul again, “That is the one thing I am most sure of.”

“Then don’t do anything stupid.” Siwon growled angrily.

“What do you mean?” Hankyung asked uncertainly.

“You said you love him, no? But you are man and so is he. It is a foolish love.” Siwon replied caustically. “Hankyung, it is best if you forget this kind of love. You need to forget it and give up! Do you honestly think that society will accept you? You are MEN. Prominent men of the entertainment industry at that. It is fine for fan service, but how do you think the fans will react when they find that ‘Hanchul’ is real?” He demanded, backing Hankyung against a wall, placing his hands on either side blocking him from leaving. “They will tear you and him apart. They will destroy you.”

“Siwon, I don’t see how this concerns you.” Hankyuk replied coldly, edging out from below his arms as he walked off.

Desperately Siwon grabbed his arm, his eyes filled with pain, “Leave him! It will only cause pain and heartache.”

“I think I am old enough to make my own decisions.” Hankyung replied, glaring angrily.

“Then leave him. The world will never accept you, and you aren’t powerful enough to defy the world. If you don’t leave him, then it will destroy you both and the group.” Siwon pleaded, searching his face.

Glaring Hankyuk shook his arm free, “Your words have been noted, now if you’ll excuse me.” He replied coldly, ignoring Siwon’s hurt expression as he went to Heechul.

“Hankyung!” Heechul exclaimed, dancing up to him, “I looked amazing didn’t I? I was dazzling right?”

“You were absolutely handsome.” Hankyung replied smiling, laughing at Heechul’s embarrassed expression. “Say, why don’t we drink to celebrate?”

“Alright!” Heechul agreed enthusiastically. “We will drink in our room!”

“When shall we meet?” Hankyung answered laughingly at Heechul’s excitement.

“We start whenever we get there!” Heechul exclaimed excitedly.

“Alright.” Hankyung chuckled softly, “lets go.” He replied, ushering Heechul from the room, we have a photo shoot to take.”

“Alright, let’s go!” He sang, dancing ahead. Turning Hankyung looked to see Siwon staring at him brokenly, his words swimming through his mind. Turning he followed Heechul.

Later that night Hankyung sat, staring at a drunken Heechul as he slept in his lap, smiling tenderly. Unwanted Siwon’s words flooded his mind. If you don’t leave him, then it will destroy you both and the group.

“I love the group, after all we are Super Junior,” Hankyung mused to himself thoughtfully, “But you are more important to me. I-I love you.” He whispered softly to Heechul’s ear. A slight smile creeping over Heechul’s face he turned, grabbing Hankyung’s waist as he continued to sleep, mumbling slightly in his sleep. Smiling tenderly Hankyung gently tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

“What was that?” he asked softly.

“I love you Hangeng.” Heechul mumbled softly again, snuggling deeper into his waist. Racing, heat flooded Hankyung’s face at the mention of his birth name. Leaning down he felt an impulsive urge to kiss him. Stopping Siwon’s words slammed into his heart; Do you honestly think that society will accept you? Straightening he gently Heechul’s hair, “I don’t care what society thinks of me, but I won’t have them thinking ill of you.” He whispered.

“Hannie, I’m cold.” Heechul mumbled softly, trying to snuggle deeper into Hankyung’s warmth.

Smiling gently Hankyung caressed his face before he stood, gathering Heechul in his arms. “I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” He said affectionately carrying him to the bed. Gently he lay him down, leaning forward he gently kisses Heechul’s lips. Turning he began to leave when he felt a sharp tug on his arm, turning he looked to face Heechul.

“Don’t leave me.” He pleaded, with child like eyes. “Please don’t leave me.”

“What are you talking about?” Hankyung replied gently as he unwound his fingers from his arm, “I am only going to my bed.”

“No, you were leaving!” Heechul exclaimed in terror, grabbing tighter.

“No, I wasn’t silly.” Hankyung replied gently, leaving his hand on Heechul’s. “You’re drunk, and were just having a bad dream.”

“But I sensed it.” He whispered, his eyes full of terror, “Everything was telling me you were leaving, I can’t let you leave, please don’t leave, I can’t live without you!” he exclaimed desperately.

“Shhhh,” Hankyung whispered soothingly, sitting on his bed, “I’m not going anywhere; I’ll stay right here, all night.” He replied reassuringly.

“You promise?” Heechul demanded, refusing to let go of his arm.

“I promise,” Hankyung replied.

Smiling contently Heechul fell back into his slumber his tight hold remaining on Hankyung’s arm. Smiling sadly Hankyung lay down beside him, their hearts syncing as he let sleep claim him, Siwon’s words circling his mind. The world will never accept you, and you aren’t powerful enough to defy the world.

Jolting Hankyung woke to the landing of the plane, his eyes squinting against the sun as he wiped the tears from his eyes. Rolling his shoulders he stretched, reflecting on his dreams. Absently he listened to the stewardess monologue and stood with the other passengers as they rose to exit. Shouldering his bag Siwon’s words played in his mind, you aren’t powerful enough to defy the world.

Your right Siwon, I am not powerful enough to defy the world, or to protect Heechul. But I will be. I will become so powerful and influential that nobody can stand between Heechul and me. I will work hard and become somebody that nobody can oppose. Hangeng thought resolutely.

“So wait for me Chullie,” He whispered, stepping into the sunlight, shielding his eyes from the light. “I will become so powerful that nobody can defy me and I will protect you. Until then wait for me. Wait for me for as long as it takes. I swear I’ll come back for you.” Gripping his shoulder strap mercilessly Hankyung stepped into China, his face set for the battle ahead.