i’m a fool and you’re silly.

Jongin opened his eyes when he heard the sound of door open. Sparing a glance at his clock on his nightstand, it said 3 AM, and Jongin knew who the one coming in this hour was.

“Junmyeon,” Jongin called in a raspy voice.

“Hello, Jongin,” Without looking at the other, the one named Junmyeon sat on Jongin’s bed edge, massaging his own shoulder. “I thought you were still sleeping.”

“I was awakened because of you,” It sounded like a grumble. Jongin sat up lazily and hugged the smaller male from behind. Kissing the joint of Junmyeon’s neck and shoulder, Jongin scrunched his nose. “ it, Myeon, you smell awful.”

Junmyeon tilted his head to kiss Jongin on his cheek. “Blame that fat uncle who used me. I couldn’t stand his perfume myself.”  Junmyeon chuckled tiredly. He leaned into Jongin’s arms, enjoying the warmth that radiated from Jongin’s body.

“I can’t believe you let him you. If I were you, I’d die first smelling this horrible scent before he could shove his inside me.”

Junmyeon chuckled as he tilted his head to kiss Jongin on the guy’s cheek. “I’m hungry.” he said, eyes twinkling cutely.

“He didn’t even let you eat?!” Jongin rolled his eyes as he got up from the bed and walked outside to the kitchen. “Please don’t tell me I’m the one who treated you like a princess in our first night!”

“You are, you are~” Junmyeon cooed. “I want to shower. Can I borrow your towel and shirt, Sir?”

Jongin laughed lightly, hands busy preparing meals for Junmyeon. “Come on, like you ever asked before.”

“Hmm, I sound like a bad man.”

“You are.”

Chuckling more, Junmyeon opened Jongin’s wardrobe and pulled a pair of shirt and sweatpants—they were the one Junmyeon often used because they were the smallest clothes Jongin had—and went to the bathroom.

He needed to quickly get rid of the awful smell that lingered on his body.

♦♦♦

Jongin couldn’t explain what his relationship with Junmyeon was. It wasn’t like it was complicated; it was just… he couldn’t find the right word to explain what his role in Junmyeon’s life was.

Their first meeting was three years ago. Jongin was the CEO of this famous company—his family’s company, to be exact—bored and desperate of his monotone life. And Junmyeon was this freaking beautiful he could find in the city. Jongin was needy and Junmyeon could give him what he wanted. Their first meeting was as simple as that.

Jongin never expected he would bump into Junmyeon’s shoulder again. It was only a one night stand—sure, why did he have to have another night with one same if he could get the more beautiful ones? Jongin never expected Junmyeon would come at sight after their first night, too, but time decided that they needed to meet again.

Jongin couldn’t help but laugh to have Junmyeon in his arms for a second time, and Junmyeon couldn’t help but think that this might be a destiny—a cruel, yet funny destiny time had for them both.

Jongin didn’t know when it started, but he let Junmyeon sneak into his fancy apartment every night, only to get a few hours of sleep. They didn’t have anymore—only kissing here and there, or hugging or snuggling until Junmyeon fell asleep—but Jongin didn’t mind it. He didn’t know when it started, but he let Junmyeon come every night, with different scents lingering on his body, and they would cuddle until it was time for them to go back to their routines.

Jongin didn’t know why, but it just felt right.

And Jongin still didn’t know what his relationship with Junmyeon was. Maybe he was Junmyeon’s guardian. Maybe he just simply had this role to protect Junmyeon under his wings.

♦♦♦

“There was this woman asking me to marry her,” Junmyeon said as he snuggled closer to Jongin’s chest. “She said she will divorce his husband if I accept her.”

“Don’t say you accepted her offer.” Jongin looked at the man in his embrace. It sounded crazy, but Junmyeon was crazy enough to do it.

“She’s not my type.” The thin lips of Junmyeon stretched into a grin. “I don’t like aggressive women. They scare me, you know.”

“I don’t want to wonder how wild she is in bed.”

“I hope I could stop seeing her, but she’s my regular.”

“She’s a er.”

“With a lot of money, yes.”

