Jonghun POV

I walked through the corridors of my new school, slightly excited since I was a new student here. I wished everything would go on just great. I sighted as I was about to walk into my new class. The teacher saw me and invited me in. I walked inside the classroom and I felt eyes staring at me with curiosity. The teacher wrote my name on the white board and told me to introduce myself.

“Anneyonghaseyo! Choi Junhun imida! Please take care of me!”

The students looked at me with friendly looks and I was really thankful for that.

“Ok, Jonghun, you can sit beside Hongki. Hongki raise your hand so Jonghun can see you.”

I saw one student lazily put his hands up from the corner. He seemed to be sleepy because he didn’t raise his head up to look at the teacher or me. He was resting his head on the desk.

“Yah! Lee Hongki!! Where is that manner of yours?!!! Don’t sleep in class!!!”

The teacher threw her duster to him. I was shocked and looked at him with wide eyes. He rubbed his head where the duster hit him and raised with head with much annoyance.

Omo, he is beautiful.

That was what I thought of him in the first place. I knew it was very weird to call a guy beautiful. However, people would know the true meaning of beautiful just by looking at him. He was gorgeous with his shining blond hair, flawless porcelain skin, red and kissable thin lips and nevertheless, his beautiful glittering eyes.

I walked towards him and sit beside him. He didn’t want to start a conversation so I did.

“Hello! My name is Choi Junhun. Want to be friends?”

He looked at me with a what-a-weird-guy look and he just put his head on his desk again and continued to sleep. I looked at him with disbelief. Why do I have a feeling that this year’s not gonna go so well?

“Ring…g….g…..g!!!”

The lunch break bell rang and so I was ready to get up and go to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. I looked at him and he was just waking up. He was rubbing his eyes just like a kid. How cute! I mentally slapped myself for thinking like that. I mean look at his attitude. This weird guy’s not gonna have any friends with that attitude of his…!!!! ???

“Oppa!! Want to have lunch together?!”

“Oppa! Let’s go to the movies this weekend!”

“Hongki oppa! This is my present for you! Please accept it!”

Seems like I’m wrong. He is way too popular to care for a person like me. I thought as I quietly slipped out of class to have lunch.

Two days later….

Hongki still didn’t care about me yet. Still, I knew a lot of things about him the past two days. He was incredibly popular in this school among girls and even boys. He was good-looking (beautiful in my opinion), and everybody said he had a great voice. I hadn’t heard it though. Whenever he walked into class or walked out of the class or just walking around the school, girls would cling all over him.

And never missed that he’s a player.

I even saw him kissing with one of the school’s queenkas yesterday. When he saw me, he glared at me so I ran somewhere beyond their vision. I kinda regret for that boy. I didn’t know the reason but whenever I saw him, I thought he was hiding something from everyone. I sometimes saw him glancing to the sky through the window during lecture time with his sad eyes.

“Hongki oppa!”

My thoughts were disturbed by a girl who was standing in front of a sleepy Hongki. Hongki looked up and as soon as he saw her he looked away.

“Hongki oppa! Let’s go to somewhere after school today.”

“Sorry. I can’t go today.”

He rejected with a cold voice. I was surprised because he had never said no to a girl before.

“Waeyo? Oppa?”

“I have something to do today.”

“Can I know…”

“It’s none of your business.”

He said and stood up suddenly. The girl was shocked and was looking at him with a feared look.

“What did I told you before we became couple, Mina-ah? Don’t ask anything about me if I don’t want to tell you about it. “

He shouted at the frightened girl and walked towards the door and went out. I didn’t know why but I followed him. I didn’t care about the classes anymore. I ran after him and saw him that he was heading somewhere far from the school. We passed through a small stream and a bridge. I’d never been to this part of town since I was new here. This place was really beautiful. I saw him stopped in front of a thing. I didn’t know what it was since it was covered with flowers. I looked carefully and saw that it was a grave. I was puzzled. Why is Hongki here and what does this grave have to do with him?

I carefully went forward so that I could see his face. But before I could see his face, I heard his trembling voice.

“Mianhe….I haven’t been able to visit you often. Have you been lonely? Do you miss me? I really wish I can meet you soon.”

