If you asked her how her first love would be, she certainly had never envisioned it would be like this.

No.

To be honest, being an idol as she is, she didn't even thought that she would ever be in love; let alone to find her first love—that hopefully would be her eternal love, no matter how impossible it is—well, at least, until she had a successful career in this industry.

Never once she'd imagined that she would meet one so early after her debut.

With an idol, nevertheless.

And a very popular one at that.

It was like a very good recipe on a suicide mission. Like seriously, Son Naeun?

Why can't she found her first love in the college?

Why did he had to be an idol?

And to make matters worse, why did it had to happen in front of the camera?!

Why?

Why?

Why...

.

.

.

She had asked herself the same questions day by day, wondering when did she started to fall for him. Why did she let herself fall in too deep? Especially since she knew that it's all for show; that it's going to be over sooner than later, then they would need to go on like nothing ever happened between them.

She didn't even know when did the line between reality and fantasy had become blurred.

The show really had messed up her feelings. She shouldn't have agreed to participate in it from the very first place. They should've picked Eunji unnie instead; she was so clear about everything she wouldn't let herself caught up in between what was real or not and still could maintain a good relationship with the other party.

How she wished she was that kind of a person.

But none of it would help her now.

She was inevitably, helplessly, painfully had fallen in love with her virtual husband: Lee Taemin oppa.

The problem is, she didn't know if the one she had fallen for is the real Lee Taemin or just a virtual one.

It scared her to death to think that after the camera had turned off for the very last time, her cheesy, silly, adorable, caring Lee Taemin that she had grew fond of, would be nothing but a visual dream.

That's why she couldn't sleep all night. Contemplating on a series of possibilities and how she would react when the truth crashed in.

She hold him tight knowing that it might be her last chance to have him this close, desperately grasping for that fragile red string that connected him to her. But she knew that she was running out of time.

She knew that the camera had turned off for a couple of minutes now, and she could feel his hold on her had lessen. She wondered if they're going to broadcast the last BTS of today's filming. Hopefully not. She could already hear them throwing profanities at her if she hold him for another minute.

"Naeun-ah..."

She even had fell in love with his sweet sweet voice. There's a tint of a boyish pitch in it, a little sign that he is still in a process of being a man. He's still got a long way to go on becoming one, and she loved the fact that she was there, on the front seat, to watch his transition right before her very eyes.

She shuddered at the thought of how she's going to miss this Lee Taemin so much. Like it or not, he's going to be so different the next time they met.

Another set of tears had escaped her eyes for the umpteenth time.

***

On the other side, Lee Taemin looked so lost and didn't know what to do. He wanted to say something to comfort the girl in his arms, but words seemed so empty at the moment. He himself was struggling to hold his own tears, and if she kept crying like this, he knew he wouldn't last any longer.

The WGM crew had packed their stuff silently; watching the couple from the corner of their eyes. This was one of the most heart-breaking moment in the filming. Sure, they've witnessed a lot of couples separated before, but there's something about this young couple that made it really hard to watch. Yes, most of the girls would cry a lot, whether it was acting or just a spur of the moment, they didn't really care. In the end they would bid everyone goodbye with a satisfied smile, thanking everyone for their hard work.

But this time it was different. They couldn't even find the heart to separate the couple from embracing each other, opting to give them some privacy with silence, knowing that it was the least they could do. Somehow, they felt kind of protective with their baby couple. Maybe it was because both of them were so young and so popular they probably didn't even get to know how it would be like to be dating, let alone to get married. They're just kids. And they hadn't got a clue on what they're getting themselves into. Even so, they were so good at it and it was such a delight to see them looked so happy together. Then to see those happy bubbles popped out without a notice, damn... a surge of guilt and regret flooded their hearts.

What have they done?