Jongin didn’t know why he felt a bit irritated. Putting his weight on his elbow, he looked at Junmyeon in annoyance. “I have a lot of money, too,” he said, tone rather jealous. “You can quit from your job and stay here with me. I won’t let you pay for anything.”

Junmyeon blinked for a couple times before laughing. “You know it’s not how our relationship works,” said the petite male. He pulled Jongin by his nape to kiss Jongin’s plump lips softly. “I don’t want to be a bother. You letting me in every night is enough… but, well, thank you for inviting me. It sounds promising, but no, thanks.”

The bronze-skinned male locked his gaze onto Junmyeon’s face before brushing his lips against Junmyeon’s forehead. “How do you think our relationship works, then?” he asked quietly.

“Like this,” Sneaking arms around Jongin’s shoulders, Junmyeon hugged the taller male closer. He smiled as Jongin’s scent filled his nostrils—Jongin always smelled like coffee. “I hugging you like this and feeling safe whenever we’re together is how our relationship works.”

Jongin always hoped it was enough. In the beginning, he felt that it was enough, being Junmyeon’s guardian, but now it started hurting him.

Jongin didn’t want to tell Junmyeon that he wanted more. Junmyeon worshipped their ‘pure’ relationship so much. Junmyeon thought of Jongin as the one who would protect him; the one he could lean on. Junmyeon loved Jongin for that reason. That was how Junmyeon loved Jongin.

But, Jongin loved Junmyeon in a different way.

Jongin didn’t know when his feeling started growing for Junmyeon. He was too immersed of taking care of Junmyeon, giving Junmyeon safe and comfortable feelings. He didn’t realize that his feeling for Junmyeon had turned into another direction.

He didn’t think he would let Junmyeon know, though.

♦♦♦

Junmyeon rarely had new customer. His clients loved him so much, so they always came back to him. Junmyeon didn’t need to look for someone who wanted to him anymore, like what he did back then, when he first met Jongin.

But, tonight, Junmyeon came with a different story.

“A really handsome man ed me tonight.”

Jongin could see Junmyeon’s eyes sparkling when he spoke.

“That’s good for you,” said the taller. He sniffed Junmyeon’s neck, sensing a new fragrance that was like a scent of spring. “He smelled good. Not bad.”

Junmyeon, who was lying on his stomach, smiled and nodded cheerfully. His chin was resting on his palms as he closed his eyes, enjoying Jongin’s fingers his hair. “He was really handsome—or beautiful? I don’t know, maybe both. He was so gentle, too, just like you. Or maybe he was even gentler than you.”

“Now you sound like a girl in love.” Jongin sighed and pulled Junmyeon into his arms. “I’m telling you, Junmyeon, he’s not a good guy for you to be with. Good guys won’t go down the street to pick someone to be ed. He’s just a crazy bastard, just like your other customers.”

“You picked me up from the street to me,” Junmyeon tilted his head. “So you just said that you’re not a good guy as well?”

“I’m a different matter,” Jongin cleared his throat. “Besides, you’re not falling in love with me, so it’s okay for you to be with me.”

“Now you sound like a father who doesn’t want someone to take away his daughter.”

Jongin wasn’t a father or something like that, but he did not want someone to take his Junmyeon away.

“Yes. Be nice to your father, kid.”

Junmyeon cackled because of Jongin’s old-man-version voice. “You’re weird, Jongin.”

“I’m sorry, my bad.”

Jongin looked closely at Junmyeon whose eyes started closing. Junmyeon yawned as he shifted closer to Jongin’s warmth. He looked tired as usual, but his expression was brighter than the other nights. It made Jongin jealous because he knew the one who brought a little light on Junmyeon’s face wasn’t him.

Jongin felt like punching whoever it was who tried to steal Junmyeon from him.

♦♦♦

Lunch time was so fancy, especially when you didn’t have time to take breakfast. Jongin sighed in relief when it was time for lunch. His stomach was growling like a hungry monster since he stepped into the office, and hell, he needed a full plate of rice right now.

