He walks the same street every day.

Its Spring, the sun is merciful and he’s thankful for that as he starts scaling the street that he loves to take a stroll in, every day. The hour of the day doesn’t matter and so do the motive for doing this. He simply loves doing and it also almost unavoidable as he lives in the street that this one connects in the end. So he walks the same street every day, just as today, soaking in the vast expanse of buildings and cars filling the neighborhood and warming up with the brightly shinning sun.

He walks the same street every day.

Hoseok is a star now. He is J-Hope, one by seven of the amazingly successful and talented boy group BTS. This meant that privacy is almost a luxury that he cannot afford anymore. However, this street is his secret box, the one place in all of Seoul where he can breathe without being photographed. He loves the show business, no denial there. He loves the attention and appreciation that their fans give them. He feels blessed and always lets the fans know that. However, he is human and he needs privacy. So he walks the same street every day, enjoying the time away from all the attention he receives.

He walks the same street every day.

There’s a lot of past that he carries along with him every time he walks down the street. Before he became the well known person that is now, this street has seen him in his worst days, his inhibitions and weakness painted all over the area. He had carried more worries and doubt than he could remember now during his trainee period. Of course, six other guys shared the same anxiety he had possessed but somehow, at certain moments, he’d felt that his anxieties were different than theirs and it was going to ruin it all for him. He surely had one that he was sure that the seven of them didn’t have in common. He has made it now and new anxieties crop with his ever growing career but he was to feel new things in his life and thankful for the things he had. So he walks the same street every day, wondering how it would have been if that one anxiety that mattered the most had lasted.

He walks the same street every day.

Her voice still rings in his ears, clear and bright as the day itself and a smile creeps up his lips without effort, gently. ‘I want to hear your voice forever…’, she had told him all of a sudden that day, when they were walking down the same street, headed towards their homes. She’d been one of the first friends he had made since he’d packed his bags and reached Seoul to realize his dreams. He’d been lost on the way of finding the dorm that he was supposed to move in that day and had met her in the very same street, where she had offered to help him find his way with an amazingly beautiful smile that he still remembers vividly. Two years later, walking down the same street, she had told him of her wish, with them being more than close friends. He’d taken her hand into his and held it tight for a moment before replying, ‘I’ll make it as a singer soon and you will be able to listen to me whenever you like.’ She’d smiled the same way she had when they first met and replied gently, ‘I know, I am waiting.’ He still swears to himself that his heart had skipped a beat that moment. So he walks the same street every day, hoping he could feel the same way that he did before, just one more time.

He walks the same street every day.

His face turns a bright red and it has nothing to do with the heat. He fans himself as he recalls how he got caught by his fellow members when kissing her under the moonlight after their first real date. They had gone to dinner and held hands as they walked down the street when suddenly he had felt the urge to stop and stare at her. She had worn only jeans with a plain purple tee, but she had seemed extremely pretty to him and he couldn’t control. His luck had been so bad back then that his band mates were walking back from having ramen at the little restaurant at the beginning of the street. He remembers every one of their reactions thoroughly. Jimin and Taehyung had legit screamed out loud cheering in happiness while Yoongi and Seokjin were smiling gently, as if they were proud parents. Namjoon had been too sleepy to react and Jungkook’s eyes were so wide in disbelief, almost wondering if he was capable of it in the first place. He also clearly remembers how she hadn’t felt embarrassed but simply played along with them, cheering louder than those two and dancing around. Then she had hugged him tight and kissed him in the cheek, thanking him for an amazing night before bidding goodbye to them all for the night. So he walks the same street every day, to have a good laugh reminiscing about those moments and also hoping, just hoping, that he will be able feel the warmth against his chest that he had felt back then again.

He walks the same street every day.

The wonderful news of debut had come along with the sad reality of them not being able to be together anymore. He knew this day would come and after a while it was the only anxiety that he had in his mind. He didn’t want to lose her but this was all that he worked for so he cannot give on his career either. He had wondered, maybe he could be great friends with her forever. That was what they were before they developed an extended affection and that was never going to change. He was confused to the core and he had called her to meet up and discuss about it. They had met in the same street that night where he had put forth the conditions subtly and tried to put forth the possible options through which they could be together but he rather remembers the astonishment that followed it. She had patted him on his shoulders and smiled, congratulating him first and telling that they should end this next. She had assured him so gracefully that it was all okay and that she knew that this day would eventually come. He had felt the anger rush almost immediately when she had uttered those words, tears welling up in his eyes, thinking that none of it had been serious for her as it had been for him. All that had diminished instantly when he saw the tears finally escape her eyes and lose control but still smiling and assuring himself that everything will be okay. So he walks the same street every day, trying to find the traces of tears that they both had left there that night.

