Chapter 8 – House

房子
（一）Use both hands to form a “^”, like the roof of a house

Time was a weird thing – sometimes it would not get by, for example when you sat in the last class for the day and the last ten minutes had started. Suddenly ten minutes felt like an eternity. Or when you were waiting for someone, you were a little early and the other one was a little late and suddenly you felt like you’ve been waiting for at least half an hour instead of maybe five.
And yet time could also pass by without even being noticed. Suddenly you realized that the neighbour’s kid had grown into a young adult, Christmas came just as sudden as the last year even though everybody was aware of the date or you sat in front of your computer and surfed the web, and suddenly the clock showed 2 a.m. even though the last time you checked it was 10 p.m. and you could’ve sworn that you haven’t spent four hours scrolling through one god damn website.
Yifan found himself on this side of the spectrum. Before he could even notice, Christmas and a little Christmas party with the Koreans had gone by and suddenly January had ended. Which meant the trip to Changsha was near and it made Yifan extremely nervous, while Yixing seemed to be overjoyed about the whole family reunion thing. Only around Christmas the two had decided to make their relationship official to their friends and families. While Yifan’s parents did not even seem to care a lot when he had told them (“Okay, thanks for telling us. So. What’s university doing?”) Yixing’s mother went from “Oh my god, I somehow knew it!” to “Does Yifan have any allergies that I have to mind when I cook? What’s his favorite dinner? And is there something he doesn’t like at all? Can I leave you guys alone in a room without you starting making out?” within seconds. It was clear she would be making a big deal out of it – and that she would be watching every step Yifan would make under her roof. And suddenly, after weeks of packing and unpacking appropriate outfits for the festivities and buying presents for Yixing’s parents and sister, Yifan picked his suitcase from the baggage claim at Changsha Huanghua Airport and felt like vomiting.
“You look a little green around the nose, want me to hold your hand?”
“This is not funny, Yixing!” the taller one whined but Yixing just linked their arms and said:
“Don’t worry, my mother loves you already.”
“Oh great, then I’ll only have to convince 98% of the rest of your family to like me!” Yifan scoffed and Yixing patted his arm but this gesture did nothing to calm the other one down.
Yifan had never been in a situation like this before. Chinese tended to bring their girl- or boyfriend to their parents’ home when they were really going steady with a marriage in mind. Nobody of Yifan’s ex-partners had even made it to a video conversation with his parents, so he wasn’t really sure how the whole thing should go down. They stepped out into the arrival hall where a lot of other people waited with signs in their hands they had scribbled for those they needed to pick up. Yixing looked around but couldn’t detect his family – when they had passed the first pile of people and there was still no sign of Yixing’s parents, Yifan somehow thought that maybe he would be spared for a little more, but then it happened:
Yixing’s mother, who was smaller than Yifan had guessed, stood a little offside and when she recognized her son, her face lit up and she met the two half way.
“My son!” she cried out and pulled him into a big hug.
“Hey Ma…” Yixing managed to say before she gave her son a million kisses on his cheeks, smearing her lipstick all over him.
“God, look at you. You’ve become so skinny!” she whined and squished his cheeks, “You’re clearly not eating enough! And what’s with that haircut?!”
Mrs. Zhang tried to get Yixing’s hair into a ‘more appropriate’ hairstyle, but when she failed, she sighed and gave up. Then her gaze crossed Yifan’s who had stood awkwardly next to them. Her jaw dropped.
“You are… so tall! How are you so tall?!”
“Ummmmm… well…” Yifan started and Mrs. Zhang examined him from head to toe.
“Tsk, tsk, you’re also very skinny! Aren’t you guys eating well?”
“We eat all the time, Mrs. Zhang,” Yifan manged to say while she patted his face with her perfect manicured hands – she had to get on her tiptoes for this and Yifan bent his knees slightly to make it easier for her.
“Then it’s the pollution! I knew it! The pollution makes you sick! I’ll make sure to pack you a lot of stuff when you leave again. Maybe some vitamins, I heard Beijingers lack Vitamin D because there’s barely any sun…”
“Ma, we arrived maybe five minutes ago!” her son cut her off before she could start citing random medical articles she had read in one of her women magazines.
She sighed, gave Yifan a big smile and said:
“Welcome to Changsha, Yifan. Let’s get to the car, Weiyuan’s already waiting.”
