- Here. Let’s sit here. – Yonghwa said, pulling a chair so then Seo Jin could sit. Seeing that she was comfortable, he wore a sweet smile on his lips and went to serve himself in the buffet, as she waited for him. Her hands went all over the table’s surface and her feet were moving in the same way.

Seo Jin’s slightly reddish hair was until the height of her shoulders. Her nails were painted with a blue pool tone. She was wearing a red t-shirt and shorts that went until above her knees. In her feet, red flip-flops with a ribbon. While waiting for Yonghwa, her mind wandered and took her to different times.

Yonghwa took some time to return. In the meantime, the waitress had already left two bowls of water on the table, with a small bottle of mineral water. Through the window, it could be seen countless people waiting in line, waiting for a free place inside the restaurant. Even though many of them wished to make a meal there, that wasn’t exactly the most famous restaurant in the town, that one with a famous chef name. Quite the contrary. But there was something, maybe the fact that it was small, which made everyone comfortable and relaxed. And the food was of high quality. Homemade food.

- Did I take too long? – Yonghwa asked, excited, placing the dish on the table and sitting down.

- Oh, not even a little. – Seo Jin answered, returning the smile.

Yonghwa looked at her fondly and took a deep breath. His eyes roamed around the room and rested on a wall decorated with some portraits with random pictures. Some were just of groups, others were celebrities who had already visited the restaurant. Yonghwa smiled as he saw a picture of his together with the band on the wall and couldn’t hold a laugh. Seo Jin, intrigued, but also following him in laugher, asked.

- Why are you laughing? – She asked, taking her hand slowly to the bottle of water and pouring a little into the glass. Yonghwa lowered his head and his smile grew. His eyes lighted up and he, as one who remembers a happy memory, answered.

- Seo Jin, do you remember the first time you came here? – asked, also pouring water into his glass. Seo Jin, like avoiding choking, put down her glass and landed it on the table, while laughing.

-Where are we going? I said I wanted to go back to the dorm. I’m feeling tired! – Yonghwa said, a little impatiently. The day was full and he was awake for so much time already. Strangely, he felt exhausted in a way which he could not remember.

- Hyung, we will not take too long. Only a meal, ok? – Jungshin said sweetly, while the others looked apprehensive. Yonghwa was really busy lately with his schedule and now the band had little time to spend together, even sharing the same dormitory. Hoping to help his Hyung to relax a little, Jungshin, Minhyuk and Jonghyun, along with two managers, invited Yonghwa to dine. But it did not seem to be a good idea.

- Please, I’m with such a horrible headache. Can’t we have dinner together another day? – Yonghwa tried to convince his brothers, without success.

- In a next time we will let you rest. – Minhyuk answered. – We missed you, Hyung… - Minhyuk tried to explain.

- Ok. Ok. – Yonghwa said, defeated. He wasn’t in a bad mood, despite being very tired and with a pain all over his body. In fact, he would feel so much worse if he let his fellows down. So he forced himself to go, feeding his mind with thoughts like how much that could be good to him.

Once the van stopped in front of the restaurant, Yonghwa was sure that it had been a bad idea. Timid screams could be heard everywhere. Fans. Somehow, in a way that Yonghwa was already suspicious about, the fans knew every step of the them. Yonghwa looked at the manager, who looked away and signaled with his hands in a way as he was saying that he didn’t know how that was possible. Yonghwa took a deep breath. Too deep.  He loved the fans. But today was one of the days that he would rather be invisible.

- Oh my…! So many fans! How did they know that we would come here? – Jungshin exclaimed.

- Maybe they didn’t. Just deduced. – Jonghyun said, impressed by what he was seeing.

- And they deduced right. With this ability they could even predict the end of the world – Minhyuk joined them, looking impressed through the window. Yonghwa put sunglasses, followed by a mask. As soon as he started to get ready to leave he van, one of the managers stopped him.

- I just talked with the owner of the place. Let’s go in using a backdoor of the side building. They are connected and we will be able to access the restaurant without having to go through the fans.

Yonghwa thanked mentally the manager he had. Just this once. Only this time he didn’t want to be recognized, even though he knew it would be almost impossible.

The van turned around and stopped in front of the building next door. The six came down and walked quietly, without calling attention, until the entrance of what it looked to be a hotel. While one of the managers was communicating a receptionist in the hall, the other walked with the four boys until the elevator.