I could hear his silent sobs piercing through the awfully silent atmosphere. Why was he crying? Who is the person in the grave? My thoughts suddenly stopped when he voiced out his mind painfully.

“I thought…I thought I could forget you. But…I can’t! You are my everything and I can’t just erase you from my life like this.”

Then he suddenly smiled. He was like an angel. I’d never seen him smiled before. I really felt envy to the person in the grave. This person could make Hongki smile despite even existing in this world.

“Do you know that I’ve composed a song for you? I’ve composed it from the day you left me. Now it has completed. I’ll sing it for you. You will like it.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A cool breeze played his blond hair and made his looked like an angel more. As soon as his voice came out, I thought I forgot to breathe.

 “Da gurohgi anhna jigum nunmurun da hullimyon
da niga nege doraonda midnun na
modunge gojidmal irado niga nege ondamyo
nanun gwenchanha jongmal nanun gwenchanha
olmana gidaryoya na ni mamul anulsu
inna ne gasumsoge ojig no hana
ne gasumsoge ojig no
Haruga tto jinado nunmuri hurujanha
chuogdulman sonmyonghejyo jiwojiji anhjanha
Subegbon suchonbon norul bullobwado nonun dudjil anhgo
tto dashi wechyobwado nonun odie
Sarange gasumi chidgyojindahedo
sewore mudyojindago hessodo
anijanha gu shiganboda do manhi aphahago uljanha
sarange gasumi munojindahedo
ttodarun saranghamyonso salsu itdago hetdon
maldul modu da gojidmarijanha
Sarangheso ttonanda hunhan byonmyong ttemune
meilmeil nol boryodo miryonduri namnabwa
Subegbog suchonbon norul bullobwado nonun dudjil anhgo
tto dashi wechyobwado nonun odie
Ibyore sangchodo aphugin hajiman chamumyon ijul gora hetjiman
anijanha miro nelsurog han baldo kkumchog jocha anhjanha
ibyori tto darun sarang burundago hetdon mal
nan anijanha i jarie gu nugudo moth oge
shikhigoman itjanha
Ttonan saramira marhedo dudjil anha
we jakku no hanaman chadnunji molla
Saranghetdago norul saranghetdago
nunmullo norul bullo bwado ibyorun narul buthjabado
da gojidmal modu da gojidmal
haruharu jinagalsurog niga doug senggagnikka
Sarange gasumi chidgyojindahedo
sewore mudyojindago hessodo
anijanha gu shiganboda do manhi aphahago uljanha
Sarange gasumi munojindahedo
tto darun saranghamyonso salsu itdago hetdon
maldul modu da gojidmarijanha
Mianhetdanmal modu da gojidmal nal ttonajima
nol saranghanikka (saranghandamyo we ttonaga)
no obshin andoejanha
(Guron mal shwibge hajima sarangi unikka unikka)”

 “ Isn’t everything like that? As my tears flow, I believe you’ll come back
Although everything’s a lie, if you say you’ll come back, everything’s alright; it’s alright
Even if I have to wait a lot, you’re the only one who can capture my heart
In my heart there’s only you
As a day passes by, my tears spill
The memories won’t erase
A hundred times, a thousand times, however many times I call you, you don’t hear
I try calling out, but where are you?
Even if the love in my heart is torn
Even if the time passing by is dull
That’s not right; the time that passes by kills me and I cry
The love in my heart is being broken, by being in love with someone else
Saying I could live without you was a lie
“I’m leaving because I love you” because of that excuse
Though I get rid of you every day, the stupidity remains
A hundred times, a thousand times, however many times I call you, you don’t hear
I try calling out, but where are you?
Even if our parting hurts
To endure and hold it in…
No, that's not right; as I push harder nothing moves at all.
You said that breaking up will bring new love
That isn't true for me, breaking up is just making me stay here,
Not letting anyone come.
I keep telling myself that you’re gone
but I don't listen to myself and keep looking for only you.
I loved you, I loved you
I try to call you with my tears even though our parting keeps me back.
Everything's a lie, everything's a lie
I think of you more as more days pass
Even if my heart tears apart from loving
Even if the time passes by, and everything’s smudged
No that's not right, I'm more hurt and cry more than before.
It's a lie that even if my heart falls apart from loving,
I'll be able to live by loving someone else
It was all a lie when I told you I could live
When you said you were sorry, everything's a lie
Don't leave me because I love you
Why are you leaving me if you said you love me?
I can't live without you
Don't say those words so easily, love cries;
Cries”

I saw him collapsed to the ground and I quickly ran towards him to check that if he was alright. He was trying to control his tears running down from his flushed face. He looked up at me with surprise.