Headed to his favorite restaurant where he usually came for lunch—it wasn’t far from the company, so Jongin could just walk there—Jongin’s mind flew to the beautiful man named Junmyeon. They almost never met in days and Jongin always wondered what Junmyeon was doing when the sun was still high. Was he an employee? Or maybe he worked at some bookstore? Or maybe he was a waiter in a café or restaurant? Jongin always wondered about it, yet he never asked Junmyeon. He didn’t want to interfere with Junmyeon’s personal life.

Jongin was about to enter the restaurant he was heading to when a familiar figure was caught in his eyes. “Speak of the devil,” he muttered to himself. Jongin was standing in front of the building for a while, looking closely at Junmyeon, who was walking side-by-side with someone whom Jongin didn’t know. It was a handsome man, or beautiful, or maybe both, Jongin couldn’t decide—

Oh, wait.

A week ago Junmyeon said that he met this handsome man, or beautiful, or maybe both… Jongin sighed, knowing that he finally saw the man who made Junmyeon’s night brighter. Looking closer at the two people, Jongin absentmindedly frowned when he saw the man curling his arm around Junmyeon’s waist.

And Junmyeon didn’t seem to mind it.

And Junmyeon looked happy.

And the man looked happy, too.

There was a pang in Jongin’s heart.

Jongin always wished that he could be the one who could always bring smile into Junmyeon’s beautiful face, and it hurt him to see Junmyeon smiling, but not for him.

♦♦♦

Junmyeon had the spring fragrance all over his body again tonight.

Jongin couldn’t even ask about it, though.

The lithe-figured man had driven to sleep long ago, but Jongin’s eyes were still wide opened. He stared at the man in his arms, admiring Junmyeon’s beautiful face. Junmyeon was so angelic, sleeping like a child who knew nothing about impure things. Jongin the smooth cheek gently, secretly hoping he could see this sleeping face every night for the rest of his life.

Jongin was so afraid that Junmyeon would stop coming to his place. Jongin was so afraid that Junmyeon would leave him. Jongin was afraid that he wouldn’t meet Junmyeon anymore.

Jongin was so afraid, but he couldn’t do anything.

Tightening his embrace around Junmyeon, Jongin wished the day wouldn’t come anytime soon.

♦♦♦

“You seem so quiet nowadays.”

Three weeks after seeing Junmyeon smiling happily with someone else, Jongin should admit that he turned a bit lifeless, and he couldn’t blame Sehun, his very best friend, for noticing it.

“Quiet?” Jongin mumbled as he took another shot of blue gin. They were sitting at the bar of a famous nightclub right now, relaxing after going through a hectic day.

“Yeah, quiet. What’s going on? Are you having a major broken heart?”

Jongin scoffed. Broken heart? Yes, broken heart. “I don’t think so.” he lied.

“You just scoffed.”

“Scoffing doesn’t mean anything, Sehun.”

“You’re scoffing when you’re lying. And that,” Sehun pointed at the empty shot, “is your umpteenth shot for tonight. You’re even half drunk now.”

The bronze-skinned man sighed heavily. “We’re not talking about it now, okay?” he said. “We’re here to forget our ing problematic lives, not to discuss them.”

“Sure, dude,” Sehun chuckled. “I was just wondering what’s wrong. You look like every day and it’s like… bothering everyone who sees you.”

“I’ll wear mask and hood tomorrow, so no one can see my face.”

“That’s even worse.” Sehun shook his head as he fished his pants pocket and pulled out his phone since the device was ringing. “Oh, wait. It’s my friend.”

“I thought you didn’t have any friends but me.”

“He’s not as close as you, so don’t be so jelly.”

Jongin let Sehun slide away to pick up the phone call as he, himself, drowned back to the thoughts about his miserable love life.

Since the day when Junmyeon was seen with the beautifully handsome man, Jongin rarely smelled any scents beside the spring-liked fragrance on Junmyeon’s body. Junmyeon looked happier, and Jongin was sorry that he couldn’t be as happy as Junmyeon. Junmyeon always brought various stories about the man whose, somehow, name was never mentioned—Junmyeon chose not to tell Jongin the spring boy’s name, which was a good thing because if Junmyeon told him, he might’ve ordered someone to look for and vanish the man—and the sparks in Junmyeon’s eyes every time he talked about the man were killing Jongin.