- What is this adrenaline? Almost seems like we are doing something forbidden. – Minhyuk said, laughing.

- It’s part of your life. The tension duplicates when you guys don’t want to be seen. – Said the manager worried, looking in all directions, making sure that there was nobody.

As the door closed, everyone breathed with a sigh of relief.

- Jun Tae, which floor? – Yonghwa asked, reaching out his arm to press the number.

-Oh, it’s 5th – replied the manager, leading one of his hands to the head. He looked as tense as the others.

The elevator was stopped, with the door closed, and when Yonghwa pressed the button to go up, what happened was the opposite. The door opened. Wondering why, Yonghwa pressed the button one more time, without bothering to look at the door. He was impatient and just wanted to get to the restaurant. When the door was going to close again, a hand held it.

- Hyung, wait! – Minhyuk exclaimed – She wants to get in… - explained, making Yonghwa to pay attention to what he was doing. He was so tired that hardily realized that someone also wanted to use the elevator. Everybody was shocked.

- Jwesonghamnida – the lady apologized, bowing and entering quickly. She stood right next to Yonghwa and at the same speed as she entered, she pressed the button with the number 5.

The door finally closed.

No one said anything. No one even seemed to be breathing. Perhaps of the fear of being recognized, all the guys were frozen in the hope of trying to be invisible. All of them, but Yonghwa. His eyes went down, trying to examine discreetly the young lady who was at his side. She was a little shorter than he. Her hair was slightly reddish, wavy and long. Her skin was pale and she was dressing a dress with a skin color, with long sleeves and embroidered details with a white lace. A purse not so big was hanging on the left side of her shoulder. She doesn’t seem to be a fan. Seeing the possibility, Yonghwa left his shoulders drop, relieved. The others realized his reaction and relaxed as well.

- Hey, so, what are you going to eat? – Minhyuk asked Jungshin, while Jonghyun was using his phone.

- Italian pasta! I’m starving! – exclaimed to his friend.

Yonghwa, driven once more by curiosity, looked to his side, but at this time not so discretely as the first. He got surprised to realize that the lady was also looking at him. She dropped her head a little to the left and smiled. Yonghwa swallowed. She was beautiful.

He seemed to be getting a remedy. He was no longer feeling pain or even feeling discomfort. The simple smile of the lady made him forget for some seconds all his concerns. When the door opened, the girl was the first one to leave, making the guys losing the sight of her. Yonghwa finally froze, while the others commented unbounded.

- Ya, did you see? How beautiful she was! – Jonghyun said, to the surprise of everybody.

- Oh? Weren’t you using your phone? – Jungshin asked, laughing.

- Still, do you guys really think that I don’t pay attention to what’s happening around me? – Jonghyun answered, making everyone laugh on their way out of the elevator. Yonghwa allowed himself to laugh too, but for a different reason. He was caught off guard with such a beautiful smile.

--

The dinner went well, without any interruption. The fans that were outside started to leave the place in groups because of the hour. The band and the managers talked and ate a lot. Everything was quiet. Only the chef, the restaurant’s owner, recognized them, and in the end of the dinner, he asked for a picture to put in on the wall.

- Sorry for being bothering you guys, but would you accept taking a picture with me? I want to decorate the wall with a picture of everybody that have already come here. Those who wish, of course. We have even people that come from other countries that visit here.

- Oh, really? So nice! It would be amazing. Of course we’ll take one with you. – Jonghyun said, seeing that Yonghwa agreed with it too.

- Great! – exclaimed, putting his chef’s hat and calling a waiter. The guy made a negative sign and the chef, not understanding, called. – Seo Jin! Seo Jin! Ya! Come here! I need a picture!

- Neee! – the girl answered, coming from the direction of the kitchen. Seo Jin came running in a hurry, holding a professional camera. Everybody opened their mouths in amazement, shocked, and Yonghwa found himself equally surprised. The smile girl! – Good night! – she greeted everyone politely, bowing.

- Seo Jin, we can’t take their time. These guests are very special. Take a picture quickly, yes? – asked the chef, already setting between the six of them.

Seo Jin was holding the cutlery gently and ‘touched’ the food, sticking and leading up to the mouth. Every action was really slowly. Sometimes Yonghwa watched her eating, sometimes he trying to eat his own food. His hair was now quite gray, even though he didn’t have even 80 years old. He was just 52 and was still as beautiful as he was when younger. He didn’t appear to have the age he was, if it weren’t for the gray hair accusing him.

