It was when Jinki said “I promise you forever” that Kibum decided that he trusted Jinki enough to gave him his heart. Jinki had said that he would take care of it, of Kibum’s heart, but what Kibum saw that night at that club was nothing close to taking care. On the contrary, it destroyed his heart. Kibum wasn’t thinking, no, he couldn’t think as he walked to Jinki, whose lips were attached to that… girl’s mouth. Kibum stood there, holding back the urge to punch Jinki right in his face. No, Kim Kibum was better than that.
The girl stopped kissing Jinki when she noticed Kibum staring at them from behind Jinki,

“Excuse me, do you have a problem?” She asked, obviously annoyed.

Kibum casually said, “As a matter of fact, I do.” He tried to show no emotion at all, although on the inside, he was crying his heart out. Jinki snapped his head back when he heard the familiar voice.

“Ki-kibum?”

“Oh! You still remember me? Isn’t that just fantastic?” Kibum said sarcastically. “Good job taking care of my heart, Jinki.” He turned away, walking as fast as he could. Jinki quickly pushed the girl off of his lap and ran after Kibum. The girl didn’t even say anything, she just shrugged and moved to the man who was eyeing her. 

“Kibum… Kim Kibum! Just… wait!” Jinki shouted. 

“Wait for what? I’m done. We’re done. I ing hate you Lee Jinki.” Kibum wanted to cry, but unfortunately for him no tears came out. He was left with an unbearable pain in his chest. Jinki finally caught up and stood in front of the younger boy, both hands gripping Kibum’s shoulder.

“You didn’t even let me explain!”

“What explanation could you possibly give?” Jinki looked down. Deep inside Kibum’s heart he wanted to say something like ‘that drugged me’ or ‘you’re dreaming Kibum’ but Jinki just stayed silence. Kibum sighed and walked away.

“So you’re going to walk away, just like that?” Jinki whispered only loud enough for Kibum to hear. “I got your heart, remember?” Kibum stopped walking and let out a chuckle.

“What are you talking about Jinki? That heart is gone.” With that he kept on walking, ignoring every urge to run back to Jinki and forgive him. Yes, he loved him that much.

Kibum didn’t want to go home. Not when he remembered that he lived in the same building as Jinki. He hastily pulled out his phone and called his best friend,
“Hey, are you free this week? Wanna go to Japan?”

Kibum was under the impression that another country would take his mind off of Jinki, the man he loved oh so dearly. He couldn’t be more wrong. Everything he saw reminded him of Jinki. He managed to relate every single thing with Jinki. So he spent most of his time in the hotel room or just walked around by himself until the sun disappeared. 
10 days Kibum had wasted in Japan. He finally thought he was ready to go back home. 

Kibum came back looking more restless than refreshed. He sighed when he saw the familiar building welcomed him. All he thought about was how nice it was to finally crawl back into the comfort of his own bed. He stepped into the elevator already imagining himself sleeping the day away. 

The sound of the elevator stopping woke Kibum up from his thoughts. Lazily he dragged his suitcase out of the elevator. He stopped on his track when he saw a familiar figure standing next to his door. Their eyes met and Kibum could not think of a single way to avoid him. He walked casually to the door as the other’s eyes followed him, watching his every move. When the door opened, Kibum tried to move as fast as he could without showing his nervousness. Obviously, the other’s hand was quicker. He grabbed Kibum’s wrist, making Kibum’s heart skipped a beat because of the sudden warmth of his touch. He missed him.

“Where have you been?” His voice was small, unconfident. Kibum harshly pulled his hand out from his grip.

“Don’t do this now, Jinki. I’m tired.” That was the last thing he said before slamming the door closed.
Kibum sighed as he entered his room. The place looked exactly the same as before, neat and clean, unaware of the owner’s condition. He dropped his bag on the floor and slammed his body to the soft bed. His mind flew immediately to that person he just saw. What was he doing here? Was he trying to apologize? Was he trying to explain everything? What explanation could there possibly be? Did he ever truly love me? The last thought hit Kibum hard. He didn’t realize that tears were already coming out from his beautiful eyes. Oh, he couldn’t wait to fall out of love.

It was 2 in the morning. Kibum’s gaze was fixed to the white ceiling and once in a while he would glance to the clock to see the numbers slowly increasing. His heart was beating faster than usual and his breathing became more difficult for no reason at all. He threw his hands up in frustration and decided to make a glass of warm milk in hope that it’ll help him get a good night sleep.

As he was walking to the kitchen, his heart started to beat unbelievably fast like it was telling him that something bad was about to happen. He switched on the lights and heard a loud thump coming from outside his door. 