He held Junmyeon’s body every night, but Junmyeon felt so far from him…

“Jongin.”

Sehun’s voice threw Jongin back to reality.

“Huh?”

“I didn’t tell you before, but I invited my friend to join us.”

Jongin looked at Sehun, then the man who was standing behind his best friend. He took a while to scan Sehun’s friend’s face, and he wondered why the face was familiar, as though he had seen it somewhere before…

Goddamn it.

“I’m sorry, he’s a bit drunk,” Sehun spoke to his friend. “This is Jongin, my friend since college and, unfortunately, the devil CEO in my company. And Jongin, this is Luhan. He was my neighbor before he was going back to China years ago. And this is Luhan’s boyfriend… Jongin? Jongin—, please don’t tell me you’re that drunk.”

No, Jongin wasn’t that drunk. He was sober enough to realize who Luhan’s boyfriend was.

♦♦♦

“Are you drunk?” Junmyeon leaned his back into the couch as he asked Jongin quietly. Luhan was busy talking with Sehun, forgetting that there were two awkward guys sitting side-by-side.

“I’m drunk enough to your little in front of your boyfriend.” Jongin grumbled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you’re going out with him.”

“I thought you didn’t want to interfere with my personal life.”

Jongin grunted more. His head was pounding painfully and the urge to rip Luhan’s handsome face into two parts made his situation even worse.

“Since when?”

“What?”

“Since when did you start dating him?”

Junmyeon pursed his lips, making Jongin want to kiss those lips badly. “I don’t know. I’m not sure that we’re dating because we haven’t decided to be lovers.” he shrugged. “I can’t say that he’s my boyfriend; it’s just a friendly excuse because we don’t know what we are.”

“Told you he’s just a crazy bastard…” Sighing, Jongin brushing his fingers against Junmyeon’s hand, but Junmyeon quickly pulled his hand away.

“Wouldn’t it be awkward if they found out about our relationship?” Junmyeon kept is voice low. “Please, Jongin. I don’t want him to know about us.”

Jongin’s heart throbbed painfully.

♦♦♦

“Jongin…”

Jongin was still awake, but he didn’t respond to Junmyeon’s call. He just lay on the side of his body, back facing Junmyeon. It was a few days after they last met in the bar, and Jongin was surprised that Junmyeon still came at his place. He kept his thoughts about Junmyeon having a good time with Luhan and he wouldn’t ever show up anymore.

“Jongin, it’s only ten. It’s too early to go to sleep.”

Jongin kept his eyes closed. He felt Junmyeon sitting on the edge of his bed; he shivered slightly when Junmyeon’s fingers his hair gently, but he didn’t say anything.

“Are you mad at me, Jongin? Is it because I didn’t tell you anything about Luhan?” Now Junmyeon lay down behind Jongin, chin resting on Jongin’s forearm. “I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t know how to start. I didn’t even know what happened back then. Luhan… Luhan was so kind. He asked me to meet him a week after we first met and… and things slowly turned to be like what they are now.”

“What’s the difference between Luhan and me?” Finally Jongin spoke up. “What makes him so special to you?”

“He loves me.” Junmyeon shifted closer as he nuzzled his nose into Jongin’s neck. “He confessed to me, and I… I want to love him. I haven’t said yes to him, but I’ll think about it. I want to love someone who loves me, Jongin.”

“What if I say now that I love you, Junmyeon?”

Uncomfortably silence filled the room. Junmyeon moved away from Jongin, but Jongin knew the other man was staring at his back.

“What do you mean…?” Junmyeon asked quietly.

Jongin heaved a shaky breath. He slowly got up and faced Junmyeon. He wanted to throw his arms around Junmyeon when he saw how hurt and confused Junmyeon’s expression was, but he had to hold it.

“You heard me right,” said the tan guy. “I love you. I’ll let you go.”