- French fries? – Seo Jin asked, smiling.

- Jungshin! Junghin! Look here! – one fan said while holding a huge camera, as she followed him toward the check in. The airport stopped to see which celebrity was there at that time, while a group of admires followed the band.

Basically, there were five fans very close to each member, doing the same. Some just remained in silent while followed them taking pictures. Others delivered some gifts and tried to communicate. The guys accepted the gifts and replied the fans with a “thank you”. Once they entered in the departure lounge, they took off their masks.

- When is Hyung going to arrive? – Minhyuk asked to Jonghyun.

- As soon as he leaves the drama shooting. – Jonghyun answered, sitting in the waiting chair.

--

- Just more this... And... Ready! - Yonghwa said, closing the suitcase. He had insisted that he needed to go home before catching the flight that would take them to Japan. - Yes, I know. I am leaving now. I will not miss the flight, calm down. - Yonghwa said, while using his phone. His manager was waiting downstairs, in the car. Yonghwa closed the entire stuffed suitcase and quickly took the stairs. When he stopped in front of the building, he had the feeling of being watched. He looked around, but found no one. The street was empty and the condo as well. - Strange. - He said, getting into the car and following to the airport.

It wasn’t a unique feeling. It always seemed to have someone with him in these places. But never finding anyone, he thought he was staying with persecution mania because of the fans.

The flight did not take even an hour.  Arriving in Osaka, the group headed straight to the Arena to do the sound check. While testing his microphone, again Yonghwa had the same feeling that had before leaving home. He chose to ignore it. He kept playing.

--

The show went well and as soon as it was over, Yonghwa decided to return to the hotel. He ran out of the shoot and had not slept yet. He took the keys of the room with the manager, politely declined the dinner request of the brothers, and went to the hotel. Yonghwa walked quickly to the elevator and, seeing that it was closing, he reached his hand to the door to avoid it to close. Bowed apologetically and entered, with his head down. He was going to press the 5th floor button, but it was already pressed. He felt a strange sensation, as if he had already seen this before, but in a different way. Then he realized better that he was not alone.

The door closed when Yonghwa looked to the side.

- Oh! – exclaimed – No! – He said in surprise, finding the smile girl again.

- Good evening – she bowed, politely, forcing him to do the same.

- Good evening. – Said, insecure - You ...? What are you doing  here? – He asked curiously.

- I'm here for work. – Replied lively – And you? – asked with the same curiosity.

 Yonghwa found it strange. She did not know who he was? And also, she did not seem to be a fan. He took a deep breath and tried to act normally without alarming.

- I'm working too. – He responded, forcing the throat.

- Oh, nice! – Seo Jin exclaimed.

The door opened and both of them took the first step at a time. They looked at themselves curiously, surprised by going to the same floor. Yonghwa motioned that she could go first. Seo Jin thanked.

- Are you staying here? – Yonghwa asked, deducting that at least she should be a little rich. The hotel where they were staying was not cheap at all.

- Yes, I am. Apparently you too. – She replied, leaving him speechless.

- Oh... Yes...

- My company pays the expenses. I mean, my boss. – Smiled, making him even more lost.

- Mine too. – He said, following her. They both laughed. – What do you do for work? – He said, way more curious about her.

- Photograph. I’m a photographer.

- Wow! – Yonghwa said, finding that the girl's eyes were of a light brown tone, but also realizing that he was expressing himself about the profession of the girl.

They continued walking through the corridor, talking shyly, without realizing that they were close to the rooms.

- My friend loves photographs. He would love to meet you... - Yonghwa said, interrupting his own speech to remember Jungshin. In a way, he had already seen her.

- Really? Awesome! – Seo Jin said smiled, putting some of her hair behind her ear – You are very friendly... – hesitated – I'm sorry, I don’t even know your name. I think we didn’t even introduce ourselves. My name is Seo Jin. Kim Seo Jin – said, holding out her hands towards Yonghwa. Surprised and unsure about how to react , he decided to be sincere.

- My name is Yonghwa. – Answered.

- Wow! It's a beautiful name! – She said, smiling again.

Both stood shaking hands like crazy, standing in front of Seo Jin’s room.

- You ... Do you want to go in? I have my portfolio inside... I can show you some of my works. – she said, inviting him.