Once it was all set up, the PD-nim took some responsibillity to approach the couple while the rest of the crew creeping quietly out of the room. She tapped Taemin's shoulder as Naeun reluctantly released him out of her grip, slightly embarrased at the dam that still flowing hard out of her eyes. The PD noona sighed in sympathy before she crouched down before them and reached for each of their hands. She grasped them reassuringly, like a mother to her beloved children she said, "We're going to leave you two alone for now, and I just wanted to say thank you, thank you for all your hardwork and for bringing so much joy in this program, and for giving us so much fun while filming the two of you. And we were all sorry, I'm sorry, that you need to endure a lot of hardships for all that fun, and I am so sorry that there's nothing we can do to protect you... Stay strong, okay?" She emphasized the last sentence to Naeun, which the younger girl replied with a squeeze of her hand and a quite 'thank you'. The PD noona then stood up, "Whatever happened after this, it's all up to you. Thank you for being a part of us, and I wished both of you the best of luck for your career and your life. Don't let anyone ruined that from you, okay? I need to go now..."

The PD then walked out of the theatre without looking back. She didn't know what happened between the young couple, more over, no one really knew what happened between their respective agencies and her own company. All that she knew was that her crew still had a lot of stuff in store for them when suddenly they informed her that it was time to end their youngest couple showtime. She tried to reason with the MBC's executives, but they all said that between their impossibly tight schedule and endless rumour about they're really dating, it was inevitable. They needed to save anything that could be saved.

Desperate actions for desperate measures, it seemed.

She could only hope that they wouldn't paired up another idol couples anymore.

***

Once everyone had left the theatre, Naeun tears had slowed down into intermittent sobs. Taemin reached for her hands and grasped it tightly, drawing circles on the back of her hand as a gesture to calm her down. Funny, she thought, his action just made her more sad. God, she's going to miss the way he held her hands all the time. She's going to miss his presence by her side, even if it just once every two weeks, but he had made a special room in her heart that no one could ever replaced. Knowing that the reserved room would be empty...

"Naeun-ah... why are you crying so much...?"

A whimper escaped in between of her sobs, shaking her head as she tried to wipe away the tears from her eyes. She was crying not only because she would miss him, but most of all out of regret. There were so much things that she wanted to do with him, for him, and now that their time had ended, she was regretting her own cowardliness for not being able to express herself more when she got the chance. She thought they would have a little more time; she was asking for one more day before they parted, just one more day would be enough, instead, this was all she had. She wanted to make the most out of it, but it seemed like the crew had set everything out hastily. It was so cruel.

They should've at least let them choose on how they would've parted ways.

"I..." she tried to choke the words out of , "I didn't know that this is our last day— There's so much things I wanted to do—"

His fingers caught another set of tears that had fallen from her eyes yet again, he was curious, "You still can do it now..."

But Naeun shook her head even harder, "There's not enough time... There's no way I can do all of that in a couple of minutes— Don't you have anything to say to me, oppa?" All of a sudden, she looked up at him expectantly. But his answer only made her feel disappointed.

"I've already said everything, Naeun-ah," he said with a bittersweet smile.

And yes, he did. He had said what he wanted to say to her from some time ago, and he was content with that. Whether she believed him or not, whether she took those words seriously or not, whether she would reciprocate his feelings or not, it was all up to her. He had hoped that she would say those words back these days, he had waited patiently, but there's not a single sign that she would eventually. But it's okay. He wouldn't force her to say things if she didn't mean it. If she didn't feel the same way about him, then there's nothing he could do.

If only he knew, how she was struggling to say it to him. Directly. Face to face.

Screw the camera.

Screw the haters.

"Oppa, seriously? Are you really don't have anything else to ask from me? I've had so much I wanted to ask from you, but I don't want to be too selfish—"

His eyes softened into a reassuring smile, "Just ask me then. Just tell me everything you wanted to say, that's all what I'm asking for. Hm?"

Hug me? Hold me? Stay with me? Don't leave me? Love me? Kiss me?

Could she really ask him these things?

Were these too much to ask for?

Her eyes had once again glazed over with tears as she couldn't find the courage to say it. Her heart hurted so much because of all of the feelings that she held deep in her heart. And the dam broke free again.

"Yah... why are you crying again?"

Taemin then pulled her once again into his embrace. It's ironic really, how he was capable to fulfill some of her wishes without even knowing it. Naeun cried harder on his chest. She thought that she could at least get her first real kiss with him, she didn't care anymore if it'll be on-camera, she didn't care if it wasn't her coming of age day yet, she just wanted him to kiss her. Just once. So she knew how it would be like to be kissed by someone you love, even if it was for the last time and she wouldn't talk to him anymore.