“You’ll… let me go.”

Jongin nodded slowly.

“Yes. I’ll let you go.”

♦♦♦

Jongin remembered he asked Junmyeon to stay for the last time. Jongin remembered he spooned Junmyeon’s body. Jongin remembered how Junmyeon’s vanilla scent filled his nostrils. Jongin remembered how warm Junmyeon was.

Jongin remembered how Junmyeon left his apartment, while he was pretending to still sleep.

Jongin didn’t want Junmyeon to go. Jongin never wanted to make him leave. Jongin wanted Junmyeon to stay. Jongin wanted to embrace him, enjoying his warmth. Jongin wanted to be with Junmyeon for the rest of his life.

But Jongin didn’t try to hold him.  Jongin didn’t want to cage one’s freedom. If Junmyeon wanted to be with Luhan, then Jongin would let him. If Junmyeon was happy with Luhan, Jongin would back up.

Jongin knew Junmyeon was happy with Luhan.

Holding the shirt Junmyeon used to wear close to his chest, Jongin let the pain engulf him alive.

♦♦♦

Every night without Junmyeon was a painful one. Jongin didn’t know when he would get used to it, but it was still painful. Sometimes he regretted it. Sometimes he regretted why he let go of Junmyeon. Sometimes he regretted why he didn’t fight for Junmyeon. However, every time the memory of how Junmyeon smiled happily beside Luhan broke through his mind, Jongin couldn’t help but bury his regrets deeply inside.

Junmyeon was happy was the most important thing. Junmyeon was with the one who could make him happy to the fullest was the most important thing. Jongin didn’t want to be selfish.

“Look at me in the eyes and tell me you’re far from okay.” Sehun said after getting so sick of Jongin’s behavior.

“I’m okay.” Jongin murmured, eyes locking on his laptop screen.

“You are not.” Sehun ruffled his own hair out of desperation. “You’re working like a madman. You’re home now and still working! You need to rest, Jongin.”

“And you need to shut up, Sehun.”

Sehun sighed, knowing how stubborn his friend was. “Hey, we’ve known each other for a long time. At least tell me what’s going on here.”

“What’s going on here is I’m working and my very, very best friend keeps trying to distract me.” Jongin replied coldly, fingers busy typing on the keyboard.

“You’re no fun.” Sehun huffed in annoyance. “Come on, dude. Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

Heaving a long sigh, Jongin left his desk and sat with Sehun on the edge of his bed. “Say, if you love someone, but this someone has had someone who can make him happy for the eternity, what will you do?”

“So this is all about love,” A smirk appeared on Sehun’s face.

“Just answer it, damn it.” Jongin rolled his eyes.

“Easy, man,” Sehun chuckled. “Well… if I were you, I’d tell this someone that I love them, of course.”

“I did.”

“And then?”

“And I said I’d let him go.”

“Goodness, how could you be so dumb again?”

Sometimes Jongin really wanted to hit Sehun’s face for being an insensitive friend. “I told you he already has someone with him. The last time I checked, he was so happy with… that guy,”

“So he wasn’t happy when he was with you?”

Now Jongin couldn’t answer easily. “I… don’t know. He was, I think… but it wasn’t because he loved me.” he said. “I was only… his shelter; his place to go when he was tired. I was only a temporary home.”

“That made you special to him, don’t you think? Because I won’t go into one’s arms if they’re not so special.”

Jongin gulped bitterly. “But he said he wanted to love someone who loved him.”

“Wanting to love someone who loves you doesn’t mean you love them. You want to, but maybe you can’t. Well, maybe you can, but there’ll always be another option.”

Sehun got a good point that made Jongin lose his words. Almost half a year he kept the thought that he had done the right move to let Junmyeon go with Luhan, but now he felt like he was a biggest fool.

Was Junmyeon really in love with Luhan? Was Junmyeon really happy with him? Why did Junmyeon not accept Luhan right away after Luhan confessed to him? Why did Junmyeon not look happy when he said he would let Junmyeon go?

What if Junmyeon, for the whole three years, loved him too, as much as he loved Junmyeon?