He walks the same street every day.

Months after they had ended things, they had debuted. They had received amazing cheers and praises for their performance and he couldn’t be happier. He still remembers the exhilaration with which he had celebrated that wonderful beginning with the guys, who were now his extended family. He also remembers how tactically he had sneaked out from their dorm once the festivities died down at night, to take a walk and noticed that his phone had a new voicemail. He had frozen to the ground when he heard her voice play through his headphones, tears already fighting him at the mention of his name. She had moved out without telling him where she was going but by simply sending him a text message stating that it was only for the best. She said she couldn’t even risk being around him and inadvertently cause any trouble for him, even a simple speculation, during his debut period, thereby cutting all ties with him. He still remembers the glee he had felt while listening to her voice joyfully stating that she had seen his performance on TV and also bought their album. She had told him that he was amazing and that she was happy to see his dreams come true and also thankful that she could listen to his voice whenever she wants, just like he had promised, fulfilling her wish and that all was okay. He simply stood there as the words hit him, simply glad that he decided not to change his phone number. So he walks the same street every day, but stops at the same spot for a moment, where he had lost himself in happiness just by listening to her voice.

He walks the same street every day.

He had been walking down the street that day as well, with Jimin and Taehyung, after grabbing themselves some ice cream, when he had received that phone call. He had been greeted by a sobbing lady on the other end of the phone and she still feels how twisted his gut became the instant he heard the lady’s voice. He had almost collapsed to the ground listening to the lady speak and he would have if Jimin hadn’t noticed it right on time and caught him. He still remembers the caution and worry filled face of Taehying’s and the vice grip that Jimin had on him, filled with concern, as they kept asking if he was okay and also remembers how dry, morbid and defeated his voice sounded when he told them that it was her mother on the line, calling to let him know that she had passed away that morning. He recalls clearly how every cell and fiber in his body had wished and prayed that it was all just a bad dream. So he walks the street every day, still hoping that it was.

He walks the same street every day.

She had been sick while they were friends, even before they had broken up. She had had a weak heart and had been getting treatment until they could find a proper donor heart that matched her, to do a heart transplant. It had and still hurts him when he thinks of the pain he had given her on top of all her struggles and the things she had to feel because of him. ‘You didn’t know about it.’, Namjoon had told him as he had dressed up for her funeral. ‘You are not to blame yourself. She didn’t tell you because she was okay with it and didn’t want to hurt you. She knew what she was doing, so don’t blame yourself. I feel that she wouldn’t like it.’ Yes, he hadn’t known but he felt that he should have seen right through her as they were best friends rather than lovers. It had irked him to think about all the difficulties she had faced and despite that the effort she had taken to spend time with him and give him only happiness was giving him nothing but guilt. He had kept wondering about one thing all through the service, while he paid respects to her, while greeting her parents and while travelling all the way back home, drenched in his own tears. He had kept wondering if he had given her enough happiness in the time they shared and if he had been a selfless person who had nothing but love to give her, all the while being selfish and focused only on his dreams. He had gotten his answer when he played the voicemail again as he walked down the street to go home.

‘You embody hope and happiness on stage now. However, you should know that you were all that and more to me since we first met each other. You should also know that you will forever be the same too.’

He had stopped on his path and looked up at the sky instinctively when a mildly hot ray of sunshine greeted him in return. He had closed his eyes and taken a deep breath and before he realized it he had been smiling. So he walks the same street every day, greeting her when the sun shines brightly or when the moon dances in all its glory.

He walks the same street every day.

It’s become a habit, a routine but more than anything, it is something he feels compelled to do. It is not only because of her but also the events and incidents that happened in the very same street that shaped him to be the man that he is today. He carries on with the memories he had made and wonders about the new ones he will make as he loops her voicemail, a sound file now in his phone, her voice soothing him through his headphones. With their comeback just days away, he is excited. All the hard work and effort put into making this album will soon be showcased and he couldn’t be happier. He stops at the same spot he met her years ago and looks up to the shinning sun and smiles. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and stays that way for a moment as the sun warms his face. He pulls out his headphones and switches to his camera and takes a picture of himself, eyes still closed but with a wider smile. He looks at it and finds the sun has brightened his face so much that he could feel her presence within him greatly. He clicks a couple more, just for fun, all the while wondering maybe he should post some on their Twitter to tease his fans or not. He looks up at the sun, one last time, his squinting but not closed and remembers the words she gave him as precious as a wish and thanks her once again, for all the strength she gives him. So he walks the same street every day, to remember the journey that began with her and to remember the journey that will mostly be because of her.