Then she led the two guys outside the airport to the parking lot. When Yifan stepped out he regretted his choice of clothing immediately: When they had left Beijing in the morning, it was somewhere below the freezing point but Changsha was at least twenty degree Celsius warmer than the capital. Yixing placed one hand on his shoulder and said:
“See? You don’t have to worry.”
Yifan only gave a whimpering noise, and Yixing squeezed his shoulder one last time before he let go and caught up to his mother who went straight to a black Benz. A man in his forties leaned against it, smoking a cigarette and talking into his phone. He seemed to be upset about whatever the person on the other end of the line had told him.
“Listen, I don’t care about what you just told me – we are sending according to the plan we made on Monday! … What do you mean… NO! … Are you kidding me?! … Okay, Mr. Wang, let me tell you: We are going on air with this stuff. If you are not able to pull this off, don’t think you’ll have to come back to your office on Monday!”
He hung up on the caller and flicked his cigarette to the floor. The other three had reached him and Mrs. Zhang said:
“Is it work?”
“I leave early ONCE in my life and they are not able to do their usual work, what kind of employees do I have?!” Yixing’s father cried out in anger, but when he finally locked his eyes with Yixing, his facial expression softened and he proceeded to give him a big hug.
“Did you have a good flight?” he asked, using sign language unlike his wife.
“Yeah, it was okay,” Yixing informed.
He patted his son’s head with a loving smile and then he turned to Yifan.
“So, you’re the mysterious boyfriend, huh?”
“My…sterious?” Yifan stammered and Mrs. Zhang examined him from head to toe.
Then he gave his son and his wife a glance over his right shoulder and he said:
“No one’s told me he’s so tall!”
Yixing burst into laughter, while Mrs. Zhang said:
“Don’t look at me, I’m surprised myself!”
The man took Yifan’s baggage and went for the car’s trunk.
“There’s only one explanation, you surely must be from the North,” he chattered while closing the lid.
“I’m actually from Guangzhou,” Yifan answered and stumbled into the Benz, because Yixing had opened the door and had insinuated for him to get in.
When Mr. Zhang sat behind the wheel, he turned around one more time.
“But… how?”
“My family’s pretty tall. I guess we’re mutants,” Yifan joked and got a big laugh from Mr. Zhang in return before he started the engine.
It wasn’t too wrong what Yifan had said – people in the South tended to be smaller than those in the North and Yifan’s family had always been exceptionally tall. He had always been the tallest in his class and even his mother exceeded the average height of 5’5’’ by almost eight inches. His father was also unusually tall with his 6’2’’ of height. It was no wonder Yifan was considered a giant among the Southerners.
“Okay, let’s go home, Zhenzhen is already eagerly waiting for you, Yixing,” Mrs. Zhang chattered and Yixing’s grin made clear that he was just as eagerly waiting for his little sister.
“It’s going to take about an hour to get to our house,” Mr. Zhang informed and drove onto the next highway.
“We don’t like all this stress in the city, so we moved a little into the outer skirts,” his wife continued, as if she wanted to apologize for the long road trip.
“Oh, it’s okay, don’t worry about me,” Yifan responded, “Before I moved to Beijing we were visiting our family in the countryside a lot. I’m used to long car rides.”
While Mr. Zhang drove them to Wangcheng, a district that still belonged to Changsha, Mrs. Zhang made sure to not let awkward silence emerge between all of them. She almost acted like the host of a talk show and asked a lot of questions that were directed at Yifan most of the time. He didn’t mind – he was bad at smalltalk so he was happy about Mrs. Zhang giving him a lot of topics to talk about. After a little longer than an hour because of a minor traffic jam on the highway, Mr. Zhang drove up the driveway of what not only looked like a house, it looked like a mansion.
“Wait, what, this is your house?!” Yifan asked in shocked when all of them got out.
“Ummm. Yeah. I also think it’s too big,” Yixing admitted with an embarrassed look on his face.
“Too big? It’s only got five bedrooms…” Mr. Zhang threw in and looked at the outside of his house, as if he couldn’t quite follow.
That was the problem with Chinese and its ambiguity in some words – the word “fángzǐ” could mean everything. It could be a one room apartment in the slums of Beijing, it could be a decent apartment that you owned in a skyscraper of Beijing’s Chaoyang district, but it could also be a big house with a garden, two or three cars and a dog. Suddenly, the entrance door of the house swung open and a teenaged girl emerged. She had just jumped into her sneakers, not bothering to tie her laces.