Jongin was a complete moron.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Sehun’s voice was like a soft wind that Jongin could barely hear it.

It’s all too late. It’s too late to find Junmyeon. It’s too late to bring him back into my arms.

It was half a year and the pain grew more painful.

♦♦♦

A year had gone so painfully slowly and not even a single night Jongin could forget Junmyeon. He tried to look normal again, acting like he had managed to mend his broken heart, but deep inside he was still bleeding. He could manage to hold the pain, but it was still painful every time he remembered how he had hurt Junmyeon.

How was Junmyeon doing now? Was he okay? Was he happy? Did Luhan treat him well?

There were so many questions in Jongin’s head. He really wanted to meet Junmyeon again, saying how sorry he was for being so stupid. He wanted to hold the delicate body of Junmyeon; he wanted to hear Junmyeon’s soft voice again. Jongin missed Junmyeon so badly.

Today’s weather wasn’t that good and it made Jongin wonder about how it would be if Junmyeon was with him. Hugging Junmyeon would be so comfortably warm in a rainy day like this. Unfortunately, Jongin was alone, sitting at the table of his favorite café, with a cup of coffee and his laptop—it was Saturday and he’d preferred working outside rather than being alone at home, doing nothing but recalling his memories with Junmyeon.

Twinkling sound was suddenly audible, telling everyone in the café that there was someone coming in. Jongin didn’t really care about it in the beginning, before he recognized who the café’s new customer was.

“Oh, you’re Jongin, right? Sehun’s friend?”

The voice made Jongin lift his head. His eyes got rounder when he saw Luhan standing next to his table, smiling at him.

“O-Oh. Luhan.” Jongin stuttered. He didn’t expect that they would meet; he didn’t wish they would meet, not when his heart was still scattered everywhere because of this man.

“It’s fancy to meet you here! I’m glad you still remember me,” Luhan said with a warm smile. “Are you alone?”

“Uh… yes,”

“Can I sit here? I prefer having a company.”

Jongin looked around. There were a couple empty tables, why did Luhan choose to sit with him? He internally grunted, but he couldn’t say no. “Well… yes.”

A waiter came for Luhan to take his order, and Jongin couldn’t help but stare at the man across from him. Luhan didn’t change much. He was still this handsome man with a sunshine-like smile, reminding Jongin of spring season.

“So, how are you, Jongin?” Luhan asked after the waiter went away. “It’s been a year since we last met, right?”

Jongin smiled awkwardly. “I believe so.” he said. “I’m fine, a bit busy with works and all, but I’m fine.”

Luhan smiled back at him widely. “That’s good to hear.”

“How about you, Luhan? I hope you’re doing fine.”

“You can say so. I’m working as a curator in Seoul Art Gallery.”

“Ah, I see. That’s a good place. I used to go when they held an exhibition. Too bad I don’t have much free time nowadays.”

“I’d like to see you coming one day.” Luhan sighed softly. “Hmm… how about Junmyeon, by the way? Is he alright?”

Jongin’s ears twitched as he heard the question. “Junmyeon…?” he repeated in a low voice. It was such a weird question to be asked, since Jongin believed Junmyeon was with Luhan.

“Yes. I haven’t heard from him anymore. Is he okay?” Luhan continued.

“He… I don’t know. Wasn’t he supposed to be with you?” Jongin asked dumbly. He really didn’t understand what was going on there.

Luhan’s face fell as Jongin spoke. “He’s not with you? Then where is he?”

“How could I know? Why did you think he was with me anyway?”

“Because he said he wanted to be with you!”

It was like a thunder striking Jongin’s head so hard that Jongin couldn’t process Luhan’s words. “He did… what?”

Luhan sighed as he ran his fingers through his locks. “He said he wanted to be with you,” he repeated. “I confessed to him, but he rejected me. He said he loved someone else and it was you. So I thought he was with you, because where else he could be?”

“I…” Jongin completely lost his words. He bit his lower lip, feeling like he was the dumbest person in the entire world. Sehun was right, Junmyeon wanted to love Luhan, but he couldn’t. How could Jongin let him go?