Yonghwa hesitated a little. This was far from sounding like a good idea, but he felt no threat from her. He saw no evil. Ignoring the risks that this action could bring, Yonghwa consented.

- Of course. If it’s not a bother... – Yonghwa replied, finding himself strangely connected to girl.

That night, they spoke until late about things that went far beyond their work.

- I give my best to show the beauty of the things to the people. It doesn’t matter if it’s a portrait, a landscape, a picture of an animal, there is something inspiring in this world. And our eyes are the door to it. We’re very blessed for that. – Seo Jin explained, sliding her hands over the pictures that were coloring the pages of her black portfolio.

- Your perception is very unique. – Yonghwa stared at the image of a young girl wearing colorful costumes, while carrying a child on her back.

- We do not know who these people are. Actually, we do not know even the ones that live close to us. What they show to us do not necessarily says what they really are. But it's interesting to observe. I love it. It’s my favorite actitivity. To stop and observe everything.  You know, what really matters… It’s our happiness. It makes everything lighter and colorful. – Seo Jin explained, holding completely Yonghwa’s attention.

He never had such a frank conversation and, in a way, so intimate with someone. And all this with a woman. Yonghwa had another way of expressing the reality he saw. He did it through the music. He was an artist, a musician. But she was also an artist. She didn’t use her voice to express herself, but her own eyes, that together with a device, like a microphone, gave life to what she sees wherever she went. Yonghwa felt comfortable and found himself with a huge desire to stay there. He seemed to levitate and all the suffering that happened related to his work were now so far away.

Time passed. Hours passed. And Yonghwa remained there without realizing it. If it wasn’t for Seo Jin getting distract, maybe the two of them had remained there until dawn.

- Oh my God! Look at the time! Forgive me! – Seo Jin exclaimed. She began to collect the cups and some foods that were on the table, all very quickly. When she stood up to bring everything to the kitchen, she had her arm held by Yonghwa.

- Seo Jin-sshi – stopped – Can I… Come back? – he asked embarrassed, unsure about how she would react when hearing it.

There was something Yonghwa did not understand. What was this feeling of peace and comfort he was feeling? What held his attention so much in Seo Jin? He had no idea, but he was willing to find out.

Yonghwa left Seo Jin’s room late that night. He left alone, but he was full of thoughts that were occupying his mind. He would see her again. He would see her until discover what he was experiencing.

The days were passing by and with them the seasons were changing. Yonghwa looked for Seo Jin at least once a week and whenever they met, long talks and games, which for many would seem strange, happened. One day, Seo Jin was waiting for him with a large sheet stretched on the wall, with several buckets of paint on the floor. And both of them spent the afternoon throwing the colors on the walls, an abstract art, that doesn’t make any sense. Other time, ballons with gas were all over the place, coloring the environment. Yonghwa even had fun changing his voice with the helium, just to see Seo Jin laugh. She, in return, taught some dances to Yonghwa, which he always ended on the floor, saying  that dance was definitely not his jam. Both shared a true companionship relationship. They were friends… Much closer than brothers.

- One day… Will you go see me sing? – Yonghwa asked Seo Jin, before leaving her house.

- I would love to! – she exclaimed, happily. Yonghwa’s eyes shinned to see her smile once more. He stepped forward and embraced her with so much affection.

- Thank you. Thank you, Seo Jin. – he said looking at her with love, kissing her forehead gentely.

The relationship between them was really balanced. Although both wanted it to become something more, no one of them had the courage to take the first step. Insecurity and especially the fear of losing what they already had, was what most weighed their hearts.

 --

The days of Yonghwa were getting even fuller, and the few hours that they had to talk were becoming increasingly scarce. Yonghwa had no time even to see his family and was getting even more tired. The agency never charged him so much and Yonghwa began to forget how to live for himself.

Meanwhile, the great freedom’s lover declined to charge Yonghwa more that the life was charging him. She gave wings to the love she felt and allowed herself to live alone, one day at a time. And so the years passed.

---

- SEO JIN! – Yonghwa shouted, desperately. Seo Jin was sitting in a bench in a known town square, and only lowered her head, smiling. – I knew it was you! – Yonghwa went to her quickly and stood before her. He had no action. – I saw the time passing and so many things changed… But I’ll never forgive myself. Never! – Tears started falling down his face. He tried to take his hands to her face, but lost his strength and fell in his knees on the floor. He tried to regain his strength, but he couldn’t. He was feeling so bad that he thought he would not endure. But remembering that So Jin was right in front of him, after so many years, he stood up and finally brought his hands uo to her face, with affection.