“Yixiiiiiiiing!” She cried out and crushed into her older brother who lifted her up from her feet.
The siblings spent almost a minute hugging before Zhenzhen pulled away. Yifan had been busy getting their stuff out of the trunk.
“Zhenzhen, help Yifan with the luggage, will you?” her father ordered, before he left for the house, dialing a number on his phone again.
She gave Yixing a last radiant smile before she walked over to Yifan. When she saw him, her smile faded and made way for an impressed look on her face.
“Yeaaah, I know, I’m very tall. Hi, I’m Yifan.”
Zhenzhen giggled and shook his hand.
“I was about to say that you’re very handsome, but yes, you’re also very tall.”
She turned back to Yixing and signed:
“Are you sure he’s not too big for you?”
Yifan’s mouth dropped open, Yixing started to laugh and Mrs. Zhang who had seen all of it screamed:
“ZHENZHEN!!! I SAW THAT!”
“Woopsieeee,” she said and took the suitcase out of Yifan’s hands, “I’ll take care of that. Sorry!”
She turned for the house, her scolding mother on her heels.
“You can’t SAY things like that!! What the hell were you thinking? That is extremely rude, I didn’t raise you to have a bad mouth like this!”
Mother and daughter left the two guys alone and only when they disappeared into the house, Mrs. Zhang’s nagging faded. Yifan blinked confused and then asked:
“Wait a minute, was she referring to my size?”
Yixing still giggled and managed to nod a little, making Yixing’s mouth drop open.
“I’m sorry, she’s quite a handful. But she’s actually a real sweetheart. Just a little cheeky is all.”
“How old is she?”
“Sixteen.”
Yifan let out a sigh.
“The worst age someone could be in. I should know, because when I was sixteen? My god, I was horrible.”
“Nooo I don’t believe that,” Yixing objected and Yifan threw an arm around his shoulders.
“If you had met me back then you would’ve hated me, I’m sure. I was a little brat.”
“You’re still a little brat,” Yixing muttered under his breath and Yifan had difficulties understanding him, mostly because the tones were non-existent in this volume.
Yifan’s arm slipped off Yixing’s back, causing the smaller one to face him.
“I was jokiiiiiing!”
Yixing grabbed the other one’s hand and squeezed it.
“Come on, let’s go in.”
“I think I will get lost in this… house. Or whatever you call it.”
“Trust me, you won’t.”
Yifan didn’t quite believe him, but he let Yixing take the lead and followed.

He didn’t. The layout of what the Zhang’s called a ‘house’ and Yifan a ‘mansion’ was very simple: There was a small foyer to place shoes and coats, followed by a big room that functioned as living-, diningroom and kitchen. If you went downstairs, there was a bar with a billiard table and other fancy things to spend your freetime with and the possibility to enter the big backyard. Upstairs where the bed- and bathrooms. Yixing’s room was very spacious and seemed a little sterile ever since he had moved most of his possessions from Wangcheng to his apartment in Beijing, but there were still books and drawings left that didn’t make it into one of the moving boxes. Big windows on one side of the room made the room appear even bigger and let you see right over the yard where a professional gardener (obviously) had planted a lot of flowers and other plants to shield the family from the surrounding neighbors.
“Do you want to hang your clothes into the closet?” Yixing wanted to know when Yifan had finally passed the tour through the house.
They were rather lucky – the other two bedrooms had to be free for the cousins and grandmother that would be coming on Monday, so Yifan could stay with Yixing, even though Mrs. Zhang didn’t seem all too happy about it (“It’s not because you’re two guys! I wouldn’t want Zhenzhen’s boyfriend to sleep in her room either!” which Zhenzhen had responded to with an epic eyeroll, because she didn’t have any relationship whatsoever and she didn’t make the impression that she was interested in one anytime soon).
“Ummm, I don’t care to be honest. Maybe the dress shirts so they don’t crumple.”
“Okay.”
Yixing proceeded to unpack their clothes while Yifan stared into the garden with its big pool which was unused during this time of the year. Yifan decided to come back in summer, if the rest of the week wouldn’t be a complete disaster.
“You know, I’m still processing this.” He turned to the other one who had fetched some hangers for the shirts.
“Processing what?” Yixing asked.
“Well, maybe the fact that you’re rich and I didn’t even know? I didn’t even have an idea about it!”