“I think you have to look for him,” Luhan said again after a moment of silence. “I have a feeling that he waits for you to come to him.”

“Why?” Jongin fixed his eyes at Luhan. “I don’t understand. Why me? And why don’t you look for him by yourself? Don’t you love him?”

“I did. A year ago, I did love him, but now I have someone else with me.” Luhan smiled softly, not bothered by Jongin’s sharp gaze. “And even if I still loved him, I wouldn’t make it through. He doesn’t love me, Jongin. It’s you. It’s always you.”

Twinkling sound was heard once more and a man with short body and chubby cheeks came in. He scanned around the room and smiled when he saw someone whom he was looking for. “Luhan!” His cheerful voice interrupted both Jongin and Luhan.

“Minseok,” Luhan smiled at the stranger. He signaled the man named Minseok to wait for a second before moving his stare back to Jongin. “Junmyeon’s heart is the place I’ll never be. It’s yours. So find him, Jongin. I know you loved him too; you still do.”

It was the last thing Luhan said before the man got up and went to Minseok.

“Eh? I thought we would eat here?” Jongin could hear Minseok spoke. “Is he your friend? Is it okay to leave him alone? He doesn’t seem good, Luhan.”

The rest of conversation was inaudible since Luhan already curled his arm around Minseok’s waist and led him outside, leaving Jongin alone with his chaotic thoughts.

He needed to find Junmyeon.

He needed to bring Junmyeon back to him.

♦♦♦

The empty street brought back many memories. It was still the same, with its minimum lights and old buildings surrounding it. It was the place where Jongin first met Junmyeon, and Jongin hoped he could find Junmyeon again tonight.

Jongin drove his car slowly, eyes focusing at the street. He could see one or two were standing there, waiting for someone who wanted to pick them up, but he still couldn’t find the small figure he wanted to see so badly. He heaved a sigh as he turned around only to go down the street once more, in case he missed something.

It was useless. Jongin had been down through the street for the third time, but Junmyeon didn’t show up. Maybe Junmyeon didn’t work tonight? Or maybe he had stopped and found another job—a better one? But if so, Jongin didn’t know where to find Junmyeon. This street was the only place he could think of; he didn’t know where Junmyeon possibly was beside this street.

“Once more,” he muttered to himself. “Once more, Kim Jongin, and if he’s not here, let’s try again tomorrow night.”

With that, Jongin turned around his car and drove through the street once more only to find nothing. He was kind of disappointed, but he didn’t want to lose his hope. Even though he couldn’t find Junmyeon tonight, he would try again until he found the man—but he still had this fear that he couldn’t meet Junmyeon anymore. He made a big mistake in the past and he wanted to fix it. He had to make it right.

Jongin had to make it right.

♦♦♦

It had been two weeks.

Jongin sighed deeply as he, again, drove his car through the street. It was the 14^th night and he still didn’t find Junmyeon. He asked a few whom he met sometimes, but they couldn’t give him an answer. They didn’t know Junmyeon, they said. They had ‘stage names’ and it would be good if Jongin knew what Junmyeon’s was. Unfortunately, Junmyeon didn’t have one back then when they were still together.

Jongin spent 14 nights to look for Junmyeon. He even went through other areas which he thought could be the place where Junmyeon was, but he still found nothing. No one knew Junmyeon, he wondered why.

Maybe Junmyeon had stopped. Maybe Junmyeon had found another ‘Jongin’.

Jongin didn’t want to lose hope. He was still trying to keep his head up. He still wanted to make up with Junmyeon. He still wanted to meet Junmyeon and bring him home.

But why was it so hard now?

Heaving another heavy sigh, Jongin parked his car on the roadside, feeling tired as hell. He leaned his back into the driver seat, thinking that maybe he should stop for tonight. He opened the window before turning off the engine and lazily fishing his pocket pants to grab a pack of cigarette and lit it up. He needed a little break and went home after that.