Kibum walked fast to the door and opened it. Right there, in front of him, was the same person he came home to this afternoon. He was now laying on the cold floor, eyes closed, and unconscious. Kibum’s knees weakened as he got down to lift Jinki up. Tears were already forming in the corner of his eyes.

“Jinki? Jinki! Wake up, this is so not funny!” The older didn’t move, “Yah! Lee Jinki! You’re scaring me!” Kibum gathered all his strength and lift Jinki up. He threw Jinki’s body on his back and carried him back to his apartment.

Jinki lived with 3 other guys; Jonghyun, Taemin, and Minho. Fortunately for Kibum, Jonghyun opened the door on the first knock.
“Hi Kibum. What happened to Jinki-hyung?” Jonghyun looked slightly worried.

“He obviously fainted.” Jonghyun nodded. “Yah! Are you going to help me or what?” The blonde muttered “sorry” and lift Jinki off of Kibum. “By the way, where’s Taemin and Minho?” Kibum asked when he noticed the absence of those people.

“On a date, should be home any minute now.” Jonghyun answered as he dropped Jinki’s body on his bed. A few minutes later, a noise could be heard from the front door. “Taeminnie is that you?” He shouted from Jinki’s bedroom.

“Ne~!” Taemin sang as he ran to Jinki’s room. “Oh my God! What happened Hyung?” His eyes widened at the view of Jinki being pale and unconscious. “Did he faint?” Jonghyun smirked.

“I was right! I told you, didn’t i?” Minho merely nodded. Kibum stared at everyone’s faces demanding an explanation of this situation.

“Right about what? Right about what, Minho?”

“Jinki-hyung has been standing outside your apartment for three days,” Kibum’s heart skipped a beat, “We asked him to just wait until you come back and then talk. But Hyung said that it might be too late.” Minho explained,
“Then we had a guess that today, his body is going to give up on him.”
Kibum stared at the sleeping figure with disbelief. He didn’t know he cared this much.

Kibum hated this sight even more than when he saw Jinki making out with that girl. Kibum hated to see Jinki being so vulnerable, helpless, unconscious like this. 

Jinki’s mouth began to move but his eyes were still shut. He kept mumbling stuff, none of them could understand what he was saying. Kibum sat down next to the bed and without thinking, he took Jinki’s hand and held it tight. Still unconscious, Jinki started muttering his name. It drove Kibum crazy. 

“I’m sorry guys, it’s getting really late and I seriously can’t stand looking at him like this. I’m going back to my apartment. Please, tell me if he wakes up.” Everyone gave an understanding nod.

Right when Kibum was about to stand up, Jinki’s hand became stronger and held Kibum’s hand tightly. He quietly whispered through his chapped lips,
“Stay…” Like a robot, everybody’s head automatically turned to Jinki. Taemin poked Jinki’s feet, but he didn’t respond. His eyes were still closed. 

“Just stay” Jonghyun said, “He clearly wants you to stay. I know you’ve broken up with him and he hurt you. But just stay with him, at least just for tonight. You know you want to.” Kibum took a deep breath and sat down again.

“Yeah… Okay, I’ll stay,” He held on a little bit tighter than before, “I’m staying for you,” He whispered to older boy’s ear. Kibum just knew the other 3 walked out with a smile.

Kibum held on to Jinki’s hand like he didn’t want to ever let go. Truth was, he never did wanted to let go of Jinki. He tried, simply because he thought it was the right thing to do. But how come it felt so wrong when it was the right thing to do, right?

“Jinki?” He slowly breathed, “You know what?” Kibum held his breath as he looked at Jinki’s peaceful face. “I was mad at you. I wanted to forget you. I didn’t want you in my life. But then, I realized, I can’t forget you. I want you in my life. No, I need you in my life.” Finally saying these words and admitting it out loud was surprisingly relieving for Kibum, although he was sure Jinki didn’t even heard half of it. “I was lying when I said I hate you. I can't seem to hate you, even when I'm supposed to. You know I love you so much that it hurts right?” He stared at him. Hoping just a little that Jinki heard what he said and gave some kind of a respond. He didn’t. 

Sunlight started to creep in through the curtains, signing that the night had passed. Kibum looked at his watch, the little arrow was pointing at the number 6. He hadn’t sleep, at all and was tired as hell. He stood up and carefully planted a small kiss on the other’s forehead. “Wake up soon Lee Jinki, you still have my heart.” He quietly whispered as he walked out of the room. 

His feet took him to the kitchen. And without thinking twice, he started making breakfast. He was careful not to make too many noises, he didn’t want to wake up anyone. God knows how much they needed more sleep. After he was finished he put it all on the dining table and wrote a note next to it.

He left the apartment with the image of his bed filling his mind and of course, Jinki’s smiling face.