Yixing scoffed.
“Technically it’s my father who is rich. Every Yuan I spend is actually his. I don’t like to brag about it very much, it’s nothing to be proud of. And as soon as people hear that you’ve got money they only want to be your friend because of that. I’ve had enough of this.”
Which perfectly explained why Yixing never seemed to spend a lot of money and rather went to the fake markets than to the high-end designer boutiques to get his stuff.  
“Okay then your father is rich which makes you a rich son. It’s basically the same.”
Yixing didn’t seem to be in the mood to discuss this out so he just shrugged his shoulders and placed Yifan’s shirts in his closet.
“What does your father do to be able to pay all this?” Yifan asked when he plopped down on Yixing’s bed.
“Umm… he… works for the Hunan TV Station?”
Yifan only needed to raise his eyebrow to make Yixing whimper and bury his face in his hands before he admitted:
“Okay, he’s one of the vice presidents.”
“Ha! This explains everything!”
Yixing sat down next to Yifan and chuckled softly. It was clear he did not want to make a huge deal out of his dad’s job.
“So all of this,” Yifan said and looked around the room one more time, “Is thanks to the success of Happy Camp and co.”
“My dad sometimes throws parties for the company in our backyard. The hosts of Happy Camp often come over.”
“… you’re ting me, Yixing.”
Happy Camp was one of the most successful variety shows and even if Yifan didn’t want to admit it, he also watched it, mostly with Luhan and Tao, and most of the time he was enjoying it. The hosts were very popular and Yifan especially liked He Jiong, who wasn’t only a host for TV shows, but also a singer, actor, book author and also found the time to teach Arabic at the Beijing Foreign Studies University on a regular basis. Yixing shook his head no with an earnest expression.
“He was really eager to learn CSL with me, but I stayed away from these parties most of the time so he never had the chance.”
Yifan needed a moment to get himself back together and asked:
“Okay, is there anything else I may have to know?”
“Don’t go to the cellar, we’ve got corpses hidden in the freezers. But apart from that…”
Yifan ruffled Yixing’s hair and shook his head at the comment, while the other one snuggled into his chest and sighed. Right in that moment, Zhenzhen burst into the room.
“I swear to god, I need to move out!” she proclaimed and stopped short when she saw the two guys getting comfortable on the mattress.
Yixing sat up again and patted the space next to him.
“Please sit.”
“I’m not interrupting anything, right?” she made sure, but it was more half-assed, because she was already sitting down, which meant she clearly didn’t care if she was.
Yifan shook his head to indicate she really wasn’t and with a last look over her shoulder to the door, she said:
“Yixing, I think our mother’s menopausing. She is so moody recently, I can’t even… I don’t know how to handle her sometimes! One moment she’s really funny but god forbid you say one wrong word, she suddenly loathes you!”
“Yeaah, sounds like menopause, my mom’s just like that,” Yifan threw in and Zhenzhen shot him a thankful look.
“Thank you. People are telling me I’m overreacting while it’s HER who overreacts all the freaking time!”
“What happened, Zhenzhen?”
The girl sighed and seemed to try very hard to keep calm.
“I bought the wrong kind of cabbage for dinner. And apparently, I’ve ruined New Year’s with that.”
Yixing snorted with laughter, but Zhenzhen didn’t think it was funny.
“I bought EXACTLY what she told me, Yixing!”
“Yeaah, I believe you. So what now?”
“I have to go and buy new stuff.”
Zhenzhen crashed into her brother’s lap and whined.
“I don’t want to gooooooo!”
Yixing patted her head and asked:
“Do you want me to come with you?”
She shot back up again and beamed with excitement.
“Like we used to do?”
Yixing nodded and Zhenzhen let out an excited shrieking noise.
“We can show Yifan around! Aaaah, let me get my stuff!”
She hopped off the bed and stormed out of the room. Yixing turned to his boyfriend.
“Do you want to join us?”
“Sure! What else would I do?”
“I don’t know… chilling with my dad? Getting the Happy Cam host’s WeChat Accounts from him?”
“Could he hook me up with He Jiong??”
Yixing acted like he had to think hard and then responded:
“He Jiong is way too old for you. I’d rather you’d stay with me.”
“Heyyy, maybe I want to learn Arabic, okay?” Yifan shot back, joking.
“Let’s get ready,” was Yixing’s response before he got up.