“Why are you here?”

I smiled.

“Well, let’s just say it’s a coincidence.”

“Then go. I don’t want you here.”

“But you need me here!”

I said and he looked up me with surprised again.

“What do you mean? I don’t need anybody.”

“Yes, you do! You need somebody to draw you out from your painful past. You need to stop torturing yourself.”

He brushed my hand from his shoulder violently and shouted with anger.

“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME! ANYTHING ABOUT THIS! WHY DO YOU CARE?! DON’T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!”

I shook my head stubbornly.

“May be I don’t know what happened in your past but I can surely see in your eyes that you need someone to pull you out from living in the past.”

“Living in the past!? I’m not living in the past!”

“Yes you are. As long as you cannot pull yourself out of the shadow of your past, you’ll never stop being so painful. You think this person will want to see you like that?”

I saw uncertainty in his eyes. He looked just like a lost puppy trying to figure its way out.

“You must live your life full of happiness, Hongki-ah. Nobody wants to see you like this. I can help you. Will you just let me be your friend?”

I asked him hopefully. He looked really lost. Like he didn’t know what to do. I stretched out my hand for him to grab. He gazed at me with his sparkling eyes. Then he held my hand hesitantly. I was dying of happiness. I pulled him up from the ground. I hugged him happily while he looked at me with wide eyes and pulled me off him.

“What are you doing!?”

“We’re friends now. Aren’t we?”

He was still looking at me with his wide watery eyes. I pinched his cheeks.

“Aigoo. You are just sooo cute. Come. I will buy you something as a remembrance of our friendship. What do you want?”

He struggled for a while and finally said with a grin on his face.

“Ice-cream! I want vanilla flavoured!”

“As you wish!”

One month later

Hongki POV

“Aigoo! You like ice-cream that much, Hongki-ah? Eat slowly. You have cream stuck on your face.”

I smiled while Junhun wiped the ice-cream off my face. From that day on, he and I became really close. He helped me to forget about my past. My painful past about him. Yes, it’s a “he”. My first love was a “he” and I’d never told Junhun about that. He thought my first love was a girl. It didn’t make any difference though. He was gone and I finally could accept the fact that he was gone. He didn’t stand out for me when the whole school bullied me of being gay and hurt me and yet I was still in love with that person. When he was gone, I dated a lot of girls so that I could forget about him and prove myself that I was straight. It didn’t work though. I couldn’t forget about him although now the whole school accepted that I was straight. It was still my worst nightmare. Junhun was my life saver.

“Hongki-ah, what are you thinking?”

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about our next class.”

“Next class is Music class. You like music, don’t you?”

I nodded happily. He suddenly seemed so serious.

“To tell the truth, Hongki-ah, you have a totally wonderful voice. Why don’t you want to show you talent in front of everyone?”

I dropped my spoon and looked at him. I though of my first love telling me that I could only sing in front of him because he would get jealous if other people fall for me. Junhun’s voice shook me back to the reality.

“Hongki-ah, are you OK?”

“Um..actually I want to be a singer, Junhun-ah.”

He smiled warmly.

“A singer? Wow, that is really great. So then, I can write songs for you. I can play guitar too. Do you want to listen?”

He showed me his favourite guitar and started playing it. It was really good. He was really talented. His expression seemed so serious while he was playing and I really liked that. After he played, he looked at me with playful and yet determined look.

“Why don’t we try to become singers, Hongki-ah. Especially you. You can be the singer and I will be the guitarist. This is so cool.”

So, we will form a band, huh? I really liked the idea. It was cool!

“Really? Then, from now on, we must try hard to become talented musicians! Deal?”

“Deal!”

He shouted happily and we raised out hands after we shouted.

He gave me life.

He gave me hope.

He gave me dream and

He was my everything.