Was it really too much to ask?

Her phone broke them out of their reverie. It's her manager. He called her to inform her that it was time for her other schedule and that he had waited outside of the theatre. The whole time she held Taemin's hand tight, playing with his rosary ring absentmindedly, a habit that she had found as she spent time with him. Once she ended the call, he smiled knowingly and asked, "Is it time already?"

She took a deep breath and diverted her gaze to their intertwining hands. She didn't want to answer him; she didn't want to say goodbye yet. But she had to. The PD-nim was wrong. Whatever happened after this, it wasn't up to her. It wasn't up to him. It was up to the fans, and whoever it was who have the power somewhere up there.

"Oppa... are you going to ignore me after this?"

She was hopeful. At least, she could keep in contact with him. Eventhough she doubted that he would, especially if he had lost his phone again, she didn't know if either of them would bother to exchange phone numbers once again. She would be too shy to ask; he'd probably just thought it was useless since he's most probably would lose it again.

But she's still hopeful... probably... perhaps... he would find her as a friend that he didn't want to lose.

"Do you want me to?" He asked her back instead.

"Absolutely no!" She answered without an ounce of hesitation that he had to chuckle.

"Me neither..."

She could see the sadness in his eyes, the one that terrified her the most, so she continued his unfinished sentence, "...but..."

"...but... I'm afraid that people are going to hurt you more if I didn't..."

No. No no no no no no.

"It would hurt me more if you do."

"I know. Just the thought of it hurt me, too. Just the thought that I'm going to be a forgotten memory to you—"

"You won't be. I don't think I could ever forget you, oppa..."

A trace of smile formed from the corners of his mouth, why does it feel like he was feeling the same way towards her?

Should she...

No. She kicked that thought away before she got any idea. What if she was just imagining it?

If you do that, he'll most probably ran away from you, Son Naeun.

So once again, she swallowed her words.

"So... we'll keep in touch, right?" She asked for his confirmation.

"I'll try my best. But, are you okay if I do ignore you when there's cameras around?"

"Yeah... yeah, I think that's fine..." That should be enough. Right?

Right...?

After everything had finally settled, they stood up from their seats and walked hand-in-hand towards the exit door. She should be relieved that she didn't have to lose him as a 'friend' after this. He'd promised her, so she should be feeling a bit better now, shouldn't she?

Right in front of the door, they came to a stop then faced each other. Naeun swung their intertwined hands playfully, still having a hard time to let him go. It was like a reenacted scene when she visited him on his comeback, only this time, it was her who's not willing to let go. She had hoped that he would hold on to her fingers just like old times, but she could already feel the way he was slipping away slowly from her. She was sure, if she loose her grip now, his hands would fell against her right away.

"So... this is it?" She asked him once again.

"Hm," was his short answer, "Would you like to go first...or should I?"

"I'll go first."

Just like she always did. She had never wanted to be the one who watched him walking away, it would be too much for her to handle. Especially now.

"Whenever you're ready then."

Then he gave her one of that look, that intense look that make her imagining things. His deep gaze that piercing through her eyes right to her heart. Those soft eyes that stole every breath out of her lungs. That one particular look that captured her heart, stopped it from beating out of her chest, then filled it with fluttering pink butterflies.

She took a step closer instead of away from him.

Please don't hate me.

She closed her eyes, then in a second, her lips had found his in an earth-shattering kiss.

A single tear dropped from the very corner of her eyes as she ended the kiss.

Please... don't hate me.

"I love you."

With that said and done, she turned away from him as quick as she kissed him.

And then she ran.

Ran.

Ran.

Ran.

Please... don't hate me...

***

A/N: Some of my subscribers would probably kill me if they saw me posting another new story instead of updating my old ones. Please, don't hate me.

I stumbled upon WGM because of Jung Yonghwa, then after finished watching Yongseo, I've got distracted by Taeun couple and now I'm screwed.

I'll try to focus more on my Hyukstal ff, but I have to get this out of my system first. So I don't know, well consider that I'm not totally MIA, it just take me longer to write things down. Thanks for anyone who was reading this, btw! *peace out*