Since Wangcheng was a rather small district, they went by foot to the next supermarket that claimed to be organic and super healthy. China often had problems with food safety, and there was a new health belief emerging, especially among the Chinese middle- and highclass. The three of them had a nice chat while they strolled through the food isles and Zhenzhen got the “right” stuff her mother needed to cook dinner. Suddenly, when they were standing in the isle for porridge and other stuff Chinese used to eat for breakfast, Zhenzhen’s eyes widened and she jumped behind Yifan.
“Ummm… what the…?”
“Don’t move, Yifan!” she whispered and even Yixing raised an eyebrow in question.
“See that guy who’s getting this disgusting pack of instant porridge?”
Yifan saw him and guessed he was just about Zhenzhen’s age. He seemed to have just hit puberty, with his limbs being slightly out of proportion because of a recent growth spurt. He was wearing glasses, and a school uniform from the nearest school where Yixing already had gone to. All in all he made a very pathetic impression and seemed like the classical loser stereotype who spent days and nights in his room to play online games and eat instant noodles.
“Okay, what’s with him?”
The guy left and Zhenzhen slowly stepped away from Yifan.
“He likes me.”
Yixing started to giggle but Zhenzhen shushed him immediately, out of fear her admirer could hear it.
“It’s not funny, okay? I have told him to stop more than once, but he wouldn’t stop! I get letters and presents all the time it’s so embarrassing!”
“Maybe you have to be more direct?” Yifan suggested and Zhenzhen answered:
“I already punched him once. I don’t know how I can get any more direct.”
Yixing seemed to have the time of his life and couldn’t hold back the laughter emerging his throat.
“Sounds like my sister, I’m proud of you!”
“Then just get an alibi-boyfriend or something,” Yifan went on and pushed Zhenzhen out of the isle to get to the vegetables, always checking for her admirer who had proceeded to the cashier.
“Yeaaaah, about that…”
Yixing looked at her in surprise.
“Oh god, Zhenzhen. Please don’t say you’re gay too. Mother wouldn’t survive this.”
Zhenzhen started to throw some carrots into the cart that Yixing was pushing.
“I’m confused, okay?! I mean, I’ve had crushes on guys, but… girls? My god. Yixing. They’re gorgeous!”
“Slow down, little girl,” Yifan threw in and prevented her from clearing the box with the orange vegetables, “First of all, I don’t think we need ten carrots. Second of all, just because you think girls are cute doesn’t automatically mean you’re gay. Maybe you’re also biual. Or something else. There isn’t just gay and not-gay. uality doesn’t work like this.”
“Listen to him, he should know.”
Zhenzhen looked at Yifan with big eyes and asked:
“So what, you’re not gay?”
“Naaah, I’m getting the best of both worlds.”
Yifan’s words seemed to process in Zhenzhen’s head and when she didn’t respond, Yifan said:
“You’re still young, Zhenzhen. You’re allowed to have doubts and all of this. Accept the way it works out and you’ll be fine. So, if you’re crushing on girls and boys, it doesn’t really matter. Love is love.”
Zhenzhen stared at him in awe and then her face lit up.
“Yixing, you need to marry that guy. I won’t accept anyone else as my brother-in-law.”
Yixing pushed the cart past them and he said:
“I guess we need to go to another country for that.”
“Did you know gay marriage is allowed in Canada?”
“Guess we need to go to Canada then,” Yixing mumbled and grabbed the cabbage.
“Yifan, you need to take me with you then. I won’t be able to handle a menopausing mother alone.”
Yifan threw an arm around her. She barely reached his chest and she was so delicate, Yifan was afraid to break her if he’d hug her too hard. Only now he realized she was nothing like Yixing, more like the total opposite of him. While Yixing looked more like his mother, Zhenzhen had gotten the facial features of her father. Only when they laughed or gestured you saw the resemblance between them. In some moments, she awfully reminded Yifan of how he used to be in her age. Loud, confused and frustrated.
“Sure, sister,” he joked.



A/N: Obviously, I made the whole family constellation up. I don't know when the next chapter will be updated, I'm trying to put it up on friday, but you never know what happens. I'm kind of struggling with the words right now (like, I have the whole thing plotted out in my head, I know exactly what's going to happen next, but then I'm like "HOW DO I DO WORDS OH MY GOD" - I think every author knows what I'm talking about lol).
THANK YOU for the subscriptions and the comments, they mean a lot to me! ♥