Sometimes his eyes moved to the street across from where he was, longingly looking for the one he wanted to find, hoping that he would find Junmyeon as soon as possible…

“Oh, Suho! You’re here!” A flirty voice of a woman was loud enough for Jongin to hear.

Jongin exhaled a white cloud as he watched the woman walking toward someone who had just come. It was a man with a short body which looked so delicate. His face was beautiful rather than handsome, and Jongin found it so familiar…

“Junmyeon?” The fact snapped Jongin’s mind back to his thick head. He opened his door and got out abruptly, almost tripping over his own feet. He didn’t care, though—what he cared was he finally found Junmyeon. “Junmyeon!”

The small male’s gaze turned to Jongin as he heard the voice and Jongin felt like his knees getting week as their eyes met. The woman in front of Junmyeon looked confused when Jongin threw his arms around Junmyeon’s body, bringing Junmyeon closer to him, hugging the one he loved as tight as he could.

“J-Jongin…?” Junmyeon called Jongin’s name softly. “Jongin, how could you be here…?”

“I’m sorry.” Jongin whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you. I love you. I’m sorry.”

Sorry didn’t seem enough. Jongin was more than sorry. He really, really regretted what he’d done and meeting Junmyeon was like a second chance that he finally got, and he promised himself he would make everything back to normal, just like the old days when he had Junmyeon in his arms.

“Suho, you know him?” The woman, who was still startled by Jongin’s sudden arrival, asked.

“I…” Junmyeon didn’t seem sure how to answer, but then he continued, “Yeah, I know him. Can you… can you leave us alone?”

“No, we’re leaving. You’re not going to be back here anymore. I’m not letting you.” Jongin chimed in before the woman could say something. He grabbed Junmyeon’s wrist and dragged him to his car—he was so grateful that Junmyeon didn’t shove him away.

They kept silent along the way to Jongin’s apartment, but Jongin didn’t care. Junmyeon was with him, sitting quietly beside him, and he should hold the urge to stop the car and hug Junmyeon as long as possible. God, Jongin swore his heart felt like jumping out from chest that it didn’t want to stop beating crazily.

They reached Jongin’s place a few moments after. Jongin let Junmyeon step inside first as he followed behind. “Junmyeon…” he called the name.

“This place doesn’t change at all.” Junmyeon said. “I hope you didn’t bring anyone to be ed here…”

Jongin’s long fingers found their way to Junmyeon’s hair, the soft locks gently. “Never,” he answered before wrapping his arms around Junmyeon’s slender waist. “Never, Junmyeon. It was always you… and will always be you.”

Junmyeon pulled away slightly from Jongin, only to look up at the taller and give him a soft smile. “That’s a good thing, because I won’t forgive you if you someone other than me.”

And Jongin knew Junmyeon was completely his now.

♦♦♦

“I met Luhan. He told me everything.”

Junmyeon hummed softly, not bothering to even give a word or two. He looked tired after making love, but he never looked as happy as that.

“I was a fool and you were silly back then,” Jongin said again. “We could be together sooner if we were brave to be honest.”

“Took you long enough to understand,” Junmyeon replied in a soft voice.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin tightened his arms around Junmyeon’s body. “And I’m sorry for making you wait… I’m sorry for making you suffer.”

“You’re still a fool,” Junmyeon smiled as he pecked Jongin’s lips. “It’s okay. It’s okay as long as I can be with you. And I’m with you right now, so it’s more than okay.”

“Silly.” Jongin caressed Junmyeon’s cheek gently, enjoying the milky skin under his palm. “You’re still silly, too.”

“Because I love you.” Another kiss landed on Jongin’s lips, now even deeper. “I love you.”

A smile appeared on Jongin’s handsome face. Junmyeon was back under his wings and he couldn’t be more grateful than that.

“I love you too, Kim Junmyeon.”

A/N: I’m really sorry that it took me longer to update. I wanted to make it short, but it got longer and longer. happened when I lost my mood right when I was about to make the last scenes, but fortunately I got the mood back in last minutes. ;;

I hope you enjoyed this story, though! Thank you for reading (and subscribing and, OMG, upvoting even before this story was updated) and have a nice day! :D