- I’ll never forget myself for leaving you – He said once more – Everything that happened to you! – he said angrily, wishing be on her place instead.

- You don’t need to be like that. – Seo Jin answered gentely, smiling as always. – You don’t need to be perfect, Yonghwa. – she said, calling his attention. – You fought for your art. For your music. And you lived intensely. – She continued smiling, while Yonghwa was unconfirmed.

- But I let a great love go…– Answered, sadly.

- Great loves never go… Because they never left. – Seo Jin continued, smiling. Even in a condition like that, how could she still smile? And worse, in the same way that she smiled so many years ago.

Yonghwa knew that what she was saying was true. He knew that his place was by Seo Jin’s side. From the very first moment when the met. But he let her go. It was his choice. He became an artist that achieved all that an artist could ever desire in his musical career, but his personal life was totally the opposite. He got married, had a child, and as much as he loved his family, he could not find in them what he found in Seo Jin.

Now with a grown child and with his wife tired to fight for a love that was never hers, Yonghwa divorced and, far from the spotlight, he sought for Seo Jin all over the country. Until he found her where he would never imagine. In Busan.

Life did not spare him even a little bit. And certainly, Seo Jin faced a lot alone.

At 26, five years later of seeing Yonghwa for the last time, Seo Jin was diagnosed with a disease that cost her vision. So she had to leave the capital to take a more quiet life elsewhere, far from so many dangers. The disease, hereditary, cost the vision of many integrants of her family. Now, with 48 years old and already adapted to her new life style, Seo Jin lives in silence, surviving with the help of her ex boss.

When he saw her from afar reading a book, Yonghwa tought he was mistaken. She could not be blind. But seeing her hands gliding over white sheets of a book, Yonghwa was certain. He felt a lump in his troat and his head started to spin. The young lady that he had known, the one with such a unique view of the world, was now without her main doors to it. He couldn’t hold himself.  Yonghwa shouted the name of Seo Jin with all the frustration and hurt that he was feeling all these years. For not being frank, honest with her, for not having said that he wanted to stay at her side when he could. For not having built a family with her, but mostly, for not being by her side when she needed the most.

- Please, forgive me. I beg you to forgive me. – Yonghwa was sobbing while hugging her. – I promise I’ll never leave you again.

A tear bordered Seo Jin’s eyes against her will. She did not want to cry. Deep down she sought ways to accept what had happened, but she missed Yonghwa so much. Missed his companionship, their conversations. Missed that person to share all the weight that she went through.

- Don’t say nonsense. – answered Seo Jin, hugging him fondly.

The time seemed to have stopped again. That moment seemed one of the most beautiful photographs that Seo Jin had taken. The colors were vivid and the location spoke for itself. Seo Jin didn’t want anything in her life anymore. Even her vision. She could even die at that moment, that she would be immensely happy. The truth is that she never waited for Yonghwa. She never fed hopes. She just let it goo, with honestly. She chose not to marry or have children. She chose a solitary life, but with a meaning. She was always there when she could, next to him, in the concerts that Yonghwa performed. Her love was bigger than anything else. Bigger than the difficulties she had faced. Bigger than the disease. Bigger that their memories together. Bigger than her own existence.

- Yonghwa... – Seo Jin whispered, taking her hands to Yonghwa’s face. He helped her, resting his hand on hers. – In my heart… Know that in my heart… The most important and precious place of my being… There you always remained. – She said, making a shy tear fall from Yonghwa’s face again. A thin tear. A crystalline tear. A tear that Seo Jin could not see, but could feel. Just like her love for him.

Yonghwa hugged her even more tightly and touched her hair softly. After a short time, Yonghwa let her, holding her warm hands. When he looked at Seo Jin’s face, he understood everything. That thing he always tried to understand from the beginning.

A smile.

That smile.

A smile that light up his mind and his heart.

A smile that continued the same, even with the passage of so many years.

Yonghwa found something way better than seeing Seo Jin’s smile. That one that he loves so much.

There was something that made him fell even  happier, complete and free.

And it was the fact that he was the reason of Seo Jin’s smiles.

The fact that he makes her smile.